Did you tell him that unfortunately even if you didn't have kids, ALL BOOBS EVENTUALLY GET SAGGY. It's from age, gravity, and time. If he is so concerned about it he should pay for you to have a breast augmentation. Realistically you should be with someone who loves you no matter what your appearance is or could be. What if you gained a lot of weight? Would he treat you like this as well?
I've always been a little big so that doesn't bother him.. He just grew up in a different kind of family than I did.. His mom never breast feed him and none of his family members ever breast feed so I think the thought of it makes him uncomfortable...I talked to my BIL about it because his fiancé wanted to breast feed and he was hesitant because of it making him uncomfortable...I was curious as of why my husband thought it was a bad idea..His brother said he would talk to him about everything.. I think it coming from his brother and hearing everything coming from another guy will get him to rethink it..
Edit because I forgot a sentence
That's probably the best.
If it doesn't work, you can let him know that he's no longer to spend much time outside because you don't want him to get wrinkly. He'd also better make sure he goes to the gym regularly to keep himself in shape. If he gets to dictate body standards to you, well love is a two way street.
I'm a logic person, I like to confront stupidity with an insurmountable wall of facts: 1- cost of breastfeeding infant for one year = $0 Cost of formula for one year = $2000+ 2- breastfed babies have demonstrably superior immune systems. Which means less trips to the doctor. Which means less money spent. Trust me on this one. My son only nursed for 5 months due to some unforeseen complications. My daughter nurses for a year. He has an immune system that struggles. She is as healthy as a horse and rarely ever goes to the dr. 3- breastfed babies have higher IQs and higher incomes as adults (proof: https://www.cnn.com/2015/03/18/health/breastfeeding-iq-income/). Smarter kids with higher incomes won't live in your basement forever and suck all your resources away. 4- breasts sag because they fluctuate in size during pregnancy and become engorged with milk. They become engorged with milk regardless of whether you actually breastfeed the baby or not. The engorgement will go away when you don't feed the baby at all, but the damage will be done. Refusing to breastfeed won't prevent the sagging from happening. 5- see all that money you saved above from breastfeeding your baby? If he's all that against sagging (which will happen at some point due to age anyways), use that extra cash for a boob job.
You sound devoted to your husband and family. I commend that. But if he thinks nothing about your body is going to change as a result of this baby, he is delusional. Hope this helps in your argument!
I'm a logic person, I like to confront stupidity with an insurmountable wall of facts: 1- cost of breastfeeding infant for one year = $0 Cost of formula for one year = $2000+ 2- breastfed babies have demonstrably superior immune systems. Which means less trips to the doctor. Which means less money spent. Trust me on this one. My son only nursed for 5 months due to some unforeseen complications. My daughter nurses for a year. He has an immune system that struggles. She is as healthy as a horse and rarely ever goes to the dr. 3- breastfed babies have higher IQs and higher incomes as adults (proof: https://www.cnn.com/2015/03/18/health/breastfeeding-iq-income/). Smarter kids with higher incomes won't live in your basement forever and suck all your resources away. 4- breasts sag because they fluctuate in size during pregnancy and become engorged with milk. They become engorged with milk regardless of whether you actually breastfeed the baby or not. The engorgement will go away when you don't feed the baby at all, but the damage will be done. Refusing to breastfeed won't prevent the sagging from happening. 5- see all that money you saved above from breastfeeding your baby? If he's all that against sagging (which will happen at some point due to age anyways), use that extra cash for a boob job.
You sound devoted to your husband and family. I commend that. But if he thinks nothing about your body is going to change as a result of this baby, he is delusional. Hope this helps in your argument!
Ok, I'm all for breastfeeding, but this is a wildly skewed take on it. My formula fed kid is healthy as a horse and vastly exceeding intellectual Milestones, thank you very much. I'm sure my guidance of her education and financial support will have more to do with her professional success than whether she sucks my boob. My aunt breastfed my cousin, and he's a GD moron who gets fired from every job. So there's THAT anecdotal story to counter yours. I also guess breast pump accessories, lanolin, nursing covers, boppy pillows, etc. are all free, right?
I'm with @Pontot31 on this & I have to agree 100%. My children were formula fed & both my boys are healthy happy & exceeding intellectually. So while I am all for breastfeeding it does not mean a formulae fed baby is going to be and less intellectual than a breastfed baby.
I'm a logic person, I like to confront stupidity with an insurmountable wall of facts:
1- cost of breastfeeding infant for one year = $0
Cost of formula for one year = $2000+
2- breastfed babies have demonstrably superior immune systems. Which means less trips to the doctor. Which means less money spent. Trust me on this one. My son only nursed for 5 months due to some unforeseen complications. My daughter nurses for a year. He has an immune system that struggles. She is as healthy as a horse and rarely ever goes to the dr.
3- breastfed babies have higher IQs and higher incomes as adults (proof: https://www.cnn.com/2015/03/18/health/breastfeeding-iq-income/). Smarter kids with higher incomes won't live in your basement forever and suck all your resources away.
4- breasts sag because they fluctuate in size during pregnancy and become engorged with milk. They become engorged with milk regardless of whether you actually breastfeed the baby or not. The engorgement will go away when you don't feed the baby at all, but the damage will be done. Refusing to breastfeed won't prevent the sagging from happening.
5- see all that money you saved above from breastfeeding your baby? If he's all that against sagging (which will happen at some point due to age anyways), use that extra cash for a boob job.
You sound devoted to your husband and family. I commend that. But if he thinks nothing about your body is going to change as a result of this baby, he is delusional. Hope this helps in your argument!
I'm a logic person, I like to confront stupidity with an insurmountable wall of facts:
1- cost of breastfeeding infant for one year = $0
Cost of formula for one year = $2000+
2- breastfed babies have demonstrably superior immune systems. Which means less trips to the doctor. Which means less money spent. Trust me on this one. My son only nursed for 5 months due to some unforeseen complications. My daughter nurses for a year. He has an immune system that struggles. She is as healthy as a horse and rarely ever goes to the dr.
3- breastfed babies have higher IQs and higher incomes as adults (proof: https://www.cnn.com/2015/03/18/health/breastfeeding-iq-income/). Smarter kids with higher incomes won't live in your basement forever and suck all your resources away.
4- breasts sag because they fluctuate in size during pregnancy and become engorged with milk. They become engorged with milk regardless of whether you actually breastfeed the baby or not. The engorgement will go away when you don't feed the baby at all, but the damage will be done. Refusing to breastfeed won't prevent the sagging from happening.
5- see all that money you saved above from breastfeeding your baby? If he's all that against sagging (which will happen at some point due to age anyways), use that extra cash for a boob job.
You sound devoted to your husband and family. I commend that. But if he thinks nothing about your body is going to change as a result of this baby, he is delusional. Hope this helps in your argument!
Ok, I'm all for breastfeeding, but this is a wildly skewed take on it. My formula fed kid is healthy as a horse and vastly exceeding intellectual
Milestones, thank you very much. I'm sure my guidance of her education and financial support will have more to do with her professional success than whether she sucks my boob. My
aunt breastfed my cousin, and he's a GD moron who gets fired from every job. So there's THAT anecdotal story to counter yours. I also guess breast pump accessories, lanolin, nursing covers, boppy pillows, etc. are all free, right?
I'm with @Pontot31 on this & I have to agree 100%. My children were formula fed & both my boys are healthy happy & exceeding intellectually. So while I am all for breastfeeding it does not mean a formulae fed baby is going to be and less intellectual than a breastfed baby.
I guess the issue in this post is a mother's right to choose without being pushed into something she disagrees with. Which is also your point. The breast vs. formula debate is as much cultural as it is scientific at this point in my opinion.
I wonder if there's something more to his objections that he can't quite verbalise. This is your first baby together, right? Maybe he's worried about missing out on the bonding opportunity by not being able to give baby her bottle? If all he's concerned about is the aesthetically pleasing nature of your boobs then he's being a jerk and eff that noise. But the see-the-good-in-everyone side of me wonders if there isn't a little more to it...
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I guess the issue in this post is a mother's right to choose without being pushed into something she disagrees with. Which is also your point. The breast vs. formula debate is as much cultural as it is scientific at this point in my opinion.
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Oh, I totally get the original OPs point, and fully agree that a woman can choose WHATEVER feeding path works best for HER. I just can't see this kind of nonsensical generalization about breastfeeding making you magically exponentially healthier, smarter, and more successful and keep my mouth shut.
It is a cultural difference...he was born and raised in Mexico until 2009 when we met.. When I talked to him and his brother this morning they explained its different there then in the U.S. ... I showed him the pros and cons of both... He told the thought of it made him uncomfortable since it's different then what he's use to.. I understand where all you of you lovely ladies are coming from... We resolved it this morning and now completely sees my side of everything and he in my corner supporting me..
So happy to hear that @oorl11052015 . There's enough crazy to deal with as a mommy without having to fight your SO over something as fundfundamental as feeding.
It seems you really want to nurse. Otherwise, others opinions wouldn't matter. I don't think this has anything to do with money. Having nursed two kids and with one on the way I can honestly say my breasts are not any more saggy. Yes, they did sag a bit from the first pregnancy. I can't say it was from breastfeeding though. I was a full B before and now I am a full C on a normal basis. So it could be just from them getting bigger/heavier. With you being a F, and I mean this as kindly as possible and with no offense, do you think it's going to make a difference? I hope your husband truly comes around and understands the benefits and what is really important here. Ultimately, you're the mom, you decide. Good Luck!
By the way, I just read your most recent post. Being of latino descent, I am having a hard time understanding why him being hispanic (Mexican) has anything to do with this. In our culture it is the norm to breastfeed. If anything it is frowned upon if you don't. One reason is because formula is so expensive and most people that live in these scarce countries can't afford it. I really think there is more to this story than you are leading on.
By the way, I just read your most recent post. Being of latino descent, I am having a hard time understanding why him being hispanic (Mexican) has anything to do with this. In our culture it is the norm to breastfeed. If anything it is frowned upon if you don't. One reason is because formula is so expensive and most people that live in these scarce countries can't afford it. I really think there is more to this story than you are leading on.
it's different in HIS family I didn't say every Hispanic family is like that.. But in my husbands family they never breast fed any of there children and it made him uncomfortable.. I re read and realized I did miss a sentence or two in my explanation and thank you for making me realize that.. Will make sure to word things better next time or just go back and edit it to say what it's suppose to say in the correct way..
@oorl11052015 I have to commend your for taking comments and not being snippy or calling names. You handled yourself like a grownup. I am glad you and your husband talked things out.
@oorl11052015 I have to commend your for taking comments and not being snippy or calling names. You handled yourself like a grownup. I am glad you and your husband talked things out.
Yeah, the rest of TB needs to take note. This is how you have a discussion! Props to OP
Ahhh you guys are so nice and I was always taught to hold myself accountable when I'm wrong and that's one thing that no matter what I'm doing or where I'm doing it I'll always make sure that if something is wrong or worded funny to fix it or explain myself better.. That's one lesson that I thank my mom for teaching me..
My goodness! Not to jump on the negative bandwagon but His reasoning is ridiculous. First of all, and this is just MY opinion, being frugal should have nothing to do with it, this never occurred to me. Breast feeding would be the most natural way to feed your baby and thus many women view this as the automatic plan A. Ofcorse if you can't then don't. But for him to be thinking selfishly about how your boobs would look after come on! Talk about a blow to your confidence about your post baby body and lack of mature thought towards what's best for baby. hopefully once the baby arrives he'll be able to see the big picture:)
For those of you who tried to vilify me for suggesting that there is a link between breastfeeding and higher IQs, sorry, but the link is there. It has been shown time and again in respected, peer reviewed studies, with the particular study I posted being published in The Lancet, one of the most highly-regarded medical journals in the world. This, of course, does not mean that if you don't breastfeed, your child will be an idiot doomed to a life of mediocrity. As I mentioned in my OWN post (which you seemed to selectively read), my own son was formula fed and he is a bright, happy, well-developed boy. But he does have more health struggles than my breastfed daughter. I provided the scientific, peer-reviewed data to this woman to bolster her argument as to why she was entitled to breastfeed her baby if she so wishes. Not to make you feel poorly about your own decisions to feed your children as you see fit. This is a feed about why this woman should be able to breastfeed her baby if she wants to. I was giving her information to help in that regard. It has nothing to do with degrading someone else's choice to formula feed.
For those of you who tried to vilify me for suggesting that there is a link between breastfeeding and higher IQs, sorry, but the link is there. It has been shown time and again in respected, peer reviewed studies, with the particular study I posted being published in The Lancet, one of the most highly-regarded medical journals in the world. This, of course, does not mean that if you don't breastfeed, your child will be an idiot doomed to a life of mediocrity. As I mentioned in my OWN post (which you seemed to selectively read), my own son was formula fed and he is a bright, happy, well-developed boy. But he does have more health struggles than my breastfed daughter. I provided the scientific, peer-reviewed data to this woman to bolster her argument as to why she was entitled to breastfeed her baby if she so wishes. Not to make you feel poorly about your own decisions to feed your children as you see fit. This is a feed about why this woman should be able to breastfeed her baby if she wants to. I was giving her information to help in that regard. It has nothing to do with degrading someone else's choice to formula feed.
The problem with that study and studies like it, is that they fail to control for racial, economic, cultural, educational and other factors (like the IQ of the mother) which makes them less accurate. Women with higher IQs are more likely to breastfeed, wealthier women are more likely to breastfeed, women with more advanced education are more likely to breastfeed...they are also more likely to pass on these traits to their offspring. See where I'm going with this?
Ohio state (?) performed a sibling study that best controlled for these factors because they compared siblings where in one was breastfed and the other was formula fed and many of these benefits turned out to be overstated. The specifically studied siblings in order to control for selection bias in the study the way previous studies had been unable to do.
I'm all for breastfeeding, I'm planning to with this LO if I am able. However, I'm also not going to perpetuate this myth that you will have a genius, high achieving child with perfect health just because you breastfed.
I appreciate all of your input ladies and let's not turn this into an argument about breast feeding please.. That was not the intention of this post.. I know all the statistics and that it varies with everybody.. Since the matter has been resolved it is no longer an issue... I appreciate all of your input ladies
Re: Husband is completely against the idea of breast feeding..
If it doesn't work, you can let him know that he's no longer to spend much time outside because you don't want him to get wrinkly. He'd also better make sure he goes to the gym regularly to keep himself in shape. If he gets to dictate body standards to you, well love is a two way street.
I guess the issue in this post is a mother's right to choose without being pushed into something she disagrees with. Which is also your point. The breast vs. formula debate is as much cultural as it is scientific at this point in my opinion.
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*YCSWU June Siggy*
DS Born May 5th, 2012
Baby #2 due November 19th, 2015
Married 9/28/13
DS born 11/12/15
EDD 8/13/18
it's different in HIS family I didn't say every Hispanic family is like that.. But in my husbands family they never breast fed any of there children and it made him uncomfortable.. I re read and realized I did miss a sentence or two in my explanation and thank you for making me realize that.. Will make sure to word things better next time or just go back and edit it to say what it's suppose to say in the correct way..
Baby Boy born on 1/14/13