@mrscaterosales I tried to get out of having to unwrap presents at our upcoming shower. I despise being the center of attention and even the thought of it gives me horrible anxiety. My husband is all for it so I told him he gets to unwrap them. Lol!
I always hate the gift unwrapping part of the shower... it gets boring for the guests especially if you have a large shower (we are inviting 60+ people) and so I feel like I will need to hurry through so we aren't just sitting there forever (we only have the room booked for a couple hours) but I would rather either have a display shower so I can ooh and aww over gifts myself while still being able to spend time with family and friends (especially those who came from out of town and I don't get to see often) or open them at home with my DH where we can actually take time to appreciate the gift. I brought this up as an idea for my friend who is throwing my shower when I threw hers a couple years ago and she gave me serious side eye so I didn't bother bringing up that its what I would prefer. I like to think most people would appreciate not having to wrap a gift and sit through the opening gifts part though.
Lol. No, I probably wouldn't attend the shower as the gift opening is my favorite part. I would probably still send a, wrapped, gift to the mom to be later. Or if she was actually eco-conscious, wrapped in a blanket.
So, just to clarify, you wouldn't attend a friend's baby shower because it wasn't going to cater to *your* specific tastes even though you're an invited guest and not the honoree?
Because I personally would find it boring and tacky, yes.
Good Lord, I didn't say I was going to show up and throw a fit and start wrapping all the presents. You realize people decline to attend showers all tI'm right? Invitations are not summons.
Haha, 'show up and start wrapping all the presents' ) That gave me a good laugh!! Everyone attends for different reasons I'm sure, and I'm happy to enjoy the company of those people attending to spend time with me. I certainly wouldn't miss the company of anyone who was attending just to watch me unwrap presents.
Great idea! I say go for it. Not heard of it before. Plus the fact your holding it in a park seems much more convenient for them not to be wrapped and the eco friendly thing too, bonus!
It's a good idea just like others have said. Would you not like just a few to open on the day? As much as I don't like being centre of attention I do like seeing people's faces when you are opening their gifts. At my gender reveal party I never asked anyone to bring gifts of course a few people did & the joy on their faces as I opened their gifts was priceless. Even though I got a little red faced so to say as all eyes were on me.
Truthfully I am a little surprised at the overwhelming positive reaction to the display shower. Showers have been a touchy subject on our board though but I guess I will wade on in anyway. :-)
I think any sort of instruction for the gift giver - beyond the socially acceptable registry, or stating no gifts, is not polite. Less glamorous gifts, less cutesty gifts, and less expensive gifts can all be made more adorable by adding creative wrapping. I think it is kind of greedy to ask for gifts this way. (I also think this of parties that ask for books instead of cards.) I am sharing my opinion because the thread was an open call for opinions.
I didn't open my shower presents at my shower - and trust me no one missed it. The tea room where my shower was held was booked after mine and I wanted to spend time with my guests and giggling over the games rather than opening gifts. So we extended an invitation for anyone who wanted to share the gift opening could drive a short distance to an "after party" at my family's home to watch me open gifts. About 7 of the 27 or so guests came over and did the whole ooo and ahh part while I opened gifts. The rest looked relieved they could enjoy their tea and yummies, hug me, giggle and catch up, then be on their way.
I totally get trying to skip the unwrapping part of the shower but for people who don't have a lot to spend, it might feel like an embarrassment to see their small unwrapped gift throughout the whole affair. Every person there will be thinking, their gift is noticed by all. And what about the $5 more spent on gift than on gift wrap? That seems a bit gift grabby to me. If the gift is from the giver then they should get to decide how to divvy up the funds. This seems like a demanding sort of party and no different than the people who are unhappy about getting stuff that is different than what they registered for and so on.
If it has to be done this way, can the gift table be in a different room?
I would still go to your shower with my unwrapped gift but I would be watching the reactions of the guests to see what it was (would some people keep pointing out what they brought to other guests? would some people ignore the gift table?), and I would be wondering to myself if it kept less affluent guests away.
Regardless, I wish you a happy showering! If there is any stress or drama surrounding your party style, I hope it stays well away from you and you sail through enjoying every second of it!
Truthfully I am a little surprised at the overwhelming positive reaction to the display shower. Showers have been a touchy subject on our board though but I guess I will wade on in anyway. :-)
I think any sort of instruction for the gift giver - beyond the socially acceptable registry, or stating no gifts, is not polite. Less glamorous gifts, less cutesty gifts, and less expensive gifts can all be made more adorable by adding creative wrapping. I think it is kind of greedy to ask for gifts this way. (I also think this of parties that ask for books instead of cards.) I am sharing my opinion because the thread was an open call for opinions.
I didn't open my shower presents at my shower - and trust me no one missed it. The tea room where my shower was held was booked after mine and I wanted to spend time with my guests and giggling over the games rather than opening gifts. So we extended an invitation for anyone who wanted to share the gift opening could drive a short distance to an "after party" at my family's home to watch me open gifts. About 7 of the 27 or so guests came over and did the whole ooo and ahh part while I opened gifts. The rest looked relieved they could enjoy their tea and yummies, hug me, giggle and catch up, then be on their way.
I totally get trying to skip the unwrapping part of the shower but for people who don't have a lot to spend, it might feel like an embarrassment to see their small unwrapped gift throughout the whole affair. Every person there will be thinking, their gift is noticed by all. And what about the $5 more spent on gift than on gift wrap? That seems a bit gift grabby to me. If the gift is from the giver then they should get to decide how to divvy up the funds. This seems like a demanding sort of party and no different than the people who are unhappy about getting stuff that is different than what they registered for and so on.
If it has to be done this way, can the gift table be in a different room?
I would still go to your shower with my unwrapped gift but I would be watching the reactions of the guests to see what it was (would some people keep pointing out what they brought to other guests? would some people ignore the gift table?), and I would be wondering to myself if it kept less affluent guests away.
Regardless, I wish you a happy showering! If there is any stress or drama surrounding your party style, I hope it stays well away from you and you sail through enjoying every second of it!
As someone who may not be able to afford an extravagant gift, personally I think I would prefer a display table to everyone sitting and watching the mom to be open my gift and potentially judging and comparing my gift to others. With a display table I would think less attention would be drawn to the gifts in general. Although I do sort of understand where you are coming from on getting all the instructions on what to bring... getting that invitation and seeing basically a list of things I need to do can be a bit overwhelming, I've gotten an invite that had the book instead of card, diaper raffle, dinner sign up and wearing pink or blue to show your guess for sex of the baby all on one invite and I wanted to skip the whole damn thing.
@verveine407 thanks for your input! I do get what you're saying and was open to a variety of opinions. It is a unique request, so I was also surprised (but happy) about such incredibly positive feedback. I'm sure some people will still wrap their gifts, and I don't mind just going with the flow, if I have to unwrap a few gifts then I will. I certainly wouldn't dictate how anyone's money is spent if they prefer to put something small or inexpensive into a little cutesie bag, I just feel bad throwing their money into the trash. Every shower that I've gone to had a 'trash person' standing next to the mom-to-be just piling all the tissue and wrapping paper into a big trash bag, and it felt like such a waste. We are going to include the little corny poem with the invite, with a focus on spending more time together as a group and less time on a big unwrapping ordeal, but I think it's fair to say something simple like 'no wrapping is necessary' and then just see how it goes. Thank you for the well wishes and the different perspective :-bd
I have to agree @hatchback4g that it's a little embarrassing having all eyes on me when I have given an extremely modest gift at a party. I really like the idea of the gift table display and look forward to seeing how it goes! My friend is usually quite the party-planner so I imagine her doing this in a very tasteful way. We shall see!
It's a good idea just like others have said. Would you not like just a few to open on the day? As much as I don't like being centre of attention I do like seeing people's faces when you are opening their gifts. At my gender reveal party I never asked anyone to bring gifts of course a few people did & the joy on their faces as I opened their gifts was priceless. Even though I got a little red faced so to say as all eyes were on me.
Definitely don't mind opening a few gifts if people bring them wrapped up, I'll be flexible and just hope for the best :-)
I really like the idea but I don't know if it would fly where I'm from. I'd suggest it to my hosts anyway just to see what they think, but the invites went out yesterday.Women tend to enjoy the unwrapping part and passing the gifts around to see all the cute stuff. Then it winds up on a display table when all is said and done so people can still pass by and look at everything.
Thankfully, I've never been to a shower where people were judgmental about the gifts. I personally am humbled by the fact that the guests care enough about my husband and myself to show up and support us, and I would never look down on a more modest gift. Those usually mean the most.
One thing I know for sure is that we are staying away from the traditional games. I have one cousin who always has a fit about this (we didn't do them for my wedding shower either), but everyone else is always happy to skip them.
I couldn't be more IN LOVE with this idea! And now I'm sad that this is my 3rd baby and I won't be having a shower...lol I absolutely hate wrapping gifts and I'm also not a fan of being the center of attention so this would be the perfect solution.
My cousin had a baby shower this way but had us wrap in see through cellophane. It was strange to me because I like to see the reaction to my gift but it works and let us all socialize. Even for their sons first birthday they did not open gifts and the party. I had made this gorgeous quilt and wanted to see reaction lol I know selfish but we went back to their house after where they fid open the gifts. Anyway sorry for my rant lol I liked the idea but my mother shot me down for this coming shower
@dmland17 Region changes what is socially acceptable for sure, and I know some women do enjoy unwrapping gifts for the fun of it. I'm all for that if mama enjoys it. Like you said, it all ends up on a display table for people to admire anyway...just skipping the paper waste and everyone staring at us while we unwrap it works best for me and hubby. I'll absolutely take the time to show appreciation for each gift. Thanks for your input as well!
@PrincessPiper My best friend and MIL are so sweet, they've assured me this will be done in a tasteful way that everyone will enjoy. I'll get pics and update you on how it turns out!! I'm more excited for all my sisters to be here from out of state than anything :-)
I think that anything that requires a cutesy poem is probably better left off an invitation. Stipulations should not be made on gifts. It's just rude, not to mention that gifts really should never be mentioned in an invitation either. It's just poor etiquette.
If you really hate being the center of attention that much that you can't graciously open gifts that people have taken the time to shop for, then you really should just forego the shower, since gift giving is basically the sole purpose of that event.
I'd probably triple wrap a gift using duct tape if I received an invitation like that. Rudeness disguised with a cute poem is still rudeness. As my nana used to say, you can put lipstick on a pig, but it's still a pig.
I think that anything that requires a cutesy poem is probably better left off an invitation. Stipulations should not be made on gifts. It's just rude, not to mention that gifts really should never be mentioned in an invitation either. It's just poor etiquette.
If you really hate being the center of attention that much that you can't graciously open gifts that people have taken the time to shop for, then you really should just forego the shower, since gift giving is basically the sole purpose of that event.
I'd probably triple wrap a gift using duct tape if I received an invitation like that. Rudeness disguised with a cute poem is still rudeness. As my nana used to say, you can put lipstick on a pig, but it's still a pig.
Hi stranger. Are you new here to S15? What's your due date?
To each their own, right? Having been a guest at baby showers, I have to say the gift opening is also my least favorite part, and after an hour or so, it's kinda boring for me. I go to showers to give an expecting mother a gift, but also to socialize. At the end of the day though, when it's not my baby shower, the shower isn't about me. So even if the card and gift opening takes a couple hours, or we play some games that I think are silly, I participate (in whatever way is appropriate) because I care about my friends and I'm really happy to celebrate with them, plus the food's usually pretty good.
I guess for me, I don't go to showers with expectations other than to show my support for the mom to be. And I've never felt that showing up was a waste of my time.
@CEB37 while I do appreciate opinions different from my own, I'm also very thankful that I don't have friends like you attending my shower. My dear friends and family know me and they are attempting to throw a party that suits me and my husband, not some rude guest who doesn't like the way we display the gifts. I honestly would be just as happy if no gifts were involved at all, the idea of the party is not only gift-giving, it is getting together with family that I rarely see because they are scattered all over the country (in my case, not in every case). If someone came to the party with a spitefully triple-wrapped gift as you describe, I would gladly have their bitter a$$ thrown out of the party and never speak to them again. If someone brings a thoughtfully wrapped gift, I will open it and thank them and then set it on the display table for all to enjoy.
I was thinking about it and I'm totally for this idea, but won't it be hard for the guest who are buying multiple outfits and or small objects to be able to display them and to still know who they are from?
chelseajeanene has a good point, the hosts will have to come up with a good system to keep everything organized. That aspect makes it slightly more complicated than a traditional opening-gifts shower.
mrscaterosales, I think you have the right attitude about this! As long as you're willing to open any wrapped gifts, I think it's fine. You might have some older/more traditional relatives who want to wrap things.
And for those for object to putting something in the invitation, could the hosts spread the idea of a "green" and "display" shower by word-of-mouth? I feel like that wouldn't be rude.
Both excellent points @chelseajeanene and @rachelkawesome I'll see what she has in mind for organization, and I'm sure she can come up with something that works. I saw some cute things on Pinterest, just bundles of clothes wrapped in blankets or tied with ribbon etc. Definitely don't mind bags and boxes, I just don't want two hours of our four hour party to be sitting in a chair unwrapping stuff, but we'll play it by ear so that we don't come off as unappreciative. I will also see if the word of mouth idea works for our large group. I'm not opposed to putting a little note in the envelope, but word of mouth is definitely less insistent (if that's the right word?) Thanks for the suggestions!
@CEB37 while I do appreciate opinions different from my own, I'm also very thankful that I don't have friends like you attending my shower. My dear friends and family know me and they are attempting to throw a party that suits me and my husband, not some rude guest who doesn't like the way we display the gifts. I honestly would be just as happy if no gifts were involved at all, the idea of the party is not only gift-giving, it is getting together with family that I rarely see because they are scattered all over the country (in my case, not in every case). If someone came to the party with a spitefully triple-wrapped gift as you describe, I would gladly have their bitter a$$ thrown out of the party and never speak to them again. If someone brings a thoughtfully wrapped gift, I will open it and thank them and then set it on the display table for all to enjoy.
So, you don't ACTUALLY want to hear differing opinions. Gotcha.
DS1: BFP 04/03/11 | EDD 12/02/11 | born 11/21/11 DS2: BFP 02/09/13 | EDD 10/26/13 | said goodbye 06/02/13
The shower police are coming out of the woodworks! I think they get a notification when anyone creates a thread containing the word 'Shower'. Or search for them. Sounds lame!
Thanks @mybabynumber2 I think some people get confused about what you're asking for when you ask for opinions. Most of our S15 ladies don't, and that's why I love our group. I'll enjoy the party either way and appreciate any gift that is given to us, no matter how it's wrapped.
@NoSugarCoating I do want to hear different opinions and viewpoints, I'm fine with people saying they don't like the idea, or wouldn't want me dictating how they wrap a gift. No problem with that at all. It's a little rude for someone to say they would spitefully triple wrap a gift just because they disagree with how gifts will be displayed. If you truly think that's just an honest opinion from a stranger and not a full-on bitchy move, then there is no point in even sharing how you feel with me. In that case, then no, your 'opinion' isn't important to me.
The shower police are coming out of the woodworks! I think they get a notification when anyone creates a thread containing the word 'Shower'. Or search for them. Sounds lame!
@princesspiper No it doesn't lol, there's deffo something in the words 'baby showers' that brings out some serious unicorn farts. Haha
The shower police are coming out of the woodworks! I think they get a notification when anyone creates a thread containing the word 'Shower'. Or search for them. Sounds lame!
@CEB37 while I do appreciate opinions different from my own, I'm also very thankful that I don't have friends like you attending my shower. My dear friends and family know me and they are attempting to throw a party that suits me and my husband, not some rude guest who doesn't like the way we display the gifts. I honestly would be just as happy if no gifts were involved at all, the idea of the party is not only gift-giving, it is getting together with family that I rarely see because they are scattered all over the country (in my case, not in every case). If someone came to the party with a spitefully triple-wrapped gift as you describe, I would gladly have their bitter a$$ thrown out of the party and never speak to them again. If someone brings a thoughtfully wrapped gift, I will open it and thank them and then set it on the display table for all to enjoy.
So, you don't ACTUALLY want to hear differing opinions. Gotcha.
There's a bit of a difference between giving an opinion and being rude.
I'm just happy our board is respectful of one another and when we rarely get rude responses it's ladies outside of our birth club. Cate and I have disagreed on a couple subjects but we always were respectful with each other! After all, isn't this how mothers and moms to be should interact with one another? In a respectable manner? Cate isn't saying her hostesses are going to be demanding or pushy in requesting that the presents people choose to bring remain unwrapped, it's just a SUGGESTION. She even said multiple times that she'd appreciate any gift, wrapped or unwrapped, and would gladly unwrap presents from guests who decided to wrap anyways.
Some people just get a kick out of posting strongly worded/inflammatory opinions on these boards. My guess is they know how to respectfully disagree, but they don't want to. That's my take anyway. As soon as a shower thread gets started, it's just a matter of time, that shower police train is never late!
I'm just happy our board is respectful of one another and when we rarely get rude responses it's ladies outside of our birth club. Cate and I have disagreed on a couple subjects but we always were respectful with each other! After all, isn't this how mothers and moms to be should interact with one another? In a respectable manner? Cate isn't saying her hostesses are going to be demanding or pushy in requesting that the presents people choose to bring remain unwrapped, it's just a SUGGESTION. She even said multiple times that she'd appreciate any gift, wrapped or unwrapped, and would gladly unwrap presents from guests who decided to wrap anyways.
Really? B/c I don't generally feel respected by a select couple member of this board, and I "go here" - 9/20. I'm not quite getting all of what seem like inside jokes about unicorns, but I'm starting to grasp that they think people have multiple accounts or something? Just because more than one person disagrees with them?
I've stayed out of this discussion since I've been clear in the past about being pretty traditional when it comes to showers. However, if I got a request to bring an unwrapped gift, I would see it as a gift grab. If people can take the time to research and buy gifts for you, the least I can give them is 2 minutes of undivided attention on it as I open it.
I just want to know why the etiquette police care so, so much about all aspects of other people's baby showers. At the end of the day, they're not remotely affected by the wording on the shower invitation of a woman they've never met, so why is so much vitriol directed at strangers? Surely, Emily Post would never have approved of this sort of carrying-on and ill-mannered behavior.
I'm just happy our board is respectful of one another and when we rarely get rude responses it's ladies outside of our birth club. Cate and I have disagreed on a couple subjects but we always were respectful with each other! After all, isn't this how mothers and moms to be should interact with one another? In a respectable manner? Cate isn't saying her hostesses are going to be demanding or pushy in requesting that the presents people choose to bring remain unwrapped, it's just a SUGGESTION. She even said multiple times that she'd appreciate any gift, wrapped or unwrapped, and would gladly unwrap presents from guests who decided to wrap anyways.
Really? B/c I don't generally feel respected by a select couple member of this board, and I "go here" - 9/20. I'm not quite getting all of what seem like inside jokes about unicorns, but I'm starting to grasp that they think people have multiple accounts or something? Just because more than one person disagrees with them?
I've stayed out of this discussion since I've been clear in the past about being pretty traditional when it comes to showers. However, if I got a request to bring an unwrapped gift, I would see it as a gift grab. If people can take the time to research and buy gifts for you, the least I can give them is 2 minutes of undivided attention on it as I open it.
If you think this is bad, you should see what we say when we're not on this board! 8-}
Re: Opinions on "Display" Baby Shower
I think the display is a great idea. I don't like watching people open gifts and I really hate when people want me to open stuff in front of a crowd
Enjoy!! x
I think any sort of instruction for the gift giver - beyond the socially acceptable registry, or stating no gifts, is not polite. Less glamorous gifts, less cutesty gifts, and less expensive gifts can all be made more adorable by adding creative wrapping. I think it is kind of greedy to ask for gifts this way. (I also think this of parties that ask for books instead of cards.) I am sharing my opinion because the thread was an open call for opinions.
I didn't open my shower presents at my shower - and trust me no one missed it. The tea room where my shower was held was booked after mine and I wanted to spend time with my guests and giggling over the games rather than opening gifts. So we extended an invitation for anyone who wanted to share the gift opening could drive a short distance to an "after party" at my family's home to watch me open gifts. About 7 of the 27 or so guests came over and did the whole ooo and ahh part while I opened gifts. The rest looked relieved they could enjoy their tea and yummies, hug me, giggle and catch up, then be on their way.
I totally get trying to skip the unwrapping part of the shower but for people who don't have a lot to spend, it might feel like an embarrassment to see their small unwrapped gift throughout the whole affair. Every person there will be thinking, their gift is noticed by all. And what about the $5 more spent on gift than on gift wrap? That seems a bit gift grabby to me. If the gift is from the giver then they should get to decide how to divvy up the funds. This seems like a demanding sort of party and no different than the people who are unhappy about getting stuff that is different than what they registered for and so on.
If it has to be done this way, can the gift table be in a different room?
I would still go to your shower with my unwrapped gift but I would be watching the reactions of the guests to see what it was (would some people keep pointing out what they brought to other guests? would some people ignore the gift table?), and I would be wondering to myself if it kept less affluent guests away.
Regardless, I wish you a happy showering! If there is any stress or drama surrounding your party style, I hope it stays well away from you and you sail through enjoying every second of it!
I have to agree @hatchback4g that it's a little embarrassing having all eyes on me when I have given an extremely modest gift at a party. I really like the idea of the gift table display and look forward to seeing how it goes! My friend is usually quite the party-planner so I imagine her doing this in a very tasteful way. We shall see!
@PrincessPiper My best friend and MIL are so sweet, they've assured me this will be done in a tasteful way that everyone will enjoy. I'll get pics and update you on how it turns out!! I'm more excited for all my sisters to be here from out of state than anything :-)
If you really hate being the center of attention that much that you can't graciously open gifts that people have taken the time to shop for, then you really should just forego the shower, since gift giving is basically the sole purpose of that event.
I'd probably triple wrap a gift using duct tape if I received an invitation like that. Rudeness disguised with a cute poem is still rudeness. As my nana used to say, you can put lipstick on a pig, but it's still a pig.
I totally stole your joke bc I loved it!!
Ooooh, maybe @CEB37 is thinking of using that cute new designer duct tape with adorable designs...
DS2: BFP 02/09/13 | EDD 10/26/13 | said goodbye 06/02/13
Cate, just enjoy it luv and do as you feel. :-)
@NoSugarCoating I do want to hear different opinions and viewpoints, I'm fine with people saying they don't like the idea, or wouldn't want me dictating how they wrap a gift. No problem with that at all. It's a little rude for someone to say they would spitefully triple wrap a gift just because they disagree with how gifts will be displayed. If you truly think that's just an honest opinion from a stranger and not a full-on bitchy move, then there is no point in even sharing how you feel with me. In that case, then no, your 'opinion' isn't important to me.
There's a bit of a difference between giving an opinion and being rude.
Just saying lol ...
Really? B/c I don't generally feel respected by a select couple member of this board, and I "go here" - 9/20. I'm not quite getting all of what seem like inside jokes about unicorns, but I'm starting to grasp that they think people have multiple accounts or something? Just because more than one person disagrees with them? I've stayed out of this discussion since I've been clear in the past about being pretty traditional when it comes to showers. However, if I got a request to bring an unwrapped gift, I would see it as a gift grab. If people can take the time to research and buy gifts for you, the least I can give them is 2 minutes of undivided attention on it as I open it.
Really? B/c I don't generally feel respected by a select couple member of this board, and I "go here" - 9/20. I'm not quite getting all of what seem like inside jokes about unicorns, but I'm starting to grasp that they think people have multiple accounts or something? Just because more than one person disagrees with them?
I've stayed out of this discussion since I've been clear in the past about being pretty traditional when it comes to showers. However, if I got a request to bring an unwrapped gift, I would see it as a gift grab. If people can take the time to research and buy gifts for you, the least I can give them is 2 minutes of undivided attention on it as I open it.
If you think this is bad, you should see what we say when we're not on this board! 8-}