It's been a tough day. I woke up spotting which turned to full bleeding by mid morning. So when the nurse called to tell me my HCG dropped to 90 I was not surprised. Cramping is bad and I'm passing clots. I go in in the morning for sono and exam. So tonight instead of telling DH he was going to be a daddy again I had to tell him I'm having a MC. So he scoops me in his arms and lets me ugly cry in his lap for a bit. He is taking off work to come with me even though I told him he didn't have to.
And the straw that is breaking the camels back is the water main burst on our block and they shut off our water. So I can't even flush my dang toilet.
This will be good bye for me. I just can't handle anymore. I wish you all well and thank you all for the years of support. I will stalk but it's likely will not participate any longer.
@hooligans4, I'm so very very sorry! I wanted you to have a successful and healthy pregnancy as much as I want it for myself. Please take care of yourself. And let your hubby take care of you too...
I'll be thinking of you. A great big hug from me...
*** Child & current pregnancy mentioned ***
Me - 41 (PCOS), Hubby - 43 (healthy)
7/2013 - Sweet baby girl born (Clomid + TI)
3/2014 - TTC #2, return to RE 7/2014
12/2015: IVF #1 transferred two great looking embryos - BFP!
First ultrasound: TWO beautiful little heartbeats!!
Harmony: negative; level 2: babies look great and are boy/girl!
oh no! I'm so sorry this is happening. What a crazy rollercoaster. I will miss you a lot. You've been a wonderful presence on this board but I understand your need to move on. Sending you lots and lots and lots of hugs. Take care of yourself.
ME: 36 (PCOS), DH: excellent SA NTNP since 11/12, actively trying since 8/14
m/c @ 7w (4/22/14), m/c @ 6w (11/19/14) 11/15: Letrozole, Ovidrel, TI = BFP!!! Beta #1(14dpo)=349, Beta #2(18dpo)=2,805 12/17/15: Got to see the heartbeat (105bpm)! 1/25/16: NT scan = normal (HB=163bpm) EDD: 8/10/16 8/8/16: Baby boy born @ 12:25am, 8lbs, 20.5 inches 5/18/17: BFP!!! (11dpo) Beta #1(12dpo)=176.4, Beta #2(15dpo)=607.1
Lurking...I haven't been on here for awhile and now I check in and see both of your posts at the same time. My heart hurts for you. I am so sorry. I know nothing I say can help you feel better so I'm just sending a hug.
Me:41, DH:41 Positive for MTHFR mutations- one copy C677T, one copy A1298C. One daughter born on Thanksgiving in 2013. Six losses.
TTC#1 since Jan 2015 BFP 2/19/15 • MMC found at 9 wks • D&E at 11 wks (age 36) BFP 8/29/15 • CP (age 37)
BFP 11/18/15 • DD born at 41 weeks (age 37/38)
TTC#2 since May 2017 BFP 10/18/17 • MMC found at 8 wks • Misoprostal at 10.5 wks (age 39) BFP 2/16/18 • CP (age 39) BFP 4/13/18 • CP (age 39) BFP 5/07/18 • MMC found at 10.5 wks • D&E at 11.5 wks • Testing showed it was a girl with Trisomy 22. (age 39/40) 9/5/18 Diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve (4-5 follicles, one ovary had none and was very atrophied) RE says the low egg count is likely causing my recurrent pregnancy loss. Less eggs results in more aneuploidy. BFP 9/24/18 • CP (age 40)
BFP 5/11/19 • Fraternal twins • MMC found at 10w5d (Baby A 6w, Baby B 10w) • Misoprostal at 11 weeks (age 41)
@hooligans4 oh sweetheart. My heart is breaking. I am so sorry. Please know I am here if you need anything. You are an amazing person and I am blessed to have gotten to know you here. Please take care of yourself.
Came over from "the dark side" just to tell you how sorry I am. I was so excited for you and now my heart goes out to you. Big creepy internet hugs and may life be kinder to you in the future.
me:41 dh:43
Off Mirena Nov 2013, On Nuvaring end of Jan, Back off Sept 2014. Never ending cycle starting end of Sept...
11/14 Provera failed... cycle continues
12/14 High FSH (57 "midcycle") OBGYN had no clue... about anything
01/15 More lab results coming back from RE. U/S showed small (1")cyst on left ovary, thin lining, and couldn't locate right ovary so possibly straight to DE and IVF
Occassionally mess with the chart below to see "what if" and learn (not to make it pretty but because FF stays drunk with me).
I'm so sorry, Hooligans. You've been such a great support for such a long time, and it just isn't fair that you're leaving like this. Please be kind to yourself. You're in my thoughts. Hugs.
*****Signature/Ticker Warning******
Me: 41, DH: 45 DD, 6/15/2013 TTC #2 beginning January 2014 AMH 1.05; FSH range 7-11
Damn it. I'm sorry @Hooligans4. This whole fertility thing is so unfair, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for your all your struggles and your losses. You've always been so positive and welcoming towards everyone and really, just such a comfort to me and so very many others on this board. I always looked forward to your advice or check-ins, I hope you know that you can ALWAYS come here for that same support and comfort. Your husband sounds just as wonderful as you are, we're all praying for you, and I hope in some small way that helps. Take care.
Formerly 2pupsnokids Husband: 41 Me: 36 3 months of clomid 3 failed IUIs changed REs 1 failed IVF (chemical pregnancy) 1 FET (single transfer) 2/28/15-BFP Due date 11/16/15
Hooligan I don't know you but you have my condolences. I understand the pain of loss and recurrent loss. It comes with many emotions beyond just sadness. I hope to see you back here one day.
@hooligans4 I am so sorry for your loss. I know there are no words that can ease your pain but just know you will get through this. Sending prayers to you and your family.
No...just no. I am so so very sorry. I just want to get in a car and come give you a huge hug. This makes me so sad and my tears are falling for you my friend. Many hugs to you and YH
ME:46 MH:44 DE IVF 2014
Met with RE 4/11.
2 IUI's BFN. DE best option. Switched clinics to do
"shared" program.
Had to retake all tests and a mamm that put me behind and then on a DE waiting list for 12 months.
Picked a donor!! (10/13/13) Got matched. Estimated transfer in December. After 2.5 years of patiently waiting I will finally cycle....can hardly believe it. DE cycle got cancelled. One of her tests came back positive. Waiting for another donor. Donor picked!! (1/18/14)
DE IVF #1 (4/26) BFN DE FET #1 (6/4) BFP! Beta 1=339 Beta 2=852 Beta 3=9957 EDD 2/22/15!!
I'm so very sorry @hooligans4! My heart and thoughts go out to you... We'll miss you! Your help and support have been invaluable on this board. I hug you tight!
I thank you all so much for your thoughts. I'm doing alright today. Keeping busy is helping. I asked my husband not to tell anyone because I don't like the looks of pity I get anytime someone sees me after a loss. That makes me just start crying. So we will keep it to ourselves and maybe I will be able to get through the three parties we have this weekend without breaking down.
Sono showed everything passed and tubes are clear, no free fluid anyehere. Have to check hcg in 2 weeks just to be sure. She said my lining must have been very thin so that if I ever get pregnant again I would have to go on progesterone right away. Told her I wasn't sure if we would be trying again. But if we do decide then I will go from there. I will pop back in now and again to check in on you all. Sending creepy internet hugs back to you all.
Big hugs to you even tho I know I'm newish here... Nice to see you post again, it's crazy how the internet brings people together sometimes - we haven't met but I've been thinking about you a lot yesterday and this morning. Hugs and prayers your wAy!
Damn damn damn my heart hurts for you @hooligans4. When I came back to the boards two weeks ago I was happy you was still around. Then the following day you shared exciting news and you was so happy and I was happy for you. Then I check in today to read it was a loss. Why does bad things happen to good people? Guessing if we were homeless and on drugs we wouldn't have trouble TTC. Hoping for you to heal emotionally, please do lurk I'm gonna miss you my Long Island TTC friend
This is so heartbreaking to me!!! I really thought this was going to be your rainbow.......Im so so so sorry @holligans4. Its not fair. Not at all. My heart is hurting for you.
Re: I will be leaving you. Loss mentioned
NTNP since 11/12, actively trying since 8/14
11/15: Letrozole, Ovidrel, TI = BFP!!!
Beta #1(14dpo)=349, Beta #2(18dpo)=2,805
12/17/15: Got to see the heartbeat (105bpm)!
1/25/16: NT scan = normal (HB=163bpm)
EDD: 8/10/16
8/8/16: Baby boy born @ 12:25am, 8lbs, 20.5 inches
5/18/17: BFP!!! (11dpo)
Beta #1(12dpo)=176.4, Beta #2(15dpo)=607.1
BFP 2/19/15 • MMC found at 9 wks • D&E at 11 wks (age 36)
BFP 8/29/15 • CP (age 37)
TTC#2 since May 2017
BFP 10/18/17 • MMC found at 8 wks • Misoprostal at 10.5 wks (age 39)
BFP 2/16/18 • CP (age 39)
BFP 4/13/18 • CP (age 39)
BFP 5/07/18 • MMC found at 10.5 wks • D&E at 11.5 wks • Testing showed it was a girl with Trisomy 22. (age 39/40)
9/5/18 Diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve (4-5 follicles, one ovary had none and was very atrophied)
RE says the low egg count is likely causing my recurrent pregnancy loss. Less eggs results in more aneuploidy.
BFP 9/24/18 • CP (age 40)
My Ovulation Chart
Me: 41, DH: 45
DD, 6/15/2013
TTC #2 beginning January 2014
AMH 1.05; FSH range 7-11
July 2014: IUI #1. Follistim + Pregnyl. 2 follicles--BFN
September 2014: IUI #2. Follistim + Pregnyl + Ganirelix + Crinone. 4(?) follicles--BFN
October 2014: IUI #3. More Follistim + More Ganirelix + Pregnyl + Crinone. 4 follicles--BFP! Beta #1=10 Beta #2=33 Beta #3=97 Beta #4=158. M/C 11/1/14
December 2014: IVF #1. Microdose Lupron protocol. 9R, 9M, 9F. 3 5-day blasts transferred 12/15. BFFN.
August 2015: IVF #3. 14R, 13M, 11F. Froze 5 blasts for CCS testing. 3 normals. FET planned for 10/2015.
My Ovulation Chart
I am glad your H is there with you. Wishing you peace at such a very terrible time.
Formerly 2pupsnokids
Husband: 41
Me: 36
3 months of clomid
3 failed IUIs
changed REs
1 failed IVF (chemical pregnancy)
1 FET (single transfer) 2/28/15-BFP
Due date 11/16/15
ME:46 MH:44 DE IVF 2014
Met with RE 4/11. 2 IUI's BFN. DE best option. Switched clinics to do "shared" program. Had to retake all tests and a mamm that put me behind and then on a DE waiting list for 12 months. Picked a donor!! (10/13/13) Got matched. Estimated transfer in December. After 2.5 years of patiently waiting I will finally cycle....can hardly believe it. DE cycle got cancelled. One of her tests came back positive. Waiting for another donor. Donor picked!! (1/18/14)
DE IVF #1 (4/26) BFN DE FET #1 (6/4) BFP! Beta 1=339 Beta 2=852 Beta 3=9957 EDD 2/22/15!!
I'm doing alright today. Keeping busy is helping. I asked my husband not to tell anyone because I don't like the looks of pity I get anytime someone sees me after a loss. That makes me just start crying. So we will keep it to ourselves and maybe I will be able to get through the three parties we have this weekend without breaking down.
Sono showed everything passed and tubes are clear, no free fluid anyehere. Have to check hcg in 2 weeks just to be sure.
She said my lining must have been very thin so that if I ever get pregnant again I would have to go on progesterone right away. Told her I wasn't sure if we would be trying again. But if we do decide then I will go from there.
I will pop back in now and again to check in on you all.
Sending creepy internet hugs back to you all.
Me:39, DH:40
DD born 8/96, DS born 8/04
TTC#3
NTNP since 2006, active trying 1/13
Natural M/C 3/13 at 7 weeks
CP 2/14
All welcome
"It is better to light a candle than curse the darkness." - Eleanor Roosevelt
BFP- 10-16-14 EDD 6/13/15: MC 12-1-14
Elizabeth 5yrs old Jane 3yrs old
Married for 7 years, TTC for 4 years
dx: Diminished Ovarian Reserve
2 Clomid IUI's + 4 injectable IUI's= 5 BFNs and 1 mc