Gender Reveal party opinions...

debstrobel · June 2015

Okay, so I know this is a new trend, but its something I'm interested in doing. But here's the thing, some of the older people on both my husband and I's side keep telling us not to find out the sex till birth. Especially grandparents, and even his dad is pretty firm on the idea of waiting. I understand they didn't find out till birth back when they were having children, but I feel like if we want to know, then we will find out and we shouldn't be judged for that.
So here's my main question, do you think a gender reveal party is appropriate/a good idea? I've read some people think it's tacky because it makes people feel entitled to bring a gift, but I'm not looking for gifts, I just want to celebrate knowing the sex of our little one with our families. I'm not sure about going forward with it because not everyone seems to be in agreement with us finding out. Opinions?

Karenin · June 2015

I personally don't like them b/c I feel like how many times do we need to celebrate the baby- showers, gender reveals, the actual birth, etc. However, that's when I'm invited to like a big party. If it's just family that's fine if it's something you want to do. If your family members are being rude (which by expressing opinions about finding out the gender I think they are) you can always do it just with you and DH- I know a couple who went to breakfast and had the cook make pancakes and makes strawberry ones if it was a girl and blueberry if it was a boy. That's one way you and your DH can celebrate without annoying opinions!

monaclemere · June 2015

My opinion is that they're unnecessary and tacky. There seems to be an excessive need to celebrate every little thing. No one cares as much as the parents, so why not do a cute gender announcement on Facebook or something?

Monilee1017 · June 2015

I think they are unnecessary and attention seeking. I feel if you want to find out the sex you should find out, but don't have a party to tell people. I have been invited to them and gone to none. I don't care enough about the sex of your child to take hours out of my day to have you tell me.

SummerOH · June 2015

I really hate reveal parties. I think the Me generation goes way too far (I'm part of that generation). Why not invite the families over for dinner and surprise them with a dessert? A formal party is too much, but a casual get together to surprise them would be cute.

danasphillips · June 2015

monaclemere said:
My opinion is that they're unnecessary and tacky. There seems to be an excessive need to celebrate every little thing. No one cares as much as the parents, so why not do a cute gender announcement on Facebook or something?

Agreed.

debstrobel · June 2015

Well, that solves that, thanks for the opinions ladies, I was just interested in having close family because this is the first grandchild on both sides of the family and they are excited and it took us years to concieve so this is a big deal for us and our families, but apparently none of you feel like it's a big deal. Thanks for being so kind.

cyanope · June 2015

That's what you risk when you ask people what their opinions are, @debstrobel! True and honest answers!

I personally think a reveal party is cute, if you do it with JUST family and really close friends. I'll do something small with my family, because they will be super excited to find out. We have family dinner (all 5 siblings, their kids/SO's, my parents, and my grandpa) every Sunday, so we'll just roll it into one of our regular dinners. If you think your family would love it and be excited, then I say go for it!

danasphillips · June 2015

debstrobel said:
Well, that solves that, thanks for the opinions ladies, I was just interested in having close family because this is the first grandchild on both sides of the family and they are excited and it took us years to concieve so this is a big deal for us and our families, but apparently none of you feel like it's a big deal. Thanks for being so kind.

Umm, you asked for people's opinions on having a gender reveal party, remember? Having a baby is a big deal, but the sex really isn't in most people's opinions.

daninikicoli · June 2015

Awwww meanies^ just joking! But I don't agree.

I think they can be totally fun! And I would think the people closest to you would like being there to find out something so exciting. My dh and I throw parties a lot so this would be a good excuse, but we are team green. My sister had one for her first and everyone went crazy when it was revealed to be a girl. So fun! Just keep it small, maybe don't even tell people that's the point of the party and surprise everyone with the reveal. Have people guess...like buttons that say "team pink" "team blue". Maybe it's just us, but our friends and I love any excuse to get together and party... You can always say no gifts. I say have fun and celebrate.

thismplsgirl · June 2015

We had a family reveal meal with each of our daughters' pregnancies. What we did is invite both of our families out to dinner (our treat) and asked them to wear pink or blue based on their guess. We announced through a tee shirt strip down the first time (hubs wore 4 shirts and stripped down to reveal PINK! it was really funny in person) and we did filled cupcakes with baby #2.
We will be finding out baby #3's sex sooner this time around (genetic screen) so we are going to invite family over for dinner and surprise them with the reveal. It's most special this time to reveal to our daughters (4 & almost 2) so I'm putting more effort into that this time since it is most exciting for our little family at this point.

Snoopylovesbelle · June 2015

We had one for our first it was really fun! We invited close friends and family. We had a tally board for everyone to guess what they thought it would be. We handed out bags of pink colored jelly beans for everyone to open.

CaraBoonie · June 2015

You could do it as part of your shower to avoid people thinking you're vying for double gifts/attention...but in that case if you want gendered gifts, you obviously will not be able to receive them at that time. If you just wanna do a little something for your family and close friends, that's your prerogative, I would specify "no gifts, just a fun get together"

Love4littlethings24 · June 2015

I've thought of doing one just because it would be nice to have my close few there, I'm very close with my co-workers and family. I think if it's small and just finding out the gender, that's exciting. There's ways where it's tacky and ways where it's not! Its your choice! We aren't doing one but we're doing the early 3d ultrasound and then maybe brunch after with the grandmas to be.

mamaksweez · June 2015

We had one with our first and it was really fun!! My husband was the first of his friends to get married and have kids so it was kind of a way of including his friends without making them come to a shower. We didn't get gifts at ours. (With the exception of 1 friend from another country who didn't understand- no gifts.)
We had a blast. I wrote a blog about our party if you're interested in some cute ideas, here's the link:
https://myrealuncensoredlife.blogspot.com/2014/01/babys-gender-reveal-party.html?m=1

fragglemom · June 2015

I honesty thought gender reveal parties were already passé. I really don't mean any offense, it's just the last time I knew of someone having one it wasn't met with the enthusiam the mom was hoping for. I think the idea of a more intimate dinner with family is very sweet. I've also seen very cute Facebook videos and announcements.

KaraEpp16 · June 2015

debstrobel said:

Well, that solves that, thanks for the opinions ladies, I was just interested in having close family because this is the first grandchild on both sides of the family and they are excited and it took us years to concieve so this is a big deal for us and our families, but apparently none of you feel like it's a big deal. Thanks for being so kind.

I think having it just with close family BECAUSE it's the first grandchild is super awesome. I'm having the first grandchild for both sets too and I mentioned it to SO, he said no go because he thinks its a "personal" thing. I think he just doesn't want me to go crazy and invite eighty people to a gender reveal. He reigns me in like that :P

I'm sure you could come up with a cute way to let them all know at the same time. I do like the casual get together idea.

Even if other people think it's tacky, unnecessary...who cares? Do what makes you happiest. If you're friggen giddy (I'm sure you are) about the gender then reveal it however you'd like! Everyone will have their opinions about EVERYTHING. Try not to take what the ladies said personally (I've been guilty of this). I know it's hard but they were being honest - and that's what you want right?

katie0613 · June 2015

Who cares what people on here think of gender reveal, if it is something you want to do since this is your first child and grandchild in the family I say go for it!

abbi1995 · June 2015

I'm having one for my close friends and family. Then on my baby shower invite they will obv know the gender for gift reasons. I don't care what anyone else thinks and you shouldn't either! It doesn't matter anyone else's opinion.

SummerOH · June 2015

I don't get it. You asked for opinions, specifically on whether a party is appropriate or tacky. Many said tacky and you got mad. Why ask for opinions? If you want to throw a party for yourself, go for it. But don't ask a question and stomp your feet when someone answers it with a differing view.

adcc43 · June 2015

We had a reveal party for baby 2. We found an opportunity where family was already getting together and brought silly string (which we didn't know boy/girl either) until the kids sprayed the string. Everyone loved it and had a great time.

I think you should do it especially how excited your family is! Babies should be celebrated especially with family!

bananers · June 2015

I think they're cute IF (key word here) other people really care. I'm talking close friends and family. But 90% of the people in your life probably don't care that much one way or another. And no one cares as much as the parents. I think the problem most people have with these types of events is the parents making a huge deal out of something no one else cares about. But you know your friends/family best. If they'd enjoy it, by all means, do it.

Another thing I've seen people do is do the reveal at the shower. That way people are already gathered and don't feel obligated to attend another party or bring another gift. I know you said you're not interested in gifts, but people feel obligated anyway.

SummerOH · June 2015

I will say that we had our moms go to the 4d ultrasound with us. We all found out together, which was cool.

tlelton · June 2015

I think they are great!! I will be doing one myself. More of like a BBQ/pool party and then a reveal as well. Not so much like an actual party about the baby but more just getting friends and family together for a fun day!

btothe3mama · June 2015

I actually think that would be fun. I have 2 kids and they want to do something like that. We live far away from our families so it would probably just be the 4 of us, but still fun. Just adds an element of surprise to just finding out at the ultrasound. Do what would be fun for you and don't mind others opinions. I'm sure if you included the family they'd enjoy it. When you invite ppl you can make a point for no gifts if that's what you want, just a time to celebrate.

Mamabeagle · June 2015

Dinner with immediate family =/= party with your nearest and dearest 50 friends with cake, streamers, invitations, rsvps, etc.

Why do you ask/care what Internet strangers think? And why do you get offended when has a different opinion than you?

Do whatever you want to do, you're a grown up.

kaym6 · June 2015

I think it just depends on the personalities of your friends and family. Both my husband and I have tons of friends and family that are sooo anxious to find out if the baby is a boy or girl (some even more than us! Lol) they also love any reason to get together so I say do whatever will make you happy! If you have friends or family that don't want to attend then they won't

i don't think we will be doing one since we don't live too close to friends and family but we haven't talked much about it so who knows!

carlyhammond · June 2015

I'm having one,
My sisters begged and pleaded to let me let them plan it so I'm going along with it.
Partly because there's a 99% chance that my SO won't be able to be with me at the anatomy scan. The gender of our child is something I want to share with him.
Also, this will be the first grandchild for my parents and I would like for them to be involved.
I think they are inviting a total (including me and my SO) 10 people I believe.
I told them i would accept diapers as gifts but it's really not necessary for me to have gifts.
I'm kind of excited

my baby is something id love to share with my family at every chance I have.
I know people think it's tacky, but I'm not doing it for them. I'm doing it for me, and being able to share this special moment with my family.

carlyhammond · June 2015

Also, *i forgot* since my SO won't be with me at the anatomy scan I will not know the gender as well until the party. So all the guests and us will not know.
It'll b a surprise all the way around.

I may or may not have threatened to harm my sisters if they cheat and look before the party

JandJ62914 · June 2015

I'm going to do a reveal at my baby shower instead of having a separate party. Mostly because this is our first and I want everything we register for to be gender neutral so we can use it for future babies too. I want to avoid ending up with a ton of pink or blue stuff. Then I can also enjoy the fun of seeing people's reactions when they find out what we're having!

amargaret24 · June 2015

Gender party or no gender party remember one thing: when it comes to babies and raising children, everyone has their OWN opinion and feels pretty strongly about it. Watching my older sister with her baby proved that people want to give their prespective on things but often don't look at the big picture (or know the back story)... start taking opinions with a grain of salt, you're gonna need to get good at it. Especially with grandbaby #1.

Edit: especially when asking FOR opinions.

thepanicos · June 2015

My husband and I decided we're going to have a small get together with 20 people in our back yard for a little BBQ and cake. Just family. (That's not all of our immediate, I'm the youngest of 8.) my cousin had a gender reveal party and asked for gifts, I personally wouldn't, I think it's tacky. Why would you expect a person to buy stuff for a gender less baby when they will be celebrating a baby shower months later? Idk. Stuff too think about. I think something small would be wonderful.

ChrissyD1203 · June 2015

I'm so excited for ours. We are just having a BBQ at my in-laws and it's just parents, siblings and one grandparent - no gifts and we are bringing the "magic cupcakes". We wanted to share the special moment with our family and all find out together. Anything can be tacky when done the wrong way and sometimes tacky is still fun. Our parents are excited for it and so are we so honestly that's all that matters to me.

TinyDancer51510 · June 2015

I say do whatever you want. I probably won't because I hate being the center of attention and I really don't want all eyes on me if it's a boy. (Not saying I won't be thankful but I've had it in my head that it's a girl and if I'm wrong....plus, hormones. Who knows how I'll react either way?) It needs to be a private moment for me.

Also, I would start practicing responding graciously to unwanted/differing opinions/advice. Everyone you meet, including complete strangers, is going to have an opinion about this baby and if you get snarky and sarcastic with all of them, you're going to run out of friends. I don't say this to be mean but your reaction to opinions you asked for was less than gracious. I know it probably felt like they were ganging up on you but you're going to get that IRL too. I mean, you already gave the example of your parents/grandparents on the gender reveal. It's only going to get worse.

SparklesC · June 2015

Who cares what people think!? If you WANT to have a party then have a party! I couldn't care less if people think its tacky or attention seeking. If people don't want to go to your party then they don't have to go. I think I will probably do something small with my family and say no gifts. I went to a friends gender reveal party and there were tons of people and we had a blast! Everyone was excited to find out. Don't worry about what other people want. If you want to find out the sex, do it. If you want to have a party, do it.

MrsYoung9311 · June 2015

Just a suggestion, but if you're having a shower maybe combine it with the reveal. I had a girlfriend that announced the gender in the shower invite. I thought it was cute, especially since I'd been right about the sex all along

. But if you just wanna have a party, I say do it. Your baby, your rules.

JAGClark · June 2015

I am in the minority, but I think they are fun! I've been to a few and enjoyed them.

Additionally, my husband and I are huge entertainers. Any chance we can invite people over and cook and hang out, we do.

andreachristine81 · June 2015

I think you should throw your gender reveal party

!! Especially being the first grandchild on both sides! And remember this... What other people think of you is none of your business

. It's your baby and so I think you should do what you and your DH see as fit! I know for a fact I will be having one! This will be the first and likely only grandchild for my parents (I am an only child). Good luck!!

TifVB · June 2015

What?!? What is everyone talking about?? I LOVE them!! I have only been invited to family and very close friends reveal parties....BUT even on Facebook I get so excited when someone announces they are expecting .... I look forward to their reveal!! I have been trying for 4 years....a year of that with fertility drugs and I actually decided that maybe I wasn't suppose to have another baby....and boom...pregnant all on its own....gods timing!
I have been pinning (Pinterest) for years on reveal party ideas! DO IT! It's exciting for you and I am sure those few family members will just be just as excited!!
My husband played pro baseball for a living and is retired now so I think we are doing a reveal with he as the batter and I am going to "pitch" to him a egg filled with pink or blue chalk dust....so when he hits it...there will be an explosion on pink or blue dust....but I have quite a few pins of different reveals....so I might change my mind!

thereisalight · June 2015

We had one with our first... Man now I'm wondering if our family thought it was tacky! Haha. I'm a cake decorator so my coworkers were pretty excited to find out by making the cake. It was low key, no presents... Just cake and good times.

I will not do it again though. While this is pretty uncommon... We were told it was a girl. I'm high risk so we had an ultra sound a few weeks later and surprise! It was a boy. It was actually hilarious, we didn't care either way. I still have the note where the doctor wrote down girl because it cracks me up.

SparklesC · June 2015

@TifVB Love that idea!

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