Dad's at work 24/7

mswaltonj · June 2015

feeling like I am an only parent and having daily struggles with keeping up with everything

mswaltonj · June 2015

I am starting to get really grouchy and stressed with my partner as I feel like I am the sole carer for my little one of 8weeks, he works from 8am - 10pm most days meaning he cannot do any night shifts or days, I don't have no family or friends that can help me out with the little one and it's really getting on top of me x

RSupry · June 2015

You are definitely not the only one who feels that way. My husband started a new position two weeks after our son was born. They are short handed so he has been working tons of hours to try to get a handle on the new responsibilities. We have a 19 month old boy too and our new boy is 10 weeks today. It is difficult when your husband works so much that some days you feel like a single parent. Some days the only thing I can do is take care of the kids, no time for cleaning or cooking.

Don't have any friends or family that will help me out either but I'm glad I don't have to go to work everyday and leave my baby with someone else. I'm sure your husband hates not being able to spend time with you too.

coriej4110 · June 2015

I'm in the same boat with you. My husband works 12hr shifts 3-5 days a week (depending on overtime). Although I'm extremely grateful for his hard work to allow me to be able to stay home with our 12 week son, most days I'm resentful. The days he works, he doesn't do a single thing with our son. He may talk to him for a min or two but then is busy "relaxing" and goes to bed extremely early. His days off, he has to be told to help take care of him or even stay home instead of going out to do one of his many hobbies. I'm at my breaking point in trying to get him to be a decent father, let alone a mediocre husband.

mswaltonj · June 2015

So glad I'm not alone x

mswaltonj · June 2015

Yeh I have to force my partner to be involved he would rather sit and watch TV on his days off or time at home he doesn't pay much attention to her at all it's really disappointing if I wanted to do this alone I'd have got a sperm dona

thubler25 · June 2015

My significant other "thinks" he's doing a good job at being around. He works 5 days a week and sometimes overtime so i can stay at home with my little who will be 8 weeks on Wednesday. It feels like a chore to get him to do anything. Ask him to watch him while I jump in the shower and all he does it sits on his phone and doesn't interact with our son. He gets frustrated when he crys and immediately hands him to me and claims "he doesn't like me" well maybe if you tried a little harder.

I'm in the same boat and at times its overwhelming and very frustrating. I have some help but not as much as I would like.

alissapalooza · June 2015

thubler25 said:
Ask him to watch him while I jump in the shower and all he does it sits on his phone and doesn't interact with our son. He gets frustrated when he crys and immediately hands him to me and claims "he doesn't like me" well maybe if you tried a little harder.

My boyfriend does that same thing. I get so mad. I've been with her all day. I ask him to hold her for a couple of minutes while I do something and he will immediately give her back to me once she starts fussing. Now I just tell him to figure it out. I've showed him all the different ways to calm her down but he just says "she doesn't like me". Biggest load of BS I've ever heard.

mswaltonj · June 2015

What can we do to change this it's obviously something most men don't like doing x

coriej4110 · June 2015

My husband too! Our son has a heart condition and stops breathing, so he tries to use that as an excuse (it scares him, like it doesn't scare me too??) When I asked my husband to watch our son today while I jumped in the shower, his reply was "didn't you shower yesterday?" lol really??

sexygaly27 · June 2015

I am glad I am not alone I'm having a lot of the same issues you ladies are. Just last night I have a conversation with my partner about not spending time with our daughter. He gets home to take eat take a shower and sleep. He works hard and is constantly tired but taking care of the baby is tiring too. He goes to sleep early and barely spends time with the baby. And I go back to work in two weeks so I'm afraid of what's going to happen when I go back to work.

mswaltonj · June 2015

Sexygaly27 do u have a child minder or is it a family member if family at least she will have someone that will pay her plenty of attention. As for the dad I am stuck too lv x

foresk · July 2015

My husband was like that too but you know what, ladies, kids need their dads' attention too. And mommies get really tired during the day as well. So I just started handing my daughter to my husband when he gets home from work. In the beginning he used to give her right back to me when she started crying. But I told him that being a parent is a new role for me, as well as it is for him. And if I can find a way to calm my baby down, he should be able to do the same. Little by little he is getting better. Now wheh he plays with our daughter she smiles most of the time. And even if she cries, he does not get stressed out any more.

xuxachi · July 2015

My DH is great with the kids, but he's definitely more comfortable with them once they are out of the infant stage. Most guys don't know what to do with really little ones and need to be "encouraged" (I also just give the baby to by DH versus waiting for him to do it) and they also need some instruction. Investing in the latter is time well spent. Sometimes they need to figure out their own way too, so hovering telling them they are doing it wrong doesn't help (I've been guilty of that).

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