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What a rough time....

KirstenAleciaKirstenAlecia member
in TTC after 35
Yesterday was my EDD. I kept busy and photographed a wedding. 
It was still rough. It was in the back of my mind all day. 

Yesterday was also my moms Bday, my best friends bday, my nephews bday and for those of you who have been around for some time Nikolie93's bday. So knowing that made me very grateful for the awesome people i have in my life, but it still wasn't enough to keep the sads at bay. 

Then i come here to see Hooligans4 news. My heart is just broken all over the place. 

We likely had bad timing this month (i don't see the normal pattern in my cycle i normally do with FF so I'm confused) and next month if my cycle is what it is normally, my H will be out of town for my FW. So our next chance is August. August I turn 39. Im starting to lose hope. My H will never be a dad and my heart is so sad. 

The point of my post is really just to vent I guess. Anyone else frustrated can vent here with me. :(
SIGGY WARNING
Me 38   DH 34
married 05-21-11 
started TTC right away






BFP- 10-16-14 EDD 6/13/15: MC 12-1-14 
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Re: What a rough time....

  • emsmama15emsmama15 member
    Oh @KirstenAlecia, I'm sorry you're had such a rough day.  Hang in there.  Big hugs to you.
    *** Child & current pregnancy mentioned ***
    Me - 41 (PCOS), Hubby - 43 (healthy)
    7/2013 - Sweet baby girl born (Clomid + TI)
    3/2014 - TTC #2, return to RE 7/2014
    12/2015: IVF #1 transferred two great looking embryos - BFP!
    First ultrasound: TWO beautiful little heartbeats!!
    Harmony: negative; level 2: babies look great and are boy/girl! :) 
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  • carrieandrcarrieandr member
    @KirstenAlecia, I'm so sorry you're going through this. I'll be 37 on Thursday and I'm TTC#1, so that's my vent. And the first two cycles after my d&c have been all screwy. This should be easier. I'm wishing hard for all of us.
    TTC#1 since Jan 2015
    BFP 2/19/15  •  MMC found at 9 wks  •  D&E at 11 wks (age 36)
    BFP 8/29/15      •  CP (age 37)
    BFP 11/18/15  •  DD born at 41 weeks <3(age 37/38)

    TTC#2 since May 2017
    BFP 10/18/17  •  MMC found at 8 wks  •  Misoprostal at 10.5 wks (age 39)
    BFP 2/16/18      •  CP (age 39)
    BFP 4/13/18      •  CP (age 39)
    BFP 5/07/18  •  MMC found at 10.5 wks  •  D&E at 11.5 wks      •  Testing showed it was a girl with Trisomy 22. (age 39/40)
    9/5/18 Diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve (4-5 follicles, one ovary had none and was very atrophied)
    RE says the low egg count is likely causing my recurrent pregnancy loss. Less eggs results in more aneuploidy.
    BFP 9/24/18  •      CP (age 40)
    BFP 5/11/19  •  Fraternal twins  •  MMC found at 10w5d (Baby A 6w, Baby B 10w)  •  Misoprostal at 11 weeks (age 41)













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  • Carazona5Carazona5 member
    I'm so sorry :( I felt so bad for you reading that. Creepy internet hugs!
    Report Reply
  • happyktmomhappyktmom member
    Sending hugs your way!! 

    **child mentioned**
    Me(38)PCOS/Hypothyroid   DH(43)Low T/ED
    MMC at 10 weeks 03/2011 DD born 01/2012   TTC #2 since 04/2014
    BFP 8/26/2016


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  • C_GirlieC_Girlie member
    Aww ((((hugs))))). I can recall when I had my mmc a coworker was also pregnant, she was a week after me. So to see her pregnancy advance and to have a baby it hurt so much. Even if I blocked it outta my mind as soon as I went to work it was in my face. Wishing you luck, I will also be 39 this year (next month) but my dreams are starting to fade away. I told DH that when I turn 40 I'm gonna stop TTC, so I have a year to get lucky. @KirstenAlecia this is our year [-O<
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  • TomerineTomerine member
    Im sorry it was such a tough day- those "should have been" days are so hard.  I had a MC 2 years ago, but the day it happened and the EDD are still on my mind.  

    I hope things get better very soon.  
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  • thistle8677thistle8677 member
    @KirstenAlecia I'm so sorry for your pain right now. :(
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
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  • KirstenAleciaKirstenAlecia member
    My H's best friend...one of our closest  coupled up friends. Yup also found out this week he and his girlfriend are expecting. Forgot to add that in (i thought i shoved it in there but apparently my head is jumbled) 2 of my SIL's are almost due....i was really hoping to get away from all things PG. Nope. 

    GRRRRR. I should be happy for them. But even my H i think is having a hard time with their news. 
    SIGGY WARNING
    Me 38   DH 34
    married 05-21-11 
    started TTC right away






    BFP- 10-16-14 EDD 6/13/15: MC 12-1-14 
    Report Reply
  • lady+beelady+bee member
    It's ok to not be happy for them right now. And it's ok to be happy for them and sad for yourself later on. You are completely entited to your feelings. This whole journey brings on all sorts of emotions, and unfortunately you can't escape from reminders, no matter how hard you try. :(

    Hugs to you, and hopefully time will make things easier.
    Me: 41
    DH: 44
    TTC#1 since April 2015
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  • dolphin012dolphin012 member
    Hang in there @KirstenAlecia. That is a lot of to deal with, sorry you are having a tough time. 
    Me (42) w/ partner for 16+ years
    TTC #1: 11/2012 - 9/2013; 6/2014 - present
    Follistim + TI (3x): All BFNs
    Follistim + IUI (1x): BFN 
    IVF #1: 17 retrieved,15 fertilized, Day 3: 15, Day 5/6: 3 biopsied
    Result; 1 frozen blast (inconclusive PGS results)
    IVF #2; ER: 6/22 16 retrieved, 6/25: 5 transferred (CP), 2 frozen
    FET 9/17: BFN
    Current FET -- Transferred 2 day-3 embryos - BFN

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