Lmao how is that eww? Your on a baby board, your saying ew to a game that consists of a diaper and melted chocolate, but your gunna have to change real dirty diaper with poop once the baby comes...just saying lol
I don't have an audience goading me to stick my nose in it when I change my nieces diaper.
The chocolate diaper game is pretty lame. The best one is the toilet paper roll and plunger game. Simulating how baby was made!
Ps. I agree that throwing your own is tacky. You can quietly ask your mom to throw it and give her some money if they are short money. You can even hep plan it if you want. But to admittedly throw your own is just plain tacky and gift grabby.
The chocolate diaper game is pretty lame. The best one is the toilet paper roll and plunger game. Simulating how baby was made!
Ps. I agree that throwing your own is tacky. You can quietly ask your mom to throw it and give her some money if they are short money. You can even hep plan it if you want. But to admittedly throw your own is just plain tacky and gift grabby.
:-O I have never even heard of that game. Now we've moved to sex simulation at a party? My grandmothers would roll in their graves.
Well what kind of games are you throwing that nobody likes? Lol I love baby shower games! I think my favorite is the one where you have to guess the type of chocolate in the diaper (poopy diaper)
To me I guess I thought it was pretty funny because it was my very first baby shower to attend to so it kind of just stuck. In sure it won't be at mine because my cousin is hosting it, but it made everyone laugh and it was just a good time so that's why I saw it as being a fun game. And I've never heard of the plunger game?? Lol how does that one work?
Surely throwing a shower for yourself or having someone throw one for you is the same thing? You still have guests, you still have games, you still celebrate your pregnancy and you still get gifts, if throwing one yourself is classed as tacky and gift grabbing then surely excepting one a friend is willing to throw is classed as the same thing?
My favorite shower game is pin the sperm on the egg. There's no lovelier sight than seeing Grandma with her eyes covered holding a little paper sperm on her hand.
Surely throwing a shower for yourself or having someone throw one for you is the same thing? You still have guests, you still have games, you still celebrate your pregnancy and you still get gifts, if throwing one yourself is classed as tacky and gift grabbing then surely excepting one a friend is willing to throw is classed as the same thing?
. Nope. Hasn't this been covered ad nauseum? Someone else throwing a party for you =\= you asking people to bring you presents.
This thread has been done, several times since we all started on this board back in April.... And the end result is always exactly the same. Some people see no problem with it some people find it extremely tacky and no amount of arguing is going to sway either side. And apparantly we are destined to repeat this same argument over and over and over again
Surely throwing a shower for yourself or having someone throw one for you is the same thing? You still have guests, you still have games, you still celebrate your pregnancy and you still get gifts, if throwing one yourself is classed as tacky and gift grabbing then surely excepting one a friend is willing to throw is classed as the same thing?
No. A shower is a gift from a friend or relative. Their choice to spend the money and host an event for you. The hostess has decided that you and your baby are beloved and worthy of being "showered" with gifts and wishes.
You throw your own you are saying, "come, celebrate ME and bring me stuff!" When you make the decision to ASK for gifts, people get squirmy.
This thread has been done, several times since we all started on this board back in April.... And the end result is always exactly the same. Some people see no problem with it some people find it extremely tacky and no amount of arguing is going to sway either side. And apparantly we are destined to repeat this same argument over and over and over again
Such is the nature of baby forums. When babies are here, this will be the least of our concerns. The bigger fish to fry then will be breastfeeding vs formula feeding, attachment parenting vs free range parenting, baby led weaning vs purees. Can't wait.
To me I guess I thought it was pretty funny because it was my very first baby shower to attend to so it kind of just stuck. In sure it won't be at mine because my cousin is hosting it, but it made everyone laugh and it was just a good time so that's why I saw it as being a fun game. And I've never heard of the plunger game?? Lol how does that one work?
You pick partners. One partner waits with toilet paper between their legs. The other has to run as fast as possible with out dropping the plunger that's between their legs. Who ever gets the toilet paper roll on the plunger without dropping and getting back to start position is the winner. It's pretty hilarious and fun!
Just google "Toilet paper and plunger baby shower game" if my directions made no sense!
Surely throwing a shower for yourself or having someone throw one for you is the same thing? You still have guests, you still have games, you still celebrate your pregnancy and you still get gifts, if throwing one yourself is classed as tacky and gift grabbing then surely excepting one a friend is willing to throw is classed as the same thing?
I think its the same thing. Doesn't matter whose "host" name is on the invite. If your going to a shower either way you are expected to bring gifts. Think about it. How much smack would a group of friends talk about guests who didn't bring gifts (granted this is hypothesizing that the person has the means to do so).
Surely throwing a shower for yourself or having someone throw one for you is the same thing? You still have guests, you still have games, you still celebrate your pregnancy and you still get gifts, if throwing one yourself is classed as tacky and gift grabbing then surely excepting one a friend is willing to throw is classed as the same thing?
I think its the same thing. Doesn't matter whose "host" name is on the invite. If your going to a shower either way you are expected to bring gifts. Think about it. How much smack would a group of friends talk about guests who didn't bring gifts (granted this is hypothesizing that the person has the means to do so).
A shower is a gift giving event. Of course gifts are expected! No one is arguing this.
However, a shower in itself is a gift to you by whoever is hosting or planning it. So yes, there's a huge difference if you or someone else is planning it.
Do you honestly go around asking for gifts from people on any given day? What makes it ok to start doing so just because you're pregnant?
Do what feels right to you! A lot of a taboo is with it, it seems, but you know what? It's your baby, it's your choice. There's no law saying otherwise. If people feel it's wrong, tell them they don't have to show up, they don't have to come. Boo hoo, your baby isn't going to know the difference.
People throw receptions for weddings, people are expected to bring gifts usually off a registry, aka a thing telling people what to bring, and nobody calls it 'tacky'. People throw their own birthday bashes! A party is a party, just because you are pregnant doesn't change the fact. Do what you feel you want to do, and hold your head high!
Plus, prevents others from holding petty fights over who gets to host and plan it..
I don't have anyone to throw me a shower really either. As you may already know my mom is being difficult and my mother-in-law says that she will, but she always have lots of things on her plate. It breaks my heart to think that I will not be able to have one of the things that I have been looking forward too.
All my friends are real young minded and couldn't plan anything like this to save their life. My aunt on my father's side will come but will not throw it as I am having a child out of wedlock. My aunt on my mother's side does not have the resources to throw one. And I would be ever grateful if someone on SO's side stepped up to throw one, but I can't expect it and then be heart broken.
I don't give a shit about gifts! I just want to get together with all the women and play the games and talk the smack. I don't think it's fair to not have one just because I don't have someone else to host it.
Do what feels right to you! A lot of a taboo is with it, it seems, but you know what? It's your baby, it's your choice. There's no law saying otherwise. If people feel it's wrong, tell them they don't have to show up, they don't have to come. Boo hoo, your baby isn't going to know the difference.
People throw receptions for weddings, people are expected to bring gifts usually off a registry, aka a thing telling people what to bring, and nobody calls it 'tacky'. People throw their own birthday bashes! A party is a party, just because you are pregnant doesn't change the fact. Do what you feel you want to do, and hold your head high!
Plus, prevents others from holding petty fights over who gets to host and plan it..
Receptions aren't gift giving events though. The entire purpose of a reception is to thank your guests for coming to see you get married. While people often give gifts for people getting married, it has nothing to do with the reception. This is why you don't put registry information on wedding invites.
I don't have anyone to throw me a shower really either. As you may already know my mom is being difficult and my mother-in-law says that she will, but she always have lots of things on her plate. It breaks my heart to think that I will not be able to have one of the things that I have been looking forward too.
All my friends are real young minded and couldn't plan anything like this to save their life. My aunt on my father's side will come but will not throw it as I am having a child out of wedlock. My aunt on my mother's side does not have the resources to throw one. And I would be ever grateful if someone on SO's side stepped up to throw one, but I can't expect it and then be heart broken.
I don't give a shit about gifts! I just want to get together with all the women and play the games and talk the smack. I don't think it's fair to not have one just because I don't have someone else to host it.
Then, just have a party.
Look, if people want to throw a party to just get together with friends and family, great! Nobody cares or is going to side eye that. It's when you call it a shower and include registry information that it becomes an etiquette no no. A shower is a gift giving event. A luncheon is not.
I've just been lurking a bit on these threads today, but @misamima you should really think before you say the things you do. You have no idea what other peoples situations are. I can personally say that it's offensive that you talk down on people that have asked for something. Now, I don't know anyone else's situations so I have no room to judge, nor would I because what everyone else does doesn't affect my life in any way. Personally, my husband and I are struggling financially so gifts from family are greatly appreciated. My mom doesn't live in our state anymore, so she couldn't throw me a baby shower...but I did ask her if she would be willing to help out with buying some things for us and the baby. And this was also passed on to other family members too (so if they do decided to get gifts, it's the necessary items). Did I want to ask for help? No not really, but I did because sometimes, people just need a little help. So before you go saying people are just gift grabby, you should consider that their situation might not be the same as yours. Until you've walked in their shoes, you don't really don't know anything about that person.
And I really do apologize if this comes off as rude, and I hope it doesn't. I just feel bad for some of the ladies on here who get shit on for not following "etiquette" rules? Not that I knew they even had those lol. I like to see every angle of the situation before saying something or making assumptions.
IMO - Asking for help from your mother because you need some financial help is MUCH different than throwing yourself a party where you're asking people to bring you gifts.
Ok i have something to say because you people are ridiculous.
In my family, it's gauche to have a baby shower planned by anybody but your closest female relative(s). So most of you are already going to cultural hell as far as some people are concerned. "I just know what's right" is so ethnocentric and so culturally biased.
Do you see what i'm saying? Those of you nitpicking and turning your noses up at what you think is rude still look rude to some of us.
Or would.. see I'm not a traditionalist for the sake of being a traditionalist. I have to have a good REASON to think something is right or wrong. Not just Because Everybody Says So.
If you can get married and expect gifts, ffs you can MAKE PEOPLE and expect gifts. Making people > demanding jewelry from some dude in exchange for wearing an expensive dress. (Because, let's face it, that's what a wedding is..)
Do what you think is best for you. I've never heard of someone not having a shower because no one offered to throw one either, but I am a FTM and I'm new to this. I think that if people love and care about you, they'll come and support. Even if they don't, they'll come and then talk about it with the same comments you may have read in response to your post. OR they may talk about how you have no one to throw you a shower and "how sad" that is. So I'd say, never mind what anyone has to say, because it is your choice in the end. I didn't mean for my comment to come across mean if it did or snarky, nor to start with any pps either, I'm just trying to put things in context for you.
Suggestion: If you were to go home and have a shower, I'd say asking friends and family over there if they'd be willing to just get you gifts on your registry and have it shipped directly to you. I'm sure they would understand, considering that you live in another country. Again, just a suggestion.
I hope you decide on something that makes YOU happy and that works for you and your loved ones.
*Edited because I hit enter after finding a fantastic smiley without actually adding any comments*
I am also a lurker and hardly ever feel compelled enough to write a comment, however, a baby shower is something I clearly have strong convictions about. I think most of you missed the point of a baby shower. A baby shower is NOT about gifts or games or any of this other crap we have made it out to be. A baby shower is about celebrating a baby and celebrating a woman at the most pivotal time of her life. Every baby deserves to be celebrated as does every mommy. Asking your friends and family to come together to celebrate your special miracle is not tacky and does not display bad etiquette, at all. In fact GOOD etiquette dictates that if you are invited to a party, as a guest, you SHOULD bring the hostess/host a gift as a thank you for their hospitality. So if she happens to get a couple of gifts from her guest it is nothing more than them displaying good manners. Go on girl, get your party on, you deserve it!
@groovylocks baby showers =/= weddings. Baby showers = bridal showers. You're comparing apples to oranges. Weddings celebrate a marriage (regardless of what your views on marriage may be). Gifts are traditional, but not the reason for the event. The sole purpose of a shower is to "shower" the guest of honor (MTB or Bride) with gifts to prepare for the new phase of her life.
Who writes the registry? Is it the expectant mother or the host? Surely if it's the host then she wouldn't really know what gifts would be useful and if it's the mother (which I'm sure it is) then that would be classed as gift grabby? So let me get this straight, it's ok to have a shower if someone else hosts it for you and pays for the event as that's not classed as tacky even though it's the parents who write the gift list to hand out with invites but if a mother did all this off her own back it's wrong and gift grabby?
Surely throwing a shower for yourself or having someone throw one for you is the same thing? You still have guests, you still have games, you still celebrate your pregnancy and you still get gifts, if throwing one yourself is classed as tacky and gift grabbing then surely excepting one a friend is willing to throw is classed as the same thing?
I have to agree. It's the same thing..if someone is throwing it for you, it's because it's protocol and no one wants to be the shitty friend.
Maybe back in the day it was novel and new, it was an honor and a surprise, but now it's just one of those things that comes with having a baby, so it doesn't matter who throws.
But, as with most things baby (and politics) no one is going to change their minds about it if they have a strong opinion either way.
Who writes the registry? Is it the expectant mother or the host? Surely if it's the host then she wouldn't really know what gifts would be useful and if it's the mother (which I'm sure it is) then that would be classed as gift grabby? So let me get this straight, it's ok to have a shower if someone else hosts it for you and pays for the event as that's not classed as tacky even though it's the parents who write the gift list to hand out with invites but if a mother did all this off her own back it's wrong and gift grabby?
A lot of people just set of up registries just for the discounts associated with them and treat them like a glorified shopping list.
Say you broke your leg and had trouble getting around. Are you going to send out your grocery list and ask people to pick up items off your grocery list for you and your family because you're having a hard time moving around? No, because that would be extremely rude and presumptuous. You might have friends falling over themselves to help out, but you're not going to petition them en masse with your grocery list. But if someone asks you for your grocery list and then chose to ask other people if they were interested in helping you out, that's not rude, that's just having nice friends.
I think if you want to just have a party to gather with loved ones, awesome! Just don't call it a shower because showers denote gifts.
People buy stuff for new babies all the time without prompting.
My only 2 cents about all the baby shower threads is to do whatever you want! Sure, you now posted to an online forum and maybe you didn't get responses you liked. But you are not obligated to do what anyone says. You want to throw your own shower? Do it! Someone else is throwing a shower for you? Great! My biggest issue is to just do it. Why the desire to talk about it and argue about it when all these threads never get resolved.l? No one is going to change anyone's viewpoint on proper etiquette or not despite everyone's argument. Just do whatever you want to do, just don't post about it.
Sorry just don't understand this whole baby shower thing, I'm from the uk and it's not that big here although I think it's on the up, also if I was getting someone to go food shopping for me coz I had a broken leg I would write them a list, and if someone here in the uk throws a dinner party, birthday party or even an engagement party it's polite to take a gift but that person throwing the party doesn't send out a list saying 'I want this for my birthday' if I was to have a baby shower I wouldn't have any issues about throwing it for myself and I also wouldn't be asking for gifts or writing a gift list as that is rude, people will come with gifts off their own backs and who cares if you end up with 20 of the same outfits it's the thought that counts and at the end of the day they are their because they love me and want to celebrate my pregnancy and just coz someone may have sent out the invite themselves doesn't make that any different
I wouldn't feel comfortable holding my own shower, especially if I'm not close enough with any of the people that they wouldn't even think to hold me a shower. I'm someone who would never have a baby registry either, though... I think a party to meet the baby after she/he is born is a way better compromise. I wouldn't have a "gift opening" part to the party then, though. If someone brought a present I would open it with them personally or something. Since bringing a gift would not be asked of anyone it would be kind of strange to have a gift opening.
Hey guys this is my first post so here goes. I live in miami but all literally all my close friends and family live in Aruba, where im from. I don't know anyone that im close enough to in Miami that I think will throw me a shower. So should I skip all together or throw it myself? Or does anyone have any creative ideas? I'm due in December. Thanks fellow mommies
I spoke to my cousin earlier and explained your situation, she is the mom of a 2 year old and almost had a similar situation herself. She suggested maybe a gift card party. Diaper parties are cool too, not as formal and it can just be a dinner/lunch and hang out session. If you are a new mom, you can frame your gathering as a support the new mom kind of thing. You can have ppl write tips in a book or on diapers and play games. This is all up to YOU. Yes, it is considered "tacky" to throw your own shower, but who cares? If we were friends in Miami, especially knowing your whole like life is in Aruba, I would support you. Plus, if you are a first time mom, I'm sure you'd want to do all the things that ppl usually do no? This can also be a way to maybe get to know people better. What about your partner and his family? Are they around? What do they think about this? Maybe they would like to throw you guys a shower? Or maybe they are people you can invite. I'm just making suggestions. I don't like when people who want to celebrate positive things don't get to. It makes me sad. I hope that helps.
In all honestly I don't see the big "no no" about throwing showers for one self. I'm from CA and most showers here are thrown by the mom to be! The celebration isn't about you regardless is about your LO.
I'm throwing my own, my sister the her own, granted we help each other out, but we were the one throwing our own bby shower.
Who cares what everyone else thinks! Celebrate your LO:)
Re: planning own baby shower?
Ps. I agree that throwing your own is tacky. You can quietly ask your mom to throw it and give her some money if they are short money. You can even hep plan it if you want. But to admittedly throw your own is just plain tacky and gift grabby.
Um... Yep? Fake sniffing/eating pretend poop at a social gathering falls squarely in that category for me. Is that really a UO?
:-O I have never even heard of that game. Now we've moved to sex simulation at a party? My grandmothers would roll in their graves.
And I've never heard of the plunger game?? Lol how does that one work?
Speaking of tacky games -
My favorite shower game is pin the sperm on the egg. There's no lovelier sight than seeing Grandma with her eyes covered holding a little paper sperm on her hand.
. Nope. Hasn't this been covered ad nauseum? Someone else throwing a party for you =\= you asking people to bring you presents.
Such is the nature of baby forums. When babies are here, this will be the least of our concerns. The bigger fish to fry then will be breastfeeding vs formula feeding, attachment parenting vs free range parenting, baby led weaning vs purees. Can't wait.
Just google "Toilet paper and plunger baby shower game" if my directions made no sense!
Asking people to buy you gifts is tacky (and then giving them a deadline of when they need to buy your gifts), regardless of the reason.
However, a shower in itself is a gift to you by whoever is hosting or planning it. So yes, there's a huge difference if you or someone else is planning it.
Do you honestly go around asking for gifts from people on any given day? What makes it ok to start doing so just because you're pregnant?
People throw receptions for weddings, people are expected to bring gifts usually off a registry, aka a thing telling people what to bring, and nobody calls it 'tacky'. People throw their own birthday bashes! A party is a party, just because you are pregnant doesn't change the fact. Do what you feel you want to do, and hold your head high!
Plus, prevents others from holding petty fights over who gets to host and plan it..
That is not a reason to do anything..
In my family, it's gauche to have a baby shower planned by anybody but your closest female relative(s). So most of you are already going to cultural hell as far as some people are concerned. "I just know what's right" is so ethnocentric and so culturally biased.
Do you see what i'm saying? Those of you nitpicking and turning your noses up at what you think is rude still look rude to some of us.
Or would.. see I'm not a traditionalist for the sake of being a traditionalist. I have to have a good REASON to think something is right or wrong. Not just Because Everybody Says So.
If you can get married and expect gifts, ffs you can MAKE PEOPLE and expect gifts. Making people > demanding jewelry from some dude in exchange for wearing an expensive dress. (Because, let's face it, that's what a wedding is..)
Get over yourselves.
*Edited because I hit enter after finding a fantastic smiley without actually adding any comments*
I am also a lurker and hardly ever feel compelled enough to write a comment, however, a baby shower is something I clearly have strong convictions about. I think most of you missed the point of a baby shower. A baby shower is NOT about gifts or games or any of this other crap we have made it out to be. A baby shower is about celebrating a baby and celebrating a woman at the most pivotal time of her life. Every baby deserves to be celebrated as does every mommy. Asking your friends and family to come together to celebrate your special miracle is not tacky and does not display bad etiquette, at all. In fact GOOD etiquette dictates that if you are invited to a party, as a guest, you SHOULD bring the hostess/host a gift as a thank you for their hospitality. So if she happens to get a couple of gifts from her guest it is nothing more than them displaying good manners. Go on girl, get your party on, you deserve it!
<:-PMaybe back in the day it was novel and new, it was an honor and a surprise, but now it's just one of those things that comes with having a baby, so it doesn't matter who throws.
But, as with most things baby (and politics) no one is going to change their minds about it if they have a strong opinion either way.
I think a party to meet the baby after she/he is born is a way better compromise. I wouldn't have a "gift opening" part to the party then, though. If someone brought a present I would open it with them personally or something. Since bringing a gift would not be asked of anyone it would be kind of strange to have a gift opening.
I'm throwing my own, my sister the her own, granted we help each other out, but we were the one throwing our own bby shower.
Who cares what everyone else thinks! Celebrate your LO:)