GF mad at me, and now she's smoking cigarettes. — The Bump
2nd Trimester

GF mad at me, and now she's smoking cigarettes.

So it's one of those late night fights we have been putting off till we came home from vacation. Shit just hit the fan. Every time she's mad at me, she goes buy cigarettes. We used to be smokers in the past but I've been clean for 2.5 yrs. I'm really concerned now since she left to go buy cigarettes and smoke a few tonight. This is the BF of the pregnant woman. I always get onto her about smoking but this time, she's pregnant with my child. Please help.

Re: GF mad at me, and now she's smoking cigarettes.

  • Hi There,

    Smoking during pregnancy is really difficult, especially because smoking for some is a way to calm themselves.

    Speaking from experience;

    You cannot make her do anything she doesn't want to do, even if it's for the better of her and your child's health.
    Maybe see if you guys can talk to someone? A midwife a local doctor to get you the support you need so that she can do something else when she feels like she needs a smoke.

    Lastly, I think it's great you are caring for your baby! We went through a program at our hospital to stop smoking (for good) I have so far managed to give up.

    It's difficult but the only way to actually quit for someone who struggles is to go see someone.

    I'm not condoning it at all - so please don't take this the wrong way, but there are mothers who are on hardcore drugs like ICE, who deliver safely, it's all dependant on bubba and on Mum.

    Good luck xx
  • Hi,

    I will be honest and say that quitting smoking the day I found out I was pregnant was one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life. My husband still smokes and I continued to beg him for a "quick hit" weeks after I quit but it was always the same answer, "No". I totally understand how she feels and you can help her by doing your best not to trigger her anger/rage and also by putting your foot down and telling her that if she buys cigarettes, you will break them and flush them down the toilet. It really just boils down to self-control and having a support system. Good luck, it's not going to be easy but it will be worth it. Remind her of all the harm and defects smoking can cause the baby...that was enough for me to quit. 

      FTM due 11/06/2015
    Married 09/21/2013
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  • groovylocksgroovylocks member
    edited May 2015
    Of all the things they demonize during pregnancy, the danger from smoking IS VERY REAL. A glass of wine now and then? Not gonna hurt your kid. Even one cigarette won't hurt your kid.

    But they're cigarettes. You can't have just one and a habit DOES make a difference. It's one of the worst things you can do. 

    Be really, really careful and make sure you tell her to keep it out of the house since secondhand smoke is just as damaging for you both. Seriously, though she needs to keep it out of the house completely and would probably be smart to stay out of your line of sight too (like not going out on the balcony where you can see her)

    Seriously. Get tough with her. 
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