@claireloSC ... I truly can't believe it took the first time. I am sorry to hear that you went on such an epic roller coaster to end up where you are now. I mean, I think we are really lucky with the fertility center we have here in Nashville. My friend from Delaware flew here three months in a row to try with them due to their reputation. Unfortunately her eggs just weren't viable and they realized they were at the end of their own personal journey.
With PCOS, I would encourage you to select a DR. that understands that and knows how to handle it. For me, I lost a lot of weight the year and a half leading up to beginning our conception journey and that helped to regulate my periods and I was ovulating for 7 months before we tried. I pray you two have continued health and joy as you grow your family.
Hi ladies! @dpurejoy congratulations on your little bean!! Adorable! Those are the best...those first sonos. We too had our Sono and were able to hear the hearts beating...both at 126 bpms. It's so surreal to hear, but so amazing and peaceful! We also found out we are having a boy and a girl. My wife and I chose to do pgd testing before our embryo transfer. My mom new the genders the whole time and revealed them to us the day of our heartbeat sono! It was really special.
Originally, my wife and I were going to use donor sperm from a sperm bank, and we had talked about it for a while. But two years ago, one of our really amazing family friends and his wife divorced because he didn't want to have children. He came to us one day and said, I love yall, and I know how badly you want children...and I would love to be your sperm donor. He has never wanted children of his own...so he felt that it was his way of "giving back". We thought about it for a year before we decided to go ahead. We decided he will be called "uncle Andy," instead of dad. We feel really blessed that our children can have a father figure, and know where they came from biologically. He is a really great person and know that he will be a good person to be in their lives. We went through counseling and legal counseling about this decision to make sure it was the right thing to do. He signed over all of his parental rights and responsibilities the day of sperm collection, so legally he has no way of taking our kiddos away from us At first we were a little nervous about the decision, but now we can't see it any other way!
@claireloSC it's hard having to be let down so many times I have friends who went through fertility and had so many losses hat it nearly broke them and their spouses apart. I'm so happy for you! It was a long road for us bc we did a reciprocal IVF cycle. My wife had to go through the whole follicle stim cycle. The hormones caused her gallbladder to go whack, and she ended up having to have it removed the week before embryo retrieval. After we finally got her eggs and our embryos were fertilized, I had to start my Meds to prep my lining. Turns out I had an ovarian cyst that was interfering with the process...instead of proceeding, I too had to have surgery to remove the cyst. It put us back a whole month...I know it's not the same as losing embryos or miscarrying...but it felt like we were never going to get pregnant. The day of embryo transfer I felt like it wasn't real because it had taken 6 months just to get to that point. I'm glad that we can all share our stories! It's really nice talking to people who really get it. When we first started on this journey, our straight friends would say, "why spend 30k when you can just have sex for free..." I used to tell my wife, we need to join a support group. This is really great
tgrdance05 Def sounds like the ideal situation for a known donor! We didn't have any good candidates. The only person we thought about asking has some STDs so that ruled him out. I feel pretty comfortable with an open donor from a sperm bank. The shittiest thing about sperm banks are that frozen sperm is harder to conceive with. It was also really important to us that the kid could meet this guy eventually. I've read a lot of donor conceived stories and it seems like there is a lot of anger when they can't so that convinced me.
Reciprocal IVF sound so hard, dang. I totally know what you mean about 'taking 6 months to get to this point'! We had to skip cycles because of scheduling, when we switched sperm banks, when I got a new dr, etc etc. It gets so frustrating when you see a ton of people are like "I had a whoopsie". Not that I'm not happy for them but it's hard not to feel a little jealous.
I totally agree I have been dying to talk to other people in our situation. All of our straight friends and family say things like "just relax" and it's like dude I can't when I'm spending thousands of dollars to be poked and prodded in a doctor's office...
H&H 9 months to all!
Married DW 08.2013; AI 2x; IUI 6x; IUI #7 05.2015; DD born 2.2016 ; Reciprocal IVF FET #1 on 11.18.2020
My wife and I are going to tour the Vanderbilt Midwives facility tomorrow. We need to learn the process there and who we would be a patient of and if I need to see my OB GYN at all during it or if I would just become a patient of the midwives. So many things to figure out. I kind of want to go natural ... Tara thinks I am slightly crazy but can see where I am coming from. I am afraid to get ultrasounds after watching a documentary. I had one at 7 weeks and I am scheduled for 9 weeks and then again at 12 weeks ... so many checking in points. That is kind of why I want the midwife approach with less intervention. The doctor wants me to do testing but i don't want to. Tara is leaning with me towards the no but thinks I should get tested so we know for sure. So much on my mind today. So far my pregnancy has been easy and I can't wait to look pregnant!!
@dpurejoy you are not crazy for wanting to go natural...I get to see natural birth everyday, and it is the most beautiful thing on earth. I'm glad you went to check out the midwives...what did you think? Ultimately, with midwifery care, the ball is in your court. You make the decisions, you lead your prenatal care and labor. With a doctor, they make the decisions, they decide how your labor will go. Simple as that. Sometimes, when I put it this way, moms go "ohhhh, that's a big difference!" Not all obgyns practice that way, but for the most part, this is what you get. I highly recommend a midwife. With a midwife, yours and your baby's chances of a natural birth are significantly higher, with significantly better outcomes. The research speaks, so don't ignore it. You can go to midwife.org if your wife needs to see research to help convince her. Sometimes it's scary for our partner bc they feel like their jobs are to protect us and our babies, and protection to them means doctor, hospital, modern medicine. Us Americans have become accustomed to these ideas about how labor and birth should go! So sad!! (On my soap box sorry). If you decide the natural route, I would also highly suggest a doula
I'm glad you're having such an easy pregnancy! I've been so sick
Ok so I wrote this long novel and it cut it off!! My doctor had to put me on diclegis for the nausea bc I've lost 7lbs from not eating. So thAts been a blessing. It's helped me tremendously. Btw it's the only category A med available for nausea/vomiting in pregnancy...so super safe.
I was on cal last night and got to attend a beautiful water birth...perfect little 7lb 1oz baby girl. I cried bc my pregnancy hormones were in full swing yesterday, and wouldn't allow me not to (so embarrassing).
What do yall do for work? Have you told family/friends yet that your preggo? @dpurejoy you mentioned testing...what kind of testing. There's a couple of tests that can tell you what gender you're having in your first trimester...a lot of people do that testing (not for there risk assessment) but just to know if it's a boy or girl. I would highly recommend panorama or harmony testing if you have it available...they're the most accurate. We did pgd testing on our embryos before transfer, which I'm glad we did. It just gives you peace of mind knowing they are perfectly healthy in there
@tgrdance05 I work at a startup in the Bay Area in California.
In my town there are only two options, a crappy hospital and a nice birthing center, so I chose the latter a long time ago. I know two people who had their babies there and were happy with it. Everyone in my family has had c-sections going back 70 years so I want to be somewhere where I can if I have to.
Married DW 08.2013; AI 2x; IUI 6x; IUI #7 05.2015; DD born 2.2016 ; Reciprocal IVF FET #1 on 11.18.2020
We went to that informational session and we felt very good about it. This practice has two teams - blue team and green team. I was assigned to the blue team and I got excited. They separate the midwives so you end up seeing all of them on the team throughout your pregnancy. Once you are ready to deliver, you will have met and developed a relationship with all of them so you aren't afraid when you think about which one you could possibly get.
We also found out that the local med. school has senior nurse midwife students that have developed a volunteer doula schedule. I was excited to hear we had another option when it came to doula support.
My wife is totally on the same page as me. She goes to all of my appointments so she can develop that relationship as well. We will be giving birth on the L&D floor but we will be under the care of the midwives and will have developed a labor/delivery plan by then to make the experience unique to us!
I am a graphic designer and my wife is in advertising - both marketing/creative fields. I have a very flexible office and am not too worried to reveal the pregnancy to my boss (after 12 weeks).
Hey girls, it's been a while...how is everyone doing? We lost one of our twins at 7.5 weeks. It was super rough and I didn't want to talk about it. Apparently it's common in about 50% of IVF twins...I guess God had a different plan for that little one. We are happy that our remaining baby is doing well. We are 10 weeks now and got to see the little booger moving like crazy on the last ultrasound. I'm still experiencing nausea and extreme fatigue. Lately I've been really moody and my wife isn't sure how to deal with me...poor thing I feel bad. I can't wait to start feeling movements and seeing my tummy grow! Hope yall are doing well...keep the updates coming!
tgrdance05 sorry to hear this I can't imagine. Did you sense something was wrong? Did you find out at your first appointment? How many people had you told ... have they been understanding and supportive I hope? Is that the US of the babe now at 10 weeks? So big!! We will pray for health and wellness for you both!!
Our next ultrasound isn't going to be until 20 weeks. We go to the midwife appointment next week and will have our next check-in then. I think we are going to do the non-invasive bloodwork where they can test my blood for abnormalities and gender of the baby. I just want to know everything is ok. I haven't have any pains or reason to believe contrary, but we just can't wait to know anything and everything about the little kumquat!
My weight gain stopped for a few weeks and then I just gained 3 pounds yesterday!? I am going to be a house! I can't wait to get out of the 1st trimester and feel a little better about walking and working out at the gym. It is just so hot, I can't be outside for more than say 10 minutes before I just want to jump in a pool (too bad we don't have one).
We went shopping for nursery furniture and have a consultant from the store coming out this saturday to measure out the room and figure it out with us. So fun planning and getting ready. We think we are going to reveal to the public after the 12 week mark on social media and let the cat out of the bag.
tgrdance05. That's terrible and heartbreaking. I'm glad your other baby is still healthy and there's no reason to worry about your other baby. He/She looks so big! Awesome! Sorry you're not feeling so great. My symptoms are stronger lately too (8 weeks tomorrow) but we saw the heartbeat yesterday at our first ultrasound so I'm taking it all as good signs! Our next ultrasound is in a month, but I can be patient since we saw the heartbeat. I did find out I have two giant cycts but the dr. said not to worry. Apparently if they don't shrink they will operate after the first trimester but usually they shrink on their own. FX. @dpurjoy It's probably just constipation or bloat lol! Don't worry, I'm sure you won't gain too much as long as you eat as healthy as you can. So exciting to get the nursery closer to being done! Now that we saw the HB I feel like I can finally start planning ours.
Married DW 08.2013; AI 2x; IUI 6x; IUI #7 05.2015; DD born 2.2016 ; Reciprocal IVF FET #1 on 11.18.2020
welcome @mommiesandbabies ... Congrats! How far along are you? I believe we are all in the 1st trimester still. I had an ultrasound at 7w1d and got to see the heart beating and know all was well. It feels like it has been an eternity since we checked in on things and we have our first midwife appointment next Wednesday. I will be 11w2d and I can't wait! My wife looked at me last night and said, I forget sometimes that you are pregnant ... I told her I never do! it might be because I mowed the lawn yesterday (which I always did before getting pregnant) and I am not as moody as I was in the beginning.
My wife and I are planning on doing the same thing - I carry first and then her. We got enough donor vials to help us accomplish this
Congrats I'm in a same sex relationship also. I didn't think there would be more people lol. Glad to see that. So far I'm due January 21 but it may change once I do a proper sonogram Wednesday
Hi everyone! So glad I found this thread! My partner and I are pregnant with our first . I was 11 weeks yesterday so I'm due on the same day as dpurejoy . I'm 35 and we conceived using AI at home relatively easily (so grateful) thanks to our lovely friend who wanted to help us. Anyway, glad I found you all as I've been enjoying reading other threads on this site but beginning to feel like the only one in a same-sex relationship! Congrats to you all and wishing you an end to any unpleasant preggas symptoms soon! (Bring on the second trimester!). Anyway, spose I should get outta bed now?! (It's mid-morning here in Australia!)
mrockensockBishoKnottie67525693. I started this so we can share the joys and concerns of our pregnancies that some people just won't understand. Feel free to share your questions, burdens, and stories so we can enjoy this journey together!!
My wife and I are going to share the news next week and have already taken the pic to share online. We have told a decent amount of family and close friends - but now it's time to make it "official"
hey all ... I had my 11w2d midwife appointment and the baby's heartbeat was 167. All is well we decided to go ahead and announce on social media since our family already knows anyway.
Hey all! Glad to see we have some new mommies on here joining the group! @dpurejoy I love the announcement! Super cute! We are 11w2d today...so not too far behind ya! We are planning on taking pics in cancun next month when we go for vacation, and announcing with those. I'll be around 14 weeks by the time we get back...I figured that's a safe place to announce. Still feeling a little nervous everyday, hoping this little guy is doing alright! I will feel so much better when I can actually feel movements. The doctor says in a couple more weeks!! I wish I could post a video on here bc we got a great shot of the baby moving during our last sono! It's amazing that they move so much even though so small. I think someone had asked me if the pic I posted was from our first Sono...we've been really spoiled bc since we did ivf, we were getting sonos weekly. Last week was our last fertility appointment so that was the pic from that. We've graduated to a normal OB/midwife! Our first normal appointment is July 8th! I hope everyone has a great week!!
The Supreme court just ruled in favor of same-sex marriage nationwide ... I am crying. Now Tara can sign the birth certificate and we are a legitimized family unit in our state. I can't stop crying. I am so relieved and reaffirmed.
Now I finally feel like I can live in any of the 50 states. I'm a full class citizen! Woohoo! Thanks @KaraEpp16 for the support!
It's awesome that you can just pick any state you want to live in,fearlessly! This is a great day for the LGBT community and the U.S. My support will continue endlessly.
Congrats to all of you same-sex mamas on here! I was so excited to see the news this morning. Even better, the response on social media has been overwhelmingly wonderful. Gives me hope for our country!
Thanks all I do see a ton of good support which I am thankful for. I do see the opposition amongst the crowd and I just have to stop reading ... don't want it to steal my joy. I can't wait to share this with our baby!! What a different world all of our children are being born into.
I'm deliriously happy for ALL of us! Not only do our same sex moms get the recognition and rights that should have been theirs all along, but our babies will come into a world where they won't have to fight for such a basic human right. So happy for you. So happy for our babies.
So so so happy today!! What a wonderful time to bring children in the world knowing their parents are the same as everyone else's! Thanks for all the support from everyone...it feels so great to be a part of history! Anyone going to tie the knot this weekend??? We are going to the county clerk tomorrow to make it official (we had a wedding 2 years ago but it was "illegal").
How is everyone feeling? Any new symptoms? My nausea came back with a vengeance last night and this morning...I was so disappointed I cried. I had three days of minimal nausea and bought maybe it was the end of my first trimester problems...WRONG! I'm feeling achy and crampy a lot too...prolly bc baby is growing a lot. Can't wait for this nausea to end so I can be myself again...ugh I feel like a zombie!
I am feeling good ... still tired, sore (almost painful) breasts and my nausea (which i describe as having a sour stomach) is very minimal. I HAVE been having severe pains in my left leg from nerves being pinched and caught in my lower back/hips area and MAN is that painful. I went to the chiropractor last friday and did 1.5 hours of restorative yoga on Saturday to try to realign my body. I am trying to walk more often because my weight gain is pretty ridiculous!?
We try to use the at-home doppler with no success but the midwife found the heart beat no problem with her doppler ... we go for our genetic counseling/testing/13week ultrasound appointment next week - I am so looking forward to that! After we get the test results (which include the gender) we are going to take a deep breath and buy the nursery furniture, can't wait!!
Re: Any other same-sex moms on here?
Originally, my wife and I were going to use donor sperm from a sperm bank, and we had talked about it for a while. But two years ago, one of our really amazing family friends and his wife divorced because he didn't want to have children. He came to us one day and said, I love yall, and I know how badly you want children...and I would love to be your sperm donor. He has never wanted children of his own...so he felt that it was his way of "giving back". We thought about it for a year before we decided to go ahead. We decided he will be called "uncle Andy," instead of dad. We feel really blessed that our children can have a father figure, and know where they came from biologically. He is a really great person and know that he will be a good person to be in their lives. We went through counseling and legal counseling about this decision to make sure it was the right thing to do. He signed over all of his parental rights and responsibilities the day of sperm collection, so legally he has no way of taking our kiddos away from us
@claireloSC it's hard having to be let down so many times
I'm glad you're having such an easy pregnancy! I've been so sick
I was on cal last night and got to attend a beautiful water birth...perfect little 7lb 1oz baby girl. I cried bc my pregnancy hormones were in full swing yesterday, and wouldn't allow me not to (so embarrassing).
What do yall do for work? Have you told family/friends yet that your preggo? @dpurejoy you mentioned testing...what kind of testing. There's a couple of tests that can tell you what gender you're having in your first trimester...a lot of people do that testing (not for there risk assessment) but just to know if it's a boy or girl. I would highly recommend panorama or harmony testing if you have it available...they're the most accurate. We did pgd testing on our embryos before transfer, which I'm glad we did. It just gives you peace of mind knowing they are perfectly healthy in there
I am in a same sex relationship too. My wife had our twin girls almost four years ago, and I am carrying this time
DD 12/20/99, DS 12/14/12, M/C 9/2014, M/C 1/2015