New here, looking for support

team13 · May 2015

hi ladies, I'm new to this board as I just found out I'm expecting twins. It's still very early (6w5d) but at our US monday heard two strong heartbeats. Doc said everything looks good for right now and scheduled another US for the 29th. I'm a FTM and struggled with infertility and am absolutely panicked about the possibility of losing one or both twins. It didn't help that my doc spent most of our appt reviewing the chances of a miscarriage and the option of selective reduction. I guess what I'm wondering at this point is if anyone else got the same speech I did, and if anyone has some suggestions for how to stay positive and keep the faith during the first trimester. Don't get me wrong--I am thrilled and feel blessed!! -- but am just scared out of my mind. Thanks in advance and I hope I'll be sticking around this board for the next 7 months!

KCwalza146 · May 2015

Congratulations! I found out I was having twins at 9w 5d and was terrified of losing one or both, for me that fear has not gone away at 24w. Try and stay positive, I know it's hard. My dr. Did not mention selective reduction, so no advice there.

masterofallcheese · May 2015

Congratulations! I struggled with loss and infertility before this pregnancy and I understand your fears. I am at 22w1d and I assure you some of the anxiety will fade over time. Nothing was said to me about selective reduction. At the 6w1d ultrasound doctor did say that because two heartbeats were shown the chances of survival from chromosome abnormalities was 80%.

team13 · May 2015

Thank you both! @masterofallcheese that's very reassuring to hear. I definitely heard both heartbeats but the doctor was so emphatic about the risks of loss that I was wondering if he was seeing something worrisome that he just wasn't sharing! 80% is a good number. I'll keep that in mind.

ajhellmuth · May 2015

I also found out at a little after 6 weeks & saw both heartbeats. But my doctor never even mentioned the risk of losing one or selective reduction. I'm sure he was just being open & honest but way to scare a new mommy!!! Congrats to you & your blessings and just try to take care of your yourself & don't google!!!!!

dogsombrero · May 2015

I found out at 8 weeks (2 good heartbeats) and just had my 12 week scan. At this point I'm no longer scared of vanishing twin. It's finally sinking in that we are likely bringing two home in a few short months. I didn't talk with my doctor about selective reduction at all it wasn't even mentioned but I'm in a very religious area so that may be why.

vpine · May 2015

I was worried through most of my pregnancy. I had read about 'vanishing twin syndrome' and breathed sigh of relief each time ultrasound machine would turn on and I'd see both babies still there. Afterward, I was worried about down syndrome and abnormalities because the chances are higher in twins according to genetic counselor who freaked me out and I tested for everything and was worried during 30 week ultrasound when they couldn't measure the neck fluid. The last few ultrasounds were related to growth and I was worried because one baby was smaller than the other (normal) but the weights were always a little less than charts I'd see online (https://www.twinstuff.com/twinweights.htm) but I want you to know I made it to 37 weeks with healthy twin girls delivered at 4lb 11 oz and 5 lbs 5 oz and no NICU time, they were put in my hospital room right away, passed the car seat tests (another worry of mine) and sent home with me when I was discharged at 3 days (had c section). Hoping everything works out with your twins !

team13 · May 2015

Thank you thank you thank you!! All this positivity is helping. Counting down the days (ok, hours!) until my next US at 8 weeks. One more week to go. @ajhellmuth how far along are you now?

GoodSuri · May 2015

Thank you for posting. This is all good news! I am also having twins...currently 11 weeks. I saw them at 6 weeks and 8 weeks...good strong heartbeats at both appts.. i have this horrible fear we will lose one too. This gives me some reassurance.

team13 · May 2015

@GoodSuri, glad to know you were able to hear the heartbeats at both visits. Hopefully your anxiety will start to ease a little bit when you hit the 12 week mark. I'm 7 weeks today and have an US next Friday. Counting down the days!!!

abeglin · May 2015

Oh I remember that anxiety all to well! It's hard to actually believe something is going your way after struggling so long to be pregnant. At our first ultrasound in the fertility clinic, the tech said 'just because there is two babies now doesn't mean you will take two babies home with you'... Freaking terrible right?! Those words stuck with me throughout my entire pregnancy! I even remember thinking about it the day before I delivered too! And how great it was to actually take them home with me... I wanted to call her right then and tell her off!

My advice to you would be to try your hardest to not think about the what ifs or the worst case scenario! Stay off google for sure!!! Worrying doesn't change the outcome, it just takes away from this special time. I wish so bad that I could have bottled my anxiety up and enjoyed my pregnancy. Part of me thinks that I didn't even really believe I was pregnant until the day before I delivered... It makes me sad and makes me feel like I missed out on some things. So try your best to just breathe and stay positive! I got a Doppler for home through baby beats.com thAt helped give me some peace of mind in those early days! Good luck!!

Snowy5 · May 2015

I'm so glad I'm not the only one feeling this way!
We also found out at 6 weeks 5 days and I haven't had a scan since. Not due to have one until almost 13 weeks so I am worried all the time!
Our first son had a vanishing twin, but we weren't aware it was a twin pregnancy, it was only when I had some bleeding at 11 weeks that we found out about the other sac.
I am counting down until our next scan in a little under 3 weeks.
I hope your next scan gives you some more reassurance

team13 · May 2015

@abeglin, my RE said the exact same thing to me!!! I was floored. Then he went on and on about how I have as much a chance of having twins as I do of having one. Reminded me of this yet again when I emailed him with concerns about spotting. Telling me that I may miscarry one or both does nothing but increase my anxiety and has totally robbed me of having any sense of excitement. When we go on Friday, and (God willing) i hear two heartbeats again, I am going to politely tell him I'm not interested in hearing about selective reduction or the chances of miscarrying. When you had your Doppler, how did you know you were hearing two different heartbeats and not the same baby's?

@Snowy5, that's a long wait!! I'll be thinking of you. How far along are you?

Snowy5 · May 2015

@team13 I'm 10 weeks today

20 days until the next scan, not that I'm counting lol. Keep us updated with how you go

SeekingSmall · May 2015

I conceived our big surprise twins 17 months after a miscarriage. I feared losing them the whole time (they're 10 weeks old now!). It's scary, and I personally think that your dr was an ass to hit you with everything at your appt. Try and breathe, you saw heartbeats! It's okay to be excited! Every pregnancy comes with risks, so try and not let your mind think this one will be any worse. Congratulations!

team13 · May 2015

Thanks for the feedback! Yesterday's US went great. Both babies are growing on target and their heartbeats are strong. The experience this time around was much more positive. Doctor wants to see me again next week but it sounds like he expects everything to stay on the right track. Breathing a sigh of relief. Thanks everyone!

Snowy5 · May 2015

I am so happy for you! That is wonderful news

KCwalza146 · May 2015

That's so great!

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