Grrrr...

oliarnmom1517 · May 2015

so this is kinda a rant because I'm just having a little bit a rough day...

Ok so I told one of my friends today because she's the only person I hadn't told.. She has had some fertility problems in the past but she has adopted 2 children since finding out it will be near impossible for her to have one on her own.. I felt bad that she didn't know yet so I told her today.. She asked when are me and my husband going to have a church wedding since we aren't really married acorrding to the church.. My husband and I went to the Justice of The Peace 2 years ago when we got married because I'm not a big celebration kinda person.. It really upset me after she said "you have to be married in a church in front of God so you can provide the best life for this child".. Needless to say I wanted to explode.. I have regretted telling her since.. Her husband is on a mission trip for the next two weeks and is saying she's a single mom for that time... My response was you're not a single mom..you're parenting your kids with the help of your mom while your husband is away for a couple of weeks.. My mom raised me and my brother for 6 years truly by herself and my best friend is raising her son (my godson) all by herself with nobodies help.. It just upsets me that she basically telling me that my husband and and I aren't really married because we didn't get married in a church.. And then telling me that I can't provide a good life for my child until we get married in a church..

Sorry I'm just having a rough day and needed to vent for a moment

VexyMommy · May 2015

Honestly, I read this and thought what a self righteous, jealous bitch.

Edit: Not about you. About your friend.

LSRoo · May 2015

She was definitely just making a backwards dig out of hurt or jealousy. Try to shake it off mama.

oliarnmom1517 · May 2015

@EllaStaxx I have been trying not to think about it but it just seems like everybody has been trying to get under my skin today and that just put the icing on the cake! That and a rough day at work.. Just gotta make it till tomorrow

@VexyMommy I KNOW RIGHT!! She has been like that since adopting her first and she has been telling everybody else that their children are blessings and then when I tell her I'm expecting it's like a whole different mind frame..

amwright33 · May 2015

Wow, to me marriage is marriage no matter how you did it. It's about the commitment. My parents were married in church and while my mom is a wonderful parent, my dad was complete crap with drugs and leaving my mom without paying any child support for 5 years.

You can use that example if she brings it up again. I'm sorry she wasn't more supported.

maura+c · May 2015

EllaStaxx said:
She was definitely just making a backwards dig out of hurt or jealousy. Try to shake it off mama.

This exactly.. Don't worry about it! It's the jealousy monster!

oliarnmom1517 · May 2015

@amwright33 my real dad is a drug addict and did almost the same thing.. And my dad still has yet to pay anything for my brother and never paid anything for me.. I know some people can be harsh but I never expected those words to come from her mouth EVER..

katiedhunter · May 2015

And you are friends why??? That is extremely uncalled for. Don't worry then I guess my DH and I aren't married either (6yrs) and our two children and the one on the way are not being raised correctly. People like that piss me off. Tell her to pull her head out of her ass it's not a hat.

oliarnmom1517 · May 2015

@katiedhunter she use to work with my mom and I never realized that she could be so nasty until today..I already told my mom if she decided to throw me a shower I will just tell her that I don't want a shower which isn't a lie..I hate being the center of attention..which shocks people because I was a theater kid and I have always gotten lead roles..the difference is I'm never on stage alone and it's not just about me it's about the rest of the performers too..which is why I was ok with it..but a baby shower..that's different..it will focus on the baby which will be inside of me which makes my stomach the center of attention..which makes me super uncomfortable.. Sorry for the novel I didn't want anybody getting confused on why I don't mind theater stuff..

Ceridwen77 · May 2015

oorl11052015 said:
she said "you have to be married in a church in front of God so you can provide the best life for this child"..

This comment is seriously going to make me insane. That would be an end to that friendship. What an extremely rude and judgemental person this woman is!!

oliarnmom1517 · May 2015

Thank you guys for making me feel better and letting me get that off my mind

I do greatly appreciate it

and @Ceridwen77 it kinda has I have decided to not talk to her anymore except when we have our women's group once a month..

thegingeravenger · May 2015

Wowza. It's terrible, but I really hope she asks you why you withdrew from her. What a terrible thing to say to someone period, let alone a friend!

poupoule · May 2015

Clearly she does not know you to say you that.

I would never impose to my friends to do like me. Forget about her !

mag9812 · May 2015

I am so sorry, that is really crappy of her. Like others have said, maybe it is because she is envious but either way it's not alright for her to make comments like that towards you. Keeping your distance seems like a great solution.

We had a similar "issue" with our parents when we decided not to get married in the church. Both my DH and I were raised Catholic but it's not a big part of our life as adults so we decided against having a church wedding. Our parents were extremely disappointed for awhile but eventually came around and acknowledge that we are married "for real." We are kind of dreading having the conversation about us not having our child baptised or raised in the church but hoping it will blow over the same way our wedding did.

Good luck!

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