so as I get closer to my C-section date (23rd) I am becoming more and more nervous about having 2 children and starting over at the newborn stage! Any advice from moms with multipule kids would be awesome
We have a new moms thread...... Once again you've been present long enough to know this...............
I'm not a "new mom" I asked for advice with moms with multiple kids I have an almost 3 year old. And was wondering if anyone had anything that worked for them to help with having 2 kids
We have a new moms thread...... Once again you've been present long enough to know this...............
I'm not a "new mom" I asked for advice with moms with multiple kids I have an almost 3 year old. And was wondering if anyone had anything that worked for them to help with having 2 kids
Yes and you asked for advice (i'm presuming from women who have lived this, not just other FTM) so going to the New mom thread you'd probably hear from women who could help you. Common sense.
Yep and there's the thread melly gave you as well with moms talking about being moms and dealing with siblings. They are BOTH great threads to utilize.
We have a new moms thread...... Once again you've been present long enough to know this...............
I'm not a "new mom" I asked for advice with moms with multiple kids I have an almost 3 year old. And was wondering if anyone had anything that worked for them to help with having 2 kids
New moms thread isn't just for FTMs (maybe "new mom" isn't the clearest terminology for us to have used in the title of it - it's basically the Symptoms thread for those of us who've had our June babies already). But yeah there are plenty of STM on there too. So @klkonwi is right, that would have been the appropriate place for this question, or the thread @mellymar gave you.
ETA or even the FFFQ thread. Basically, you didn't need to start a new thread for this.
I don't comment much on here but this is suppose to be a place for support and numerous times I've seen attitude and rude comments. Makes me not want to even look on here. So sad that everyone's worried that someone started a new thread. Sometimes it's hard to read through hundreds of comments on the other threads. If you don't have anything nice to say, just don't say anything. No one is hurt by a new thread. We are suppose to be here to support each other. Your comments are not very supportive if they come off extremely rude. Just saying.
^^ the other posters are trying to support the OP by leading her to threads where her topic is already being discussed and she can join in the discussion and contribute. Since those threads are used *very* frequently, her question will get a lot more eyes on it than a random single thread, because frequent contributors will more often ignore a single thread that is based on a topic already being discussed in detail somewhere else.
So... That is why redirects to other threads happen. The support is there, but nobody wants to repeat themselves over and over and over again when there are a bunch of separate threads all talking the same thing.
Why are you guys making such a big deal that she made a new thread. Who cares no one's making you read it or post to it
Because of everything I wrote above. It really does help the person asking the question to utilize existing threads
ETA and yes, not opening the thread is exactly what happens. And the OP doesn't get the benefit of the advice of the roundtable discussion that is already occurring elsewhere
The new moms barely have time to check two threads. Several have even said they only read the two designated threads during the day. She probably will only get advice and tips from the appropriate threads.
The new moms barely have time to check two threads. Several have even said they only read the two designated threads during the day. She probably will only get advice and tips from the appropriate threads.
This.
And she's been here long enough to know how this works. Which is outlined in the Guidelines set by The Bump admins. Read them. They stress the importance of the Search function.
Also, I'm sick and tired of the "be supportive or be silent" attitude. Everyone does not need a freaking participation trophy. You don't get Community support by showing up and creating your own rules. You get it by looking around and participating in an appropriate manner. Cripes.
@Kcave21 I am a ftm so I cant relate to the whole starting over but I would just say stay positive and try and think about the blessing youll soon be holding in your arms and you've already done this twice so you've got practice and as well youll be able to add another addition to the family. What a gift
to everyone else, I do believe this site is for support and information and just to see where other women are and for us to share in all the things that motherhood and pregnancy brings. That being said, I do think that not everyone will agree and people will not be supportive of each other all the time, that's human nature. BUT why be rude, if your reading something you don't agree with then keep on scrolling. I get this is the internet and people are more likely to say things or react in ways they wouldn't in real life or face to face with someone but come on, I mean I don't agree with what a lot of women on here talk about and I roll my eyes at a lot of the comments and such, but I don't take the time to be rude and down on those people. Just keep scrolling or move on to the next comment or thread.
@Kcave21 I am a ftm so I cant relate to the whole starting over but I would just say stay positive and try and think about the blessing youll soon be holding in your arms and you've already done this twice so you've got practice and as well youll be able to add another addition to the family. What a gift
to everyone else, I do believe this site is for support and information and just to see where other women are and for us to share in all the things that motherhood and pregnancy brings. That being said, I do think that not everyone will agree and people will not be supportive of each other all the time, that's human nature. BUT why be rude, if your reading something you don't agree with then keep on scrolling. I get this is the internet and people are more likely to say things or react in ways they wouldn't in real life or face to face with someone but come on, I mean I don't agree with what a lot of women on here talk about and I roll my eyes at a lot of the comments and such, but I don't take the time to be rude and down on those people. Just keep scrolling or move on to the next comment or thread.
Aside from directing her to other threads which is not rude when was anyone rude to her? Was there name calling? I don't see that.
I dont understand the argument about not being supportive. Isn't the fact that we have a functioning community with some semblance of organization proof that we have a supportive group of women looking to help each other with the most information possible?
Leave it to people who never contribute anything worthwhile to say "WAH THERE'S NO SUPPORT HERE".
And seriously we need mean mom bingo boards... or play the mean mom drinking game (after we all deliver of course). I'm gonna pull these threads up and take a sip:
Every time we're told the person is never coming back/ deleting 'this app" lol Every time we're told we're mean (drink double if the "meanie" was actually just directing the person to a more appropriate thread) Every time we're told we need to be supportive Every time the poster asks if their "darkening anal" is normal (FINISH YOUR DRINK FOR THIS ONE) Every time we're asked if they should call their doctor Every time if someone is wondering if they're in labor Every time the person posts a question that is addressed in another thread on the first page Every time someone calls a "meanie" rude or sarcastic
Please feel free to add other suggestions. This momma is gonna need a cocktail once this baby is born :-)
Yes and you asked for advice (i'm presuming from women who have lived this, not just other FTM) so going to the New mom thread you'd probably hear from women who could help you. Common sense.
Yes and you asked for advice (i'm presuming from women who have lived this, not just other FTM) so going to the New mom thread you'd probably hear from women who could help you. Common sense.
Because we actually use this board for support and real questions everyday..... That's why. We don't just randomly pop on here.
Those are all sarcastic and rude.
Disagree. They are honest answers. OP constantly starts new threads and they (the regulars) have had this discussion with her at length. But, this is the song that never ends. The regulars are "rude" and "unsupportive" yet they are the people who contribute on a daily basis. That makes no sense.
What is this high school? "the regulars"? no one on here, I don't care if you have been using this site for a day or for a year no one is better or more valid than anyone else.
Those aren't rude at all. They're true. I think what's rude is when people try to insert themselves into an established community without taking a few minutes to familiarize themselves with how the community works, instead expecting to be given special treatment and becoming offended when other members try to guide them in the right direction.
What is this high school? "the regulars"? no one on here, I don't care if you have been using this site for a day or for a year no one is better or more valid than anyone else.
When did I say they were better? The point I'm making is you're calling out the people who use this board most frequently. They are the people who do, in fact, offer the most support and you are calling them rude and unsupportive. And all of this coming from someone who has posted and contributed virtually nothing.
This is the dictionary.com definition of sarcastic: marked by or given to using irony in order to mock or convey contempt.
rachelkaylene most of those are not sarcastic at all, they're explaining where the poster could find the most helpful information for her question. Why would people want to post their experiences in detail again when they already shared in another thread less that 24 hours ago. She's clearly not getting information on her question from this hilarious thread now. She would have done much better to take the suggestion and get the answers she needed on the other active thread.
Now for the sarcasm!! Ride off into the sunset white knight!!
What is this high school? "the regulars"? no one on here, I don't care if you have been using this site for a day or for a year no one is better or more valid than anyone else.
and I absolutely agree with you here. No one on here cares how long you've been posting, whether it be your entire pregnancy or just now joining. It's wonderful to talk to new people and bring others into the community! We have had numerous new contributors join recently and fit right in because they took the time to read the Bump's Guidelines and respect how the community is organized.
Issues arise when posters new or old, (and this thread is actually a great example of this because OP has been around for a long time so it goes to show that no one is discriminating based on how "new" a poster is) completely and unapologetically ignore the way the community operates.
Yes and you asked for advice (i'm presuming from women who have lived this, not just other FTM) so going to the New mom thread you'd probably hear from women who could help you. Common sense.
Because we actually use this board for support and real questions everyday..... That's why. We don't just randomly pop on here.
Those are all sarcastic and rude.
To me these all sound like honest feedback comments. If you want sunshine and rainbows for every comment you're not going to find it here. This is not an ego stroking, hand holding, and saying everything is going to be ok kind of place IF you don't use common sense (kinda like the real world). If you take a moment to look around at the various threads or take the advice of others on which threads to actually find what you're looking for, or God forbid actually use the search bar....these people when sensitive feelers would not be so hurt. If you participate using fore mentioned common sense, this place is awesome for support, feedback, and comradely.
Forgive me for being so blunt. I'm just feeling 39+ weeks pregnant with irregular contractions. I left my filter back in the second trimester.
My whole point was that it doesn't matter who has posted a million times or once they should be treated the same. And you keep comparing the two as if one is more acceptable than the other.
If you are the new person ANYWHERE in life you are going to be treated as such. Not in a bad way but you're new, you need to learn the ropes. You need to figure things out. Get used to it.
My whole point was that it doesn't matter who has posted a million times or once they should be treated the same. And you keep comparing the two as if one is more acceptable than the other.
The only thing being compared is people who know how to observe and respect the guidelines of a community and those who don't.
Just as an example: if you had taken the time yesterday to look around the community, you would have seen that we were all participating in SUPPORTING our moms who have experienced a loss of a child by not posting between 3-4 pm. You posted multiple times during that time period on threads that were right below the one that read HOUR OF SILENCE. Yet you chose to ignore this, which many people in our community would find RUDE and UNSUPPORTIVE, to use your terms.
Anyone's that has been around this board long enough would know that these June moms are one of the most supportive groups around. While we may be internet strangers, I personally have felt nothing but support and empathy from the regulars around here. There are moms that have been through difficult challenges and these ladies offered encouragement, sympathy and sound advice.
I appreciate that most have a no nonsense attitude. I also like that they are very real with their responses. Yes this is a public forum where people come for support. Yet as some PP have mentioned, there are threads that are used regularly where everyone contributes. This is what makes us a community! You can't just continually pop up with personal concerns and expect feedback without contributing to the group. It's like showing up to a potluck party empty handed and expecting people to feed you.
My whole point was that it doesn't matter who has posted a million times or once they should be treated the same. And you keep comparing the two as if one is more acceptable than the other.
If you're referring to me then quote or tag me because I can't tell who you're talking to when you don't. One is not more acceptable than the other, I never even said that either. My problem is specifically with you calling members of an already established community rude and unsupportive which is not true. My second problem is that this OP, in particular, knows at this point how the board works.
My whole point was that IT DOESN'T MATTER WHO HAS POSTED A MILLION TIMES OR ONCE THEY SHOULD BE TREATED THE SAME. And you keep comparing the two as if one is more acceptable than the other.
(capitals because idk how to bold for emphasis)
they ARE treated the same here. they are directed to threads that will actually help them and give them answers, what the other posters who people claim are unsupportive and mean are doing is being helpful. the OP is constantly making her very own threads that are unmecessary seeing as the answers she wants are in other places. she needs to look around. just as the new posters do.
its like walking into class late and getting mad at the professor when they dont stop the entire lesson to catch you up.
Edit: forgot like 3 words swizz and i were apparently typing at the same time.
and I absolutely agree with you here. No one on here cares how long you've been posting, whether it be your entire pregnancy or just now joining. It's wonderful to talk to new people and bring others into the community! We have had numerous new contributors join recently and fit right in because they took the time to read the Bump's Guidelines and respect how the community is organized.
Issues arise when posters new or old, (and this thread is actually a great example of this because OP has been around for a long time so it goes to show that no one is discriminating based on how "new" a poster is) completely and unapologetically ignore the way the community operates.
THIS! exactly this! Well said @Serenamarr !! It has nothing to do with how long someone's been here. OP has been here for years and no one is treating her any differently than someone brand new who doesn't understand how to best utilize these boards. People have compared it to sitting in a class. If you just walk into a class room 30 minutes late or haven't been paying attention for the first half of class, you wouldnt ask the whole classroom to go back and start over just for you. You'd poke around your textbook or ask people for their notes. It's selfish to assume people are going to constantly cater to someone who doesn't try to learn some thing by just paying attention
I just want to say as a person who is supposed to technically belong to another birth month board that I enjoy the order on this one. On my original board all of "the regulars" (and every board has them) got banned and went to Facebook. Since then every day the same thread is started repeatedly. It's really annoying to scroll past three different "My mucus plug! Help!" threads to get to others that may be more informative/interactive. The original posters didn't bother to see that a thread on the topic has already been started and that they are all right there together on the same page. I guess what I'm saying is, I prefer to have the order so I can find my "support" easily--and I don't think that it's too much to ask that someone take a five minute look around and make sure they aren't repeating the same thing for the umpteenth time. I don't think anyone should delete the app and be offended bc not only are the threads you are being referred to more helpful than the ones you would start on your own, there are some funny, supportive and smart ladies who can really help ease your fears or concerns and are ready and willing to....just as long as it's in the right place!
Re: nervous
https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12587252/older-siblings-adjustments-and-problems#latest
They are BOTH great threads to utilize.
So... That is why redirects to other threads happen. The support is there, but nobody wants to repeat themselves over and over and over again when there are a bunch of separate threads all talking the same thing.
We don't just randomly pop on here.
ETA and yes, not opening the thread is exactly what happens. And the OP doesn't get the benefit of the advice of the roundtable discussion that is already occurring elsewhere
And she's been here long enough to know how this works. Which is outlined in the Guidelines set by The Bump admins. Read them. They stress the importance of the Search function.
Also, I'm sick and tired of the "be supportive or be silent" attitude. Everyone does not need a freaking participation trophy. You don't get Community support by showing up and creating your own rules. You get it by looking around and participating in an appropriate manner. Cripes.
@Kcave21 I am a ftm so I cant relate to the whole starting over but I would just say stay positive and try and think about the blessing youll soon be holding in your arms and you've already done this twice so you've got practice and as well youll be able to add another addition to the family. What a gift
to everyone else, I do believe this site is for support and information and just to see where other women are and for us to share in all the things that motherhood and pregnancy brings. That being said, I do think that not everyone will agree and people will not be supportive of each other all the time, that's human nature. BUT why be rude, if your reading something you don't agree with then keep on scrolling. I get this is the internet and people are more likely to say things or react in ways they wouldn't in real life or face to face with someone but come on, I mean I don't agree with what a lot of women on here talk about and I roll my eyes at a lot of the comments and such, but I don't take the time to be rude and down on those people. Just keep scrolling or move on to the next comment or thread.
I haven't had my baby yet...........
Leave it to people who never contribute anything worthwhile to say "WAH THERE'S NO SUPPORT HERE".
And seriously we need mean mom bingo boards... or play the mean mom drinking game (after we all deliver of course). I'm gonna pull these threads up and take a sip:
Every time we're told the person is never coming back/ deleting 'this app" lol
Every time we're told we're mean (drink double if the "meanie" was actually just directing the person to a more appropriate thread)
Every time we're told we need to be supportive
Every time the poster asks if their "darkening anal" is normal (FINISH YOUR DRINK FOR THIS ONE)
Every time we're asked if they should call their doctor
Every time if someone is wondering if they're in labor
Every time the person posts a question that is addressed in another thread on the first page
Every time someone calls a "meanie" rude or sarcastic
Please feel free to add other suggestions. This momma is gonna need a cocktail once this baby is born :-)
ETA: I'm already adding new rules.
Those are all sarcastic and rude.
Those are all sarcastic and rude.
Disagree. They are honest answers. OP constantly starts new threads and they (the regulars) have had this discussion with her at length. But, this is the song that never ends. The regulars are "rude" and "unsupportive" yet they are the people who contribute on a daily basis. That makes no sense.What is this high school? "the regulars"? no one on here, I don't care if you have been using this site for a day or for a year no one is better or more valid than anyone else.
marked by or given to using irony in order to mock or convey contempt.
rachelkaylene most of those are not sarcastic at all, they're explaining where the poster could find the most helpful information for her question. Why would people want to post their experiences in detail again when they already shared in another thread less that 24 hours ago. She's clearly not getting information on her question from this hilarious thread now. She would have done much better to take the suggestion and get the answers she needed on the other active thread.
Now for the sarcasm!! Ride off into the sunset white knight!!
Issues arise when posters new or old, (and this thread is actually a great example of this because OP has been around for a long time so it goes to show that no one is discriminating based on how "new" a poster is) completely and unapologetically ignore the way the community operates.
Those are all sarcastic and rude.
To me these all sound like honest feedback comments. If you want sunshine and rainbows for every comment you're not going to find it here. This is not an ego stroking, hand holding, and saying everything is going to be ok kind of place IF you don't use common sense (kinda like the real world). If you take a moment to look around at the various threads or take the advice of others on which threads to actually find what you're looking for, or God forbid actually use the search bar....these people when sensitive feelers would not be so hurt. If you participate using fore mentioned common sense, this place is awesome for support, feedback, and comradely.Forgive me for being so blunt. I'm just feeling 39+ weeks pregnant with irregular contractions. I left my filter back in the second trimester.
Just as an example: if you had taken the time yesterday to look around the community, you would have seen that we were all participating in SUPPORTING our moms who have experienced a loss of a child by not posting between 3-4 pm. You posted multiple times during that time period on threads that were right below the one that read HOUR OF SILENCE. Yet you chose to ignore this, which many people in our community would find RUDE and UNSUPPORTIVE, to use your terms.
I appreciate that most have a no nonsense attitude. I also like that they are very real with their responses. Yes this is a public forum where people come for support. Yet as some PP have mentioned, there are threads that are used regularly where everyone contributes. This is what makes us a community! You can't just continually pop up with personal concerns and expect feedback without contributing to the group. It's like showing up to a potluck party empty handed and expecting people to feed you.
they ARE treated the same here. they are directed to threads that will actually help them and give them answers, what the other posters who people claim are unsupportive and mean are doing is being helpful. the OP is constantly making her very own threads that are unmecessary seeing as the answers she wants are in other places. she needs to look around. just as the new posters do.
its like walking into class late and getting mad at the professor when they dont stop the entire lesson to catch you up.
Edit: forgot like 3 words
swizz and i were apparently typing at the same time.