Naming the Grandparents...

momotheflyinglemur · July 2015

We were having this conversation yesterday on r/BabyBumps

Both SO and I are the oldest of all our siblings and the first to start a family. So we have two sets of grandparents trying to choose names! Thankfully his parents have nieces and nephews that are already giving them adorable nicknames to work with. So we will have a Grandpa Beezer and Grandma Gigi, which I love and think are adorable because they sound like real grandparent names, but also go along with their real names. Beezer is actually a nickname my FiL has had since a little kid!

My mother on the other hand is pretty young (acts even younger) and is having some issues accepting that she is going to be a grandmother. She is dead set on being called Sassy, which is a random adjective she picked out of the dictionary to describe herself. No one I have talked to about this thinks that this is an acceptable grandma name, no one even thinks that is creative. Most just say that it is massively cringe-worthy. I want her to be called Grandma Mandy, because this is her childhood nickname and its endearing. Not sure how to bring it up as she is totally closed off to any suggestions, ignoring completely that SO and I are going to be doing most of the name associating.

What are your parent's called as grandparents? Did anyone have to have a conversation about an unacceptable or cringe-y name choice? If so, how did that go?

dec15mum · July 2015

My mum is the same as yours, she's young and doesn't want a "grandma" title which I think is fair enough, I understand. So she wants to be called Nonnie because it sounds kinda like nana/nanny but doesn't make her seem older.
Hope you find a name you both like!

lmgagliardi@hotmail.com · July 2015

Honestly, this is hard. I don't know that there's a way to approach it without making your mom mad. But I would just put my foot down. Later down the road you can blame pregnancy hormones

I would remind her that what you call her will matter most, and you are not calling her sassy. You can say maybe she passed her sass onto you, make light of it. Just tell her everyone else is being called grandma or grandpa and that's the designation you would like so as not to confuse the child. Tell her the other one is grandma Gigi and she can be grandma Mandy or grandma something else but she will be called grandma or Grammy because that's what she is

taysun · July 2015

My mother is 42 and this is her first grandchild, so I asked what she wanted to be called. She surprised me with wanting to be called Lola, which is I guess a Filipino name for a grandmother. I think it's a little silly sounding as we are not Filipino but since it'll be a while before baby is able to call her anything, I'm hoping my mother will change her mind or baby will come up with their own name.

MoreKittens · July 2015

My parents chose their own. My sister and I both had suggestions (Gigi, Opa, Grootvader.. jk with that last one) but at the end of the day, since it's what they will be called, they chose (Nana and Grandad for the record). However, we also know that it isn't necessarily set it stone yet because a lot of it will depend on what the kid can say - and who knows what might develop out of that. I would encourage you to keep making suggestions

Maybe there's a good compromise in there! Mimi? Nanny?

chewie5990 · July 2015

What about something like naynay or Mimi...if she doesn't want the grandmother title...I had a mawmaw and pawpaw on one side and a granny and grampies on the other side.My DHs parents are Tita and Tata but my parents are first time grandparents and I'm not sure yet what they are going to go by..I'm sure you can find a list online of common grandparent names.. But I would not go for Sassy that sounds pretty awful

misamima · July 2015

taysun said:

My mother is 42 and this is her first grandchild, so I asked what she wanted to be called. She surprised me with wanting to be called Lola, which is I guess a Filipino name for a grandmother. I think it's a little silly sounding as we are not Filipino but since it'll be a while before baby is able to call her anything, I'm hoping my mother will change her mind or baby will come up with their own name.

My mom is Lola and my dad is Lolo to my DD. But we're Filipino so that was a given.

DH's parents are the traditional Grandma and Grandpa.

momotheflyinglemur · July 2015

taysun said:

My mother is 42 and this is her first grandchild, so I asked what she wanted to be called. She surprised me with wanting to be called Lola, which is I guess a Filipino name for a grandmother. I think it's a little silly sounding as we are not Filipino but since it'll be a while before baby is able to call her anything, I'm hoping my mother will change her mind or baby will come up with their own name.

I have heard Lola before while teaching Pre-k and I think its cute as long as you use the FIlipino grandfather name too, that way at least its consistent. I think its Lolo. I wish my mom would do some actual research and find an ethnic name, that, at least to some group of people, actually means grandma, ya know?

Although, if it really irks you that I also hope that your mom changes her tune.

CMDD · July 2015

Sassy? I think that whatever you call the grandparents to your child they will pick up on. My MIL asked me what she can be called and said that my mom gets 'first dibs' on a name. They want Gramme and Grandma and traditional things like that. I think your names were really cute but i'd feel weird about Sassy.

momotheflyinglemur · July 2015

@misamima

Aha! I knew I had it. I would like an ethnic grandparent name, even if it wasn't my ethnicity, because at least it means some thought went into it!

@chewie5990

I will definitely try to find an online list of creative and original grandparent names. That way I can go to her with the one that I like and then also present were with a list of ones she can choose from, but not Sassy! All I can think of is the damn cat from Homeward Bound!

kgover · July 2015

Definitely think Mimi would fit your mom, my step daughter used to call my parents Grandpa Shrek(his name is Rex) and Grandma Loop (her name is Lori) so I don't think it could get much worse than that!

colsen4 · July 2015

My ex-stepmom always joked that she wanted to be called glam-ma because it sounds glamorous and not old. I'm glad I don't have to deal with that but I would have picked it over sassy (sorry). My dad will be Papa G (first initial). If up to me nanny and papa would be used because that is what I called my grandparents. Not sure what LO will call my bfs mom. He joked "just call her mom that's what everyone does." I also wouldn't mind mama as it goes with papa. Mawmaw and memaw are cute but I feel the kid will out grow that. Hope you can come to a compromise with her.

Jenichael1217 · July 2015

My parents haven't decided for sure yet. My dad was thinking of using Pappy, the name that he called his granddad. I think it's adorable and would totally fit him. I think more recently, they were thinking of using their childhood nicknames, Krissy and Kenny. I prefer pappy, but I feel like your grandparent name is one of the few times in your life that you truly get to pick what others will call you!

My aunt and uncle go by Mimi and opa with their grandchildren. I think opa is super adorable because he grew up in Austria and it means grandfather.

BCIndychick · July 2015

My younger sister had two kids recently. So my mom is already called Gah. My grandma is called Great Gah. My nanny Phyllis is still nanny or great nanny. My only grandpa is still called Papa. My husbands dad is just grandpa. My step dad is Grampy. My dad has only met my nephew and niece once so he is still just grandpa as well. I have always liked Grammy. I think kids as they get to the talking stage will either automatically identify with what you have called your mom or they will create their own name. I knew my aunt's name was Stacy but it ended up going from Stacy to Tay Tee to Tete. She is still Tete.

BCIndychick · July 2015

Oh! Or Meme (mam- may) is French.

celainev · July 2015

My mom is 45 and deadset on being "Oma." In my opinion, I think that makes her sound very old... And we call her mother Oma so it might be confusing... But it's her dream so I let it be. My dad, however, does not want to be "Opa" and wants to be called "Paka" which is what he called his grandpa, and what I called my great grandfather. So again, in my opinion this makes him seem old. But it's his dream!! My MIL is "Nona", to her other grandchild which is a long story in itself, and her husband, my DH's stepfather, who we just call "Ross" ... Well we don't know what our kid will call him. They got married recently and calling him grandpa might sting my DH as his father passed away only 6 years ago... It's just a little sad my children won't have a "grandma" and "grandpa."

angetralala · July 2015

This is definitely a hot topic!

I called my mom's parents Nana and Poppy, as did my brother and my cousins. My dad's parents were Grandma and Grandpa, but we weren't close with them so I'm sure that had a lot to do with it.

My MIL is going to be Gigi because her name is Gail and I think G.G. for Grandma Gail is cute (of course I had to have my husband pitch the idea to her; if I had done it I doubt she would have been a fan!). My FIL passed away last year, but my MIL has been with her husband for 10 years so we may just call him Grandpa Vic, even though that will make my kids think they're related to him.

My parents haven't decided yet; we're all creative on my side so we're trying to come up with something cool. I'll keep you posted.

B-)

momotheflyinglemur · July 2015

I went online and found a website of Grandparent names! I intend to go to my mom with my favorite suggestion (grandma Mandy) but then also have a supplemental list of names that she can choose from because neither I nor SO will accept Sassy.

Here are some of the fun examples that I would take over, Sassy:

Mooma

Gangy (like Arrested Development)

Lula

Mayzie

Peaches

Mumpy

Boomie

Glam-ma (@jenichael217)

amcgeorge0921 · July 2015

I agree that Sassy would upset me a bit too. My MIL, who we don't have a relationship with really, already has a grandchild and picked the name G-momma which I thought was the stupidest sounding name. Well now the kid is 3 and can't pronounce "G" so was calling her um-momma and has now shortened it to just momma. It's going to be a huge issue when our LO gets here because there is absolutely no way I'm letting her get away with that!! She had her chance to be "momma" when she raised her kids, she's not taking that from me. It won't help that she's extremely immature, never takes responsibility or apologizes, and refers to herself as a princess at times.

MegStark · July 2015

My parents are Nana and Papa.

DH's on the other hand keep changing what they want to be called (DD will be 2 in October). She now calls my MIL Sassy (her real name is Sally). She wanted to be called Gammy at first but it wasn't sticking, and DD can say Sassy so i guess that's what we're going with. FIL is Grandpa. I put my foot down with him. MIL kept pushing Baba (instead of Grandpa) which sounds exactly like Papa coming out of a 1.5 year old's mouth. They're not around nearly as much as my parents because they live further, so I get that they also want her to see them and recognize/say their names, but forcing something we hate just because she can say it right now really pisses me off. Okay, rant over.

Anyway, I don't mind Sassy. We call her Grandma Sassy, but right now it's easier for DD to just say Sassy.

momotheflyinglemur · July 2015

@amcgeorge0921

"refers to herself as a princess at times" Yup, that sounds like my mother. hahaha I hope you can come up with a name that appeases all parties. I have my next OB appointment on Wednesday and I don't even know if I'll hear from my mom. We haven't talked since pretty early on in my first trimester, now I'm 16w.

mattkrisjones · July 2015

My mom was born and raised in Germany so she is 100% set on Oma so my dad doesn't want grandpa so he's Opa. This will be their first grandchild. My coworker has a "fancy" mom and she goes by Duchess and the dad goes by Duke. Very formal but works for them.

VesperLove · July 2015

My sister's kids call my mom Nannie and my dad Papa. Their other grandparents are also Nannie and Papa so once they are old enough they go by "Nannie Teri" and "Nannie Marg" and "Papa Glenn" and "Papa Roger". We will be using Nannie and Papa so it's consistent among the family.

On DH's side, his two nieces call his parents Mimi and Papi. We will be keeping those as well.

As for what you should do, I would decide what you want them to be called and use those. Your parents can want what they want but you are the one who is with the child 24/7 and if you are constantly calling them by certain names, that is what is going to stick with the child. And eventually (hopefully) you're mom will get the hint and stop pushing it.

Just my two cents.

MrsBwIVF · July 2015

What is everyone's opinion of having a grandma having different names?
My brother and his now wife had an oops baby 10 years ago and she didn't let me mother pick her nickname, and she just goes by Grandma (last name). My mom was hurt by it. I was thinking of letting her pick what she wants our kids to call her, same with DH's family. They already have 4 grandkids, 2 that talk already but I want to make sure they get to be called what they want.
When we were kids, we'd spend every Saturday at my grandparents house along with our cousin. He was a lot closer to them because his mom was a single mom and lived 7 blocks away. So he called our grandparents a different name than us and it never seemed to really cause any confusion.

yl1m32015 · July 2015

My parents will be Mimi and Papa. That's a tradition on my side and sentimental to me. Now my in laws...she's trying to find something crazy and cute, but I'm not calling her something out of the box. They are southern but absolutely refuse to be Mamaw and Papaw lol, it's a joke for us now. If they want Nana or Grammie that's fine, but I don't like Sassy.

MegStark · July 2015

@MrsBwIVF I think different names from different grandchildren is cool. I have 20 cousins on my dad's side of the family. You better believe we don't all call our grandparents the same exact thing.

MrsBwIVF · July 2015

Thanks @megstark!
We had 3 sets of grandparents growing up, ALLLLLLLLLLL were grandma and grandpa. We'd have to constantly say grandma Betty or grandma Barb to figure out who we were discussing.
It's still confusing with only two grandmas left when my mom calls and says, "well, grandma is in the hospital". Which one????
Our kids will have 3 sets of grandparents too so I'd REALLY like to have different names for each set. It'll save a lot of confusion.

taysun · July 2015

I think it also matters as to whether or not your grandparents are alive. Mine all are as well as a great grandfather so because of that my parents have a narrower selection as I don't want duplicates. Personally I don't like including the first name as I never did growing up. On BFs side, his siblings have kids who have established names for grandparents and greats that include first names which is fine since both BF and I call them by first names.

Rawr052992 · July 2015

my aunt and uncle have gran babies that call them Lolli & Pop

Rratledge · July 2015

Maybe your child will come up with a name? My oldest brother called my grandmother Bana because she always gave him bananas. Every time he saw her, he said, "Bana Bana." The name stuck, and now that's what most everyone, including her friends, call her.

JElizbetty · July 2015

My dad is italian so he's Nonno same as I grew up saying Nonno and Nonni for his parents, and my mom is Grandma; its what my daughter calls them. My husband's parents also want to be called Nonno and Nonna (thier first granchild) except they spell it differently since they are Croatian So Nono and Nona I can't complain to much because even though they are Croatian they are sticking to the Italian grandparent names, so I'm thankful for that.

Marchmellow2 · July 2015

My DS calls my Mom and Stepdad Mimi and Papa. My mom isn't young (Mid 60s) but for some weird reason she doesn't like the name Grandma very much. So Mimi it is. Eventually she might have to be Grandma Mimi. I don't know. I want my kids to understand that she is their grandma just like their other grandma.

Also, my young nephews call my mom grandma, so it's just weird that my boys have to call her Mimi. Makes no damn sense lol. So with that said you have to think about your other siblings too. Will their kids call her the same thing? I think they should all call her the same thing to avoid confusion. Talk to her about it. Remind her that there will be future grandchildren and will they have to use the same nickname too?

jessejasonbaby · July 2015

My mom is nanny or momma kat which was developed by the first lot of grandchildren.her mother was nana kay and so she naturally progressed as a nana. I dont remember which child took it to nanny. My dad is grandpa like his dad before him. My daughters other set of grandparents are nana and poppa which again was already in place by their first lot of grandchildren. I think people gravitate toward being called what their own parents were called by their own children.

amw2133 · July 2015

First grandchild on both sides so we are thinking about this as well. My MIL decided on Toots. Not a name I would have ever come up with and I have no clue where it came from. I don't really mind it so I'll go with it (although I giggle like a five year old when I think of our kid calling her that haha). I think FIL will be papa and I have no clue what my dad will want. I called my dads mom grandma Louise and his dad grandpa rusty (my dad is the 3rd so this was gp nickname). On my moms side it was papa Bob and grandma Ann (she was my step grandma but they were married before I was born and my moms mom passed away before I was born).
I'm with you no Sassy. Who knows though the kid might just end up picking their own name for her and then you would all be saved the trouble.

monaclemere · July 2015

I don't get why you care so much. If she wants to be called Sassy, just let her. I don't think it sounds bad. If it helps her adjust and enjoy being a grandparent, isn't that the most important thing? Your kid may come up with something totally different that everyone ends up using anyway.

I know grandparents called Honey, Peachy and Pretty Mom Mom. I think it's cute when people use something unexpected.

Court11152325 · July 2015

I'm jumping on the Mimi boat. My sister-in-law is 42 and became a grandmother last year and that's what she chose to be called. It's pretty young sounding, but also an appropriate grandmother type title.

khamilton2621 · July 2015

I wouldn't want my children calling my mother Sassy either. Maybe look into other languages from your heritage or ancestry? My parents will be Oma And Opa which are German for grandma and granpa. My Inlaws want to go by the unoriginal grandma and grandpa and refuse to have anything more cutesy.

It is so interesting to learn what peoe call their grandparents. Mine were so formal "grandma surname..."

VegetaElPrincipe · July 2015

What about Mama Mandy? My uncle's kids called both their grandmother's mama (insert name/nickname here). Maybe taking the grand out of grandma may help? I've heard of glam ma too. I don't care for that one, but to each their own. Just some suggestions, maybe with the LO arrives she will get a reality check and Grandma Mandy will be worn like a badge of honor. Don't panic, she will come around

redfallon · July 2015

Growing up I had Grandma and Grandpa (dad's parents) and Mima (mom's mom). My mom's dad died before any of his grandchildren were born. My great-grandparents on my mom's side were Momo [last name] and Popo [last name] and Momo [last name] and Bump (he was tall).

My sister's kids are 20 and 14. From them, we have Grandpa for my dad and Mima for my mother, and Papa Johnny for my stepdad. Although my mother says she doesn't like that because that's what her mother was called and she'd rather be Granny for my kids :-/

DH has his Granny and his Pawpaw (who died a couple of years ago). His mom is also Granny and his stepfather my DD came up with Pawpaw on her own even though he was calling himself Grandpa.

Your babies won't start calling them anything until they are close to 18 months old, so you have quite a while to think about it!

Mags128 · July 2015

My mom and stepdad are mormor (grandma in Swedish) and Pepe. My dad and stepmom are Grandpa and Grandma. DHs mom is Avo (Portuguese for grandma). We let each pick the name they wanted.

tralalablah · July 2015

Yaya is Greek, I think.

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