I miscarried my baby over a year and a half ago. In fact if he had been carried to term his 1st birthday would have been this week. I was 18 years old and in no way ready to be having a baby, but I had every intention of keeping him anyway. When did you (if you did) stop thinking about what they would have been like? Am I being stupid that I love this person who wasn't even real for more than a few weeks? That would have completely "ruined" all my plans? It's not like I spend all day every day on it, but the past week has been pretty awful.
I'm so sorry. I pray that you continue to heal over time. I don't really have that much advice for you, as I only lost my babies a little over a week ago. My guess would be that it never completely goes away and milestones (like birthdays) will always remind you. But, I can already tell that time allows me to go longer periods of time without having a breakdown. I hope you continue to heal and one day we both have our rainbow babies when the time is right.
Re: When?