Hi ladies-
I know quite a few of us have new rainbow babies, and several more are expecting rainbows in the near future. I thought I'd start an unofficial check in to see how things are going. How old is your rainbow? Is it harder than you thought? What is the best and what is the most difficult for you? Have you still been getting support from family and friends?
Me 32 (Stage IV Endometriosis, short luteal phase) DH 38
Married 5/2010
January 2014- DS born healthy at 35.4 weeks
February 2014- DS passed away due to complications from adenovirus
February 2015- Rainbow baby DD born at 36.3 weeks
My chart: http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/42fd32
Re: PAL, how are you doing?
L will be 5 months old tomorrow, I can't believe it. Having a healthy baby at home has been so amazing, but definitely very emotional too. While all of the firsts are so exciting, they also make me incredibly sad because I think of how I didn't get to experience most of them with Q.
I'd say seeing L smile and laugh are the absolute best things ever. I especially love when her daddy makes her giggle
I have been very lucky to still receive support from family and friends, and I'm grateful for that. I don't want anyone to ever forget my son, so we still talk about him and include him.
Me 32 (Stage IV Endometriosis, short luteal phase) DH 38
Married 5/2010
January 2014- DS born healthy at 35.4 weeks
February 2014- DS passed away due to complications from adenovirus
February 2015- Rainbow baby DD born at 36.3 weeks
My chart: http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/42fd32
Hi girls! It's good to "see" you!
I can't believe how big both of your LOs are! Man, time goes by so fast.
I have to share, and since the PGAL check-in seems to be MIA lately, here is as good as anywhere, but I got a BFP on Father's Day! We are so excited! I'm just barely 6 weeks today, and a lot could still change, but my first two betas have been good, and I had my third draw just today. Hopefully we will be welcoming our rainbow early next year!
@ikrystal - so glad to see you back and I'm happy to hear you are enjoying your little girl while still parenting your boys:)
@stefuge - so happy for you! What a great Father's Day! I will be thinking about and praying for your family and your new baby.
Our rainbow is 1 month.
It's easy and hard - we are so in love with her. We are managing sleep deprevation, but so incredibly happy to have her. It feels surreal at times and I need to pinch myself to make sure it's all real. We are so happy to have her. Sometimes it's hard too I wish all the time my son was here too with his sister - they look alike- he was the male version and my daughter the tiny female version of my husband and I. We still include my son. We brought his picture to the hospital, took family photos with him and included him on the birth announcement.
Family and friends have been supportive. My parents had cement work done and my mom had the grandchildren's names written in it. I was so happy to see my son's name with his cousins' and my daughter's.
stefuge: congratulations!! Wonderful news!
msunshine123 : That must be hard that your two babies look so alike. L really doesn't look like Q at all, although every once in a while she will make a face like he did, and for a second they resemble each other.
ikrystal : I can't believe our baby girls are 5 months! Where did the time go?!
msunshine123 : Congratulations on your LO! I love that your parents included both of your babies, exactly like it should be
Me 32 (Stage IV Endometriosis, short luteal phase) DH 38
Married 5/2010
January 2014- DS born healthy at 35.4 weeks
February 2014- DS passed away due to complications from adenovirus
February 2015- Rainbow baby DD born at 36.3 weeks
My chart: http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/42fd32
C is 3 months old and I can't believe it. I think having him home is about what I expected- I'm so so happy but feel overwhelming sadness at times as well. Watching C pass different milestones is amazing but also makes me think about Wesley and wonder what he would be like now. The big surprise is that I don't love the infant stage like I thought I would and I feel a lot of guilt about that! Like I should enjoy every second since we had so little time with Wesley. But I'm trying to work through those feelings and be kinder to myself.
Afterall, we are happy and healthy and so so grateful for our two boys .
@erinel thanks for the check in!!!!!
First CONGRATS @stefuge!!!!!!!!!! Great news! Im so happy for you!
It's nice to be back.....It always brings me such comfort to come on here and see the women who were around when I started on the loss board. Each of you have "held" my hand through the very hard times and I just wanted to say Thank You...
@erinel how fast time flies by! Can't believe L is 5 months old!!
@ikrystal Your baby girl is absolutely beautiful and I love how the boys are included in things that you do. I think it's great that your mom shows off her grandbabies!!
@msunshine123 Congrats on your baby girl!!! Every min of deprivation is worth it, lol.
@Bgirma Don't feel guilty... you are dealing with a lot of emotions. C will be out of the infant stage before you know it that's when the fun really starts!!
AFM
How old is your rainbow? My beautiful rainbow will be 10 months old in a couple of days!! OMG where has the time gone?!!
Is it harder than you thought? In the beginning it was hard, I felt a lot of guilt because I didn't really connect with her and I was sad all of the time instead of enjoying my little miracle who was right in front of me.
What is the best and what is the most difficult for you? Everything about her is the best. The fact that she is here and healthy and alive is the best thing! She's a little firecracker, she's very sassy and already has a sense of humor and a big personality. The most difficult thing so far is taking pics of my kids and knowing that the pictures are not complete. A big piece of my family is missing.
Have you still been getting support from family and friends? No one really talks about it. My sis is also a loss mom and she mentions something occasionally but that's it.
@ikrystal - I love that you have kept the boys such a huge part of your family. You'll know what's right when it comes time to tell her about her big brothers.
@erinel - I hear you on how bittersweet milestones are because you know what you missed with your sweet Q.
@stefuge - I am so so excited for you! I actually inboxes you a week or two ago to say congrats!
@msunshine123 - I hear ya on the sleep deprivation! @-) You are doing great! That is so sweet that your parents included everyone in their new cement!
@Bgirma Wow! 3 months! The infant stage is tough they're so needy and don't really do much. Don't feel bad for not enjoying it!
@jonahsma I can't believe it's been 10 months!! I'm glad she is doing so well! Pictures are definitely difficult for us too!
AFM--
Our little guy is 3 weeks old now! It seems like it was just yesterday but at the same time seems like he's always been here. It's been...I guess easier than I anticipated. Nighttime feelings are hard because when I look at him in the dim light, he looks a lot like Mary. Every so often I have a little breakdown that I have these beautiful boys but still missing my sweet girl. I still have all of her things sitting in a box, unused.
How did you guys make it through the 9 months and stay positive?
@jonahsma - congrats on your little girl. I know what you mean about family pics. Thinking about them makes me sad because my son will always be missing. I like the idea of @ikrystal - trying to continually incorporate him in different ways and I'll guess I'll have to get creative. @ikrystal please share your ideas. We used my son's photo at the hospital for a family shot, but I'd love any suggestions.
@schulme2 - so happy for you and your little guy! Night time feeds have been challenging for me too. It's ok and normal to be happy with your boys and still miss your daughter. ((Hugs))
@ reedermom1 - I'm so sorry for the loss of your daughter. Congratulations on your current pregnancy. Surround yourself with a lot of support for this pregnancy as it will be a balance between hope and fear. We are here for you.
@msunshine123 - regarding family photos, some ways that we incorporate Colton is either including his Colton Bear, holding a photo, incorporating an elephant (which we associate with him from his nursery), wearing turquoise (which we used in his nursery), or taking a photo in front of his tree in our backyard. I also have photos up in the house with all of our shoes and booties for Colton, silhouettes of both of the boys made from newborn photos of each, photos of bubbles (which we used at Colton's first birthday party), and then more elephants throughout the house.
I have been trying to reply for a couple of days, but for some reason my computer or the website wouldn't let me, I'm glad it seems to be ok now!
Mel&John2013 great to see you too! That must be tough having Harrison in the nursery. I haven't moved L in the nursery yet, although Q was still in our room when he got sick, so I don't have that association.
This past weekend was tough, but I made it through! We had L baptized, and I was really nervous because the last time we were at that church (we have moved about 20 minutes away and occasionally go to a different church) was for Q's funeral. I kept meaning to go there ahead of time so it wouldn't be so bad the day of, but I never got around to it. It worked out though, I only cried a little, and I'm pretty sure no one noticed because there was so much else going on.
Me 32 (Stage IV Endometriosis, short luteal phase) DH 38
Married 5/2010
January 2014- DS born healthy at 35.4 weeks
February 2014- DS passed away due to complications from adenovirus
February 2015- Rainbow baby DD born at 36.3 weeks
My chart: http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/42fd32
@dadalou- it's so good to "see" you! I'm glad life is adjusting with Felicity's arrival. I'm sorry that is seems everyone is forgetting Nathaniel. We recently found out we are expecting baby #3 and it concerns me that the same will happen to us as well. Everyone will assume new baby replaces Colton and won't talk about him anymore. It's already at the point where they don't talk about him much, so I worry this will be the tipping factor. His second birthday is coming up, and I wonder how many people will contact us this year compared to last. I'm so sorry you are dealing with this, especially with Abby. of course you want her to love her little sister, but that is so hard to feel she replaced Nathaniel with felicity. ((Hugs)).