Stay at Home Moms

Hello & Free Childcare?

Hello!

I'm not new to TB but I've been MIA for a bit. I am 33 and have two daughters, Ariel Rose (Pandabear) age 2yrs, and Monica (TootsieBelle) age 7yrs. I'm a SAHM and DH works from home as well. I wanted to say hello, and ask you all a question. I've searched back recently and don't see this topic, so my apologies if this is a repeat or a "beaten till dead" horse.

My cousin is 22 and just had a DD2mos with a former flame. He is completely not involved, though she's holding out hope. She just started a full-time position at a dentist office and I offered to watch DD 40hours a week for $100/wk. She flipped out and the long and short of it is that I "don't do anything all day anyway", that her DD sleeps most the time, and I'm family so I should do it for free because "that's what family is for". Her non working mother refused to watch DD.

My question is, as SAHMs how often, if ever, do people expect you too watch their children for free, and (with the average cost being $250/wk in Northern Ca) is expecting $100/wk for 40hrs of childcare a ridiculous price? What would you do/say?

(Please forgive me if my siggy is out of date. I'll update ASAP.)
Lost but never forgotten <3 : </br> 1st BFP 2/8/06 m/c @ 12 weeks; 2nd BFP 2/9/07 w/ Clomid; DD (Monica Caroline) born 11/16/07; 3rd BFP 3/25/11 w/ injections m/c @ 5 weeks; 4th BFP 8/3/11 w/ injections diagnosed blighted ovum; 5th BFP 1/20/12 m/c @ 9 weeks; 6th BFP 4/27/12 Praying for our rainbow Lilypie First Birthday tickers Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers Daisypath Anniversary tickers

Re: Hello &amp; Free Childcare?

  • No, no one has ever asked me to provide child care for them for free and there is also no way would I do it.  Maybe very temporarily if someone is in a pinch, but in for the long term.  No way.  

    I would politely tell your cousin that this isn't working for your family any more and she will have to make other arrangements.  If she asks why it isn't working, just smile politely and say " I don't want to go into details but it isn't working. "
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  • edited July 2015
    I dont contribute a lot to this board but I'm a SAHM who babysits and I keep one of my best friend's sons during the school year because she is a teacher like I used to be. I consider her to be like family but she agrees that it is reasonable for her to pay me $150 a week for M-F 7-4:30. That is $30 a day which is what the other girl I sit for pays me for her 2 days a week. It would be one thing if it was a grandmother who offered to sit for free (which my DD's great-grandma did for a year when I was working) but even then it was voluntary and she stopped when it became to much for her at 73. I think it is very unreasonable for her to think you should sit for free and I wouldn't want to sit for her just based on the comment "you dont do anything all day". I do plenty and have a full schedule. Just because I SAH doesn't mean I dont have a life. Also her DD may "sleep all the time now" but newborns dont stay newborns and unless she is planning to quit work in the next 4-5 months her baby will be getting into things in no time. Tell her to go find other childcare and she can call you back when she decides that $100 is a resonable amount to pay. I promise unless she finds someone else to take advantage of, that she will be more than willing after she hears $250 a week from daycares.
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  • I just came back to the Bump and haven't been contributing yet but wanted to comment on this! I'd suggest thinking long and hard about babysitting in the first place.
    A few months ago my friend asked me to watch her DS (3mo) until a daycare spot opened up. My DS is almost 2 and it was a complete nightmare. It ended up being almost 50 hours a week with travel time and she paid me 40$ a day. So so not worth it. I thought (arrogantly) that one more kid wouldn't be difficult but once he stopped sleeping as much he cried all the time.

    So, not trying to discourage you even if she does pay you, just really recommend preparing yourself. Also, it was prett rude of her to say you do nothing all day and say you should do it for free. It is a huge responsibility.
    H. Foxe born October 22, 2013
  • No one has ever asked me to provide them with free childcare, and $100 a week sounds like a GREAT deal to me! 
    Married 07.07.07. Mom to 3: Ruby 11/08 and Oliver & Austin 12/11
  • annie10annie10 member
    edited July 2015
    No one has ever expected me to watch their kids for free. I trade off child care with my sister-in-law and friends from time to time when one of us needs a sitter for a few hours and then we reciprocate with each other. Works out beautifully and the kids play together. If she had the nerve to say "you don't do anything" it sounds like there will be more problems down the road. I would nicely tell her you will no longer be able to do it. 
  • I think that woman is bat crap crazy.  You offered a wonderful deal.  I'm a SAHM during the Summers but in the fall I often have to get friends to help my during my grad school classes.  I pay them $10 an hour for 2:30 to 5 pm a couple days a week.
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  • Also, FWIW I live in Nor Cal too, and we pay $20 an hour for a babysitter. 
    Married 07.07.07. Mom to 3: Ruby 11/08 and Oliver & Austin 12/11
  • You offered her a dream deal. She needs a reality check. This coming from a stay at home mom of 4 ( 6 year spread) and I babysit another little girl in the mornings and some afternoons during the school year. Your cuz is delusional and out of line.
  • Thank you all so much! I thought it was a good deal, but started to question it. I told her I wasn't available any longer and she came back with a huge apology and begging me to watch her after a day of researching prices. I'm watching the baby, but I won't hesitate to end the deal if she acts entitled again.
    Lost but never forgotten <3 : </br> 1st BFP 2/8/06 m/c @ 12 weeks; 2nd BFP 2/9/07 w/ Clomid; DD (Monica Caroline) born 11/16/07; 3rd BFP 3/25/11 w/ injections m/c @ 5 weeks; 4th BFP 8/3/11 w/ injections diagnosed blighted ovum; 5th BFP 1/20/12 m/c @ 9 weeks; 6th BFP 4/27/12 Praying for our rainbow Lilypie First Birthday tickers Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • I dont contribute a lot to this board but I'm a SAHM who babysits and I keep one of my best friend's sons during the school year because she is a teacher like I used to be. I consider her to be like family but she agrees that it is reasonable for her to pay me $150 a week for M-F 7-4:30. That is $30 a day which is what the other girl I sit for pays me for her 2 days a week. It would be one thing if it was a grandmother who offered to sit for free (which my DD's great-grandma did for a year when I was working) but even then it was voluntary and she stopped when it became to much for her at 73. I think it is very unreasonable for her to think you should sit for free and I wouldn't want to sit for her just based on the comment "you dont do anything all day". I do plenty and have a full schedule. Just because I SAH doesn't mean I dont have a life.

    Also her DD may "sleep all the time now" but newborns dont stay newborns and unless she is planning to quit work in the next 4-5 months her baby will be getting into things in no time.

    Tell her to go find other childcare and she can call you back when she decides that $100 is a resonable amount to pay. I promise unless she finds someone else to take advantage of, that she will be more than willing after she hears $250 a week from daycares.

    Totally agree! Tell your cousin to stop acting like a stuck up #!$@$.

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  • .... My 2 cents... When I first had my son we didn't have ANY family or help around to watch the baby. We did it all on our own for the first year then we decided to get him enrolled in daycare which was $200 a week for an infant when he was 6 months. My daycare seemed to cost a lot more than others who were paying for childcare but he got quality care! DH and I were working at the time so we could afford it and an occasional babysitter for date nights.

    I understand if she doesn't make enough and if she doesn't has she tried to apply for subsidized childcare through the state?? Anything is better than nothing.

    But as far as HER excuse in trying to make YOU feel bad... Just because youre a SAHM doesn't mean you don't do anything all day. I am now a stay at home mom expecting #2...I run errands for my husband, grocery shop, spend time with my son, exercise (ymca) , cook, clean, study... Just like every SAHM does probably! Your cousin is dumping her child on you and making it your responsibility. Lets be realistic you can be taking that 40 hours and make more money anywhere else. As for family I do babysit for my family when needed but I tell them MAX 2 days a week for free other days you got to pay up.

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