Post-Baby Body Anxiety - Anyone Else?

satindawl83 · June 2015

I've been obsessed with researching how women's bodies change after pregnancy and I'm terrified. It's vain, but I don't want to think that having a child is the end of my body as I know it.

Some moms will say, "yep, my body is ruined, but it's all worth it."

Does it have to be "ruined"? Is it age, genetics, lack of exercise? I hate to think we all need to sit back and accept a completely different body as "the way it is."

Any first time moms experiencing this fear?

ammnam14 · June 2015

I also have the same fear! My hubby is pretty positive about it. He said we'll go to momma boot camp and get me back in shape after baby. I think if you eat healthy throughout your pregnancy and stay a little active you'll be fine.

ketobaby · June 2015

I think every woman is different. Some
Woman can bounce back rather quickly naturally without diet or working out. Some people have to really work hard at it. I'm having issues as well. I recently worked hard to lose weight and I was well on my way into starting to fit my clothing when I found out I was pregnant. This pregnancy will push me to the heaviest I've ever been and I know that I'll need to bust my butt in order to get back into shape. All while working full time and taking care of baby. Hopefully i can find a way to not be so hard on myself after the baby comes. In short I don't think you are alone with your concerns.

koala1107 · June 2015

I definitely have this fear too! It's very normal. Obviously I understand that a baby will be worth it but I just know I'll be extremely self conscious while recovering because I've worked hard for my pre baby physique. We may not be exactly the same after we give birth but there's no reason why we can't have a new normal that we feel beautiful with some dedication!

hummingbird35 · June 2015

I read that everyone's body changes, but that's not necessarily bad!! I have always wished for wider hips and a bigger butt, I'm hoping pregnancy will help me with that and stay once the weight comes off

SidneyElizabeth1012 · June 2015

I feel the same way! I am very thankful for my child growing inside of me, BUT I'm completely terrified of stretch marks forming on my belly. I was bigger as a kid and once I lost all my "baby fat" I had deep stretch marks on my boobs, hips, thighs, and under arms. I was tormented for having those stretch marks so now I'm having super anxiety about the belly stretch marks.

stivaleta · June 2015

I have had 2 kids, my body wasn't ruined, I got some nice hips after my last one, but I bounced back after each pregnancy

bbrady1031 · June 2015

Oooooh! Pick me!! Pick me!! I feel the exact same way. Scared out of my mind. I'm not exactly a small girl nor am I a truly big girl. Just average in the middle. My body has started changing already! And it scares me everyday!!! I've started walking. I used to run before getting pregnant. Doctor told me no running and no biking

I told hubby I want a personal trainer for after the baby.

satindawl83 · June 2015

Thank god I'm not alone! It feels so selfish, but I can't help worrying. I look at my boobs, which have ballooned, and on the sides, I see the beginning of what may be the bowling ball in sock syndrome.

@stivaleta I hope I luck out like you and bounce back!

mbhurst1 · June 2015

No! I got my body back. I mean, it took hard work and time but I did. I still exercised and ran and ate healthy during my pregnancy.
I gained 25 lbs with my first, held on to 5 lbs while I was BFing (wouldn't go away)! Once I stopped, I lost the rest and got my body back. I was even faster running and broke a lot of PR race records.

LC122 · June 2015

bbrady1031 said:
Oooooh! Pick me!! Pick me!! I feel the exact same way. Scared out of my mind. I'm not exactly a small girl nor am I a truly big girl. Just average in the middle. My body has started changing already! And it scares me everyday!!! I've started walking. I used to run before getting pregnant. Doctor told me no running and no biking I told hubby I want a personal trainer for after the baby.

Do you have a medical condition that prevents you from running or biking? If not and you were doing those things before pregnancy, you can likely continue to do them during pregnancy.
Biking is a little different and there are some precautions that should be taken, but plenty of women run marathons while pregnant.
Some of you might remember that story that made national headlines when a woman delivered her baby a few hours (like 6-7, I think) after running a marathon at 38 weeks pregnant. She was heavily criticized but was a long-term runner and closely followed by her doctor throughout the pregnancy.

4puddleducks · June 2015

Your body will change and won't sugarcoat it, it takes some time to get used to it. I had DS at 35 weeks and hadn't really gained too much. I left the hospital (after a 5 day post partum stay) in my pre-pregnancy jeans. My body, with the exception of my chest, was about the same as before and I still had a hard time seeing my body was being normal. It didn't matter how much people told me, it just took time to regain my confidence and figure out who I was as a mom. Don't worry too much though because you can't prepare for this.

asmith40 · June 2015

Yes, I worry about the same things. Like the other ladies have said, I'm thrilled to be having this baby. However, I'm concerned with how I'll look afterwards. I want to feel and look good, not only for myself but for my husband. It might just take some hard work and dedication in order to get back in shape post baby! I want to be a good example for my child and live a healthy lifestyle.

bbrady1031 · June 2015

@LC122 I've had two knee surgeries in the past and the doctor felt it best that I hold off until after the baby. Doctor also felt she didn't want me biking. I completely trust my doctor, I've been with her for years and I try to follow doctors orders. I do still go to the gym but don't do as much. I'll get back into running and I know there are other woman who run while pregnant but I think I'll listen to the doc for now

Melissadmag · June 2015

I have that fear for sure. Your body will change, but it doesn't have to be a bad thing. My cousin that's always been a size 0 just had her baby half a year ago and she exercised and ate right the whole pregnancy and kept up with moisturizing her skin. 6 months post baby she doesn't look like the skinny twig she was pre-baby but she definitely has an enviable body. She is stretch mark free, toned, and looks great. And I don't mean looks great for a mom, I mean in general, overall looks hot. She has more hips and boobs going for her now and in some ways I think she honestly looks better. My sister also looked like she walked out of the hospital the day after delivery the same size as she was pre baby and the main change with her was that she did get stretch marks but she also admits she didn't do anything to try and prevent them. Anyway, I think that with proper diet and exercise that despite not getting the exact same body as before back, that you can still have a great and enviable body, you just have to be willing to work for it. Oh yeah, and my room mate literally blew up when she was pregnant, went from 105 to 210 by delivery, she straight doubled in size. A year later she is actually a fitness model and works for one of those protein powder companies. She not only lost the weight but has more muscles than most men I know. She did get a bunch of stretch marks on her lower tummy but she tans and it is much less noticeable as long as she isn't slouching, and to events to wears high waisted bottoms. Even if you do change in ways you don't like, hopefully it's something that you can eventually accept, and the trade off will be worth it. Maybe crop tops wont be your thing anymore, but you probably don't want to be wearing crop tops and booty shorts in front of baby anyway (or maybe you do, I'm just assuming lol).

LC122 · June 2015

bbrady1031 said:
@LC122 I've had two knee surgeries in the past and the doctor felt it best that I hold off until after the baby. Doctor also felt she didn't want me biking. I completely trust my doctor, I've been with her for years and I try to follow doctors orders. I do still go to the gym but don't do as much. I'll get back into running and I know there are other woman who run while pregnant but I think I'll listen to the doc for now

That makes sense.
I would have more reservations about biking (I read this article that recommended getting a more upright bike and all this other stuff and I wouldn't ever buy a new bike just to have while pregnant, but I am not a big biker anyway), but I know some people who treat pregnancy like an illness (it can be accompanied by some) and act completely incapacitated by it. There are definitely precautions to be taken, especially if you have an underlying/pre-existing condition, but most women can continue their normal exercise regimen or pretty close to it.

I actually highly recommend prenatal exercise classes. Not only will they teach you safe modifications and provide valuable information but they are a great resource of peer information because you are in a class with a bunch of other pregnant people.

MoreKittens · June 2015

I've struggled with body image since a pre teen and something I've really focused on in counseling is what my body can do as opposed to how it looks, especially since, for me, that's been so skewed. Whenever I'm feeling self conscious, I focus on ideas that my dimpled legs have run half marathons, and my "flabby" arms can swim for miles, and my now poochy stomach is growing a baby. I'm really trying to keep up positive self talk that this body will have grown and birthed another human being- how amazing is that?!

(Of course I'd love to look like a super model, so I'm not dogging anyone in this post, just sharing what has helped in the past)

vanmostudio · June 2015

You'll be great! Everyone's body is different, my first didn't "ruin" my body by any means...it reminds me every day how kick ass I am haha! I highly recommend keeping active during your pregnancy. It's great for a lot of the symptoms, physical and emotional, but also, it REALLY helps you bounce back. I know it seems futile as you see the pounds creep up, but it's hugely helpful! Plus it's a mindset; you don't give up on yourself, ever! There is always going to be something keeping us tired or busy, our whole lives. One day at a time...you've got this!!!

SidneyElizabeth1012 · June 2015

@MoreKittens , thank you for sharing that. I have struggled with my body image from early teen years to present. I have seen many counselors and I have actually never heard that advice. I was just told to journal it and meditate on it. I will start trying what you do.

TwinmamaNisha · June 2015

Yes I feel the same way X200! I am having twins and hearing horror stories of other moms who had twins and they ballooned is scary. But hey if Mariah Carey and Jennifer Lopez can do it so can I!

bbrady1031 · June 2015

I am looking into prenatal yoga classes in my area. I'm hoping there is a place I'll like. I heard that helps with stretching and breathing! So here's hoping I can find a place or two to visit. My best friend is pregnant too and she is going to go with me

I think it makes it easier when you have a friend to go with you

hugheston · June 2015

LC122 said:

bbrady1031 said:
@LC122 I've had two knee surgeries in the past and the doctor felt it best that I hold off until after the baby. Doctor also felt she didn't want me biking. I completely trust my doctor, I've been with her for years and I try to follow doctors orders. I do still go to the gym but don't do as much. I'll get back into running and I know there are other woman who run while pregnant but I think I'll listen to the doc for now
That makes sense.
I would have more reservations about biking (I read this article that recommended getting a more upright bike and all this other stuff and I wouldn't ever buy a new bike just to have while pregnant, but I am not a big biker anyway), but I know some people who treat pregnancy like an illness (it can be accompanied by some) and act completely incapacitated by it. There are definitely precautions to be taken, especially if you have an underlying/pre-existing condition, but most women can continue their normal exercise regimen or pretty close to it.

I actually highly recommend prenatal exercise classes. Not only will they teach you safe modifications and provide valuable information but they are a great resource of peer information because you are in a class with a bunch of other pregnant people.

I've been biking a lot because it's so much easier than running at this point. I have a road bike so I'm pretty bent over, is this bad??

dp1320 · June 2015

I think part of it is diet/exercise and a lot of it is genetics/luck. It also makes a difference if you breastfeed (if you do, your boobs will definitely change).

I didn't eat that great during my pregnancy with ds and didn't exercise besides walking. I never got stretchmarks and lost most of the weight fairly quickly. Had I actually eaten well and exercised i have no question I would have gotten back to the same body as pre baby but I didnt. And then I got pregnant again 10 lbs away from my goal weight. I'm going to make more of an effort this next time around but I also don't beat myself up over it.

kleshelle · June 2015

I was worried too, not so much now. You're making a bag after all you can't expect to snap your fingers and be back to yourself... If you do ever get back there, I heard hips widen and much more happens so you won't fit in old clothes like you did. I just eat as healthy as I can and if you plan on breast feeding it helps with losing weight too.

BostonBaby1 · June 2015

I definitely agree that it depends upon the woman. I have had friends that have actually lost weight with each child and look phenomenal after three or four! I'm not sure what combination causes this. I'm sure that genetics has something to do with it and likely lifestyle has a huge influence. I would imagine that the amount of weight that you gain would also influence your ability to get back to pre-baby size. On the flipside, I have had friends that have not been able to lose all of their body weight. Usually this happens when their children are closer together in age (though this is not based on any studies, simply my personal observations.) If you're highly concerned, I would recommend that you seek the advice of a board-certified cosmetic surgeon. I'm not advocating surgery, however, there are certain treatments such as lasers that can reduce stretch marks and specialty girdles that can help your hips reduce back to their prepregnancy size. Obviously, as each person is unique, one cannot guarantee the outcome.

IMHO, if your body changes a bit and will not return to prepregnancy proportions despite your best efforts, you should still be proud of the fact that you had this change due to the miracle of life.

Good luck mama! I'm sure you'll do just fine :-)

ealiska · June 2015

I feel it too!
Strangely-I hate having boobs! I was a 34b before -haven't gotten measured recently but suddenly I have a ton of totally innocuous tops that have turned downright slutty. They keep getting in the way:(

LC122 · June 2015

hugheston said:

LC122 said:

bbrady1031 said:
@LC122 I've had two knee surgeries in the past and the doctor felt it best that I hold off until after the baby. Doctor also felt she didn't want me biking. I completely trust my doctor, I've been with her for years and I try to follow doctors orders. I do still go to the gym but don't do as much. I'll get back into running and I know there are other woman who run while pregnant but I think I'll listen to the doc for now
That makes sense.
I would have more reservations about biking (I read this article that recommended getting a more upright bike and all this other stuff and I wouldn't ever buy a new bike just to have while pregnant, but I am not a big biker anyway), but I know some people who treat pregnancy like an illness (it can be accompanied by some) and act completely incapacitated by it. There are definitely precautions to be taken, especially if you have an underlying/pre-existing condition, but most women can continue their normal exercise regimen or pretty close to it.

I actually highly recommend prenatal exercise classes. Not only will they teach you safe modifications and provide valuable information but they are a great resource of peer information because you are in a class with a bunch of other pregnant people.
I've been biking a lot because it's so much easier than running at this point. I have a road bike so I'm pretty bent over, is this bad??

Well, how is your back?
It may not be so bad this early on, but as you have more weight on your front, being bent over will put more pressure on your back.
The article I read talked about getting a bike with a more upright seat to take pressure off your back. And I think it said that would also put you lower to the ground in case you lost your balance. It even mentioned recumbent bikes as an option but my impression is those are crazy expensive and I would worry about visibility. Balance was a big issue too. Some women have trouble with adjusting to the changes in balance as they get further along in pregnancy.
I'll see if I can find the article. I think it was about safe biking in general and then happened to have a section specifically about pregnancy.

@hugheston

Ken122014 · June 2015

Obviously health and wellness is important, and our physical appearance is a big part of that. But, at 30 years old, I've learned that my body will change. My body changed in college and has changed since college, all while working out and eating well. Now, I know my body will change again with pregnancy and after pregnancy. Just because I may not look exactly like I did in college doesn't mean I'm not healthy. Work out, eat healthy, most importantly be happy with who you are!

I wasn't going to post on this thread, but I just saw these two posts on Facebook and they made me think of this, and can hopefully remind us all of everything our bodies do for us.

FYI, I'm not posting the "10 things" as facts. Just little reminders to be happy with how you are!

Also, I don't mean to say being worried about post pregnancy body is a bad thing- I know it's a very real emotion!

CMDD · June 2015

hugheston said:

@LC122 I've had two knee surgeries in the past and the doctor felt it best that I hold off until after the baby. Doctor also felt she didn't want me biking. I completely trust my doctor, I've been with her for years and I try to follow doctors orders. I do still go to the gym but don't do as much. I'll get back into running and I know there are other woman who run while pregnant but I think I'll listen to the doc for now
That makes sense. I would have more reservations about biking (I read this article that recommended getting a more upright bike and all this other stuff and I wouldn't ever buy a new bike just to have while pregnant, but I am not a big biker anyway), but I know some people who treat pregnancy like an illness (it can be accompanied by some) and act completely incapacitated by it. There are definitely precautions to be taken, especially if you have an underlying/pre-existing condition, but most women can continue their normal exercise regimen or pretty close to it. I actually highly recommend prenatal exercise classes. Not only will they teach you safe modifications and provide valuable information but they are a great resource of peer information because you are in a class with a bunch of other pregnant people.
I've been biking a lot because it's so much easier than running at this point. I have a road bike so I'm pretty bent over, is this bad??

@hugheston no, biking is not bad at all. totally fine. you might run it by your doctor next time you go in, but i wouldn't stop now

hugheston · June 2015

@LC122

So far so good. I figured I'd stop before my belly got too big and made me lose my balance or make it difficult to reach for the handlebars. It's just been so much easier on me than running. I'll do some more reading on it, thanks for bringing my attention to it.

Cmagno · June 2015

I did spinning with DD and loved it! My midwife recommended no road biking after first tri because baby is no longer protected under pelvic bone, but I'm a klutz with a history of crashing so that may have just been advice for me ;-)

As far as getting body back I remember worrying a lot too but I ate fairly healthy and stayed active during pregnancy and annoyingly enough the weight did kind of fall off and I ended up under my pre-pregnancy weight. I got back into running around 4 months and I accredit a lot of it to bfing. I think your body does change but it's not always crazy bad. I try to remember my body created a miracle (my amazing DD) and as I'm seeing my body change yet again (hello arm flab!?) I try to remind myself another miracle is on its way!

pilarg18 · June 2015

I worry about this ALL THE TIME! I'm on active duty in the military, I have 6 months after the baby is born to get back to my mandated physical fitness and waist measurement standards. I think those are going to be the most gym/diet-oriented months of my life.

BostonBaby1 · June 2015

pilarg18 said:
I worry about this ALL THE TIME! I'm on active duty in the military, I have 6 months after the baby is born to get back to my mandated physical fitness and waist measurement standards. I think those are going to be the most gym/diet-oriented months of my life.

I just wanted to say thank you very much for your service!

rain0831boww · June 2015

I definitely think every woman is different. I have friends and family that either shrink back to normal, get more curves , or just can't seem to lose the last bit if buldge they're self conscious about. Even though I only carried my last until 21 weeks I definitely noticed I have noticed wider hips and my ribs expanded. Wonder how my body will change this time. I think it's natural to worry about how your body will change. Some things are in our hands and others like stretch marks, we just can't avoid.

vbrannin2010 · June 2015

I've lost weight, but gained boobs after every pregnancy. What did drastically change for me was my hips. I don't have mom-hips per say, but I did get wider over all. At only 5 4, it's noticeable and also I weighed (before this pregnancy) 135 lbs. I'm a runner and do workout videos, I've just never been able to shrink down to the waist size I was before. Every new mom will struggle with meeting and accepting their new body. There might be slight changes, big changes, or non at all. In my opinion, it's about finding a comfortable look for you. Who knows, you might be one of the few who bounces back with no problems. :-)

Taylovesbrad · June 2015

Totally. This has been an ex cerise of accepting my body every day and trying not to worry. It is what it is.

TomekiaB · June 2015

Most of my friends that have already had babies bounced right back and many looked more in shape after the baby than before however some of them have gained as the babies got older. I think my mom's friends used the baby weight excuse a lot which has scared me and many of my peers--but my friends have proved it doesn't have to be that way. Only one of my friends made a huge effort to lose the weight and she gained twice what she was supposed to so it was much harder for her to get her body back than my friends that stayed within their weight gain goals.

The weight gain of pregnancy if you are at a normal weight and gain what is recommended is actually only 5-10lbs of maternal fat gain (the rest is baby, fluid, placenta etc.). The rest really should be lost with delivery and as your blood volume returns to normal.

ToneGirl · June 2015

My body actually got better after my son. I ended up being 18 lbs. lighter than my pre-pregnancy weight after I delivered! I got abs and was in the best shape of my life...now, I did change my lifestyle to a clean eating diet and I was working out/lifting weights 5-6 times a week after I had my son and still keeping up with it today. I'm continuing to do this throughout my pregnancy (as best as I can) so I can stay as fit as possible. I'm a firm believer that if you put your mind to it, you will achieve it! Don't use "oh I had xxx amount of kids and this is the best my body will look!" Don't use it as an excuse! Stay active and eat healthy and you will appreciate it during labor/delivery and after.

grkgdss00 · June 2015

I have the same fear, seriously. I've always been in good shape and on the slim side and totally freaking about this. My love handles and mis-section already scare me and im only 13w! Just like anything, I think with the right amount of dedication and hardwork after baby you can be in control of how much weight comes off, etc. I'm planning on staying active all pregnancy and trying to eat good so less work to do after.

GalLaura · June 2015

Genetics, eating well and age play a role here. If your breastfeed the weight will come off. I'm on my 2nd lo and nervous because I didn't get my pre baby body back. I was a very fit size 4-6 pre baby 1 and after baby more like an unfit size 6-8. I use to work out 5 times a week. I'm living in another country now and no family or close friends to watch lo. We are on a tight budget so no money for gym. I joined a running club, got a Fitbit and also work out after lo goes to sleep. I'm worried how it will all go down with 2! The thing I tell myself though is if you eat healthy, you will be healthy. I haven't been following that motto so much recently.

discohiker · June 2015

Keep moving, eat well, drink a lot of water.... while you are pregnant and after. Your body may be the same, it may not. The thing with breastfeeding is that after a few months, you plateau and you actually don't fully lose the weight until after you have weaned the baby (most women). Give yourself some credit and trust your body and your mind to make the choices that will keep you healthy now and in the future. Try not to be anxious, everything is going to be ok

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