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October 2015 Moms
MrsN092714
member
"Huge"
MrsN092714
member
Having a bit of a tough time with this word this week. People seem to throw it around like it has no effect. I will admit that over the last few weeks I have definitely rounded out and popped some more but I don't think I'm huge. Am I wrong in thinking that while pregnant growing is the norm? I went into my office for the first time in a few weeks where it seemed everyone had something to say. One of my best friends asked for a belly pic so I sent her one to which she told me I was huge and the. Went on about how there has gotta be two in there and it's completely possible the ultrasound people missed the twin all 3 ultrasounds.... Yea, right. Then she told me she showed another one of her friends, said photo (this girl just had a baby less than a month ago) and told me that she said she couldn't believe that I was only 22 weeks in that pic, I was way to big. I sent my dad the same pic (and I know he didn't try to be hurtful) but he responded with "your going to be enormous!" Then tonight, my MIL, who I haven't seen in 2 weeks went all wide eyed when I walked in and went on and on about how huge I was. I told her the exact same thing I told my own father.... 'Let's try that again with a comment like, you look great, your all belly, you are sure popping..." She apologized, said it came out wrong then 5 mins later went on to tell me that I already look like I'm 7 months along. Wtf?
I asked my husband if I did, he said I look great then said 'funny how it's said that men aren't sensitive towards pregnant women and yet it's always other ladies that seem to throw out these off side comments'.... All to true. I am so thankful for him, even if he is thinking it he knows what not to say! This is only a few of these little things that have been said this week. I'm having a hard enough time wrapping my head around how much my body is changing and the raging hormones don't help. I've been able to brush off each of these comments as they happen but they sure build up. I'm attaching a photo from today because I don't think I'm huge. I'm not looking for compliments I just really needed to vent and by showing a pic I might feel less like holing up and just taking pride in my body. I'm growing a life, it's not easy....
I hope that you are all feeling beautiful and have someone around you to remind you that you are. Your not huge, your growing a baby!
Married:09/27/14
Baby N-Born:10/29/15
Our Angel: EDD: 05/11/17. MC at 6 weeks
Baby #2- EDD: 07/18/17
Our Angel: EDD: 05/11/17. MC at 6 weeks
Baby #2- EDD: 07/18/17
Re: "Huge"
I know there have also been threads on here of ladies feeling badly about themselves because they haven't popped yet and "no one can tell they are pregnant." So I guess we can always find a way to feel like our body is not "right" or normal" especially when people make rude comments either way. I think if your Dr thinks all is well, then it is. And other people can shove it!
There is a significant amount of deviation in how our bumps look because our bodies are shaped differently, with different proportions, with uteruses positioned differently, with more or less muscle or "cushioning" in different places on our bellies or otherwise, different muscle tone, and different rates of growth of our babies at particular stages, besides differing rates of when we gain what pregnancy weight (especially the maternal fat stores part, and water retention). That is a LOT of variation. I look bigger at 23 weeks than many women on here do who are a week or two behind me. But there are so many possible reasons for it. We cannot help people comparing us. They would be wiser to not, for all the reasons I said. Women look different pregnant at different stages, and if people don't leave room for that in their comments, they aren't aware of the reasons for variation or aren't thinking when they speak.
When we get to be 7-9 months, many people may see the "huge" word as even more applicable! And at that point, it may be objectively true. I may call myself that. We see and experience gradual growth; others may see milestones. I think we may hear "you're fat" when we here that. Pregnancy and being fat are different! "Huge" in pregnancy = your belly looks like that baby is ready to come! Of course, it's still not the word many of us will be comfortable hearing. We can brush it off or kindly ask for a rephrase and teach a little sensivity and understanding!
Edited to add: I think you look cute. Your bump looks alot like my bump.
I don't find these comments rude because half the people who say them aren't being malicious about it. It's when you are trying to be mean that it is rude.
One thing that annoys the ever living crap out of me is when people try and tell a pregnant person that they shouldn't eat something or should really watch their weight- you can have that freaking brownie, just not the whole pan.
*clearly this is a button for me
And if you are huge I'm huge right there with you! High five
And just so you know, I do not think you are huge. I think you are rocking that bump and it looks so good! Whoever said you were "way too big to be 22 weeks" may have carried different. No shame. You sport that little one loud and proud and don't let anyone rain on your parade!!
I had a few incidents of this a few weeks ago and it hit me pretty hard. My husband could tell I was struggling pretty hard and noted that to all those people I seemed "huge" since the last time they saw me. When he reminded me that to them it was happening fast but I was seeing the gradual change it put it in to better perspective.
Then some people are just miserable, insensitive assholes
Funny how women who have been through pregnancy forget how it was when they were pregnant!
I have been spared the rude comments this time around (at least thus far), but with my son, I got the "you're huge!" comments a lot. These comments really bothered me, even coming from strangers, because I knew I WAS huge, because I've struggled with my weight for a long time, and I gained a lot during pregnancy.
I know we shouldn't let these comments get to us, but when you live in a culture where we're bombarded with the message that we need to be thin, being told "you're huge!" comes across the wrong way. You'd think women would think twice about commenting on another woman's weight or size, but I guess not.
Our Angel: EDD: 05/11/17. MC at 6 weeks
Baby #2- EDD: 07/18/17
I would respond to those people with the comment "Yeah, well I'm pregnant. What's your excuse?" Then walk away.