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Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
New to board after second m/c
Hi ladies,
This is my first time posting on the board but after reading all the other posts I feel so much better knowing that I'm not alone in dealing with this loss. I had an ectopic pregnancy in November at 6 weeks & I just found out I had a missed miscarriage at 9 weeks on Monday. I had a midwife appointment on Monday & when she couldn't find the heartbeat, she recommended an u/s but told us that she wasn't worried at all. My husband & I went for the ultrasound without a single worry & were shocked to find out that the baby stopped developing at 7 weeks. We are both pretty heartbroken, however, since this is the second loss we do feel a bit more hopeful than last time. Anyways, I do have a question. I have had no symptoms of a miscarriage (bleeding, cramping, etc) and I feel so weird knowing that I still have this in me. My midwife recommended that I wait and have a natural miscarriage, however, I don't know if I have it in me to wait around for it. I have always been a pretty natural girl and I hate the idea of taking drugs or having surgery but I'm looking for some closure now. The idea of a D&E is sounding better every minute. I would love to hear about others' experiences with symptomless miscarriages. Thank-you!!
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Re: New to board after second m/c
I am also so sorry for your losses.
I found out at 11 weeks that the baby did not have a heartbeat, the baby measured 10w4d. Like you, I had no symptoms whatsoever, a fact that still weighs on my mind. I was advised, given how far along I was, that a D&C would be a better option than waiting it out. I had the procedure the following day. I know that for me it was the right choice both emotionally and physically.
Don't hesitate to ask questions about the procedure here, you will find an outpouring of support.
DD born 4/3/10 BFP 4/9/11 missed mc @10w4d- forever loved
BFP 8/21/11 EDD 4/29/12
I'm so sorry for your loss. I had a missed miscarriage 6 weeks ago, and just like you, had no symptoms. I opted to take the medication to induce the physical miscarriage, because I couldn't bear the idea of waiting for my body to finally recognize the loss.
It's not an easy decision to make, but whatever you decide will be right for you. My advice is to take it day by day, and if things don't progress and you can't bear to wait any longer, you can then decide to have the surgery or take the medication. No one will judge you for wanting closure.
I am so sorry for your losses. I have had 3 consecutive missed miscarriages, most recent one was 3 weeks ago, and had D&Cs for all of them. My doctor told me that it could take weeks to naturally miscarry and he was worried about infection, so we opted for the D&C. I was very scared the first time I had one as I didn't know what to expect, but the truth is it is a very simple and short procedure. I had practically no cramping afterwards and bled lightly for about 2 weeks afterwards. For me personally I couldn't bear the thought of weeks going by and not knowing when or where it could happen, not to mention walking around knowing that my baby was gone but still inside me. I needed "closure" and the D&C was the quickest option. I just wanted my body to get back to normal as soon as possible so we can try again.
At the end of the day you need to do what is right for you. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Good luck.
I'm so sorry for your loss.Here's what I did in case there is anything helpful for you in my decision making:
I chose to have a D&C the day the miscarriage was confirmed at 10w6d (baby stopped growing somewhere around 8w). I had already spent one night in mild pain from cramps without any progress (in fact the bleeding stopped overnight) and I had an event I was supposed to work 48 hours after we had our miscarriage confirmed. I was scared of having to pass the pregnancy at the event or of having sudden bleeding.
I also wanted to avoid carrying the pregnancy any longer once I knew it wasn't viable. It felt like I was taking a step in the direction of healing if I could go home that day already having finished the physical part of the miscarriage.
The procedure was pretty uncomfortable for me, but it didn't take that long so the discomfort was short. I still feel like it was the right choice for me.
BFP#1 April 12, 2011, EDD December 24, 2011, strong heart beat at 7w3d, d&c at 10w6d
BFP#2 Oct 24, 2011, natural miscarriage, EDD unknown
After RPL testing my losses and subsequent infertility are considered unexplained.
Cycle #22: Femara, TI, and progesterone = BFP!!
BFP#3 Dec 21, 2012. Beta #1 @14dpo = 134, progesterone 67.8. Beta #2 @ 17dpo = 664! Team green, EDD 9/1/13, healthy baby boy born 9/12/13!
Congratulations to the fabulous KGS2003! Her sweet boys are here! Grow boys grow!!!
I'm very sorry that you are going through this!
I had a natural miscarriage on June 6, and it was horrible. I started bleeding on Sunday night, and was up all night because of the pain (although I didn't use a heating pad because just in case there was still a baby there I didn't want to overheat it). Monday morning the pain got better, but by my doctor's appointment that afternoon it was excrutiating. I have never felt anything like it...I could hardly move. I think the D&C would have been better in that respect, based on what friends have told me of theirs (although I am not a doctor, and I only have a few friends that have had this procedure). BUT my hormones did go down really quickly (going in for my last betas test Friday to make sure it's at 0). I don't know if this is because I naturally miscarried, but I guess it's possible.
I had no idea the baby had died when I miscarried...my first appointment wasn't supposed to be until that Friday. I don't know if it had just passed or if that had happened weeks before...if I had known my little alien was no longer viable, I probably would have had the D&C so I could start emotionally healing.
Good luck to you...sending thoughts and prayers your way!
I'm so sorry for your loss.
I found this board to be incredibly helpful when I miscarried back in Feb. I hope you find the same support here.My miscarriage wasn't 100% symptom free but I'll share my experience in case it helps.
I was due to go in for my first doctor's appointment at 10 weeks. The day before my first appointment I felt an odd sensation, ran to the bathroom and saw a lot of blood (sorry if TMI). I didn't hurt, had no cramping, but I knew something was wrong. I went in that afternoon for an us and had bloodwork done. I went back 2 days later and my doctor confirmed the miscarriage. I was 10 weeks but the baby was showing at 6 weeks. I remember praying that a heartbeat would suddenly appear. Still no cramping or bleeding other than the one incident. My doctor told me that my hormones were still high and my body still thought I was pregnant. He recommended a D&C so I wouldn't need to wait to miscarry naturally.
I went back and forth for several days trying to decide what to do. My doctor made the D&C sound so easy, but I was really worried because it was still surgery and required a trip to the hospital and anesthesia. I was afraid I'd feel guilty about taking "the easy way out" (my thoughts... no one ever said that to me). At the same time, I felt miserable and I wanted closure. I decided to do a D&C and was really nervous. The procedure happened 10 days after my initial bleed. I spotted really lightly for about 3 days prior but never experienced pain or cramping. I had a really positive D&C experience: the surgery went well, the hospital was great and I didn't spot or have any pain afterward. I took a few days off of work but I felt fine (physically) the day after surgery. I think the D&C allowed me to heal emotionally because I didn't have the agony of waiting even longer to pass things on my own.
I can relate to your want for closure and I hope you find it no matter which direction you decide to take.