My current issue is that our forthcoming daycare provider posts photos and videos of the kids on her Facebook wall. She's not a center, but an individual and loves all the kids she cares for like family - which we like - but it's gonna be awkward when I have to ask her to please not post photos of our daughter. I post photos, but we don't want her to as people know she's a daycare and therefore it seems dangerous for her contacts on FB to know what kids are in her care.
SOs biological father (who abandoned him when he was a baby and is barely in our lives now) is the absolute worst on Facebook. We didn't tell him when we went to the hospital and when we did call to tell him baby was here the first thing we had to say was "don't say anything on the internet until everyone knows". Once we made our announcement he shared it to his Facebook and wrote his own comment including something about the length of my active labor being 30 minutes (it was 24 hours of active labor, pushed for 30 minutes, but whatever)! I am NOT the kind of person that would ever post details of something so personal on Facebook, our post was just a general "welcome to the world, baby" post so I was pretty furious to see that he would think that was an appropriate thing to post - I feel like it should go without saying that unless you're the one pushing out the kid it's not your place to talk publicly about.
@hoodoll82 I'm surprised she maintains a social media presence - I will bet you won't be the first mom that bans get from posting pictures of your baby!
@mellymar As far as I know there is no way to turn off the sharing option. If someone knows a way, please let me know. But what happens is, if I have my pictures as "friends only" then when she shares it directly from my page, it only shows up to our mutual friends because of my settings. No matter what her settings are.
On kind of a different topic but related to social media and children. I just deleted two girls off my fb because they have fb pages for their children and then tag them in things! Wtf?! The kids are less then 4 years of age too. I just can't believe some people
My current issue is that our forthcoming daycare provider posts photos and videos of the kids on her Facebook wall. She's not a center, but an individual and loves all the kids she cares for like family - which we like - but it's gonna be awkward when I have to ask her to please not post photos of our daughter. I post photos, but we don't want her to as people know she's a daycare and therefore it seems dangerous for her contacts on FB to know what kids are in her care.
Yikes. That's not really cool of her. I get where she's coming from, but that's really something she should be asking permission for in advance, not waiting for a parent to be the odd one out and have to ask her not to do. I think most of the security concerns are overblown in most cases (like everything!) but there are definitely certain super creepy situations that make all of the paranoia justified. If no one's said anything to her before, I bet she honestly never thought about how what she's broadcasting could be used.
My current issue is that our forthcoming daycare provider posts photos and videos of the kids on her Facebook wall. She's not a center, but an individual and loves all the kids she cares for like family - which we like - but it's gonna be awkward when I have to ask her to please not post photos of our daughter. I post photos, but we don't want her to as people know she's a daycare and therefore it seems dangerous for her contacts on FB to know what kids are in her care.
Wow! That's different. Does she ask parents to sign a media release (similar to what is sent home from school at the beginning of the school year) when they sign up to her daycare?
On kind of a different topic but related to social media and children. I just deleted two girls off my fb because they have fb pages for their children and then tag them in things! Wtf?! The kids are less then 4 years of age too. I just can't believe some people
This^^. It drives me crazy! I have a cousin who will not stop trying to add me as her son's friend (he's 2). No, I will not friend your child on Facebook and Instagram! She sends requests once a week. She's not getting the message.
oh man, you guys. I don't buy into the child trafficking social media fears but two mothers of DH's friends felt it was their place to announce my labor and child's birth on FB. WTF!!! they're no longer my FB friends, and their sons are doing the damage control for me. so beware the old busybodies! and make sure you tell your DH that if he is texting on the sly, those friends better know it's classified information!
my poor father: "So Joe Blow's mother can post it, but he's my own grandson and I'm not allowed to say anything?!" SMH.
@hoodoll82 my sons preschool teacher has a private blog where she has pictures of what they are doing during school. She has us sign a permission slip at the beginning of the year to post pics. I actually enjoy it bc I get to see what they do...even at 4 years old, when I ask "what did you do today" I just get blank stares.
@virginiaunicorn11 oh man, i would have flipped out. And the backlash from my family if something like that happened, woof i'd never hear the end of it.
On kind of a different topic but related to social media and children. I just deleted two girls off my fb because they have fb pages for their children and then tag them in things! Wtf?! The kids are less then 4 years of age too. I just can't believe some people
I know someone who did this for her son right after he was born. It's filled with pictures of her and the baby with quotes like "I have the best mommy ever!" Makes me gag.
On kind of a different topic but related to social media and children.
I just deleted two girls off my fb because they have fb pages for their children and then tag them in things! Wtf?! The kids are less then 4 years of age too. I just can't believe some people
I've never seen this, but I have seen people who make similar pages for their pets... drives me crazy! I think the idea of kids' pages is worse though. So weird! Clearly just for an ego boost, too. Yuck.
@mellymar As far as I know there is no way to turn off the sharing option. If someone knows a way, please let me know. But what happens is, if I have my pictures as "friends only" then when she shares it directly from my page, it only shows up to our mutual friends because of my settings. No matter what her settings are.
But, this way, it would only be my family that sees it, and if dad shares it, its only our mutual friends that see his share? Which basically means, only my family cause I'm not going to approve a random request from some person only my dad knows. Does anybody know if this how that would work?
@mellymar As far as I know there is no way to turn off the sharing option. If someone knows a way, please let me know. But what happens is, if I have my pictures as "friends only" then when she shares it directly from my page, it only shows up to our mutual friends because of my settings. No matter what her settings are.
But, this way, it would only be my family that sees it, and if dad shares it, its only our mutual friends that see his share? Which basically means, only my family cause I'm not going to approve a random request from some person only my dad knows. Does anybody know if this how that would work?
From my understanding, when I share something with the privacy setting "Friends only" and my dad shares it, only the people we are both mutually friends with will see it. I try to explain to my dad that THIS is why it's overkill for him to share my stuff. It's the same people seeing the same thing twice. However, If you do "friends + friends of friends" privacy setting then people that my dad is friends that I am not friends with would also be able to see it.
It would make things so much easier if facebook just had an option to not allow sharing. Why hasn't mark zuckerberg come up with that yet?
@hoodoll82 my sons preschool teacher has a private blog where she has pictures of what they are doing during school. She has us sign a permission slip at the beginning of the year to post pics. I actually enjoy it bc I get to see what they do...even at 4 years old, when I ask "what did you do today" I just get blank stares.
This lady is very informal (I was referred to her and we are new to town) we don't have a formal contract... So it sounds like I will just have to mention it. I can't imagine she wouldn't be ok with it since she's super nice. But man I hate awkward conversations!
My fam was good about waiting until I posted on FB before they did, thank goodness.
Let's not mention that I used to have a FB profile for my cat ... It was an old app called Petbook through FB.
Lastly re:absentee parents, ain't it the worst when they decide to get involved? My dad doesn't have FB but he's now calling like every other day to check in when he used to call me every month. I vacillate between being appreciative and annoyed.
I'll tell ya, this thread is helping me realize I'm definitely not alone in this struggle. I really cannot believe some of these stories about how terrible family members have been on facebook. This is so crazy!!
Kind of funny story: my oldest sister posted the sex of the baby before my HUSBAND even knew. It was innocent, totally an accident and she freaked out when she found out he didn't know yet. She quickly deleted the post and then deleted HIM just in case until after he knew lol
As to the sharing things on fb issue...if you have strict privacy settings and a friend shares, everyone can see it but only mutuals will see tags and be able to comment. Also keep in mind that your privacy settings do nothing to stop others from downloading (or screenshotting, as someone else mentioned) everything you share - like pictures - and doing whatever they want with it. And remember that just because you think you know someone doesn't mean you really do - for instance, my step dad molested me as a child and no one had a clue. He's out of prison now and back on Facebook, and I'd bet every penny to my name that he doesn't tell everyone the real reason it took him so long time to become present on social media.
My younger sister, who is a selfie obsessed chronic oversharer told a mutual friend on a fb post that my husband & I were expecting when we wanted to keep it totally private. She could not understand why I was so upset that she was basically just gossiping and telling someone else's good news bc she had none of her own. It was so upsetting. Alot of my friends experienced miscarriages and I didn't want to seem like I was flaunting my pregnancy, also it was hard for me to accept the that I was expecting again, bc we weren't trying for a baby, so it was all alot of shock. It was such a violation. And the ironic thing is that, she is not like one of those active, crazy about her nieces and nephews type aunts. She barely speaks to me and is hardly in our lives. She was just telling about my pregnancy to be gossipy. I def gave her a piece of my mind. But she really couldn't understand why I was bothered! Like, tell your own business, not anyone elses!
MIL didn't need FB to gossip about the fact that DH and I were expecting before we were ready to announce it. If I think about it I still get very angry, but what's done is done. My mom also announced the pregnancy on FB to people that I didn't want to know my business!!! She actually had the nerve to tell me it was her business too bc it's her grandson. I just feel like I should be able to take the lead on what I announce about my life on FB. To this day I have not announced anything on FB, bc if I know you in real life, then you already know the deal. I would deactivate the account all together, but I know that once something is on the internet it never goes away. I'd rather be able to monitor what's there. Also I need lives for soda crush.
Re: Family + Social Media
@hoodoll82 I'm surprised she maintains a social media presence - I will bet you won't be the first mom that bans get from posting pictures of your baby!
What a world our babies are being born into..
I just deleted two girls off my fb because they have fb pages for their children and then tag them in things! Wtf?! The kids are less then 4 years of age too. I just can't believe some people
my poor father: "So Joe Blow's mother can post it, but he's my own grandson and I'm not allowed to say anything?!"
SMH.
It would make things so much easier if facebook just had an option to not allow sharing. Why hasn't mark zuckerberg come up with that yet?
My fam was good about waiting until I posted on FB before they did, thank goodness.
Let's not mention that I used to have a FB profile for my cat ... It was an old app called Petbook through FB.
Lastly re:absentee parents, ain't it the worst when they decide to get involved? My dad doesn't have FB but he's now calling like every other day to check in when he used to call me every month. I vacillate between being appreciative and annoyed.
She posted the sex 2 days before I was going to post our announcement photo (we put effort into that one!!).
I vented to her about my crazy MIL and she made a post about it. She didn't name names but it was obvious.
She posted when I was measuring 2 weeks ahead and made it seem like I was going into labor. Both of our families freaked out!
I love her. But, her Facebook is the worst. I told her I would tell her his name if she deleted it... Not happening.