I'm only expecting one but I STILL got the question....I can only guess it's because I'm 40. A co-worker *who is not a friend by any stretch of the imagination* asked me flat out, "is it natural or IVF"? I was so stunned that I asked her, "what"? to indicate that it was inappropriate and shut your pie hole, but she asked me again anyway. I just told her "natural" and walked away. If I wasn't so stunned, I would've had some choice words because it's no ones business!!! UGH!!! I documented it with my HR representative right away.
My twins are natural, and they do not run in our family. Mainly because they are identical. What I don't understand is why so many ladies get offended by people asking if they are natural? There's no shame in IVF. Maybe they are going through the process and your story would give them hope. My twins are no better than yours because my body did it on its own and your needed a little nudge. I say get over it people ask weird questions all the time.
I don't think the question is rude exactly, some people are just curious, and some are going through their own struggles. I do think it's no ones business. We got it a lot during pregnancy (nope they don't run in our families and yes they were a huge surprise....we're pretty sure they're identical) and continue to get asked it now. But let's face it, the world acts like they've never seen twins before, you'll be approached a lot and feel like a freak show, so the questions are just par for the course.
Did you use infertility or get help? Why are you struggling with IF or need help getting pregnant? OR would you ask a pregnant women with one baby that question?
Wow you are really big for twins! Wow you are also really ...are you having twins too(they r not pregnant).
I have gotten snarker over the past few weeks as my emotions are on over drive haha
*** Siggy warning ***
DH: 31 normal
Me: 31 tubal disease
Married 2011
TTC 2012
Clomid x 2 with OBGYN: BFN
IF testing 2013: blocked left tube, low AMH
March 2014: Ectopic rupture, emergency surgery and D&C. Absent left tube and now closed right tube
October 2014: IVF with ICSI #1 - BFP (17r/14icsi/12f - 2ET 10/27; 7 frosties; Nov7 beta #1= 806; Nov10 beta #2= 2738; TWINS!!!!! EDD late June/early July 2015)
My close friends/immdeiate family didn't believe me when I told them random people/coworkers etc asked if my twins were natural or if we did IVF, until ppl started asking THEM about whether or not my husband & I did fertility. I'm usually pretty open but my husband isn't and was clear he didn't want anyone to know, including his side of the family-so I would never go into detail but I was shocked every time it happened.
I'm 35 weeks now, so nobody had asked in a few months but I would always say that twins do run in the family (dh has two cousins who had twins, my paternal grandfather was a twin & my maternal grandmother's cousin's daughter had twins haha that counts, right?) but ppl would as which side & I even had two coworkers and my mil say "are you SURE you didn't do IVF?" Luckily, in all those situations there was someone else there that was blown away by the rudeness that THEY said something like "what the hell do you care" or simply told them they were being rude.
I understand if ppl are going through the struggle of infertility, but I think starting the convo off with "we are having trouble getting pregnant..." goes a long way. Most ppl are just rude and ignorant.
My B/G twins were conceived through IVF and I'm very open about having IVF. Except when strangers ask "Are they natural?" I used to smile and nod but after 2+ years of this question I have had it. Last week we were in the mall and the 100th person stopped us to look and ask if they were twins. This woman who was nipped, tucked and sucked in every direction looked at me and said "Are they natural?" With a snotty arrogant attitude. And she cocked her head and looked me up and down like she could tell! (Side note: my twins are active 21 month olds and I am currently 28 weeks pregnant with a singleton) Needless to say I kind of lost my mind. I smiled and said "You first! Are your breasts and face natural or did you pay a PS to do that to you? I'd get a second opinion if I were you!" My husband was mortified but he burst out laughing! The woman was in complete shock! So I then said "I'm sorry, was that an inappropriate question for me to ask a stranger?" And then we walked away! I didn't handle this situation well but I blame it on the pregnancy hormones! Lmao!
I am glad this is brought up. I am annoyed, outraged, and completely offended when people ask questions of this nature. No matter which way it happened it is a gift! My husband and I were pleasantly surprised to find out we were having twins, after a year of trying, and one cycle of clomid. We were not expecting 2, and it doesn't always happen! My doctor said it was a 5% chance. Regardless, we are so happy, and excited, and I can't believe people are rude enough to ask if we had help. It is hard enough to deal with infertility without people making you feel like you or your babies aren't good enough or "natural". I just had this conversation with my husband yesterday and I decided if i get asked this question again I am going to say I guess God wanted us doubly blessed!
Re: How do you respond to the "Are they natural?" question?
Do twins run in your family? Yes or they do now.
Did you use infertility or get help? Why are you struggling with IF or need help getting pregnant? OR would you ask a pregnant women with one baby that question?
Wow you are really big for twins! Wow you are also really ...are you having twins too(they r not pregnant).
I have gotten snarker over the past few weeks as my emotions are on over drive haha
I'm 35 weeks now, so nobody had asked in a few months but I would always say that twins do run in the family (dh has two cousins who had twins, my paternal grandfather was a twin & my maternal grandmother's cousin's daughter had twins haha that counts, right?) but ppl would as which side & I even had two coworkers and my mil say "are you SURE you didn't do IVF?" Luckily, in all those situations there was someone else there that was blown away by the rudeness that THEY said something like "what the hell do you care" or simply told them they were being rude.
I understand if ppl are going through the struggle of infertility, but I think starting the convo off with "we are having trouble getting pregnant..." goes a long way. Most ppl are just rude and ignorant.
I used to smile and nod but after 2+ years of this question I have had it.
Last week we were in the mall and the 100th person stopped us to look and ask if they were twins. This woman who was nipped, tucked and sucked in every direction looked at me and said "Are they natural?" With a snotty arrogant attitude. And she cocked her head and looked me up and down like she could tell!
(Side note: my twins are active 21 month olds and I am currently 28 weeks pregnant with a singleton)
Needless to say I kind of lost my mind. I smiled and said "You first! Are your breasts and face natural or did you pay a PS to do that to you? I'd get a second opinion if I were you!"
My husband was mortified but he burst out laughing!
The woman was in complete shock!
So I then said "I'm sorry, was that an inappropriate question for me to ask a stranger?" And then we walked away!
I didn't handle this situation well but I blame it on the pregnancy hormones! Lmao!