What ever happened to congratulations?

toorahloorah · July 2015

Our DD is almost a year and she and future baby will be almost exactly 18 months apart. I didn't think that was an insane age difference. My mothers response when I told her was "are you out of your mind?" My mother in laws was "you're kidding me, right?" And one of my close girlfriends asked if it was an accident.

What ever happened to saying congrats? :-/

HBirdie · July 2015

That's so rude!

moomee · July 2015

Wow. I'm not sure that I would have been able to bite my tongue.

wisco29 · July 2015

Wow that is so rude! Did you have a good come back?

I see my mom's side not being pleased only because she said once that just one was fine and then at Easter my gma said after we got a whole family pic which never happens that no one can have any more kids.

MississippiCatfish · July 2015

People are idiots.

g8trkim · July 2015

MIL said, "Oh... we're you trying?" She's a gem.

pai314 · July 2015

I got a "as sad as it is the second ones never as big a deal as the first". People suck.

TexasMom7137 · July 2015

Yep, people suck. So sorry OP. We are expecting a similar reaction. DC4 will come 17 months after we had DS3.

twinmom1121 · July 2015

When we told my DHs grandparents who he's pretty close to they responded with "well it's your life..." And "we thought one was good.." We already have twins so we never had "just one!" I was like wow... They're pretty old and only had one kid but I was like gee thanks.. Why can't people just say wow congrats!

starsinnight · July 2015

Yeah I have gotten a huge range of responses so far! My favorite being my BFF who squealed with joy to my brothers "wait.... What? Were you even trying?" Yeah for 9 months!! But I'm not going to share my ttc details with my bro lol I'm also expecting the worst response from my father which I keep putting off telling him. I'm almost 30 but in his eyes, I'm still the baby and shouldn't be having babies. I know it's like ripping a bandaid off and I'm definitely not going to get a congrats! But I can promise you, from now on, I'm sure we will all be more conscious & congratulatory when others share their baby news with us in the future!!

VitaLuna · July 2015

My daughter is almost two and FIL (when he saw LOs big sister shirt) said to DH, "she's not pregnant AGAIN, is she?!?". Uhhh, what??

C3Duffy · July 2015

My aunt when she found out about my son (he and his sister are 18months apart) "I don't know what to think about you guys" ... um... thanks... I know what to think about you that's for sure.

marissajc · July 2015

My sister and I were almost exactly 18 months apart and I feel like that was the perfect gap! Just smile and say they needed a playmate, don't let their tactlessness ruin your joy!

ARogers26 · July 2015

Everyone has been happy so far but... We will see. I also basically told everyone last pregnancy I wanted to try again as soon as dr would let me.

Ps when people asked us about trying I always said the word sex in the answer. It makes people cringe (most of the time) with realization of inappropriateness.

CONGRATS to you!! We will have a 19 month age gap almost to the day.

ccolekelly · July 2015

Unfortunately people have terrible filters. My MIL has a way of always saying the wrong thing, mostly because she's a worrier, so we knew we would have to just ignore the first thing out of her mouth when we told her. Doesn't mean I was ready for the "Ohhh no, not yet!" during her hug. Just can't let it ruin your excitement!

AmadorRose · July 2015

ARogers26 said:
Everyone has been happy so far but... We will see. I also basically told everyone last pregnancy I wanted to try again as soon as dr would let me.

Ps when people asked us about trying I always said the word sex in the answer. It makes people cringe (most of the time) with realization of inappropriateness.

CONGRATS to you!! We will have a 19 month age gap almost to the day.

My kinda gal! I'm stealing this and using it shamelessly.

lauren0571 · July 2015

When we told my dad that we were pregnant with our first he said "oh....that's good...I guess." When we told him this time he was pretty indifferent. My mom the other hand is always over the top excited. So I guess they kind of balance each other out?
Sorry you had to deal with such a negative response to your good news.

mtkbaby · July 2015

My parents were very excited when we told them, they are the opposite side of this, always saying how they are ready to be grandparents. My dad was the worst! When we told him he shook my husband's hand and said, "thank you". In the car on the way home my husband said, "Your dad thanked me for having sex with his daughter". Haha!

Congratulations to all of you! I don't think people realize how rude their comments can be.

FunnyGal18 · July 2015

You never know what people are going to say. As long as you are good with it.

FunnyGal18 · July 2015

baby0708 · July 2015

Wow, I hope you had a good come back comment for them. Well I would like to tell you Congrats and that it is wonderful news the you are expecting your second! Having siblings so close in age will be awesome when they are older!

DaisyTortilla · July 2015

I got this response with everyone of my pregnancies never got a congrats from family. My mom was actually legit mad at me, she didn't talk to me for weeks! Mind you I am married and my DH has a good job. She is just insane!

bbax44 · July 2015

dbautista88 said:
I got this response with everyone of my pregnancies never got a congrats from family. My mom was actually legit mad at me, she didn't talk to me for weeks! Mind you I am married and my DH has a good job. She is just insane!

I just went through this, granted we aren't married quite yet but still, he has a good job... not talking to me for like 2 weeks is a little ridiculous

minivanmafia · July 2015

I totally get it. I already have my snappy combats just about cocked and loaded since this will be #3 for DH and I and #5 for him.
Family took it just fine, thankfully. The first thing that came out of his mothers mouth is "I bets its a girl!" Though we laughed and said yeah right. We have 4 boys.

g0lightly8706 · July 2015

my grandmother is never one to jump up and down in excitement so i knew she'd be pretty underwhelmed by it. I just had to laugh it off when i told her about the ultrasound and a nice healthy heartbeat and she said "oh, so you really are pregnant?" yeah grandmother, as if the all day nausea, fatigue, countless positive tests, and missed period for 2 months wasn't proof enough, i am definitely pregnant.

thats the worst of what i've gotten though.. so sorry you all have those pessimistic ones you have to deal with!

Twindling · July 2015

When we found out we were having twins we got "OMG.....what are you going to do?"

Apparently, we'll have to sell one because twins simply cannot be handled.

bamcity1023 · July 2015

My MIL response was "Oh no, not again...I hope it's twins". We have 2 kids already...how sweet of her. My FIL I get a text saying I am messing up his Christmas gift to my MIL. He got her a grandmother's ring with EVERYONE's birthstones. I have wonderful in-laws.

minivanmafia · July 2015

bamcity1023 said:

My MIL response was "Oh no, not again...I hope it's twins". We have 2 kids already...how sweet of her. My FIL I get a text saying I am messing up his Christmas gift to my MIL. He got her a grandmother's ring with EVERYONE's birthstones. I have wonderful in-laws.

I hope he was joking,
(:|

DaisyTortilla · July 2015

bbax44 said:

dbautista88 said:
I got this response with everyone of my pregnancies never got a congrats from family. My mom was actually legit mad at me, she didn't talk to me for weeks! Mind you I am married and my DH has a good job. She is just insane!
I just went through this, granted we aren't married quite yet but still, he has a good job... not talking to me for like 2 weeks is a little ridiculous

Yes! I thought it was ridiculous as well. I think itnwas just another way of control or abuse. It always has to be about her.

bbax44 · July 2015

dbautista88 said:

bbax44 said:

dbautista88 said:
I got this response with everyone of my pregnancies never got a congrats from family. My mom was actually legit mad at me, she didn't talk to me for weeks! Mind you I am married and my DH has a good job. She is just insane!
I just went through this, granted we aren't married quite yet but still, he has a good job... not talking to me for like 2 weeks is a little ridiculous
Yes! I thought it was ridiculous as well. I think itnwas just another way of control or abuse. It always has to be about her.

Are our moms related!? They sound like the same person..

HBirdie · July 2015

We got good reactions this time (although we got a lot of "I knew it!" Which irks me because NO YOU DIDN'T and way to take the fun out of an announcement)... Last time when we told MIL she just blinked and said, "What?!" And not in a good way. Maybe because we had only been married a few months. It took her awhile to get happy about it. She also asked us if it was on purpose. Such a rude question. Basically "So were you having unprotected sex or what?"

txbrideinblue · July 2015

My least fave reaction is when people say "The cat's finally out of the bag!" Or "now I don't have to keep a secret anymore!" Like they're bragging to everyone that they were in the inner circle and knew before everyone else did. So obnoxious.

twinmom1121 · July 2015

HBirdie said:

We got good reactions this time (although we got a lot of "I knew it!" Which irks me because NO YOU DIDN'T and way to take the fun out of an announcement)... Last time when we told MIL she just blinked and said, "What?!" And not in a good way. Maybe because we had only been married a few months. It took her awhile to get happy about it. She also asked us if it was on purpose. Such a rude question. Basically "So were you having unprotected sex or what?"

Everyone we have told so far said 'I knew it!!!" which is weird because we didn't tell anyone we were trying... I'm just like how did you know??? Kinda weird.

Sprinkles07 · July 2015

misspai66 said:

I got a "as sad as it is the second ones never as big a deal as the first". People suck.

I don't get this. I think every baby is just as exciting and it makes me a little mad that people think this. To OP I can't believe they would say that to you! Awful.

ecmb · July 2015

FWIW, my sister and I are exactly 18 months apart and we loved growing up that close in age! Still best friends too

Screw them and congrats!

bamcity1023 · July 2015

TheBeggsBunch said:

bamcity1023 said:

My MIL response was "Oh no, not again...I hope it's twins". We have 2 kids already...how sweet of her. My FIL I get a text saying I am messing up his Christmas gift to my MIL. He got her a grandmother's ring with EVERYONE's birthstones. I have wonderful in-laws.

I hope he was joking,
(:|

He was half joking half being serious. He is not my biggest fan, nor is he mine.

Bracecurran · July 2015

With my DD - I was terrified to tell my mom and she didn't take the news well. I was 26 and unmarried but with my guy for about 5 years. This time I told her she was happy and didn't ask if we were getting married

My MIL was a total "B" this time around and asked my fiancé if he "was happy about it"? Umm, what? I mean I totally have trapped him for 7 years.. Not!!! How was this not expected as our DD is almost 3 years old? My brother in law took 20 mins to finally say congrats too this time.

Some people are rude and very judgmental. Take it with a grain of salt and try to just not let it burst the YAY bubble.
BTW none of our family knows yet but we are getting married before this baby comes. Not because we feel we have to but after 7 years were clearly not going anywhere and it's time

moo29390 · July 2015

.

DaisyTortilla · July 2015

bbax44 said:

dbautista88 said:

bbax44 said:

dbautista88 said:
I got this response with everyone of my pregnancies never got a congrats from family. My mom was actually legit mad at me, she didn't talk to me for weeks! Mind you I am married and my DH has a good job. She is just insane!
I just went through this, granted we aren't married quite yet but still, he has a good job... not talking to me for like 2 weeks is a little ridiculous
Yes! I thought it was ridiculous as well. I think itnwas just another way of control or abuse. It always has to be about her.

Are our moms related!? They sound like the same person..

Oh god....I hope your mom wasn't like mine was and is. If so, then you've endured a very tough life. At least you have us here for support! Moms can be very difficult but the way I decide to make a difference is by not falling into her cycle. My children will have a better life.

HBirdie · July 2015

marie8elise said:

HBirdie said:

We got good reactions this time (although we got a lot of "I knew it!" Which irks me because NO YOU DIDN'T and way to take the fun out of an announcement)... Last time when we told MIL she just blinked and said, "What?!" And not in a good way. Maybe because we had only been married a few months. It took her awhile to get happy about it. She also asked us if it was on purpose. Such a rude question. Basically "So were you having unprotected sex or what?"

Everyone we have told so far said 'I knew it!!!" which is weird because we didn't tell anyone we were trying... I'm just like how did you know??? Kinda weird.

Exactly! Wtf? MIL, DH's aunt, and two friends have said they just KNEW it. Um, it was our first month trying, which no one knew, and in MIL's case, I hadn't even seen her since before I got pregnant. Soooo how exactly did she know? Oh yeah, she didn't. She just wanted to involve herself or something.
It irritates me.

bbax44 · July 2015

dbautista88 said:

bbax44 said:

dbautista88 said:

bbax44 said:

dbautista88 said:
I got this response with everyone of my pregnancies never got a congrats from family. My mom was actually legit mad at me, she didn't talk to me for weeks! Mind you I am married and my DH has a good job. She is just insane!
I just went through this, granted we aren't married quite yet but still, he has a good job... not talking to me for like 2 weeks is a little ridiculous
Yes! I thought it was ridiculous as well. I think itnwas just another way of control or abuse. It always has to be about her.

Are our moms related!? They sound like the same person..
Oh god....I hope your mom wasn't like mine was and is. If so, then you've endured a very tough life. At least you have us here for support! Moms can be very difficult but the way I decide to make a difference is by not falling into her cycle. My children will have a better life.

It hasn't been the greatest time, that's for sure! I'm glad someone knows what it's like. I do agree with you about making a difference

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