Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
aliciaspinnet
member
Re: Breastfeeding sucks (but it gets better) - A support thread
We can do this ladies!
I'm hoping I'll at least get a little support from some of you ladies but totally get it if I do get slack about it
For you mamas who want to switch to formula don't take it to hard on yourself as long as baby gets fed and is healthy who cares what people think. At least you can say you tried and best of all at least baby got the colostrum the most important part!
First day home & baby girl is cluster feeding, which the LC said might happen since she's more alert & needing comfort from being in a new environment.
People visiting and my DH are getting so confused about me feeding her like every hour-2 hours when she gets upset & making hunger cues, BUT MOMMA KNOWS. & right now I'm typing while watching Thor out of the nursery & letting her feed AGAIN.
Can anyone explain to me what the hell "Let down" feels like because I'm at a loss?
It's been 14 days since my babe made her arrival & I've cried so many times trying to figure all of this out. She's already a pound and 3 ounces over her birth weight & thank GOD for Earth Mama Angel Baby Nipple Butter but I can't help but feel stressed about my diet causing her gas pains. She's been grunting at the breast & has a mild case of GER.
Also, these growth spurt feeding marathons are for real! Not to mention the fussiness.
Thank you for starting this thread, this FTM needed a place to vent my worries & frustrations.
As far as fore milk and hind milk I don't think it's something to worry about. From what I understand baby gets both every feeding.
A mothers diet can affect the baby. My LO had a similar problem. His pediatrician recommended I avoid anything that gives me gas. Some of the culprits of upset stomachs in breastfed babies are dairy, chocolate, spicy foods, raw veggies and caffeine. This is according to what the dr told me.
I know it's frustrating but try not to stress too much it'll make things worse. I know, easier said than done but hang in there!
Also remember that it doesn't necessarily have to be all or nothing. Lots of people successfully combo feed. Do what works for you and your baby, and don't worry about what anyone else thinks. What I think is let down for me is a sort of prickly sensation over the fuller parts of my breast when we're approaching feeding time, especially when LO is crying.
I've cried multiple times over this too, so you're definitely not alone. For something so natural, it sure is bloody difficult! Plus sleep deprivation and sore nipples
- taking my time with feedings. I was so tired the first few nights after birth that I was rushing through feeds without getting the latch right and just putting up with the pain. Big mistake! LO wasn't getting as much milk as he could so he'd wake up less than an hour later, and I did damage to my nipples. Once I started taking time to get the latch right things got much better.
- Doing a 1 on 1 session with the community midwife while LO fed. If it wasn't for that I would have probably switched to formula days ago.
- switching from nursing in bed to sitting in a chair (I'm using the Poang chair from IKEA, it's awesome!) Much more comfortable and I'm less worried about falling asleep while nursing.
- the Boppy pillow has been a big help. If you're not comfortable then you will struggle.
- when LO falls asleep at the breast, I roll him away from me, give him a few minutes to digest then wake him up (undressing him works well) and try again. Repeat until I'm sure he's full. He's slept much better since then
- I had really bad engorgement by day 4. So when LO gets hungry, DH takes him and soothes him while I make myself comfy and hand express off milk to soften up the breast. That way LO latches much better and isn't so frantic when he feeds.
- I noticed that LO was only draining half my breasts - I think that the engorgement was so bad that I got blocked milk ducts. Massaging the affected areas whilst nursing really helped soften everything up, and as a bonus LO is taking less time to nurse and is not suckling as hard as everything is flowing better.
And if you decide to switch to formula, there is nothing wrong with that. If the thought of bf-ing males you anxious or stressed and you aren't bonding, formula might be the right choice. Do what is best for your family and don't feel bad. We're all our own worst critic.
I am bothered by part of this book that imply that breastfeeding is the only acceptable option so I skip that but the book advocates for demand feeding and avoiding a schedule, covers supply and breast capacity differences, and explains laid back nursing. All of these things helped me.
I just reread it after a week with DS2 and it was much easier to explain to MIL and others why nursing on demand was important to establishing breastfeeding. She was much more understanding of why I indulge LO desire to nurse even if it seems like he just finished.
Would it be completely insane to make a quick trip to Target as a family to get that & some baby meds & refills for my postpartum care at 5 days post? Our car seat has a car seat canopy thing, so she will be hidden from ALL eyes the whole time. I feel like it's okay, but then again, I feel like it might be a crazy idea.