This is totally TMI but at 36 weeks I find it hard to wipe after pooping: I can barely turn my body enough!!! I said to DH the other day, "How the heck am I still supposed to be doing this in 4-6 weeks?!?" Seriously. Haha.
Two words for you. Moist.Wipes. They are a life saver for all those with summer due dates. Side note: I hate the word moist. It grosses me out.
DH plays softball competitively. We were at a tournament last summer and all the girls went too (they were playing in FL). Somehow the conversation turned towards the word moist, upon which one wife said she hates the word too. I chime in and let them know DH hates the word panties and wont say it. He gets a hit and gets on first and we all start yelling out panties to him. All of a sudden my MIL (YES MIL) yells moist panties. This woman has never cussed a day in her life and does not speak about sex!! He died laughing on the field as did we. We the proceded to come up with our business plan for our strip club Oist Anties. This became the ongoing joke for the trip and we called out for Oist Anties anytime we were getting each others attention. Off subject, but couldnt resist.
I have an update to my TMI. My doc put me on pelvic rest because of how dilated and effaced I am. I told DH, "Now I have a real excuse to turn you down for sex." He said, "There's still your ass." I about punched him. Luckily he waited to grace me with that one liner until my doctor left the room. [-X
I have an update to my TMI. My doc put me on pelvic rest because of how dilated and effaced I am. I told DH, "Now I have a real excuse to turn you down for sex." He said, "There's still your ass." I about punched him. Luckily he waited to grace me with that one liner until my doctor left the room. [-X
Haha sounds like my DH. It's like, "umm think I'm constipated enough, thanks!"
I have an update to my TMI. My doc put me on pelvic rest because of how dilated and effaced I am. I told DH, "Now I have a real excuse to turn you down for sex." He said, "There's still your ass." I about punched him. Luckily he waited to grace me with that one liner until my doctor left the room. [-X
Haha sounds like my DH. It's like, "umm think I'm constipated enough, thanks!"
That would so be my husband! I told him around 16 weeks to not ever touch my ass again for the duration of this pregnancy, it was hard enough to poop on my own without him trying to complicate things! Lol. He hasn't dared touch it since, especially when I told him the poop line lol!
What's making me feel sexy.. Umm I live in Florida and swamp ass and swamp Coochie are the norm every summer but easily managed. It is not possible to manage it whilst pregnant. Not at all. Nope. Then there's the "don't laugh or move, or you fart" thing. My 16 year old step son nearly died of embarrassment when I went to get up the other day and let a huge one rip. He thinks I did it on purpose. I most definitely did not.
So much sweat... and because of this sweat I've been sleeping topless which has led to my boobs leaking on my DH. Also, the bend/laugh/cough induced farting. I'm so sexy
I'm having a chuckle at everyone's expense here... Ah isn't pregnancy a beautiful time in a woman's life? I have nothing to add to the above. I'm totally jealous of those of you who can fart and poop. I think my digestive system has died.
I have an update to my TMI. My doc put me on pelvic rest because of how dilated and effaced I am. I told DH, "Now I have a real excuse to turn you down for sex." He said, "There's still your ass." I about punched him. Luckily he waited to grace me with that one liner until my doctor left the room. [-X
Haha sounds like my DH. It's like, "umm think I'm constipated enough, thanks!"
That would so be my husband! I told him around 16 weeks to not ever touch my ass again for the duration of this pregnancy, it was hard enough to poop on my own without him trying to complicate things! Lol. He hasn't dared touch it since, especially when I told him the poop line lol!
What's making me feel sexy.. Umm I live in Florida and swamp ass and swamp Coochie are the norm every summer but easily managed. It is not possible to manage it whilst pregnant. Not at all. Nope. Then there's the "don't laugh or move, or you fart" thing. My 16 year old step son nearly died of embarrassment when I went to get up the other day and let a huge one rip. He thinks I did it on purpose. I most definitely did not.
I live in Florida too and I just have to add that this is a terrible time of year to be pregnant. Between the heat, bloating, and swampy-ness, it just takes pregnancy grossness to a whole new level :-(
I peed myself for the first time on Saturday after I sneezed. I was at my parents and about to leave the house for 4th of July funtivities when this happened (no change of underwear) so I had to use a blow drier to dry them up!!! My husband stood by and laughed. I was just disgusted with myself. :-q
I can't handle the swamp nether areas. I'm changing my underwear 4 times a day. And the inability to groom myself was killing me. The sweat and hair caused chaffing and diaper rash basically. So my WONDERFUL husband took a little electric raiser and helped a sister out while I laid on a towel on the bed. What a champ. I don't feel 100% better but it's a relief for sure!
I have to be at the top of the sexy list ladies sorry. During sex yesterday, my husband said you have a tiny afro your ass, where did all of this hair come from? All without missing a stroke. I almost DIED :-w !!!
The sweat is real! I am never really hot, but this stage is killing me. I feel like I need my deodorant stick on speed dial 24-hrs a day.
So I have internal hemorrhoids and they don't hurt or anything but they make me when I know, you know, go number 2. I bought some intrarectal cream and got too nervous to put the applicator inside myself so I made my husband do it definitely made me feel like he deserved the husband of the year award lol
First of all, I have completely given up on taming the jungle I've got going on in there. And NOW I've had the shits for three days. I have also had bacterial vaginosis almost my entire pregnancy. Nothing's working to kill it. No sex for me! Definitely not feeling attractive
I have an update to my TMI. My doc put me on pelvic rest because of how dilated and effaced I am. I told DH, "Now I have a real excuse to turn you down for sex." He said, "There's still your ass." I about punched him. Luckily he waited to grace me with that one liner until my doctor left the room. [-X
This reminds me of my husband! When I told him I wouldn't be able to face sex for at least 6 weeks after delivery, he said "your mouth's not broken." Um!
I have an update to my TMI. My doc put me on pelvic rest because of how dilated and effaced I am. I told DH, "Now I have a real excuse to turn you down for sex." He said, "There's still your ass." I about punched him. Luckily he waited to grace me with that one liner until my doctor left the room. [-X
This reminds me of my husband! When I told him I wouldn't be able to face sex for at least 6 weeks after delivery, he said "your mouth's not broken." Um!
Lmao auto correct! I meant have sex. Not face sex. That was an ironic typo lol
Re: TMI Tuesday
That would so be my husband! I told him around 16 weeks to not ever touch my ass again for the duration of this pregnancy, it was hard enough to poop on my own without him trying to complicate things! Lol. He hasn't dared touch it since, especially when I told him the poop line lol!
What's making me feel sexy.. Umm I live in Florida and swamp ass and swamp Coochie are the norm every summer but easily managed. It is not possible to manage it whilst pregnant. Not at all. Nope.
Then there's the "don't laugh or move, or you fart" thing. My 16 year old step son nearly died of embarrassment when I went to get up the other day and let a huge one rip. He thinks I did it on purpose. I most definitely did not.
I live in Florida too and I just have to add that this is a terrible time of year to be pregnant. Between the heat, bloating, and swampy-ness, it just takes pregnancy grossness to a whole new level :-(
The sweat is real! I am never really hot, but this stage is killing me. I feel like I need my deodorant stick on speed dial 24-hrs a day.
Drink water=heartburn
Drink milk= heartburn
Thinking=heartburn
Insomnia!! Currently up for last 20 hrs straight with just a tiny cat nap. WTF?!?!!!?!
My vag feels like I am carrying a 30lb bowling ball, burin have only gained 16lbs so far and I am 36+1.
Not wishing for baby to come early, but this shit is pure torture at this point!