Our hospital says they keep you 2-3 days if vaginal birth and 4-5 days if c-section. So I figure he will leave for at least some time, but I hope not the first night. I had back surgery a few years ago and he said he was going to leave ahead of time, but when it actually got here, he stayed the whole time. He only left if someone else were with me. That was only one night in the hospital, maybe 2 though. So this will be longer, so I expect him to leave at least for a bit.
With our first, DH stayed through the day. But when I took one look at him trying to curl up on that pull out couch (he is 6'6", and those pull outs are not made for anyone over 6') I suggested that he go home. I new I would only get a little sleep in a sterile environment, so one of us needed to be able to function the next day. We live within 10 mins of the hospital, and he was back the second they opened the doors for visitors.
This time around we will be going through a birthing center, so once baby and I are cleared to go and cleaned up we will all head for home together. No time apart.
Joey 06.05.2010, MC Jan 2014-EDD 09.11.2014, Aurelia 08.24.2015 (lost twin ~12 weeks), Ectopic Loss Feb 2016, EDD 01.03.2018
Even if I wanted him to (which I dont) my boyfriend wouldn't go home for longer than an hour once our son is here. This is his first baby and I know he wouldn't want to miss anything. He may leave during the day to shower and take the dog out and bring my kids to see their brother but at night he will want to be where me and the baby are.
I sent DH back to work the first days with #1 since baby was in the NICU, my recovery was going well, and I wanted him to save his days for when #1 actually came home. He would come after work to bond, and go home at night.
With #2, he hung out for awhile and then went home to check up on our firstborn. He was there off and on over the hospital stay, but slept at home at night. I personally think that at least one of us needed to be well rested and thought the idea of him sleeping on a makeshift bed in the hospital room as opposed to our bed at home ten minutes away was ridiculous. They will bond, I promise!
I haven't really seen this here, just a general musing... I just don't get the whole "if I suffered, you have to suffer" mentality. I might be weird though. I have the same philosophy when we come home -- at nights, the three of us start out the night in our room (bassinet), and after the first waking, I take the baby to bf in our loft and leave DH to sleep. He gets about six-seven straight hours and after about that time, I come back to the room and he gets up for one bottle feeding before work, so I get about three-four straight hours as well. That way we both get a solid stretch, and yet, no one is completely off the hook
This 100%. The mentality that everything has to be 50/50, "if I'm stuck in the hospital then you should be too", "if I'm up to nurse you should wake up to help me", drives me insane. It's going to be futile to try to make things perfectly equal with a baby, and not only that, if you want your husband to "take care of you" then you need to make sure you're also taking care of him.
Re: Husbands after the birth
I had back surgery a few years ago and he said he was going to leave ahead of time, but when it actually got here, he stayed the whole time. He only left if someone else were with me. That was only one night in the hospital, maybe 2 though. So this will be longer, so I expect him to leave at least for a bit.
This time around we will be going through a birthing center, so once baby and I are cleared to go and cleaned up we will all head for home together. No time apart.