Sorry it's a little long. Maybe a bit of a rant also.
Is there anyone else that is experiencing extreme anxiety related to delivering vaginally? I'm not meaning scared of the birth process and labour and that. When I think about delivering natural I get instantly stressed, anxious, worried. I don't want anything to do with it. I feel horrible saying this but although I want my baby safe, I find myself wishing I had a medical reason for it. but really the idea it makes me dread the idea of having a baby.
However, when I think about delivering via a c-section I get excited to see the baby, I get excited about all baby things. Otherwise I even avoid thinking about it. I'm aware of all of the pros about delivering vaginally, I can't seem to shake it. I don't have a choice in the matter either, elective c sections are not ok here. And at 32+3 my baby's already in the head down position ready to go (as the ultrasound shows). I know she could turn. But probably won't, I hate thinking that I will spend the rest of my preg hoping she will.
Anyone else feel this way? In a similar situation before? Advice? X_X
Re: Fears? No judgement please
I honestly can say that every women I have spoke to that has had both vaginal and C-section and they all say the same thing...they would have a vaginal birth over a C-section. I was talking to a few of my family members during my shower on Saturday about this very subject. My aunt said to me, with her C-section she longed for that feeling of pushing out the baby, and seeing it attached to the cord, being put right on her chest the second my cousin was born, and how much of a rush of happiness went through her during that time and how she bonded with her immediately. With her second, her son, she had a C-section and she said very opposite things. She told me the setting was cold, and she was very separated physically and mentally . Her arms were strapped down on either side of her. She hated not being able to see anything, and not be able to hold the baby after birth. She said the healing process was very, very painful with her C-section where she could not bend, pick him up, get comfortable enough to even breastfeed. With her vaginal birth, although it was obviously painful to deliver, the pain was gone within a few days. She looked right at me and said, if you don't absolutely NEED a C-section, nobody should ever get one.
I too am afraid of the pain that will come with labor. (FTM and i'm human) but I also know that as corny as it sounds, its true...we were meant to do this. the pain will eventually go away. It will not be forever. And all that pain evaporates the second you see your baby for the first time and he/she is placed in your arms. Those are the things you should focus on. Keep thinking of all the positives of giving birth vaginally. You will be just fine.
Can you be more specific about what it is about a vaginal birth that upsets you? If you can get to the heart of your anxiety that might be step one to overcoming it.
Anyway, relax. Being nervous/scared is normal.
I haven't done a vaginal birth yet and I'm cautiously excited to see what my body does and to hopefully experience a recovery that isnt surgical. Also because I wanted more support I did hire a doula to help me through. I'd rather outsource labor support to a professional than to expect my DH to know those things. A doula might be able to sit down and calm some of your anxieties specifically.
Do a birthing class at your hospital / that may help some and talk to your ob as well. Good luck!!!
Gulimz I went through nursing school and thought the exact same thing maybe that's where my reasoning lies as well. The vaginal process seems so much more unplanned and scary to me. Things change unexpectedly and I like to plan. Also after being taught 4 years in nursing school that the patient always gets a CHOICE in their care and that it is the first priority, and to not have this option now that I'm the patient is rather unsettling.
It is a relief to see that many of you have the same fear of vag birth- or the same fear with having a section even. Reading your comments are making me a little less nervous. I guess I'm just upset that I don't have control over this.
TTC#1 for 19 months with PCOS and MFI IUI#3 + injectables = BFP!!!! Beta#1-134(13dpiui) Beta #2-392(15dpiui)
#1 born December 2011
TTC#2 - Beta #1 -51@10dpo Beta#2 -1353 @16dpo
#2 born May 2013
TTC # 3 June 2014 BFP 12-1-14
#3 born August 2015
#4!!!!!!! due June 2017
pregnant after round 2 of IVF. Transferred 2 embryos and (surprise!) was pregnant with triplets. Identicals passed at 8 and 10 weeks. Still have one healthy baby boy with EDD of July 30!
To alleviate some of the anxiety of not being able to predict or control I just try to focus on the parts of having my daughter here that I'm excited about. I try to tell myself there is no point in worrying about the things I can't control, and think about something else.
I just keep thinking that no matter what, it only lasts so long. And as far as vaginal vs c-section, I just want my baby. Whatever is best for her.
The recovery is so long.
I'm unable to have a VBAC this time around bc I'm not a good candidate and now I'm high risk.
DS was born via c/s since he was breech and my doctor was not comfortable with a breech vaginal delivery. DD2 was VBAC turned c/s due to fetal distress after 12 hours of labor and over an hour of pushing. Recovery from my first c/s was hellish and left me 1 and done for almost a year. My second recovery was much easier but I'm still hoping for a shot at VBA2C. I can see how, during the moment, that c/s seem a better route (generally routine, know what to expect, not visibly in pain, etc.) but you are not seeing the aftermath. Generally the recovery from a vaginal delivery is quicker and easier. C/s recoveries, while they can be easy for some, are still going to take longer and leave you with more restrictions while recovering. After 2 c/s I am truly hoping and praying that I can deliver vaginally this time.
For myself, hypnobirthing and prenatal yoga have done wonders in calming some of my anxieties and reminding me of the strength I have to get me through this.