Thank you card annoyance.

Brittpetitti · June 2015

We have lots of thank you cards. We bought them when we were about 5 months in. We plan on writing them. However my family wont stop bothering us to do so. The baby shower was Saturday. It hasn't been a week yet we both work and not to mention we haven't had time to everything away the majority of it is on our kitchen table.

They are crazy about it being done because my rude ungrateful sister in law never did. This whole pregnancy they have compared us to her and it's gotten very aggravating since we are nothing like her.

aresee · June 2015

Ugh. My shower was also Saturday and I just bought the thank you notes on Sunday. My only goal is to write them before baby arrives. But my MIL still complains about not getting one from her niece a year or two ago, so I'm going to put hers at the top of the stack.

Brittpetitti · June 2015

My mother too since everyone went out of their way to buy something she feels they should be done in the next week.

wheresilenceismusic · June 2015

It took me a month to write my thank you cards. My husband and I both work, he was on crutches for hip surgery and did not help with the cards, and... it just took time. No one blinked an eye. I think your family needs to chill out.

Brittpetitti · June 2015

Believe I wish. We both work as well I don't even have addresses for people. they constantly compare us to what my older brother and his so do/dId it's gotten very annoying

lindsaypkelly · June 2015

Thank you cards in general are an annoyance to me. I plan to hug and thank everyone in person at the shower, I don't understand why I need to thank them all again afterwards.

Plus my mom has planned my shower for two weeks before my due date so if they don't get done they don't get done.

Brittpetitti · June 2015

We had a lot of gifts be sent to us as well. So for some hugging can't be an option.
Which I did as well lol

lindsaypkelly · June 2015

Brittpetitti said:
We had a lot of gifts be sent to us as well. So for some hugging can't be an option.
Which I did as well lol

I just find them super impersonal especially if it was a very large shower. You just know almost everyone is getting a generic note written. In the event of gifts being sent to me I would prefer to make a phone call to thank that person as I've always done.

Brittpetitti · June 2015

lindsaypkelly said:

Brittpetitti said:
We had a lot of gifts be sent to us as well. So for some hugging can't be an option.
Which I did as well lol
I just find them super impersonal especially if it was a very large shower. You just know almost everyone is getting a generic note written. In the event of gifts being sent to me I would prefer to make a phone call to thank that person as I've always done.

Most of those people I don't know due to them being Co workers or friends of our parents it wasn't too big of a shower. We have a list of what people got us so they won't be to impersonal.

Miz_Liz · June 2015

lindsaypkelly said:

Thank you cards in general are an annoyance to me. I plan to hug and thank everyone in person at the shower, I don't understand why I need to thank them all again afterwards. Plus my mom has planned my shower for two weeks before my due date so if they don't get done they don't get done.

And people may have found spending money on you and taking time out of their busy schedule to go to your shower an annoyance too...have you really stopped and thought about what you are saying?? Do you realize how ungrateful it seems to people who have taken their time and money for you to not receive a hand written thank you card?? You can write a few a night until they are done, it isn't some huge inconvenience!

lindsaypkelly · June 2015

Miz_Liz said:

lindsaypkelly said:

Thank you cards in general are an annoyance to me. I plan to hug and thank everyone in person at the shower, I don't understand why I need to thank them all again afterwards.

Plus my mom has planned my shower for two weeks before my due date so if they don't get done they don't get done.

And people may have found spending money on you and taking time out of their busy schedule to go to your shower an annoyance too...have you really stopped and thought about what you are saying?? Do you realize how ungrateful it seems to people who have taken their time and money for you to not receive a hand written thank you card?? You can write a few a night until they are done, it isn't some huge inconvenience!

If they find it an annoyance then I would prefer they don't come.

As i said, I find the idea of cards to be impersonal and would rather place a phone call or say my thank yous in person.

I think you're getting a little carried away. I never said I wasn't grateful for anyone who takes the time to come celebrate with me. But let's be honest here, how many thank you cards or cards in general have you received in your life and how many did you hold on to or even remember what they said?

Miz_Liz · June 2015

lindsaypkelly said:

lindsaypkelly said:

Thank you cards in general are an annoyance to me. I plan to hug and thank everyone in person at the shower, I don't understand why I need to thank them all again afterwards. Plus my mom has planned my shower for two weeks before my due date so if they don't get done they don't get done.

And people may have found spending money on you and taking time out of their busy schedule to go to your shower an annoyance too...have you really stopped and thought about what you are saying?? Do you realize how ungrateful it seems to people who have taken their time and money for you to not receive a hand written thank you card?? You can write a few a night until they are done, it isn't some huge inconvenience!
If they find it an annoyance then I would prefer they don't come. As i said, I find the idea of cards to be impersonal and would rather place a phone call or say my thank yous in person. I think you're getting a little carried away. I never said I wasn't grateful for anyone who takes the time to come celebrate with me. But let's be honest here, how many thank you cards or cards in general have you received in your life and how many did you hold on to or even remember what they said?

I remember the gifts I gave for big events (shower, wedding, etc.) that I did NOT receive a thank you card for....and I remember who did not send them.

pandd10513 · June 2015

My shower was Saturday and I spent my day off today writing all the thank you cards. I'm a FTM and have no other distractions at home, so it was easy for me to get it all done at once.

My father and his wife didn't come to my shower, because they didn't feel like making the trip up for it. He called me the next day to 'see how it was' and then handed the phone to his wife so she could yell at me for not calling or texting her to say thank you the day of the shower. I was so shocked at what she was saying that I just said awkward thank you's for the things they bought us, but I was on the verge of tears because of how she was talking and what she was saying to me. So DH said I don't need to send them a thank you note as I was forced and yelled at to thank them over the phone the next day.

apetruck · June 2015

I agree a hand written thank you is expected by most. I still remember a friend whose wedding shower I helped throw...and later received no thank you card for the shower gift or the actual wedding gift and I was a bridesmaid. It still gets to me years later!

My brother didn't do thank you cards for his wedding a couple years ago (it was very small, too) and all my family still talks about it. It's just one of those etiquette faux pas you don't want to break unless you want people to think of that for years to come.

fghmama6701 · June 2015

Yes, they're an annoyance. Yes, they're a hassle. And yes, they are totally necessary!

Brittpetitti · June 2015

The only annoyance I'm finding in them is that we just had the shower and they expected to get done right away.

Miz_Liz · June 2015

Brittpetitti said:

The only annoyance I'm finding in them is that we just had the shower and they expected to get done right away.

That would annoy me too - they don't have to be IMMEDIATE, but I do find it easier to get them done sooner rather than later. Don't let your family get to you - you know you'll get them done, that's all that matters.

icanteven · June 2015

I hated having to write all those dang notes, but I wouldn't allow myself to put a present away until the note was sent. That forced my OCD nesting brain to make sure they got done in a timely manner.

Good luck OP! I hope everyone chills out on you soon!

LittleRue · June 2015

I send thank you notes because I like sending notes, it's the last personal thing we can do in the Internet era.... but I can care less if I get one. I buy someone a gift because I want to and it makes me happy, I don't need a card to thank me for doing something I wanted to do.

kinnieloo · June 2015

I think 3 -4 weeks after the shower is still acceptable to send them out !

Brittpetitti · June 2015

I've started a few since I got them a while ago. For me adding what they got us to there thank you card is important so it's not impersonal. A lot of people still appreciate receiving one. They didn't have to spend money one us, baby items aren't cheap.

mers90 · June 2015

I must say That I'm impressed of how important "thank you notes" are in the US, here you just say thank you when you open the gift and that's it!

miranda6275 · June 2015

If you struggle with what to write, do an internet search for "baby shower thank you wording" and you'll get tons of ideas. I got all of my thank yours out with a week or do of the shower so they were done and not hanging over my head. Did a few a night and felt great when they were done!

steeby · June 2015

my mom was very pushy about getting them done right away too. It was VERY annoying. We were in the middle of buying a new house, moving in, and I was still stressing about finding a better OB. I'd snap at her and tell her everyone knows that we are moving and they will understand if there is a delay! BUT, because of her pushing, I got them done faster than I normally would have and I am grateful for it because now I don't have to worry about them and can just move forward with nesting

also huge props to my mom for taking notes on who gave me what so I can personalize

dmh1687 · June 2015

It has been three weeks since my shower and I will be doing them this coming week. As a teacher trying to wrap up the school year, there is no other time I could have done it. I would be pretty livid if someone was harassing me about it.

krisclay86 · June 2015

My shower was last weekend I'm planning on buying thank you cards this coming weekend and filling them out but I'm not sending them out until after baby comes because I'm going to send everyone a picture of baby with their card.

Brittpetitti · June 2015

My sister wrote down who got what.

Knottie94895511 · June 2015

I had ny shower the very last weekend in April, my cards are still on my desk and you want to know why.... I am pregnant and have a 5 year old and guess what things take time. Dont let anyone steal your joy out of pregnancy and that is what stress does. Get them out to people but dont kill yourself trying to please everyone else

aresee · June 2015

Although I hate doing thank you notes for biggish events like a shower, I have to say that I'm a big proponent of personal thank you notes as often as possible. While I appreciate when my nieces say thank you for a birthday or Christmas gift, I always wish I could hear more about how it is once they get it back home and start playing with it or using it. I know it's not possible or reasonable to make kids write thank you notes for every little thing they receive, but I'm hoping when my kids are old enough to teach them to write personal thank you notes whenever possible and appropriate.

mrsrep123 · June 2015

I always try to send pics with personalized thank you cards... I had two baby showers (family & coworkers). Picked up the pictures from both yesterday and will write and send them out this weekend. I agree with OP, with the Internet and everything digital these days, I love to send notes via "snail" mail to show my appreciation!

visualcircus · June 2015

Wow I thought my mom was the only one that pushed me to get thank you cards out like that. After our wedding, she insisted I get them out before the honeymoon even though the thank you cards weren't printed yet, so I went and bought them their own card just to get them off my back. She asked about the TY cards every phone call multiple times.

For the baby shower although she wasn't there, that push was in the back of my mind and I got them all knocked out within a week. I'm glad I can relax and focus on other things however.

akanini · June 2015

My shower was on May 30th and I sent out my Thank You Cards on June 8th. I wrote a few cards a day which were were personalized (I got ideas off the internet). I had a BIG shower and I just felt the earlier the better since people took the time to buy my baby a gift and attend. I also got gifts/cards from those who couldn't make it.

Ajhaney · June 2015

She is entitled to her own opinion regardless of your thoughts so it's a little messed up that you're calling her ungrateful because she has a different way of thinking. Maybe her family and friends don't care about thank you cards either.

AlwaysSunny1012 · June 2015

My biggest issue with the thank you cards I am writing is I don't have anyone's current address. My friends did an evite and I didn't even think of the thank you card addresses until I sat down to write them. Now I feel like I am stalking people for their addresses and can't finish them and get them out until I have them all. It's been driving me nuts!

shmarpler · June 2015

icanteven said:
I hated having to write all those dang notes, but I wouldn't allow myself to put a present away until the note was sent. That forced my OCD nesting brain to make sure they got done in a timely manner. Good luck OP! I hope everyone chills out on you soon!

I did the same thing.

I remember when I got married someone told me that when you receive a gift before your wedding, thank you notes should be sent out within 2 weeks. After the wedding, they should be done within 2 months. I assumed that it would be similar for having a baby. Tomorrow will be 2 weeks after my shower and I only have one left to write.

Miz_Liz · June 2015

Ajhaney said:

She is entitled to her own opinion regardless of your thoughts so it's a little messed up that you're calling her ungrateful because she has a different way of thinking. Maybe her family and friends don't care about thank you cards either.

I am going to assume that you are directing this towards me, but it is hard to tell without a quote or anything....if that is the case you should go back and re-read what I wrote. At no point did I call her ungrateful, I said it SEEMS ungrateful to people who spent their time/money when they don't receive a thank you card. Of course she is entitled to her opinion - as am I.

zmombie · June 2015

lindsaypkelly said:
Thank you cards in general are an annoyance to me. I plan to hug and thank everyone in person at the shower, I don't understand why I need to thank them all again afterwards.

Plus my mom has planned my shower for two weeks before my due date so if they don't get done they don't get done.

My shower is 3 weeks from the c section, I hope to get the thank you cards out, but if I don't right away no one better get upset! Although no one in my circle would

lilbubb · June 2015

I'm waiting until the baby arrives. Take a picture of him with baby blocks spelling out thank you. Then mailing them. I feel that this way they are more inclined to keep them

LeannFran · June 2015

remember17 said:
I'm waiting until the baby arrives. Take a picture of him with baby blocks spelling out thank you. Then mailing them. I feel that this way they are more inclined to keep them

Perfect! We did something like this for our son's first birthday! People still have it hanging on fridges or on display in another way

Brittpetitti · June 2015

Ajhaney said:
She is entitled to her own opinion regardless of your thoughts so it's a little messed up that you're calling her ungrateful because she has a different way of thinking. Maybe her family and friends don't care about thank you cards either.

If youreveryone referring to me calling my sister in law ungrateful. She is. Not just because of thank you cards. It's her personality she's a dislikeable person.

kate5all · June 2015

I prioritize sincerity over timing. My shower was May 30th and I'm only halfway done with my thank-you's. It was a big party (Jack and Jill) and I'm writing a personalized note to each guest thanking them specifically for their gift (and anything they did to contribute to the party, like bringing food or helping with cleanup). I'm sure there are some older friends of the family who are scandalized that we didn't get the cards out within a week, but to me they're missing the point.

I'd much rather genuinely communicate appreciation than write the same three lines over and over and dump the cards at the post office "on time". To me, generic "thank you for the gift" notes are tacky and I'd just as soon not receive any card.

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Thank you card annoyance.

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