I totally get this. Tons of people are telling me their opinions on my top names without me asking it. My sister in law was the worst tho. She tore each idea I had apart and made me feel so guilty about even thinking about my names. And I don't even like her baby's name but I said nothing about it when she decided on the name because I thought that's what people were supposed to do!! I told her I love it and I embraced it.
Oh my gosh girl I can completely relate to this rant. We just found out we are having a boy last week. It was the absolute happiest moment of my life... Until we saw my father the next day. As soon as I walked in the door he began obnoxiously berating me with questions about the names we like saying things like he has to help narrow it down and he has to "veto" ones he doesn't like. Ummm excuse me? This is between me and my husband, no one else. And its not as if he had his own suggestions about names. No, it just had to be completely negative as if he expects us to give our baby a "weird" name or something. Then he leans into my sister and says "see, you don't have to worry, it sounds like they're picking normal names". And my sister says they were joking that I would name the baby something weird because I name my pets weird names...??? Like giving an animal an unusual name has anything to do with naming a child??? I guess they think I should name my son fluffy or mittens? I'm so sick of the negativity and I'm so sorry you're going thru the same. Idk what it is about seeing a pregnant woman that makes people think they can be rude and say whatever they want. You and your husband are the ones who have to say that name over and over for the rest of your lives. Its no one else's business!
I completely expected this because when my sister was pregnant with her son Asher, my dad and her actually got into a screaming match over it. My dad was under the impression that they were going to name the baby after my sisters FIL who passed away, but that was the name they were set on when she had her miscarriage between my niece and my nephew, so they moved it to being his middle name. Big sister stood her ground and my dad can't imagine my happy go lucky nephew being anything but Asher (which means happy). The names will grow on them, even if they negative now, they really will change their tune, it helped her to tell my parents what the name means and why she chose it, if the didn't like it, they could kiss her butt for all she cared. My niece was understood you don't mess with the name she was named after my sisters chorus director from college who passed away a few weeks before her wedding who was a second mom to her. We all knew she was Lucie if she was a girl before my sister even had a positive pregnancy test, there was no debate to it. For me, SO and I were set on a boys name Sebastian which my dad didn't care for (he wants a baby named after him, and thought I'd be the one to do it) but he learned from my sister don't mess with a pregnant daughter we will cut you off, and not speak to you until you behave. Finding a girls name was harder, my daughter who I miscarried was Elizabeth, his daughter is Elexis, so we wanted an "E" name, I originally wanted Emma, or Emmaline as it a family name, he said yes before I was pregnant, than said it doesn't suit the baby? Really because you already know lol. After tons of back and forths, we came up with Evangeline. My dad was a little hurt if we wanted an "E" name we didn't chose Elizabeth which was his grandmothers name, but it was what I was going to name the baby I lost, and what my sister gave my niece as a middle name to honor both of them. The name quickly grew on him, and everyone else seemed to luckily think it was traditional enough for my family, yet unique enough for his. We didn't give them much of a choice we just straight out went "her name is Evangeline Hope" helped my family that my 3 year old niece started calling it her baby cousin Evangeline. And she is the spoiled princess of the family, no one goes against her when she's set on something. She was convinced I was having a girl from 13 weeks, and looked at her mom like she had 3 heads when she told her Aunt Susi having a girl, she just goes mommy I know she's having Evangeline.
No matter what you chose your the parent, as long as it suits your's and your husband/SO/baby's fathers taste, they will get over it, don't let them sway your choice.
My sister didn't like the nickname we came up with for Evangeline of Eva, that we were willing to compromise on that and ask the family of they liked "Evie" as a nickname better, that they felt like they were involved but didn't change my choice of name. Her reasons behind the dislike of Eva were big enough for me to change her nickname, although she will be a living and breathing child and she will pick what she prefers to be called from her name.
Makes u feel any better I'm having a boy and really want to name him Jayden Mathew and no one but me likes it and it's annoying and plus the dad isn't really in the picture so I'm on my own with naming and no one likes the names I like
We aren't telling anyone either and it is for this very reason! My sister is so angry with us, for not telling her in advance, because she claims she wouldn't say anything bad about the names... But I just don't want to deal with it and I also want something special that just we know. Once the baby is named, no one can say anything bad about the name!
Also I think Ronan and Benjamin are lovely names. No reason not to go with one of them!
This is why we aren't going to reveal the name until our baby is born. We've told people this and still we get name suggestions and questions about our name list all the time. It probably shouldn't make me as mad as it does, but I hate hearing suggestions from other people because 90% of the time I hate the names, but I don't want to be rude about it.
So, backstory: I have a half-sister (same mom) and she has a half-sister (same dad, same maiden name).
When my sister's sister was pregnant with her first, they told no one the sex/gender nor the name until after she was born. This drove my sister insane. When my sister's sister was pregnant with her second, my sister also became pregnant. Before my sister found out the gender of her baby, her sister found out the gender of hers and announced that it was a boy and they were naming him her maiden name (also my sister's maiden name). My sister had wanted to do the same but then wouldn't/couldn't because she didn't want cousins to have the same name.
They live in different states and see each other maybe once a year, if that. I kind of think she should have used the name if she liked it and not been cheated out of it by her sister. In the end, the name is now super trendy for younger kids (their kids are now 11) so maybe it all worked out.
Can't agree more then to keep it to yourselves until the baby is born. Everyone has an opinion. I was told I needed to name my baby an Italian name because my husband is Italian. I'm not Italian at all and don't care for most Italian names.
I think BM is a medical abbrevation I have never noticed it being used outside of that context. I don't know that I would worry about that, unless most of your kids classmates parents will be medical providers--I don't see most kids knowing that abbreviation. My intials were TB prior to marriage (the abbreviation of tuberoculosis...) I think I am the only person who ever noticed!
I think this is part of why a lot of people choose not to share the name until the birth because at that point it's too late and people just need to deal with it unless they want to be completely rude and talk crap about the name to the new mom. I don't personally know anyone that's a big enough a$$hat to do that, but you never know. As hard as it is, try not to let them get to you. You're damned if you do, damned if you don't when it comes to names because someone somewhere will always find something wrong with it...it's too common, it's too hipster, it's too religious, it's not religious enough, it's the same name of a celebrity that OD'd 50 years ago so bad vibes, it rhymes with something and kids will pick on him for life all because you named him blankety blank. There is no pleasing everyone so you've got to please yourself and your DH, end of story. Unless you want to name him something ridiculous like Banana, I'm sure you'll pick out a great name. (Benjamin does count among great names by the way)
If you want to share names, remember you opened yourself to opinions if your decision wasn't already final. If you've chosen and decide to share, make it clear it's definite.
We have a very common last name and hubby and I both dealt with having common first names so we choose ones that are uncommon. With our son we had chosen his name before conception so their was no question. We got weird looks but everyone adjusted and now agree that it completely fits him.
This time, my mom was told first and as soon as she sees the weird looks she genuinely promises everyone that they grow on you. She's picky with names and loved our choices once I explained origins and meaning and why we chose them. The girl middle name is partly after her so why would she complain? Lol!
Sometimes it's entertaining to turn negative opinions back on people. Son's name is Dexter. The immediate comment most people make is "oh, like the serial killer?" "Or...like the cartoon Dexter's Lab". The cartoon is honestly whereally the idea stemmed from and his middle name came from a joke in a webcomic. My grandmother couldn't wrap her mind around his middle name until her pastor told her of it's origin in the bible. Simply having someone recognize it made it better and she's not about to argue against a biblical name. Other people get the Star Trek reference.
Just pick a name and own it and don't let whatever comments get to you.
Just tell everyone a ridiculous name. My husband and I are big into star wars so we have been telling people we will be naming him Han Solo (obviously we arent). It usually gets people to shush up!
We've told people we have a long list, even though we know her name. You wouldn't believe the people that say, well what's on this list?! Yes, person I kinda know, I am going to go through a list with you and let you name my child. People are interesting....
Re: Baby names rant
No matter what you chose your the parent, as long as it suits your's and your husband/SO/baby's fathers taste, they will get over it, don't let them sway your choice.
My sister didn't like the nickname we came up with for Evangeline of Eva, that we were willing to compromise on that and ask the family of they liked "Evie" as a nickname better, that they felt like they were involved but didn't change my choice of name. Her reasons behind the dislike of Eva were big enough for me to change her nickname, although she will be a living and breathing child and she will pick what she prefers to be called from her name.
Also I think Ronan and Benjamin are lovely names. No reason not to go with one of them!
When my sister's sister was pregnant with her first, they told no one the sex/gender nor the name until after she was born. This drove my sister insane. When my sister's sister was pregnant with her second, my sister also became pregnant. Before my sister found out the gender of her baby, her sister found out the gender of hers and announced that it was a boy and they were naming him her maiden name (also my sister's maiden name). My sister had wanted to do the same but then wouldn't/couldn't because she didn't want cousins to have the same name.
They live in different states and see each other maybe once a year, if that. I kind of think she should have used the name if she liked it and not been cheated out of it by her sister. In the end, the name is now super trendy for younger kids (their kids are now 11) so maybe it all worked out.
If you want to share names, remember you opened yourself to opinions if your decision wasn't already final. If you've chosen and decide to share, make it clear it's definite.
We have a very common last name and hubby and I both dealt with having common first names so we choose ones that are uncommon. With our son we had chosen his name before conception so their was no question. We got weird looks but everyone adjusted and now agree that it completely fits him.
This time, my mom was told first and as soon as she sees the weird looks she genuinely promises everyone that they grow on you. She's picky with names and loved our choices once I explained origins and meaning and why we chose them. The girl middle name is partly after her so why would she complain? Lol!
Sometimes it's entertaining to turn negative opinions back on people. Son's name is Dexter. The immediate comment most people make is "oh, like the serial killer?" "Or...like the cartoon Dexter's Lab". The cartoon is honestly whereally the idea stemmed from and his middle name came from a joke in a webcomic. My grandmother couldn't wrap her mind around his middle name until her pastor told her of it's origin in the bible. Simply having someone recognize it made it better and she's not about to argue against a biblical name. Other people get the Star Trek reference.
Just pick a name and own it and don't let whatever comments get to you.