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That Moment Where You Feel Like a Terrible Person

jnissajnissa member
in Trouble TTC
... because you're sitting in the IF office waiting to get your labs run and there are 7 or 8 other women in there. And you want SO badly to be supportive in your heart for all of them because you know their pain. But then, statistics. Because you know that fewer than half of you will be successful if you follow the statistics. And every woman who is successful in that room is another statistical chance that it won't be you. And then you hate math, because it's turning you into a person who thinks "I hope it's me, which means not them."

Man, I look forward to the day when this science is just *a lot* better and more successful. 
Me: 41, DH 38, Diagnosis DOR
Started TTC 12/2013
First Trip to RE: 11/2014
IVF Round 1: 2/2014 - BFP
DD Born 11/9/2014
TTC a Sibling Started 5/2015
First IVF Round 8/15 - BFN
Taking a break to go on vacation + enjoy the holidays before FET and/or another IVF round in 2016!

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Re: That Moment Where You Feel Like a Terrible Person

  • GoldenKeysGoldenKeys admin
    LOL... you know what they say:  There are lies, there are damn lies, and then there are statistics!   I studied stats in school and trust me the stats that RE's post have nothing to do with you because there are no controls for the various diagnoses, etc.    So basically it's junk science numbers to get us through the door.

    The only stats that have any validity are your personal stats for each cycle.  Even then it's a waste of time to try to figure that out..  it will drive you insane:-)     The important thing to remember is other women's fertility has absolutely no impact on our own!


    Married for 7 years, TTC for 4 years
    dx:  Diminished Ovarian Reserve
    2 Clomid IUI's + 4 injectable IUI's= 5 BFNs and 1 mc




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  • bookworm40bookworm40 member
    I totally know how you feel. Two days before my retrieval I was at the RE office for monitoring and it must have been successful BFP day in the office because I was surrounded by 3 woman looking at their first sono pic and gushing. I was so amped up on hormones that while I was waiting for the dr to see me I sat there crying and the receptionist who I adore told me to wait for him in the nurse practitioners office so I didn't have to see it all. Of course the nurses kept saying to think of the positives that these women were pregnant because of their office and hopefully I would be soon, but at that moment I wanted nothing more than to get out of that office.

    Infertility is awful and at that moment I wanted to be happy for those women I really did but on that day I couldn't.
    Me: 40  
    TTC #1: 3 years
    Me: Type II Diabetic
    Started with RE 11/2014
    Going through IUI with Donor Sperm


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