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June 2015 Moms
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Boys will be boys...

ElRubyElRuby member
in June 2015 Moms
Just typing that makes me cringe... What expressions of gender stereotyping have you already heard for your LO born or still in utero? The gendering begins far before birth!
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Re: Boys will be boys...

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  • KreslaKresla member
    A lot of people tell me what I'm having based on how I'm carrying. It's fine for them to guess but it does get old. There is no way of knowing baby's gender until baby is born just like there is no way of knowing the birthday until baby decides it's time to enter the world.
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  • valeriemarie24valeriemarie24 member
    A lady on the bus told me that girls are harder to handle than boys when they're young. Uh, thanks random bus stranger...that's what I want to hear going into raising a girl.
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  • JunB25JunB25 member
    This bothers me too... it seems to me like it's an excuse for inappropriate/bad behavior. And for the gender stereotypes, I try so hard to blur those with my daughter. She will say boys don't like pink, or boys don't like nail polish... (it simply comes from my husband saying he doesn't like nail polish or even saying his favorite color is blue) and I'm always squashing it with, "yes, some boys do or blue is a girl color too!" Just little bits of that here and there because I hate for my 3 yr old to have preconceived ideas about what it means to be a girl or boy. It's clear to me that she's into dressing up and loves nail polish and all-- that it definitely ok with me, too. (Although I was a "tomboy" wherever that term came from). I buy her boys t shirts and pjs if she likes the characters on them and I encourage her to acknowledge the fun she has with all her toys not just the "girlie" ones.

    This pregnancy we will have a boy and everyone says, "oh now you can be done." Ummm we still like DTD ;) Plus, I still want more children--boys or girls it doesn't matter to me their sex.
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  • LaurenAnn0405LaurenAnn0405 member
    I agree with all the PP's with the whole "boys will be boys" thing.  It IS just an excuse for bad behavior.  Also is that trying to say that girls don't like to run around?  Because I would beg to differ my 3.5 year old DD LOVES being outside and running around hitting plastic baseballs with her plastic bat.  I hate gender stereotypes-MIL is constantly getting DD little princess shirts and dolls and doll houses, which is ok to a point but that's ALL she ever wants to get her.  DD loves two shows that are "boy" shows and I buy her the boy pj's and shirts with the characters on them that she loves and there is NO problem with that.  She still wears pink and will have bows in her hair (not those giant ones, sorry not a fan) but we don't want to shove her into some preconceived role.  Now that we're having a son we're going to do the same thing with him that we did with DD and let him guide us as to what his interests are.  I feel bad for the kids that feel they have to act a certain way or like certain things because that's what their parents taught them.
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  • KarasTwinKarasTwin member
    KonaCoffeeBean said:

    I hate boys will be boys! Also, "he's all boy" or "100% boy" or whatever. I also hate that you can get onsies for girls who love their daddies and boys who love their mommies, but not the other way around. Boys love their dads too, right?

    This, I have also gotten so many comments from people saying "oh, boys love their mamas!". OK, so if it was a girl she wouldn't love me? Or is he not going to love his daddy? One of the ladies who keeps saying it is a coworker with a son and daughter, she has a 5x7 of her son on her desk and only a wallet size pic of her daughter. It irritates me to no end. And I hate boys will be boys, gender/sex is no excuse for bratty behavior, that's not going to fly in our house.
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  • valeriemarie24valeriemarie24 member
    As far as the sports thing goes...I love baseball and even got a little Toronto blue jays onesie (my home team) for my little girl. My dad also loves baseball so I look forward to the three of us sitting and watching it. I'm hoping one day she will be as into it as I am...but if not at least I can show her a picture of her with the onesie on and say it was fun.
    But ultimately I'm not going to force anything on her. She can like what she likes. And if anyone tries to tell her "girls can't like this" or crap like that they're gonna hear about it.
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  • MrsS728MrsS728 member
    We are fighting the pink and purple vs gender neutral colors. We want more gender neutrals, but our parents are going full on pink and purple, very girly outfits, etc. 
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  • JunB25JunB25 member
    LaurenAnn0405 said:

    I agree with all the PP's with the whole "boys will be boys" thing.  It IS just an excuse for bad behavior.  Also is that trying to say that girls don't like to run around?  Because I would beg to differ my 3.5 year old DD LOVES being outside and running around hitting plastic baseballs with her plastic bat.  I hate gender stereotypes-MIL is constantly getting DD little princess shirts and dolls and doll houses, which is ok to a point but that's ALL she ever wants to get her.  DD loves two shows that are "boy" shows and I buy her the boy pj's and shirts with the characters on them that she loves and there is NO problem with that.  She still wears pink and will have bows in her hair (not those giant ones, sorry not a fan) but we don't want to shove her into some preconceived role.  Now that we're having a son we're going to do the same thing with him that we did with DD and let him guide us as to what his interests are.  I feel bad for the kids that feel they have to act a certain way or like certain things because that's what their parents taught them.

    @LaurenAnn0405 do we have twin lives as far as LOs are concerned? Also, my first two initials are the same as your. Thought that was funny.
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  • RaiEliJusHell1369RaiEliJusHell1369 member
    Even before we found out we were having a boy I had bought some Starwars and robot onesies- because I like Starwars and I like robots, plus they're cute. MIL had a fit and said "if you have a girl you can't put her in those." uh watch me. DH and I are geeky in a sense and honestly thought the outfits were cute for either boy or girl.

    another thing that bothers me is people changing my son's name because there's always a chance the sex screening was wrong. His name is Sebastian, but for some reason it's become a joke the the name will turn out to be SHEbastian. Just irritating me, OK end rant.
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  • JessHeppellJessHeppell member
    i too hate the boys will be boys stereotype. i definitely hate it when the boys get older and its used as an excuse for sexual harassment towards girls or just abuse towards them in general.
    same with when boys tease girls and are just generally rude and everyone is just all "oh it means he likes you" and people wonder why so many young girls are staying in unhealthy relationships.
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  • slr1229slr1229 member
    All the talk about boys will be boys and how girls are supposed to be in pink and not play sports. Etc reminds me of my MIL. She has major issues as a human and for 10+ years has tried to make me something I'm not (I don't shop, I wear the same jewelry every day, I save money, I love sports) and she is dying to have a granddaughter to turn into her. She's going to try the rest of her life if this baby is a girl to do that. Makes me disgusted thinking about it. "Oh boys are more fun bc they play sports". Um lady, do you not know a thing about me? I played all my life. Ugh sorry had to vent.
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  • almakiealmakie member
    Sammy K said:

    I've heard so many "you're going to have your hands full when she's a teenager" or little girls have such attitudes" with this one. The only thing I constantly heard with DS was "little boys love their mamas" and "little boys are so much fun." Clearly there is gender bias around here.

    I'm having a boy and I'm so worried about when his 16 and has raging hormones, then if I was having a girl!

    At least I could relate to her, I know what boys were like when I was 16
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  • laurendutchlaurendutch member
    @almakie I think this is why DH is terrified of having a girl, he remembers what he was like as a teenager. We joke that for LOs 16th birthday, that DH and my two sons (4.5 year difference) will all be getting a gun for the first date introductions.
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  • JunB25JunB25 member
    laurendutch said:

    @almakie I think this is why DH is terrified of having a girl, he remembers what he was like as a teenager. We joke that for LOs 16th birthday, that DH and my two sons (4.5 year difference) will all be getting a gun for the first date introductions.

    This seems like an example of the "Boys will be boys" excuse to me. Assuming that you'll need a gun when your daughter is old enough to date perpetuates the stereotype that young women need to be protected from young men. Of course there will be guys thay are less than ideal for her to date BUT it's up to you to teach your daughter to be responsible, stick up for herself and choose to spend time with a guy that is not the "boy" with built-in excuses for his behavior.

    You better believe the Mama's of our generation will be raising our son's to be better than the stereotypical "boy" that society has been excusing for decades. I have faith that there will be plenty of wonderful young men and women who we've all raised to break through the stereotypes and simply be amazing people. Not just "guys" and "girls" but respectful, smart, loving people.
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  • laurendutchlaurendutch member
    edited June 2015
    JunB25 said:

    laurendutch said:

    @almakie I think this is why DH is terrified of having a girl, he remembers what he was like as a teenager. We joke that for LOs 16th birthday, that DH and my two sons (4.5 year difference) will all be getting a gun for the first date introductions.

    This seems like an example of the "Boys will be boys" excuse to me. Assuming that you'll need a gun when your daughter is old enough to date perpetuates the stereotype that young women need to be protected from young men. Of course there will be guys thay are less than ideal for her to date BUT it's up to you to teach your daughter to be responsible, stick up for herself and choose to spend time with a guy that is not the "boy" with built-in excuses for his behavior.

    You better believe the Mama's of our generation will be raising our son's to be better than the stereotypical "boy" that society has been excusing for decades. I have faith that there will be plenty of wonderful young men and women who we've all raised to break through the stereotypes and simply be amazing people. Not just "guys" and "girls" but respectful, smart, loving people.
    I guess you missed the part where I said JOKE! My Dad always joked that he was going to be cleaning his guns when I had a date come over to pick me up. It never happened...it was a joke.
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  • ElRubyElRuby member
    Westypet said:

    I've gotten kind comments from mothers of boys.
    "You're going to love raising a boy!"
    "Having a boy has been so much fun. I've learned so much."

    I'm sure there were positives they could have said about a girl, but I am having a boy, and I find the comments sweet.

    I think when someone comments about boys' bratty behavior being justified because they're boys, that's very different than a sweet comment about being excited for you to experience raising a child of the opposite sex.
    That's about tolerating bad behavior and raising the child a certain way, versus a kind cheerleader comment.

    I'm not a male. I'm going to learn things about boys through raising one, and to hear other mothers be excited for me about that is not only reassuring to me, but I find it really do find it kind.

    As a mother of a boy I can completely agree :)
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  • Sammy KSammy K member
    I'm excited to be raising a son. But I've noticed a serious difference in how people react to LO being a girl and the reactions with DS. I loved hearing that little boys love their mama. I just wish people weren't as cynical about girls.
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  • JunB25JunB25 member
    laurendutch said:

    JunB25 said:

    laurendutch said:

    @almakie I think this is why DH is terrified of having a girl, he remembers what he was like as a teenager. We joke that for LOs 16th birthday, that DH and my two sons (4.5 year difference) will all be getting a gun for the first date introductions.

    This seems like an example of the "Boys will be boys" excuse to me. Assuming that you'll need a gun when your daughter is old enough to date perpetuates the stereotype that young women need to be protected from young men. Of course there will be guys thay are less than ideal for her to date BUT it's up to you to teach your daughter to be responsible, stick up for herself and choose to spend time with a guy that is not the "boy" with built-in excuses for his behavior.

    You better believe the Mama's of our generation will be raising our son's to be better than the stereotypical "boy" that society has been excusing for decades. I have faith that there will be plenty of wonderful young men and women who we've all raised to break through the stereotypes and simply be amazing people. Not just "guys" and "girls" but respectful, smart, loving people.
    I guess you missed the part where I said JOKE! My Dad always joked that he was going to be cleaning his guns when I had a date come over to pick me up. It never happened...it was a joke.
    No, I got that. I felt the scenario you were joking about was one that further perpetuates that boys are bad and that's just the way it is. Sorry, I should have taken the time to make it clear and not assume you wouldn't do better for your daughter than just threaten boys with a gun. I still feel what I said to be true; parents need to teach their daughters and sons to be respectful loving people and not allow stereotypical bad behaviors to be dismissed.
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  • courtneyp22courtneyp22 member
    99% of the time when I tell people I am having a boy I get this response.... "Awe, yay! Boys are so easy and fun!". I still have to bite my tongue to not spout off how I really feel about this comment. I usually just say, "Yeah, so I have heard." 
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  • WestypetWestypet member
    courtneyp22 said:

    99% of the time when I tell people I am having a boy I get this response.... "Awe, yay! Boys are so easy and fun!". I still have to bite my tongue to not spout off how I really feel about this comment. I usually just say, "Yeah, so I have heard." 

    I heard the opposite from one person. "Oh, you'll have your hands full when they're little!"

    Yep. Hands full of baby. But I think that's just a go-to phrase when you're pregnant.
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  • courtneyp22courtneyp22 member
    @westypet I am glad to here this isn't an universal thought then! Must just be a thing people say in my area of the country. 
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  • WestypetWestypet member
    @courtneyp22 - I think people just say random things, truly! lol
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