Yesterday was my EDD. I kept busy and photographed a wedding.
It was still rough. It was in the back of my mind all day.
Yesterday was also my moms Bday, my best friends bday, my nephews bday and for those of you who have been around for some time Nikolie93's bday. So knowing that made me very grateful for the awesome people i have in my life, but it still wasn't enough to keep the sads at bay.
Then i come here to see Hooligans4 news. My heart is just broken all over the place.
We likely had bad timing this month (i don't see the normal pattern in my cycle i normally do with FF so I'm confused) and next month if my cycle is what it is normally, my H will be out of town for my FW. So our next chance is August. August I turn 39. Im starting to lose hope. My H will never be a dad and my heart is so sad.
The point of my post is really just to vent I guess. Anyone else frustrated can vent here with me.
@KirstenAlecia, I'm so sorry you're going through this. I'll be 37 on Thursday and I'm TTC#1, so that's my vent. And the first two cycles after my d&c have been all screwy. This should be easier. I'm wishing hard for all of us.
TTC#1 since Jan 2015 BFP 2/19/15 • MMC found at 9 wks • D&E at 11 wks (age 36) BFP 8/29/15 • CP (age 37)
BFP 11/18/15 • DD born at 41 weeks (age 37/38)
TTC#2 since May 2017 BFP 10/18/17 • MMC found at 8 wks • Misoprostal at 10.5 wks (age 39) BFP 2/16/18 • CP (age 39) BFP 4/13/18 • CP (age 39) BFP 5/07/18 • MMC found at 10.5 wks • D&E at 11.5 wks • Testing showed it was a girl with Trisomy 22. (age 39/40) 9/5/18 Diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve (4-5 follicles, one ovary had none and was very atrophied) RE says the low egg count is likely causing my recurrent pregnancy loss. Less eggs results in more aneuploidy. BFP 9/24/18 • CP (age 40)
BFP 5/11/19 • Fraternal twins • MMC found at 10w5d (Baby A 6w, Baby B 10w) • Misoprostal at 11 weeks (age 41)
Aww ((((hugs))))). I can recall when I had my mmc a coworker was also pregnant, she was a week after me. So to see her pregnancy advance and to have a baby it hurt so much. Even if I blocked it outta my mind as soon as I went to work it was in my face. Wishing you luck, I will also be 39 this year (next month) but my dreams are starting to fade away. I told DH that when I turn 40 I'm gonna stop TTC, so I have a year to get lucky. @KirstenAlecia this is our year [-O<
Im sorry it was such a tough day- those "should have been" days are so hard. I had a MC 2 years ago, but the day it happened and the EDD are still on my mind.
My H's best friend...one of our closest coupled up friends. Yup also found out this week he and his girlfriend are expecting. Forgot to add that in (i thought i shoved it in there but apparently my head is jumbled) 2 of my SIL's are almost due....i was really hoping to get away from all things PG. Nope.
GRRRRR. I should be happy for them. But even my H i think is having a hard time with their news.
It's ok to not be happy for them right now. And it's ok to be happy for them and sad for yourself later on. You are completely entited to your feelings. This whole journey brings on all sorts of emotions, and unfortunately you can't escape from reminders, no matter how hard you try.
Hugs to you, and hopefully time will make things easier.
Re: What a rough time....
BFP 2/19/15 • MMC found at 9 wks • D&E at 11 wks (age 36)
BFP 8/29/15 • CP (age 37)
TTC#2 since May 2017
BFP 10/18/17 • MMC found at 8 wks • Misoprostal at 10.5 wks (age 39)
BFP 2/16/18 • CP (age 39)
BFP 4/13/18 • CP (age 39)
BFP 5/07/18 • MMC found at 10.5 wks • D&E at 11.5 wks • Testing showed it was a girl with Trisomy 22. (age 39/40)
9/5/18 Diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve (4-5 follicles, one ovary had none and was very atrophied)
RE says the low egg count is likely causing my recurrent pregnancy loss. Less eggs results in more aneuploidy.
BFP 9/24/18 • CP (age 40)
Me(38)PCOS/Hypothyroid DH(43)Low T/ED
MMC at 10 weeks 03/2011 DD born 01/2012 TTC #2 since 04/2014
BFP 8/26/2016
BFP- 10-16-14 EDD 6/13/15: MC 12-1-14