MIL just let her 'grandma' nickname be known...

LoveLee85 · May 2015

...and I'm NOT okay with it. Her current grandkids call her 'grandma', yet she signed a card for the baby as "Pawpa and Mawma" ?!?! Umm, you want my baby to call you momma?! No, sorry this is not happening. It's my baby, you have your own kids that still call you mom, get over it! GAH! Why does this just piss me off to no end. Lol.

Also, what's so wrong with being Grandma?! I don't get this. If my kid call you gran/granny/grams, or something else on their own, okay. But when did being known as 'Grandma' become a bad thing?! I had two sets of 'grandma and grandpa', and I loved it!!!!

I will refer to her an grandma to my baby boy, I'm not letting my kids call her momma!!

mybabynumber2 · May 2015

Don't blame you! That's crazy lol.Stick to your guns mama! :-)

BeachBabe22 · May 2015

I think that's a pretty common name for a grandma. My MIL changed what she wanted to be called so many times and now it's nana. She wanted to be mommom and I politely told her that my daughter would already have a mommom on my side of the family and I didn't want it to be confusing for her.

cg0112358 · May 2015

Where I'm from mawamaw and pawpaw are commonly used for grandparents. Both of my husband's parents (FIL/SMIL and MIL/SFIL) go by this.

LoveLee85 · May 2015

I can tell you it's not happening! Lol Not common where I'm from to the point I have NEVER heard of it!!! Papa yes, I hear all the time, but papa doesn't sound like daddy! I have only heard: nana, grams, Grammy, gran, before. My baby won't call her momma or anything close.

rconrad6714 · May 2015

So I'm not saying you are wrong, so please don't take it that way. I just wanted to give you a different perspective on the nickname. My cousins and I actually called our grandfather Pawpaw too. This of course was only for my mother's side as I was closer with them than my father's parents when I was little. I have called my grandmother that for 30 years. It's a very common name. It's not pronounced momma like you or she may think. It actually sounds like awe at the end of the mmm sound, so mawe mawe put together. To us it meant more than grandma, grandmother, etc. and is more informal. She means the world to my cousins and I, and I couldn't imagine not having her in our lives. She was and has always been like a second mother to us as she watched us when our parents had to work during summer vacation, she put us on the bus in the morning and got us off in the afternoon, and she was always the one that we stayed with when we were sick since our parents have had to work full time in order to give us the best loves possible. (Sorry for the long post, but I love the nickname.)

mrsoirish · May 2015

Chances are your child will say whatever they can pronounce at some point and it will stick. My niece started calling my mom Bobo and that's what stuck.

LoveLee85 · May 2015

rconrad6714 said:
So I'm not saying you are wrong, so please don't take it that way. I just wanted to give you a different perspective on the nickname. My cousins and I actually called our grandfather Pawpaw too. This of course was only for my mother's side as I was closer with them than my father's parents when I was little. I have called my grandmother that for 30 years. It's a very common name. It's not pronounced momma like you or she may think. It actually sounds like awe at the end of the mmm sound, so mawe mawe put together. To us it meant more than grandma, grandmother, etc. and is more informal. She means the world to my cousins and I, and I couldn't imagine not having her in our lives. She was and has always been like a second mother to us as she watched us when our parents had to work during summer vacation, she put us on the bus in the morning and got us off in the afternoon, and she was always the one that we stayed with when we were sick since our parents have had to work full time in order to give us the best loves possible. (Sorry for the long post, but I love the nickname.)

I understand why you like it, she meant a lot to you! Sounds like you had a great relationship. This lady just oversteps boundaries non-stop, says rude things to me. My point is Papa is fine because it doesn't sound like Daddy. Does that make sense? Her current grandkids call her 'grandma', so I'm not sure why she wants our kids to call her different. I don't like it and won't use it. Lol.

LittlemsD · May 2015

My mom is known as Mamaw (this is how she spells it), pronounced ma'am-awe, and is very common where they're located in southern US. My Dad is Bampa because DS1 had a hard time with Pawpa and grandpa and that just stuck. I have issues with my MIL wanting to be Mammy because she pronounces it soooo close to mommy. DH says he doesn't hear a difference in the two, they are similar except the fact I don't get along with any of my ILs.

You have to go with your gut. My kids all call MIL Grams because that's what we call her when we talk about her. LOs spend more time with you than them and it's honestly not hard to just teach them something else. She still says Mammy but it doesn't stick.

PrincessPiper · May 2015

LoveLee85 said:
...and I'm NOT okay with it. Her current grandkids call her 'grandma', yet she signed a card for the baby as "Pawpa and Mawma" ?!?! Umm, you want my baby to call you momma?! No, sorry this is not happening. It's my baby, you have your own kids that still call you mom, get over it! GAH! Why does this just piss me off to no end. Lol.

Also, what's so wrong with being Grandma?! I don't get this. If my kid call you gran/granny/grams, or something else on their own, okay. But when did being known as 'Grandma' become a bad thing?! I had two sets of 'grandma and grandpa', and I loved it!!!!

I will refer to her an grandma to my baby boy, I'm not letting my kids call her momma!!

I think she probably meant to spell it mamaw (ma'am-maw). That's common.

We have one mamaw (but she calls herself grandma a lot- super annoying) and my mom is Nana.

TIARA0322 · May 2015

So funny you brought this up. I would not let the Mawmaw/Pawpaw happen. Too close to mom and pa for me.
My MIL wants to be called Grandma Hudson with the last name attached. She lives in another state so I haven't seen her around his daughters from his first marriage much so can't remember what they call her. I asked hubby if his girls call her that and he said yes but I don't know. I'll have to see. I may just be sensitive right now. I don't know.

What's so wrong with just grandma?!?! My mother will be called Grandmommy which is what my sons made up.

LittlemsD · May 2015

TIARA0322 said:

So funny you brought this up. I would not let the Mawmaw/Pawpaw happen. Too close to mom and pa for me. My MIL wants to be called Grandma Hudson with the last name attached. She lives in another state so I haven't seen her around his daughters from his first marriage much so can't remember what they call her. I asked hubby if his girls call her that and he said yes but I don't know. I'll have to see. I may just be sensitive right now. I don't know. What's so wrong with just grandma?!?! My mother will be called Grandmommy which is what my sons made up.

A lot of people try to pick something else other than Gran----- because they say that makes them feel old. At least that's what I've always come across.

squigles28 · May 2015

I'd just have your kids call her grandma and say they picked it up from their older cousins

LoveLee85 · May 2015

TIARA0322 said:
So funny you brought this up. I would not let the Mawmaw/Pawpaw happen. Too close to mom and pa for me.
My MIL wants to be called Grandma Hudson with the last name attached. She lives in another state so I haven't seen her around his daughters from his first marriage much so can't remember what they call her. I asked hubby if his girls call her that and he said yes but I don't know. I'll have to see. I may just be sensitive right now. I don't know.

What's so wrong with just grandma?!?! My mother will be called Grandmommy which is what my sons made up.

Yeah, it just really got under my skin because we don't have a good relationship, at all. It's just too close in my book!

piscesmommy222 · May 2015

I live in north Carolina and that is the way 99% of grandparents are called( pa-paw and ma-maw). But honestly just communicate what you are comfortable with and it will be fine. I had to have a nice discussion with my mom about what she wanted to be called and we came up with something we both liked.

WDDCH · May 2015

My MIL was determined to find a name other than grandma. She told me it was because grandma was "old". Well..... okay?! If anyone refers to her as a grandma (not the kids, just unsuspecting adults) she corrects them and tells them she is NOT grandma. Is it REALLY that big a deal for a stranger to sweetly ask a child, "Oh is this grandma?" and for her to sharply correct them to the point of embarrassment? No. FIL could have cared less but she dubbed him Poppy and she named herself Nonna.

I get where you're coming from. I also wonder why this current generation of baby boomer grandparents are freaking over the classic "grandma and grandpa" names. And I'm not talking ethnic refugees or new Americans who have these names in their own languages.

My mom was always grandma until a niece of mine started calling her Gaga as a toddler. That stuck. And even though my mom died before my kids were born I still refer to her as their Gaga because it was cute and a child-given love name.

bpv101283 · May 2015

My son chose himself. They are Grandmom and pop pop or TV Grandmom and TV pop pop for my in laws in England since they Skype.

I would ignore it if I were you but I see it being frustrating. Grandparents need boundaries fairly early in my opinion. They need to be fully on board with your wishes.

mrscate88 · May 2015

@lovelee85 Yeah that's annoying, if all the other grandkids call her grandma, then she should be grandma. I don't have my mom in my life but my MIL is having her first grandbaby call her Tita (they're Hispanic). It's cute, I honestly prefer grandma, but if the other grandkids call her Tita then I'm sure mine will too. We called my great grandma ma'am-maw because they were all from the south and we called my grandma 'grandma' haha.

@WDDCH your MILs behavior with complete strangers would drive me crazy. Nothing wrong with the classic grandma and grandpa at all!

WDDCH · May 2015

mrscaterosales said:

@WDDCH your MILs behavior with complete strangers would drive me crazy. Nothing wrong with the classic grandma and grandpa at all!

I hate to say it but she doesn't have social grace when speaking to people. If she corrects someone who is themselves a grandma (and goes by that name to their grandkids) and she just goes on and on about how OLD it is and how much she hates it then I can see it makes them feel defensive and upset.

There are just more graceful ways to bring the info to light without tearing down others. And with all these different pet names for grandparents I don't see why she can't give people some slack. Like how the heck are they supposed to remember her specific self-given name?!

melewen · May 2015

Just agree to it then teach your kid to call her grandmother. I constantly tease my mom and tell her I'm going to make the kids call her abuela.. She gets so mad! She hates "nana" so much so naturally I got her a Mother's Day card from the baby that said "to nana".. Obviously you don't have a good relationship with your MIL so it's not the same even a little but growing up in the south I had a lot of friends who had mawmaw's and they didn't sound like mama. It sounds bizarre in my opinion! But just know they don't actually sound alike. You teach the kid to talk so it's in your hands

mrscate88 · May 2015

WDDCH said:

mrscaterosales said:

@WDDCH your MILs behavior with complete strangers would drive me crazy. Nothing wrong with the classic grandma and grandpa at all!
I hate to say it but she doesn't have social grace when speaking to people. If she corrects someone who is themselves a grandma (and goes by that name to their grandkids) and she just goes on and on about how OLD it is and how much she hates it then I can see it makes them feel defensive and upset.

There are just more graceful ways to bring the info to light without tearing down others. And with all these different pet names for grandparents I don't see why she can't give people some slack. Like how the heck are they supposed to remember her specific self-given name?!

Haha, I'd be SOO embarrassed! And what is so wrong with grandma anyway? It's such an endearing title, similar to mama, only 'grand'!!!

Sweet Sadie Mae · May 2015

I don't think I like that. My parents are divorced and remarried so my kids have three sets of grandparents. My mom and step dad are grandma Gail and grandpa rich. Dad and step mom are pop pop and grandma (my maiden name) and my in-laws are Grammy and opa. Both sets of my grandparents were grandma and grandpa. I've heard Mimi and nonna which are cute. My daughter calls me mommy or mama and mama is too close to mawma for my liking.

J0C0TX · May 2015

I understand exactly where you're coming from.
My MIL is meme (her spelling) and it all about herher

MW5280 · May 2015

When I was a kid, my grandmas were Grandma Pat and Grandma Phyllis...until a cousin couldn't say grandma. Then one turned into Mommy Pat. Later on, my sister couldn't say grandma, either. So, the other grandma turned into Meema. (For reasons that are unclear, everyone could say Grandad and Papa just fine...)

I have a friend who's kids changed their grandfathers name from Grandpa to ChopChop. Those same kids also have a Gags and LaLa, now that I think about it.

Anyway, my point is that adults can attempt to give themselves a name but kids are going to change it.

Achang727 · May 2015

My DH is Chinese so the pronunciation for "grandma" sounds like MaMat. I don't really mind too much. What about if you suggest Memaw or Mimi to her? Emphasis on the "Me" haha. Good luck!

chelseajeanene · May 2015

I think it's odd that she just signed it and never spoke to you first? My moms been thinking of what she wants to be called since the day I told her I was pregnant. I think she may have mistakenly misspelled it though, but who knows. Honestly though why would she have other grandkids call her grandma and then change it for this child? There's going to be confusion

sphillips18 · May 2015

My mom isn't thrilled about being a grandma. She's stuck on the thought that she's too young to be one (she's not lol) so she can't even make up her mind about what to be called but I'd be dammed if my daughter called ever her mawma.

seamonkey4 · May 2015

I guess because I'm from the south I don't see the big deal. I'm letting my parents choose what she wants to be called, if LO changes it to their own special word, then we will stick with that. I figure I've got enough on my plate as it is to worry about what my LO will call the grandparents.

lauramichelle58 · May 2015

Absolutely NOT. I have NEVER heard of that where I'm from. YOU are momma...not her. Don't change your mind. That is ridiculous.

rachelkawesome · May 2015

squigles28 said:

I'd just have your kids call her grandma and say they picked it up from their older cousins

Agreed! I think it's so weird she wants to try to change it with your kid!

sarahlinde · May 2015

I understand that you dont like it or agree with it but its mawmaw not momma. My kids and my sisters kids all call my mom mawmaw. It is very common in my area though. My sisters husbands mom wants to go by gha gha (not sure of spelling) sounds like ja ja.......so it could be worse. Why she would want to change what she's called makes no sense to me. Good luck with that one!

sugarmagn0lia · May 2015

My parents haven't yet decided what they want to be called, but I agree with the posters saying that for the most part, the kids decide. One of my sets of great-grandparents were dubbed MooMoo and PooPoo by one of their first grandkids, and that's what they were called. Or even Moo and Poo for short!

@WDDCH That's funny that they call her Gaga! My SO is Ho-Chunk, and that's actually what grandma is in the language. My babies will actually have lots of Gaga's (and Cholka's (grandpa)), because it's also just the title for people of that generation. They'll all be my babes grandma's and grandpa's.

TeacherMom210 · May 2015

I've never heard that before (I'm from NJ), but even if it were some sort of tradition in DH's family, I wouldn't allow it for the same reason as you - boundary issues. My MIL picked up DD#1 and went to pose for a picture when my GMIL wanted a picture of DD and "her parents." If you think it will be problem and it doesn't sit right with you, especially since she seems to be pushing this for your child only, don't let it happen. As others have said, kids often come up with their own names, but sometimes they do pick up on what you use, so refer to your MIL as "grandma" and your LO will pick up some variant of that. I second blame the cousins.

Mehilovna · May 2015

My mom doesn't like to be called grandma either. My niece and nephew call her Baba. (Short for babushka, grandma in Russian) my LO will also be calling her Baba. It's what we called my mom's mom and it's a nostalgic thing for me to hear. I can't wait. What if your LO called her Meemaw, rather than mawmaw. Sounds a little less like momma... :-??

J0C0TX · May 2015

I've got the antidote.
Great show on fox a few years ago - raising hope. The great grandma was mawmaw (played by the brilliant Cloris Leachman) and she was hilariously awful... You need to find a few pictures of her in the role- might be off putting to mil and if but - just picture your mil in that role

rebeccabloomwood · May 2015

I think it's bizarre to just declare a name as a grandparent. I can understand for cultural reasons if they choose something else but it would annoy me too.
I think it's adorable when kids come up with their own crazy names for grandparents though.

Vane8910 · May 2015

I think you are being a little mean, she just wants to be part of your child's life. I don't think it's wrong to want to be called something special, maybe you could suggest another alternative to make her still feel like she had a say in it. She probably just wants to be an important part of her sons growing family.

CEW225 · May 2015

I'm with the other southern people. It's the most common name for grandparents down here. I never would mistake anybody says "mamaw" or "mawmaw" as mom, but that may be because it's all I've ever known. "Meemaw" is another pronunciation some people use. Both sets of my grandparents were "mamaw" and "papaw". That was even how we referred to my parents when talking about our dog before I got pregnant. Maybe she didn't spell it the right way?

If you definitely don't want her called that, then you could always talk to her, or do something like what others have said and just keep referring to her as grandma. I've also heard "nana" and "nannie" down here as well.

als8711 · May 2015

My MIL, whom I hate, waned to be called Mimi and I shut that down real quick. She's luckily if my kids call her grandma lol. I'm not okay with nicknames that in any way resemble mama or mom or mommy. I would prefer my kids come up with their own name of its not grandma. They call my mom Baba Bc that's what they came up with. Just make it known that your kids will call them grandma and grandpa, and if she calls herself mawma correct her.

str13 · May 2015

Just echoing what others have said, this is an insanely common term for grandparents where I live. My girls actually have two sets of Mawmaw and Pawpaw. It's not a term that I'm fond of at all. I never called my own grandparents that. And your kiddos will call them whatever they want to anyways. I do think it's weird that she wants to go by something else now when she's gone by another name all this time.
DD1 is almost two and doesn't call anyone anything except for my parents, "Ma" and "Papa". It actually pisses my MIL off that she isn't called anything yet!!

So maybe your kiddo will act like mine and refuse to call people by their names!

BeachBabe22 · May 2015

als8711 said:
My MIL, whom I hate, waned to be called Mimi and I shut that down real quick. She's luckily if my kids call her grandma lol. I'm not okay with nicknames that in any way resemble mama or mom or mommy. I would prefer my kids come up with their own name of its not grandma. They call my mom Baba Bc that's what they came up with. Just make it known that your kids will call them grandma and grandpa, and if she calls herself mawma correct her.

What's wrong with being called mimi? That's what my mom is called because my oldest nephew started calling her that and it stuck. I never thought it was too similar to mom or mommy.

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