Ask Anything- for FTMs

bookqueen · June 2015

Figured we could use a thread like this! For those anxious first time moms (or even returning moms) to ask the other seasoned moms any questions about pregnancy, delivery, and postpartum!

Perhaps we can have the bump admins pin this to the top too.

AggieKim · June 2015

Yes! I was thinking of doing this eventually. Maybe we can do it now, and come 2nd or 3rd do it again. I'm sure everyone's thoughts will shift as time goes by.

bookqueen · June 2015

Of course, that's why people can ask more questions

mrs3615 · June 2015

How easy was breastfeeding for you and what kind of pump did you use?

Totally jumping right in- thank you all for being ahhhhmaaaaazZziiiiinnnngggg

bookqueen · June 2015

Breastfeeding was a total nightmareeeee for me. DS wouldn't latch, I didn't produce enough, and I pumped literally all day long to get just enough. I was miserable and cried all the time so we decided that I stop. That was after about two long weeks. I tried both the hospital electric pump which did nothing for me, and a manual pump. Manual was much better but definitely caused some carpal tunnel from constant use. Lol

Sorry for my horror story!

AggieKim · June 2015

I used the Medela Pump in Style. It was actually a 1999 model and I did what they don't recommend, I used someone else's pump. But it sat unused for like 2 years, I felt safe.Of course I broke it...

Breastfeeding classes were a joke for me. Because when I had my son in my arms and the L&D nurse was all like, Do you know how to breastfeed, I said NO. She helped me get him to latch the first time and he nursed post partum for like an hour (doubt he got much, but it meant the world to me). Afterwards, I had difficulty on one side only, but it was a matter of the right angle. Since I'm tall, I always had to put towels and things under his head and my arms to make it more comfortable for me and my long torso until he got bigger. He was too big to ever football hold, though.

Side lying saved my life when I was exhausted. I forgot about engorgement and, in the first two weeks when it was really tiring and hard to get used to, I had a lot of things to learn between he and I. But I made sure I went to the BFing class in hospital and they really reassured me and gave me resources for when I went home.

Edited to add that I nursed my son exclusively for over a year and contniued to nurse him until 2.5

jennymack79 · June 2015

How did you choose a crib/car seat/stroller?

I started browsing online and got totally overwhelmed with the options and this research I feel like I need to do before I can even begin to decide.

mrs3615 · June 2015

bookqueen said:
Breastfeeding was a total nightmareeeee for me. DS wouldn't latch, I didn't produce enough, and I pumped literally all day long to get just enough. I was miserable and cried all the time so we decided that I stop. That was after about two long weeks. I tried both the hospital electric pump which did nothing for me, and a manual pump. Manual was much better but definitely caused some carpal tunnel from constant use. Lol

Sorry for my horror story!

Thanks for sharing!!!! My MIL (who doesn't yet know I'm KU) puts so much pressure on this that its nice to know it's not always this magical experience!! Thanks for your honesty!!

strlitemiss · June 2015

mrs3615 said:
How easy was breastfeeding for you and what kind of pump did you use?

Totally jumping right in- thank you all for being ahhhhmaaaaazZziiiiinnnngggg

Breastfeeding was extremely easy for me. I am beyond blessed to still be breastfeeding now 20 months later.

strlitemiss · June 2015

jennymack79 said:
How did you choose a crib/car seat/stroller?

I started browsing online and got totally overwhelmed with the options and this research I feel like I need to do before I can even begin to decide.

I basically bought what the majority of the mom's on my last board where buying lol.

bookqueen · June 2015

jennymack79 said:
How did you choose a crib/car seat/stroller?

I started browsing online and got totally overwhelmed with the options and this research I feel like I need to do before I can even begin to decide.

Honestly, we picked the cheapest of each from Walmart. They have good ratings and I didn't see why I would have to spend $400 to get "the best of the best". We did more research for the convertible car seat, but we bought the least expensive for an infant seat, and he was in that for quite a while.

AggieKim · June 2015

I want to take this moment to say how much I loved the book Baby Bargains and everything it recommended.

Crib, I just picked out something I liked. I gave up on anything else too specific.

Car seat, I knew my kid would be a big guy (he's been 99%tile forever) so I found the recommended one from the book, and the one that would hold the biggest kid the longest. I barely made rear facing 2 years.

Stroller, again, book recommended. But I freaking love my Baby Jogger. So lightweight and easy to use. Expensive though.

tumblefluff · June 2015

@mrs3615 It was not easy for me! It's a lot of work and can be painful at first. I wanted to quit so many times but got through it even after a bout with mastitis. That sucked so much! I met with a lactation consultant right after that and I wish I had done it sooner. As for the pump, I used a Medela Pump in Style that my sister had used years before with her first. Thinking back the motor may have been junk and I probably should have gotten a new one but they were/are so expensive. Once I went back to work my supplied dropped and within 3 weeks I was no longer producing. With the stash I had we got through another few weeks. We got 4 & 1/2 months in total. I wish it was longer but I'm still proud of how long I made it. It's not for everyone and formula isn't the devil.

MrsJG3 · June 2015

I wasn't able to nurse my first. I tried but I didn't prepare myself at all bc I had no idea how much I would want to do it until she was born. I really beat myself up over it and it totally sucked.

When I was pregnant with my second I bought a couple of books, asked a friend a lot of personal questions etc. I also promised myself I wouldn't leave the hospital until our latch was down. I nursed her for 18 months and later my son for 13 months. It is hard at first but so worth it in the end.

bookqueen · June 2015

Oh! I totally looked over the crib question, lol. I basically just picked the most appealing from Babies R Us.

We chose a convertible crib with an attached changing table.

rspalding001 · June 2015

Only the first week was hard for me breastfeeding because of a couple reasons. Turns out I had retained placenta (which we didnt discover until 4 weeks PP) and that probably delayed my milk coming in until about day 7. DD also had trouble latching which made it difficult a first. I ended up supplementing with formula for about 3 days until my milk came in and then we were 100% breast milk again and it was fairly easy until I satarted pumping to go back to work. A couple things I highly recommend is finding a good lactation consultant. They were a life saver no joke. Also get a good breast pump. We used Medela electric Pump In Style. I only started using it when my daughter started day care at 4 months and then used it a ton after I went back to work. Also breast feeding covers are totally a pain in the ass and not worth it. Just carry a light muslin blanket with you and use that if you are in a pinch. Those cover are hot and uncomfortable in my opinion.

strlitemiss · June 2015

Regarding the stroller we babywear so I don't have one.

MrsJG3 · June 2015

jennymack79 said:
How did you choose a crib/car seat/stroller?

I started browsing online and got totally overwhelmed with the options and this research I feel like I need to do before I can even begin to decide.

Crib I choose mostly by color. I didn't buy the whole set though just the crib. I converted a dresser in to changing table.

As far as car seats I love Chicco for infant seats. They are easy to use and make the base level why you install them. There is a great FB page called car seats for the littles. They have certified techs that can help find the right seat for your car.

bookqueen · June 2015

Oh I have a question too, thanks to @strlitemiss!

For those who baby wore, what is your favorite/recommended wrap, carrier, or whatever?? We didn't do it for my son, but I definitely want to this time!

MrsJG3 · June 2015

bookqueen said:
Oh I have a question too, thanks to @strlitemiss!

For those who baby wore, what is your favorite/recommended wrap, carrier, or whatever?? We didn't do it for my son, but I definitely want to this time!

I love my ergo. I also have a moby but I really struggled getting it on right. I found that a carrier was especially helpful when grocery shopping. An infant seat takes up a lot of room in the cart and I like having my hands free to deal with my other kiddos.

Edit: forgot my explanation

AggieKim · June 2015

All I know is I tried the Moby wrap with my son and he hated it! But he was a little picky, too. Since I almost never go anywhere, I didn't pursue any other carriers very hard. I just carried him around my house myself.

strlitemiss · June 2015

I could go on for days about my favorites or what I recommend, it really depends on your price range, what you want (Mei tai, buckle carrier, wrap etc) what you will be using the carrier for and age of baby.

tumblefluff · June 2015

Don't get a gigantic stroller that weighs a ton! Remember you'll need to put it in your car and take it out several times day/week! We ended up getting a more portable one after making that mistake. I had specific requirements for the next stroller because I hated the one we originally had. Must haves were: light weight, basket underneath for some storage, must recline for naps, and easy to fold up & open. We found one that we love (Chicco Lite Way) but will need to wait until the LO is a little older to use. In the mean time we have a Graco car seat and will use the snap & go until that no longer works. I still refuse to use the big bulky monster we originally got.

strlitemiss · June 2015

I take that back we had a Eddie Bauer stroller for like a month and it's probably molding in our shed unit. I hated it.

MrsJG3 · June 2015

Love the snap and go! I have a Chicco caddy which is the same I think. That thing is a life saver!

rspalding001 · June 2015

Regarding Crib: Id say find one that converts to a toddler bed to extend the use you get out of it

Stroller: I got one that click connected with my infant car seat so I could just put the car seat in the stroller when DD was very young - we picked Graco click connect 35 I think. I still very happy with that decision.

For baby carrer: we went with the Baby Bjorn but in retrospect I wish I had gotten the Ergo. The Bjorn has no lower back support and as baby get heavier it matters. Now you can get the Ergo 360 which will let you put your baby forward facing as well which is cool.

bookqueen · June 2015

I think we may look more for a wrap style carrier. We had one with the straps and buckles or whatever but it was a total pain in the a to get him out of.

strlitemiss · June 2015

It really takes practice. Wrapping takes a lot of sweat and frustration, I am learning that now with back carries.

NoelBird · June 2015

Breastfeeding was extremely hard for me. First of all, I had unreal expectations. Everyone IRL made it seem that breast feeding is completely natural and easy, add to that all of the breastfeeding propaganda and I thought I would pop out the baby, stick him on my boob and away I'd go. It did not work that way. I wish I had someone IRL tell me about the difficulties instead of trying to sell me on exclusive breastfeeding. I ended up breastfeeding exclusively for 3 weeks and then supplementing for 6. I am planning to try again with this baby but I feel much better prepared this time around.

NoelBird · June 2015

tumblefluff said:

Don't get a gigantic stroller that weighs a ton! Remember you'll need to put it in your car and take it out several times day/week! We ended up getting a more portable one after making that mistake. I had specific requirements for the next stroller because I hated the one we originally had. Must haves were: light weight, basket underneath for some storage, must recline for naps, and easy to fold up & open. We found one that we love (Chicco Lite Way) but will need to wait until the LO is a little older to use. In the mean time we have a Graco car seat and will use the snap & go until that no longer works. I still refuse to use the big bulky monster we originally got.

I completely agree with this! I used a $20 umbrella stroller while I shopped around for a stroller. I never found a stroller that wasn't huge and crazy expensive so I only used the umbrella stroller. This was the best decision for us, in fact I still have the same umbrella stroller two years later and we use it almost daily. As an infant I used a snap and go with the carseat and loved it, I waited as long as I could to move my son to the convertible because not having to take him out of the car seat was a huge perk.

Sprinkles07 · June 2015

mrs3615 said:

How easy was breastfeeding for you and what kind of pump did you use? Totally jumping right in- thank you all for being ahhhhmaaaaazZziiiiinnnngggg

Bfing was a challenge for me. Similar to @bookqueen DS had latching issues (those were greatly helped by the use of a nipple shield.) and my supply was always low. (I'm talking I would pump for 20 minutes on high like 6-7 times in a 24 hour period and only get 2 oz per pump FOR 5 months.) DS was eating at least 4-8 ounces/ feeding during that time so we had to supplement with formula. In the beginning I would BF him and then bottle feed but somewhere around a month old he started to refuse my breast. I bawled like a little baby. After that I just pumped round the clock and around 5 months we switched to just formula. I used a Medela pump and liked it a lot.

Sprinkles07 · June 2015

jennymack79 said:

How did you choose a crib/car seat/stroller? I started browsing online and got totally overwhelmed with the options and this research I feel like I need to do before I can even begin to decide.

As a FTM I settled on a Graco travel system and LOVED it. It was so nice to be able to just click the car seat on the stroller and go. Especially if he was sleeping or it was cold out. Eventually I got a jogging stroller because we went for lots of walks on trails and I just really wanted one. This time around I am investing in a double stroller and to be honest knowing we wanted more kids I wish I would have done more research and just got the double stroller I want now to begin with. The stroller I want has an adapter and will fit the infant seat on to it. (Just make sure the infant seat you get/ have will fit the attachment.) Perfect! I'll link the stroller, it's amazballs. If you need help choosing a stoller that is a good fit for your car/ needs check out car seats for the littles on Facebook. They are car seat technicians and can tell you anything you want to know about car seats and car seat safety. I also recommend doing some car seat safety research. that group will have plenty of materials for you.

Double stroller

ETA: If you want to go with a light weight option make sure you test that out and like it. A true umbrella stroller doesn't have a basket and usually is difficult to push. I have to have a basket for the diaper bag because that thing weighs more than my kid! haha We have an umbrella stroller for airport use and I hate it. DH also hates it because he is tall and the stroller is short. My mom has a JEEP brand light weight stroller and I like that. It has a basket and moves pretty well. Also to be fair we have an SUV so a bigger stroller isn't an issue for us.

Baby wearing: I could not get the hang of the wraps so if you plan to do that practice a lot before LO gets here. I plan to use an Ergo type carrier with # 2 at the park and what not but with #1 we didn't end up baby wearing much DS was a hot box and didn't like it much. Just depends on what works for you.

CRIB: For DS we got super lucky at a ma and pop furniture outlet. We got a beautiful 3 in 1 crib that retailed for $800 for just $200. We moved out of state since then and won't be this lucky again. We plan to get a cheap small crib for this LO. He/ she will be residing in our room while we are in this rental and we won't have room for a big bulky crib. I will say the best part about the first crib is that it's REALLY deep and DS is short so while he is now 2 he is nowhere close to being able to climb out. This makes my life so much easier. I can still put him in there with some toys and shower or have sexy time or whatever else. So look for a deep crib.

nicosh8 · June 2015

How far along did you go before purchasing maternity clothes? Do you buy your current size just in maternity and it gives your belly room to grow?
Or am I going to have to purchase new clothes every couple of months? Sorry I don't know why maternity sizes are so confusing to me!

bookqueen · June 2015

I didn't buy any maternity clothes, LOL. I lived in yoga pants and baggy shirts.

nicosh8 · June 2015

bookqueen said:
I didn't buy any maternity clothes, LOL. I lived in yoga pants and baggy shirts.

Ohh I like the sound of that!

NoelBird · June 2015

nicosh8 said:

How far along did you go before purchasing maternity clothes? Do you buy your current size just in maternity and it gives your belly room to grow? Or am I going to have to purchase new clothes every couple of months? Sorry I don't know why maternity sizes are so confusing to me!

Last time I waited too long, I probably bought clothes when I was 7 months along. I used the belly band in the beginning but once I actually bought maternity pants they were so much more comfortable. I did buy items in my current size and it worked fine.

csh96 · June 2015

I bought some maternity stuff at 3 months and started wearing pants between 4-5 months. Make current pants go long by using a belly band or use a hair tie around the button and loop through the button hole. What I bought lasted the entire pregnancy and i gained 26 lbs.

geojam224 · June 2015

bookqueen said:

I didn't buy any maternity clothes, LOL. I lived in yoga pants and baggy shirts.

That's my plan. Hay-yo!

csh96 · June 2015

mrs3615 said:

How easy was breastfeeding for you and what kind of pump did you use? Totally jumping right in- thank you all for being ahhhhmaaaaazZziiiiinnnngggg

Breastfeeding actually went really well for me. She latched well while still in the hospital. It did hurt the first couple weeks and my nipples actually scabbed over by the time we left the hospital. That is when lanolin became my best friend!! I used the medela I got free through insurance. I cannot remember the style but it worked just fine. Ask to see a lactation consultant soon after birth while you are still in the hospital so you can get help and answer your questions. Most hospitals have a group of lactation nurses you can contact afterwards and mine even had a nursing group that met weekly.

AggieKim · June 2015

nicosh8 said:
How far along did you go before purchasing maternity clothes? Do you buy your current size just in maternity and it gives your belly room to grow?
Or am I going to have to purchase new clothes every couple of months? Sorry I don't know why maternity sizes are so confusing to me!

Since I'm a nurse and I live in baggy scrubs, I got buy with just a few items (jeans, skirts, and a couple of shirts) from Old Navy while pregnant. Otherwise I just wore my tshirts all the time. I can't remember when I really started needing them, but it was late 2nd tri I'm sure, or 3rd tri.

sheashea407 · June 2015

mrs3615 said:

How easy was breastfeeding for you and what kind of pump did you use? Totally jumping right in- thank you all for being ahhhhmaaaaazZziiiiinnnngggg

Sorry for another negative story, but I think my trouble came from not getting enough help at the hospital with latch. We caved to supplement with formula almost immediately and that set us up for a bad experience. I never got a full supply, DD never latched properly, which was torture for me. I kept trying and trying and every time she latched (improperly), I cringed. I had gotten help from a lactation consultant a week or two after DD was born, but it didn't get better. I drove myself crazy pumping for 6 months and didn't come close to meeting DD's needs (so we used formula). It took me several pump sessions to get enough for one bottle. I tried so many supply remedies--took herbs that made me smell like maple syrup, made lactation cookies, the whole 10 yards. Eventually, I decided I needed to stop. The relief I felt after was tremendous.

Now, here's what I plan to do this time:

-Attempt nursing as soon as possible after birth.

-Lots of skin to skin (which I did last time, too).

-Avoid bottles & pacifiers entirely initially.

-I will ask for help as often as I need it. Last time I felt uncomfortable being "man-handled" by the nurse or lactation consultant. This time, I don't care. Just help me make it work, haha

DH and I already talked about it. We really want me to be able to breastfeed, but we will not repeat last time. If it simply does not work after doing all of the above, we don't have a problem with formula, but I will not be anchored to my breastpump when my supply is simply not there.

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