Angel baby names - WARNING losses mentioned

mattandlora · June 2015

DH and I have lost 2 pregnancies, both very early (before 6 weeks). About a year ago, we decided to give both of them names. We usually don't like gender neutral names, or surnames for first names, but we did it with these. We each named one of the angel babies. I used a family surname for mine. He used a gender neutral name for his.

We recently had a big falling-out with the family member that the surname comes from. The relationship is irrepairable. We're thinking about changing the name. Thoughts / opinions? Did anyone else name angel babies? How did you select names?

holli0801 · June 2015

I get sentimental about names (like now that I have been calling my belly/unborn baby a name for so long, I just can't imagine changing). So, I don't know that I would change it if it were me. Just bc of the attachment. That said, it's hard for me to judge without knowing what happened (I'm sure some things would change my mind.. Just depends).

So Sorry for your losses.

mattandlora · June 2015

Without going into too much detail because investigation is on-going, it's the type of thing that would get this family member felony charges and a very long prison sentence. The name isn't after this family member, but comes from that side of the family.

holli0801 · June 2015

Oh okay. Since it's not just for that specific person, I would probably not change it personally. But again, I get attached!

mattandlora · June 2015

I definitely see your point. However, when I hear the name now, it makes me think of this family member, then makes me angry. This is the dilemma, and why DH and I are struggling with what to do.

NerdyLucy · June 2015

mattandlora said:

I definitely see your point. However, when I hear the name now, it makes me think of this family member, then makes me angry. This is the dilemma, and why DH and I are struggling with what to do.

Normally I agree with the issue of attachment since that is already the name, BUT if the name makes you think of this person and it causes you pain or anger, then maybe changing is best. You already have the pain of loss, you don't need more negativity.

queenwog · June 2015

I wouldn't worry about it. Just because one member of that part of the family may have a felony charge/conviction, doesn't mean they're all bad.

MixedBerries88 · June 2015

Wow, I'm sorry to hear all this. I would probably just let the name be, but if it bugs you that much, change it. I wouldn't want to feel sick to my gut every time I heard a name associated with my angel.

Sassenach1743 · June 2015

Do what's best for you and your husband. If changing the name will help you move on and disassociate then you should absolutely do it. I'm sure you have another family name you can use. So sorry for your losses.

Cocoasushi · June 2015

I say do what's best for you and your husband. We changed our angels name when we found out for sure he was a boy. He had many nicknames when he was still living and most were given to him by his big sister. When we assumed he was a girl we called him "Mavis" because that's what his big sister called him the most. We changed it to "Link" after genetic testing confirmed he was male as that had been the most commonly used male nickname he had.

ksteeb611 · June 2015

I think they were lost very early. Maybe naming them was more of a problem then it was worth it. I advise just to move on.

jezygal · June 2015

Maybe just give the baby a new nickname. We have jewlery ingraved and a memorial so I would never changed the name we chose. We used gender neutral names even though they are used mostly as girl names now. I never use names connected to someone that is still living just because you never know what might happen. But just do what you think is best for you, it's perfectly ok either way.

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Angel baby names - WARNING losses mentioned

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