April 2015 Moms

Letting baby cry

My 8 week old cries a lot from gas and when over tired. It makes getting out difficult. She also has trouble sleeping around people talking as the voices make her stay awake. She can really fight sleep. Everyone keeps telling me to just let her cry. I hate letting her cry. She screams and turns beet red and chokes herself. I refuse to let this happen. I feel its wrong. She's a newborn with no way of helping herself. My mother-in-law, mom, sisters, all keep telling me to let her cry. Am I wrong to not believe in doing so? What can I tell them to make them understand?

Re: Letting baby cry

  • Have you tried the 5 Ss? Google Harvey Karp. He has a lot of research against crying it out and the 5Ss help calm our baby when fussy. Especially swaddling and the side hold. Worth a try! And info you can share with your family members.
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  • I've read that babies don't learn to self soothe until 4 months, so letting them cry it out won't work and is ineffective.
  • You can not spoil a newborn. By answering their cries you are helping them feel securely attached. Creating that bond is going to aid their development later on. Trust your instincts.
  • I don't let my son cry it out either but once I had no choice but to. I was driving and nowhere to safely pull over so he cried for almost 15 min before there was a spot to pull over. That was the first time he cried and cried and not only did I feel awful but I was thinking about when everyone tells me to let him cry and he'll stop on his own. I guess they would fall asleep eventually but my own opinion is I think it's mean. If you could soothe them, then soothe them
  • @shrkfan, I had the same experience this morning. Although I couldn't pick LO up and soothe him, I spoke to him the entire time to reassure him that I was there - as I am sure you were doing.
  • Always always stick with your gut feeling, she is YOUR baby and you know her best so I wouldn't be listening to what anyone else had to say if it doesn't feel right for you. Also, you're not supposed to let a newborn "cry it out" as they are crying for a specific reason not just attention like an older baby might, they are too young to understand that just yet.
  • I am having the same issue and my dr told me I am suppose to put him down when tired and let him figure out how to soothe him. This is my second child and it doesn't work. He will cry for an hour if I let him and it's not whining, it's crying and screaming. Yesterday he refused to sleep from 3pm on until 9pm after hours of crying and screaming, even when being held, rocked and everything the 5s's say. It's very very stressful and hard.
  • Only you know your baby. Mine for example has a certain cry that I can tell is when he is tired and fighting sleep and if I let him cry he is out like a light in five minutes. If he's gassy or hungry or wants to be held then I pick him up. Figure out what works for you. I find white noise helpful when he's over tired too.
  • Follow your mommy instincts! Don't listen to anyone else, do what's right for you and your baby! A newborn can't be spoiled and doesn't know how to self soothe yet, DD is #3 for me and I know it's so hard listening to them cry when you have no idea what to do for them, but sometimes they just need to cry and need you to hold them so they know that you're there. Put her in a carrier, try some gripe water for gas, do what you need to do. It's just a phase and soon it will be over, you're doing a great job!
  • edited June 2015
    My baby had similar issues with gas and also vomiting that would affect his ability to sleep, make him fussy, crying etc. I didn't let him cry it out because I could tell something was wrong, he was in pain and uncomfortable. I brought it up with pedi and he diagnosed him with reflux and prescribed a medication. My baby is sleeping much better and doesn't appear to be in pain/uncomfortable anymore. Something to look into.

    Dealing with a fussy baby is tough. Good luck mama!
  • @ewilson74 sorry just saw this! Yes, talking, singing, making random sounds!! Lol
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