My husband asked me how my colostrum was going on the phone the other night... I asked him how he even remembered the word colostrum and he said "I've been listening!"... He can't remember to do his own online grocery shopping before cut off from 4000km away but he can remember the word colostrum! Such a boob man...
My oldest DD is 12, she was asking what contractions felt like. Hubby was quick to answer "ohh they feel like hiccups." I gave him the death stare and said "really because you have had them?"
My husband had the balls to ask me if I would ever "be normal" again.... I bit his head off and asked him if he would be normal with everything that I was dealing with, when he's a baby when he gets a cold. Then he pops me on the arm, and goes "you're right babe, you're a trooper..." and walks away smiling, I swear he wants me to off him in the night.
We watched the megladon shark series and found out the shark was possibly a female shark who gave birth to a baby shark... Now my husband calls me pregladon
During my 6 month appointment my doctor told me I gained 8 pounds in four weeks and proceeded to give me the business about watching my weight (understandable seeing as my glucose test was approaching but still not something I was happy about hearing). To which my husband looked over at me knowingly and said - told you that you should have cut back on those pancakes.
We joke about it now but I could have strangled him at the time.
I was filling out the baby book last night and it asks how much mommy and daddy have gained in the pregnancy so I told DH to go weigh himself and he screams "I lost 3 pounds!"
Now I'm making him over-eat every night at dinner...
We were having a family supper at my mom and dads this past Sunday and we were discussing how this baby hasn't made an appearance yet. My boys were both preemies, 31 and 36 weekers so no one thought I would go this far. So I was saying that this baby must be a girl who is taking after her mom and auntie and making everyone wait for her. My dear brother rolled his eyes and says 'ya right, more like she got distracted by something shiny, then got lost and doesn't know how to get out!' Then DH responds to him by saying 'omg, you're so right! It's totally a girl!!' Thanks guys!
So it's 70 and beautiful outside for the first time in ever. I decided to try to squeeze into one of my bikinis from last summer and sit outside and try to read. Well, my husband works from home and to get outside you have to walk through his office/it's our second living room/ music room (We have a small quirky house) and he says "wow hunny, the bottom still fits but the top looks sort of like a bandaid."
My husband keeps teasing me about being a week late. I wake up and say just this much more to go until my due date and he always adds a week to it. This morning I wanted to cry at the thought of it.
We were at a restaurant last week and as the server sits us at our table (a big booth), he says: "Do you fit?". I said, "of course I fit." The waitress couldn't help but laugh. He then finished it off with "okay 'belly with feet', come here". Still love him.
Last night our friends who already have a cute little girl were over. The guy said to my husband "there just comes a point where you feel bad watching your wife waddle around and want the baby out for them! You know she has got to be so uncomfortable that she is forced to waddle."
Also, the little girl was talking to my belly telling the baby to come out and then all of the sudden gives me a concerned look and says "he isn't ready yet because he is sleeping now." Lol, gotta love little kids.
Today he came to pick up our daughter and complained about how he's so tired because the guest bed he's staying in at his parents house is too small (queen size). I just gave him the dirtiest look and didn't even know what to say to him.
How about I don't sleep more than one to two hours at a time, I'm exhausted from single parenting our 4yo, stressed and wiped going through our divorce and I'm so uncomfortable it hurts to walk, sit or pretty much breathe at almost 41 weeks pregnant. Yeah I really care you need to stay in a guest bed for the week you are up to visit. Poor baby
So the other day baby was noticeably over to one side of my stomach and I pointed it out to my husband. For some reason his instinct was to push the baby over to the other side... Which definitely didn't feel comfortable... When I asked him why the hell he was trying to do he said he thought he was helping Cuz it couldn't be comfortable for one side of my belly to be so full and the other side to be empty... I was like babe it's not empty... The baby's limbs and all my organs are over there... He was so dumbfounded I had to pull out diagrams of a pregnant woman's body to explain that half your stomach is not just empty!!!
My SA & I were having a normal conversation about pregnancy . I'm 38 weeks & trying to iron out stuff. I honestly looked at him & asked "do you think I will bounce back?" he answers back " no its going to take lots of work" I just looked at him. I guess its what I get for asking that type of question.
My DH says stupid things all the time, I wish I could think of an exact quote, but he has spent a lot of time this pregnancy talking about how after the birth we're both going to work hard and exercise to lose weight and get back into shape. Thanks for bringing it up, sweetie.
Or the other day we were discussing finances and how we don't have as much in savings as we planned to at this point and he's complaining and talking about how he might have to get a second job and ALL this the day I had to ask my mgr to cut back my hours (per my midwife and bleeding cervix!). I started crying and he apologized....somewhat.
My husband is constantly commenting on his weight and how he needs to start working out again. He is already planning several things for "us" post baby and as much as I look forward to getting my body back, it makes me want to scream at 38 weeks pregnant.
I told my coworkers about my husband's comments about exercising and losing weight and after hearing me relate their annoyance at him a few times he shut up about it. Good luck!
@clare2582 same here! My husband was rear ended in a car accident a year ago and even after going to a chiropractor and physical therapy his back and neck STILL hurt him and I am so sick of him complaining about it. ..I feel like I'm insensitive about it but I can't help it. I have been very supportive with trying to help him to feel better. I'm just so uncomfortable and I just have no sympathy for his whining. He better not utter any kind of complaint while I'm in labor.
Haha, my husband complained about his back hurting him at the dinner table tonight and how he needed to lay down. I just shot him a glare. Laying in bed now and he's telling me to go to sleep. Told him I feel like I'm getting head butted in the vagina and he just said 'oh'. They'll never get it
Just because you're pregnant and in pain doesn't mean your husband can't be. I don't think he should be glared at or anything for expressing his pain. When my partner gets home from work and he reclines on the lounge and puts his feet up and says something like gee my neck or back or feet hurt. I don't tell him to get over it cause I'm in more pain. I rub his feet or his back or whatever and later he looks after me and makes me feel better because i find it's better this way than trying to make him feel guilty for being in pain...
My hubs has been reading the 'Expectant Father' book since day 1... He's always sharing little bits of the things he's learning but he was most excited to share when he realized baby could hear him talking. The first thing he shared with baby? A fart, followed by, 'Did you hear that baby? That's Daddy farting!'.
@jacquelineemma It sucks that to get your partner to do stuff to make you feel better you have to rub his feet and back whenever he complains about it. I never said I make him feel guilty for hurting or that he isn't allowed to hurt and I don't recall anyone else saying that either. I'm just tired of the whining.
No one is saying your husband can't have aches and pains, this is a mama site and we can vent here. When My hubby offers to rub my feet I will return the favor but until then no ease the pain for him
@slipsintothesea I never said the only way my partner will make me feel better is if I help him first. I was saying that we help each other because we both are tired and sore. He will even if I don't help him but I know he needs it too.
I have been cleaning a lot lately. Husband comes home and complains - "it smells like bleach!" I'm like "you're welcome! I cleaned...with Clorox wipes. Not using straight bleach here dear". Argh!
We live on a farmette..I'm now 37 weeks pregnant and have been waiting for the ''mother cow and calf'' comments this whole pregnancy. I was sitting kind of sideways on our loveseat the other night and when I stood up my hips were aching more than usual, I knew I had gimped around a little. My husband says "you act like Kinzer (our oldest cow)"...I just looked at him and said "really?"....his response "you've got a little hitch in your giddy-up". Oh, God love 'em.
The best was when I was in labor and going through the worst of contractions (waiting on the anesthesiologist to bring that damn epi!) and my husband was standing staring at the monitor going "oh wow, look at that one! That's a bad one! Look how close they are!" Seriously?!??? I don't need to look, I'm feeling them. Pretty sure I lost it on him at that point, but it's all a blur haha. I just know he says I turned "very mean" hahahaha.
I just had our son on 4-2-15 and the last week or so he keeps telling me I'm pampering the baby too much when I'm changing and feeding when he cries.....EXCUSE ME he is just over a month old!! He needs someone to be on the ball with his needs!!
Oh and another thing that drives me nuts is how little patience he seems to have when the baby cries....he gets grouchy at the baby and thinks telling him to stop crying in a stern voice he uses on his other 2 older kids will work! I know the hubby works A LOT but this is what babies do!!!
Okay rant over...going on an hour of sleep. I work from home thankfully but I heard baby crying and dad wasn't waking up then he just threw at me I'm over pampering and boy that just set me off!
Yesterday was my 6 week checkup and I got all good news (except that BC is another 3 weeks away, but we'll live). So when my husband got home from work, I told him I'd lost 30 lbs since I birthed our sweet cheeks... 30 lbs!!! That's the equivalent of a toddler. His reply - 'Oh, I really hadn't noticed.'
I need a taser gun so I can just zap him when he says dumb shit.
Yesterday was my 6 week checkup and I got all good news (except that BC is another 3 weeks away, but we'll live).
So when my husband got home from work, I told him I'd lost 30 lbs since I birthed our sweet cheeks... 30 lbs!!! That's the equivalent of a toddler. His reply - 'Oh, I really hadn't noticed.'
I need a taser gun so I can just zap him when he says dumb shit.
Yesterday was my 6 week checkup and I got all good news (except that BC is another 3 weeks away, but we'll live). So when my husband got home from work, I told him I'd lost 30 lbs since I birthed our sweet cheeks... 30 lbs!!! That's the equivalent of a toddler. His reply - 'Oh, I really hadn't noticed.'
I need a taser gun so I can just zap him when he says dumb shit.
I would have punched him lol
I totally get my revenge at night... When LO is breastfeeding (I sit up in bed to nurse her) I make sure to sit a little closer to his head so when she's nursing and relaxed, she poops right next to his face! It's so loud it wakes him up. Hahahahaha!
Wtf is so Fing hard about a diaper genie?!? From day one my husband (and his mother) can't grasp how to work the GD diaper genie!!! It's been around for 25 years! I know b/c we had one for my sister and she's now almost 22! They won't push the diapers all the way down past the chute which causes them to stink the room! I just came in (midnight) and find the last two dirty diapers on the table and three diapers stuffed to the top and the lid broken WTF?!??! It's not that difficult! He also refuses to empty it acting like a two year old that can't figure it out?!?
While pregnant my LO was very active -- especially at night. One night my husband asked what was wrong. I told him it felt like his child was doing the tango. He told me that was impossible, because "it takes two to tango".
Re: Sh*t my husband says
We joke about it now but I could have strangled him at the time.
Now I'm making him over-eat every night at dinner...
Also, the little girl was talking to my belly telling the baby to come out and then all of the sudden gives me a concerned look and says "he isn't ready yet because he is sleeping now." Lol, gotta love little kids.
Today he came to pick up our daughter and complained about how he's so tired because the guest bed he's staying in at his parents house is too small (queen size). I just gave him the dirtiest look and didn't even know what to say to him.
How about I don't sleep more than one to two hours at a time, I'm exhausted from single parenting our 4yo, stressed and wiped going through our divorce and I'm so uncomfortable it hurts to walk, sit or pretty much breathe at almost 41 weeks pregnant. Yeah I really care you need to stay in a guest bed for the week you are up to visit. Poor baby
Or the other day we were discussing finances and how we don't have as much in savings as we planned to at this point and he's complaining and talking about how he might have to get a second job and ALL this the day I had to ask my mgr to cut back my hours (per my midwife and bleeding cervix!). I started crying and he apologized....somewhat.
I never said I make him feel guilty for hurting or that he isn't allowed to hurt and I don't recall anyone else saying that either. I'm just tired of the whining.
My hubby offers to rub my feet I will return the favor but until then no ease the pain for him
So when my husband got home from work, I told him I'd lost 30 lbs since I birthed our sweet cheeks... 30 lbs!!! That's the equivalent of a toddler. His reply - 'Oh, I really hadn't noticed.'
I need a taser gun so I can just zap him when he says dumb shit.
I totally get my revenge at night... When LO is breastfeeding (I sit up in bed to nurse her) I make sure to sit a little closer to his head so when she's nursing and relaxed, she poops right next to his face! It's so loud it wakes him up. Hahahahaha!
From day one my husband (and his mother) can't grasp how to work the GD diaper genie!!! It's been around for 25 years! I know b/c we had one for my sister and she's now almost 22!
They won't push the diapers all the way down past the chute which causes them to stink the room! I just came in (midnight) and find the last two dirty diapers on the table and three diapers stuffed to the top and the lid broken WTF?!??! It's not that difficult! He also refuses to empty it acting like a two year old that can't figure it out?!?