Duggar scandal

mimers07 · May 2015

How are we not talking about this right now?! Do you guys think the show should be canceled? What do you think of the family's defense (or lack of comment). I have such a hard time trying to understand that family in general, and this scandal has now flipped what was already a very bizarre situation completely on it's head!

Snoopylovesbelle · May 2015

I have a secret obsession with them. I find them fascinating. Totally nuts on a lot of things but it's so interesting and I am attached.
Jim bob is a creepy and I think sexualizes everything.
Josh has always been a bit creepy to me too and the rumors that something happened have been around for a long time. I hope he's gotten the help he needed but I seriously doubt it.
I feel so badly for the girls. It was not in any way their fault. I hope they have been helped as well- if not by their parents but maybe TLC got them real counseling.
I wonder if this is coming to light now because Jill and Jessa are married and they were having trouble in that area with their new husbands.

MamaGooGoo · May 2015

I'm obsessed with this whole scandal! I cannot believe #1 that he told his now wife about his "mistakes" 2 years before they were even engaged, and she still married him! And #2 that Jim Bob and Michelle knew about it for over a year before they contacted authorities. That is so fucked up!! Those poor girls.. I haven't seen anywhere if they've shared exactly which sisters this affected, obviously the older ones, but all of them? I thought I heard it was 5 girls, not all of them his sisters. What's also sad is that now all of this shit is being brought up again in a much more public way and everyone knows what happened to them. It must be awful to relive it all over. Plus now their show is gone. Did you see the special that aired last week, like a few days before this all came out? At one point they had all of the oldest kids (the ones with kids now and Jessa) and Josh said something to his sisters about keeping things a secret, and he did the eyebrow raise thing!!! I recorded the show the night it aired and watched it a few days later on the day this was first on the news, and I noticed the creepy eyebrow raise from that asshole. Ugh so gross.

mimers07 · May 2015

I know! The whole thing really creeps me out. Plus my heart breaks for the girls who, from what I understand, are raised to believe that victims are not entirely blameless. How can you possibly let your child live with that on her conscience after she's a victim of abuse? It's devastating.

ChipMonster · May 2015

Oh man, it's absolutely disgusting!! What is just as disgusting are the people that make excuses for him. I made the mistake of reading the comments on online articles and the amount of people that are defending him is baffling!!! I don't care if he was 12 or 15 or whatever. I don't care if it happened 12 years ago. I don't care if he apologized. He was old enough to know that what he was doing was wrong. No matter how much you apologize, you can't erase what you did to those poor girls. And shame on the parents for not protecting their daughters like they should have!! And the LGBT community are all molesters right?? People like that truly make me sick!

EC2016 · May 2015

Finally people who agree with me! So many people are defending him and saying it was a childhood mistake. I'm sorry touching your sisters vaginas while they sleep is not a mistake. These kids have been raised to think sex is some kind of mysterious thing with no real education so I really blame the parents on this. I read the police report and Michelle admits josh did not get real counseling but went to build a house with a Christian friend who is not a therapist. I'm sorry but physical labor is not therapy. And they were aware of the problem and allowed him to continue for over 6 months before sending him away. I feel horrible for the girls especially since they have been taught not to entice boys with their dress and to be modest. I truly hope the parents never accused them of enticing their brother with skirts that are too short or something. The whole thing is sad and my view of the parents has totally changed.

SBH041815 · May 2015

Holy moly this shows just how disconnected I've been! I didn't even know about it...until now

danasphillips · May 2015

I'm so sick of this idea that people are above the law because of their religion. He should have been turned in immediately, not sent to a fake Christian counseling center. I hope this is the end of them.

Paige6410 · May 2015

The defense of this pervert pedophile is disgusting. Using religion as a scapegoat for abuse is appalling. The show should absolutely be pulled, especially if there was knowledge of this going on.
I've never seen the show, never wanted to. They seem like the kind of people I avoid at all costs. This just further validated that.

EC2016 · May 2015

The other part that bothers me is looking back on all of the times he chaperoned their dates. How inappropriate. He's the one who needs a chaperone to be around his sisters.

amt20 · May 2015

SBH041815 said:
Holy moly this shows just how disconnected I've been! I didn't even know about it...until now

Me either.....guess I'll have to Google it to find out the full story!

hplunkett2883 · May 2015

Well... I will probably get flamed. This is my view on the whole thing... first off I believe in God. I believe that God is forgiving. I believe that if someone commits a sin, no matter how great or how small, and comes to God with true regret and asks for forgiveness then they are forgiven. However there are laws and in the bible it says we must obey our government as well. I feel he can be forgiven but if in the eyes of the law he must still be held accountable then so be it. I feel if he was forgiven by God and his victims then is not our place to continue to hold this over his head, but again if the law sees fit to punish him then that's the laws business. And just to throw a little extra in there... I know this family has spoken out against the LGBT community.... this is my opinion.... God commands to love thy neighbors. I feel that Christians are forgetting that. We don't always agree with people's life styles but it isn't our place to condemn anyone for anything. And if you feel someone is living in sin you can gently try to show them but if they resist then it is more than likely to put a bigger wedge between you and them and them and God. So in that case back off and love them anyway. I just try and mind my own business and worry about my own sins and my own conviction, because Lord knows I sin and I know I'm far from perfect. Who am I to hold anything against anyone whether it be Josh Duggar or anyone else in this world?

jonesl12 · May 2015

Seemed like a nice family too

Kellycrazymomma · May 2015

I got sucked in when I was spending a lot of time taking care of my preemie, when the episodes about Josie were airing, though thankfully, my little man was just 6 wks early... Yes, it is nasty, and wrong, but at this point, I don't care what he did or didn't do. It was forever ago. It's too late to prosecute. WHY being it up now and out the sisters as victims. I have zero respect for anyone who dredged up something so old, and all but announcing who was victimized! I saw that happen to a childhood friend, and have seen the discomfort and stigma that comes with such public knowledge.

mimers07 · May 2015

hplunkett2883 said:
Well... I will probably get flamed. This is my view on the whole thing... first off I believe in God. I believe that God is forgiving. I believe that if someone commits a sin, no matter how great or how small, and comes to God with true regret and asks for forgiveness then they are forgiven. However there are laws and in the bible it says we must obey our government as well. I feel he can be forgiven but if in the eyes of the law he must still be held accountable then so be it. I feel if he was forgiven by God and his victims then is not our place to continue to hold this over his head, but again if the law sees fit to punish him then that's the laws business. And just to throw a little extra in there... I know this family has spoken out against the LGBT community.... this is my opinion.... God commands to love thy neighbors. I feel that Christians are forgetting that. We don't always agree with people's life styles but it isn't our place to condemn anyone for anything. And if you feel someone is living in sin you can gently try to show them but if they resist then it is more than likely to put a bigger wedge between you and them and them and God. So in that case back off and love them anyway. I just try and mind my own business and worry about my own sins and my own conviction, because Lord knows I sin and I know I'm far from perfect. Who am I to hold anything against anyone whether it be Josh Duggar or anyone else in this world?

Whom exactly are you implying are living in sin? Are you sure you're ready to open up this can of worms? My cousin is gay and he is one of the best, most talented, loving and amazing people I know. He didn't choose to be gay but he is choosing to be a wonderful human being, and if you think that's a sin, I feel very sorry for you.

Also, I'm just giving you the head's up that if you're going to make those sorts of accusations, this is probably going to get ugly quickly. There are some wonderful women in this community who are in same sex relationships.

hplunkett2883 · May 2015

monaclemere said:

Well... I will probably get flamed. This is my view on the whole thing... first off I believe in God. I believe that God is forgiving. I believe that if someone commits a sin, no matter how great or how small, and comes to God with true regret and asks for forgiveness then they are forgiven. However there are laws and in the bible it says we must obey our government as well. I feel he can be forgiven but if in the eyes of the law he must still be held accountable then so be it. I feel if he was forgiven by God and his victims then is not our place to continue to hold this over his head, but again if the law sees fit to punish him then that's the laws business. And just to throw a little extra in there... I know this family has spoken out against the LGBT community.... this is my opinion.... God commands to love thy neighbors. I feel that Christians are forgetting that. We don't always agree with people's life styles but it isn't our place to condemn anyone for anything. And if you feel someone is living in sin you can gently try to show them but if they resist then it is more than likely to put a bigger wedge between you and them and them and God. So in that case back off and love them anyway. I just try and mind my own business and worry about my own sins and my own conviction, because Lord knows I sin and I know I'm far from perfect. Who am I to hold anything against anyone whether it be Josh Duggar or anyone else in this world?
This is not about God. This is about a sick man who abused his own sisters as a teenager. His sick parents who knew what he was doing, made excuses and never got him the help he needed. As a result, he is probably still an abuser. Don't make excuses by throwing God out there. Also, this has nothing to do with the LGBT community. They are not sick and you are not doing them a favor by forgiving their "sins". They are normal people trying to live in the company of ignorant fools like you and the Duggars.

Yes you're right what he did was was sick I was not in anyway defending or excusing what he did. I see both sides of the issue here what he did was wrong and if the law sees fit to punish him for it then that is his own consequences, and at the same time there are people who believe that he turned away because of the life he lived in the public eye.. I am not the one to say whether or not he was or was not forgiven that is between him, his victims, and God. I do believe that in some instances people can turn away from something wrong and bad and live a better life never to return to bad but then again I do not know this man personally I only know of him what he has portrayed on TV. Therefore it is none of my business. And as far as my comment about the LGBT people I was not calling them sinners and I was not saying that I was doing them a favor by forgiving them... Forgiving them for what? I have nothing against anyone. I was simply saying that all these "christians" are forgetting that God says to love thy neighbor... meaning EVERYONE whether you agree with their life or not.

Paige6410 · May 2015

"Gently try to show them" are you kidding me??
You agree that it's ok to tell people in the LGBT community that they are wrong and God doesn't like it, they are going to hell, living in sin, ect. as long as it's "gently" put?
What do you exactly mean by that comment? Are you one of those religion pushers that think it's ok to try and preach to us poor, godless folks? I just can't. I have too many thoughts on this and it's making my blood pressure skyrocket.

DaphneMoon1 · May 2015

hplunkett2883 said:
Well... I will probably get flamed. This is my view on the whole thing... first off I believe in God. I believe that God is forgiving. I believe that if someone commits a sin, no matter how great or how small, and comes to God with true regret and asks for forgiveness then they are forgiven. However there are laws and in the bible it says we must obey our government as well. I feel he can be forgiven but if in the eyes of the law he must still be held accountable then so be it. I feel if he was forgiven by God and his victims then is not our place to continue to hold this over his head, but again if the law sees fit to punish him then that's the laws business. And just to throw a little extra in there... I know this family has spoken out against the LGBT community.... this is my opinion.... God commands to love thy neighbors. I feel that Christians are forgetting that. We don't always agree with people's life styles but it isn't our place to condemn anyone for anything. And if you feel someone is living in sin you can gently try to show them but if they resist then it is more than likely to put a bigger wedge between you and them and them and God. So in that case back off and love them anyway. I just try and mind my own business and worry about my own sins and my own conviction, because Lord knows I sin and I know I'm far from perfect. Who am I to hold anything against anyone whether it be Josh Duggar or anyone else in this world?

I'm not flaming you, but what about the girls?

I don't give a rats ass about him or if God has forgiven him or not. Sexual abuse has life long effects on the victims. It sickens me that the parents did NOTHING to get those girls help. They literally said they prayed as a family for forgiveness. That is not enough. The didn't protect or help their daughters. You can call that religious or cultural, I call it failing as a parent.

The message they sent to their daughter was that God forgives and so should you. He had no rehabilitation, no punishment, and continued to live in the same house. The girls were given a very clear message: you are not important.

I think anyone who knew anything about this family knew that something would eventually ruin their image. I figured it would be when one of the children rebelled by going to college or wearing a bikini. I'm appalled they were hiding molestation. It's horrible and I'm actually really sad for the whole family.

If the parents would have done the right thing, I think it would be salvageable. But I think they need to cancel the show and offer all of the children counseling. REAL treatment, not just prayer.

hplunkett2883 · May 2015

Look don't read my post as if I am calling anyone a sinner the only person I belive I called a sinner is myself. I have nothing against LGBT. Honestly. I was only stating that it's none of my business what everyone else does I'm not judging or condemning anyone for anything. I am friends with several gay people I do not judge them. My comment on that was really in opposition of the Duggars view. Meaning who are we to judge anyone? And what about loving each other regardless? Sorry if it had come across wrong.

Mommyduclos · May 2015

Can I add a different perspective? I actually nannied for a family that went through this. They were a blended family and the oldest boy molested the youngest step brother. I'm not sure if the authorities were formally involved- I think so but just helping the family figure out how to deal rather than like arresting the older boy. I know initially mom and the oldest stayed in a hotel for a while and everyone involved got therapy- once they were able to bring him home they had those alarms set up that beeped and announced when any door was opened in the house so there was ZERO sneaking around- 7 kids in the house, it'd be easy to miss something. I thought the family handled it the best they could, but maybe this type of thing isn't as uncommon has you think?

Secondly- don't get me wrong I am 100% for victims, that they are NEVER to blame and I hope hose girls received the help they needed- as well as Josh- and that the girls didn't feel blame or shame and were cared for appropriately but you must remember Josh is their child too! He needed to be dealt with, and strongly but I also don't think I would report my child to the police and file charges unless I thought there was no other option. Something like that would hang over his head for the rest of his life- sexual offender- and make it extremely difficult to get jobs, living locations, it could potentially affect custody of his own children. Don't get me wrong- sexual crimes are very serious and should be treated as such- but if I could whip my child into shape and save him the record and everything that goes with all that I absolutely would, so I don't blame them and I am not surprised that formal charges weren't pressed. All I can say is I hope the situation was dealt with and that it didn't continue after these initial instances. Just remember parents want to protect all their children and even though it was awful- Josh is still their child as well, not just a creepy stranger. So that played a very strong role in how they handled the situation.

willashbaby · May 2015

Family shit happens. I have a good friend who was molested by her brother when they were children. He was 12, she was 9. The family did not cover it up or sweep it under the rug. He got legitimate help, so did she. She made the decision to move past it on her own. These things do happen. It's how you deal with them when they happen and after they happen that define you. This family presented themselves as perfect. If they would have been honest about what happened from the beginning and shared how that brought them closer as a family or to God that would have been different. They hid it and presented themselves as a wonderful family all the while raking in millions. That's what leaves a bad taste for me.

MrsTeacher25 · May 2015

I have been following this as well. Honestly, this family interests me because they are so very different from others. I do think that when there is no sex education that children and adolescents will be inclined to be curious about their bodies. It is natural. HOWEVER, there is nothing natural about sexual assault of anyone. Jim Bob and Josh Duggar always gave me the creeps. The way they treat women is awful. Women have no rights and are only encouraged to care for their family (no higher education or jobs). I think women are seen as objects, and the fact that there is no real proof those poor girls got any counseling is disgusting. I am all for religion and believing in God. But the fact that they hid the truth and essentially covered a child sex abuse scandal is unforgivable. Maybe God forgave, but I don't think I would. I think those "Christians" should be ashamed of themselves.

hplunkett2883 · May 2015

Paige6410 said:

"Gently try to show them" are you kidding me?? You agree that it's ok to tell people in the LGBT community that they are wrong and God doesn't like it, they are going to hell, living in sin, ect. as long as it's "gently" put? What do you exactly mean by that comment? Are you one of those religion pushers that think it's ok to try and preach to us poor, godless folks? I just can't. I have too many thoughts on this and it's making my blood pressure skyrocket.

No that's not me at all. By gently I did not mean the way everyone else is shoving down people's throat that's what causes the wedges and hatred. I do not tell anyone they are going to hell or what God likes and doesn't like. I just meant that if people Like the Duggars or any other super religious people felt that other people were living in sin then to be gentle about it and if if doesn't work to back off and love them anyway. I don't go to church regularly, I have never read the entire Bible. I am not super religious, I just simply believe in God and in God's love and try and demonstrate it through my own actions everyday by being kind to others no mater what.

DaphneMoon1 · May 2015

Mommyduclos said:
Can I add a different perspective? I actually nannied for a family that went through this. They were a blended family and the oldest boy molested the youngest step brother. I'm not sure if the authorities were formally involved- I think so but just helping the family figure out how to deal rather than like arresting the older boy. I know initially mom and the oldest stayed in a hotel for a while and everyone involved got therapy- once they were able to bring him home they had those alarms set up that beeped and announced when any door was opened in the house so there was ZERO sneaking around- 7 kids in the house, it'd be easy to miss something. I thought the family handled it the best they could, but maybe this type of thing isn't as uncommon has you think?

Secondly- don't get me wrong I am 100% for victims, that they are NEVER to blame and I hope hose girls received the help they needed- as well as Josh- and that the girls didn't feel blame or shame and were cared for appropriately but you must remember Josh is their child too! He needed to be dealt with, and strongly but I also don't think I would report my child to the police and file charges unless I thought there was no other option. Something like that would hang over his head for the rest of his life- sexual offender- and make it extremely difficult to get jobs, living locations, it could potentially affect custody of his own children. Don't get me wrong- sexual crimes are very serious and should be treated as such- but if I could whip my child into shape and save him the record and everything that goes with all that I absolutely would, so I don't blame them and I am not surprised that formal charges weren't pressed. All I can say is I hope the situation was dealt with and that it didn't continue after these initial instances. Just remember parents want to protect all their children and even though it was awful- Josh is still their child as well, not just a creepy stranger. So that played a very strong role in how they handled the situation.

I have to disagree. I know he was only a child, but I still think it should be reported. Children who are sex offenders have a chance at being rehabilitated and not becoming repeat offenders. But they need help.

I realize you are labeled as a sex offender and that can make the rest of your life difficult, but there is a reason for that: to protect other children. Would you want your child going to daycare or school ran by a sex offender?

It's tragic, and I'm sure it would be horrible to have to turn in your own child, but you owe it to the other kids to do the right thing.

sdw84 · May 2015

DaphneMoon1 said:

hplunkett2883 said:
Well... I will probably get flamed. This is my view on the whole thing... first off I believe in God. I believe that God is forgiving. I believe that if someone commits a sin, no matter how great or how small, and comes to God with true regret and asks for forgiveness then they are forgiven. However there are laws and in the bible it says we must obey our government as well. I feel he can be forgiven but if in the eyes of the law he must still be held accountable then so be it. I feel if he was forgiven by God and his victims then is not our place to continue to hold this over his head, but again if the law sees fit to punish him then that's the laws business. And just to throw a little extra in there... I know this family has spoken out against the LGBT community.... this is my opinion.... God commands to love thy neighbors. I feel that Christians are forgetting that. We don't always agree with people's life styles but it isn't our place to condemn anyone for anything. And if you feel someone is living in sin you can gently try to show them but if they resist then it is more than likely to put a bigger wedge between you and them and them and God. So in that case back off and love them anyway. I just try and mind my own business and worry about my own sins and my own conviction, because Lord knows I sin and I know I'm far from perfect. Who am I to hold anything against anyone whether it be Josh Duggar or anyone else in this world?
I'm not flaming you, but what about the girls?

I don't give a rats ass about him or if God has forgiven him or not. Sexual abuse has life long effects on the victims. It sickens me that the parents did NOTHING to get those girls help. They literally said they prayed as a family for forgiveness. That is not enough. The didn't protect or help their daughters. You can call that religious or cultural, I call it failing as a parent.

The message they sent to their daughter was that God forgives and so should you. He had no rehabilitation, no punishment, and continued to live in the same house. The girls were given a very clear message: you are not important.

I think anyone who knew anything about this family knew that something would eventually ruin their image. I figured it would be when one of the children rebelled by going to college or wearing a bikini. I'm appalled they were hiding molestation. It's horrible and I'm actually really sad for the whole family.

If the parents would have done the right thing, I think it would be salvageable. But I think they need to cancel the show and offer all of the children counseling. REAL treatment, not just prayer.

I was sexualy abused when I was younger by a family member. I do not blame my parents. They have no idea that it happened. No one does. I have never told anyone.

Unless if you lived in that household you have no idea what actually went on and how they handled it. This is something they are ashamed of and of course they are not going to be public about it. Saying they failed as parents is not right. No parent is perfect. They did what they think they needed to do. Yes it may not of been what most of us would have done.

What he did is not right in any way. I feel bad for they girls. Because people can not mind their own business and care to much about celebrities, they are having to relive this terrible event.

willashbaby · May 2015

All of this happened before they were celebrities. If they had any interest at keeping their family secret and their daughters privacy they never would have put their family in the public eye. They made this choice it was not forced upon them.

DaphneMoon1 · May 2015

sdw84 said:

DaphneMoon1 said:

hplunkett2883 said:
Well... I will probably get flamed. This is my view on the whole thing... first off I believe in God. I believe that God is forgiving. I believe that if someone commits a sin, no matter how great or how small, and comes to God with true regret and asks for forgiveness then they are forgiven. However there are laws and in the bible it says we must obey our government as well. I feel he can be forgiven but if in the eyes of the law he must still be held accountable then so be it. I feel if he was forgiven by God and his victims then is not our place to continue to hold this over his head, but again if the law sees fit to punish him then that's the laws business. And just to throw a little extra in there... I know this family has spoken out against the LGBT community.... this is my opinion.... God commands to love thy neighbors. I feel that Christians are forgetting that. We don't always agree with people's life styles but it isn't our place to condemn anyone for anything. And if you feel someone is living in sin you can gently try to show them but if they resist then it is more than likely to put a bigger wedge between you and them and them and God. So in that case back off and love them anyway. I just try and mind my own business and worry about my own sins and my own conviction, because Lord knows I sin and I know I'm far from perfect. Who am I to hold anything against anyone whether it be Josh Duggar or anyone else in this world?
I'm not flaming you, but what about the girls?

I don't give a rats ass about him or if God has forgiven him or not. Sexual abuse has life long effects on the victims. It sickens me that the parents did NOTHING to get those girls help. They literally said they prayed as a family for forgiveness. That is not enough. The didn't protect or help their daughters. You can call that religious or cultural, I call it failing as a parent.

The message they sent to their daughter was that God forgives and so should you. He had no rehabilitation, no punishment, and continued to live in the same house. The girls were given a very clear message: you are not important.

I think anyone who knew anything about this family knew that something would eventually ruin their image. I figured it would be when one of the children rebelled by going to college or wearing a bikini. I'm appalled they were hiding molestation. It's horrible and I'm actually really sad for the whole family.

If the parents would have done the right thing, I think it would be salvageable. But I think they need to cancel the show and offer all of the children counseling. REAL treatment, not just prayer.

I was sexualy abused when I was younger by a family member. I do not blame my parents. They have no idea that it happened. No one does. I have never told anyone.

Unless if you lived in that household you have no idea what actually went on and how they handled it. This is something they are ashamed of and of course they are not going to be public about it. Saying they failed as parents is not right. No parent is perfect. They did what they think they needed to do. Yes it may not of been what most of us would have done.

What he did is not right in any way. I feel bad for they girls. Because people can not mind their own business and care to much about celebrities, they are having to relive this terrible event.

First, I'm sorry that happened to you. It's never the victims fault and I didn't mean to imply every situation is the same.

The difference is his parents did know. They were told. I think they failed their daughters. I know they did what they thought was best, that doesn't make it ok. I can only say how I *think* I would react. No one knows until you're in that situation.

They also invited the media and cameras into their house. This exposes all of their parenting decisions to judgement. I may disagree with a lot of what they do- they whole quiverfull movement seems crazy to me, but this is different. Their daughters were abused, they knew it and choose to do nothing. It's completely shameful.

kayla123456 · May 2015

^^^^This. Also, I truly believe that once a molester, always a molester. 14 is old enough to know right from wrong.

DaphneMoon1 · May 2015

I want to add, I don't think they failed because it happened. I'm not saying they could have prevented it. I'm saying they failed in the way the handled it.

Mule198513 · May 2015

I think the whole thing is just terrible I can honestly say I feel really bad for everyone especially the girls. I am just wondering...is it considered pedophilia if he was 14? does it depend on the girls age? regarless its still incest, its wrong so on and so forth, but just curious.

Lljbean · May 2015

I didn't really want to add to the conversation because it is painful for me however, I have to agree that once a molester. Always. I guess, maybe, I could have understood if he was caught 1 time, kissing 1 girl. But, five girls? That is too many times even if it was just 1 time, each time. like @DaphneMoon1 said, I don't think the Duggars failed as parents because it happened, they failed by all the events that fell into place after they knew. For being religious people they seem to have put their fame and greed before the well being of their daughters. I find it suspicious that they reported it the year before the filming of the show began. Wouldn't that have been the year TLC started to approach and vet them for the show? I feel like maybe they "reported it" to have it out there, without really having it out there. The police force failed the girls by not reopening the case after it was found out that the original officer that took the statements and never followed up, turned out to be into child pornography. I understand there is a statute of limitations but when the justice systems fails in such away, there should be an allowance to have it properly followed through.

I feel like saying things are "none of our business" is fine, but if the family chose to put themselves on t.v. they chose to make their lives everyone's business. Maybe them being exposed is God's will? Maybe they have to learn this hard lesson for all their judgement of other people that are actually decent human beings. Also, if you like S&M, or drinking more martinis than a normal person, or you like to dress up as a Furry when you get it on, that is none of my business. You want to molest children, cover it up, and then get on your high horse about gay people being a danger to our children. That's a smidge different.

The reason I tried to avoid this thread (and maybe I am biased because of my experience) is my mother married a man when I was 11. He tried several, several times to molest me. I went to my mother every time and I was told how horrible I was, how mean I was, how I was wrong. He never ended up actually molesting me but I spent all of my child hood wearing baggy clothes, I ate myself fat hoping it would stop his stares, I tried to say the lingering hand was an accident not because he wanted to touch my butt or boob. I found out 10 years later that he molested my bother and sister. I have never been so broken in my life and to top it all off, he stood in the court and stated that he waited until I left for college to started hurting my siblings because he knew I would never let him near them while I was in the house. He waited. He waited years and years to hurt his own children. That is absolutely terrifying to me. Needless to say, my mother and I don't have a relationship either. I can't bring myself to forgive her for knowing things and making me feel guilty for what happened. These are my own demons and maybe that makes me biased but I am heartbroken for those girls and I am terrified for his own children.

mimers07 · May 2015

Lljbean said:
I didn't really want to add to the conversation because it is painful for me however, I have to agree that once a molester. Always. I guess, maybe, I could have understood if he was caught 1 time, kissing 1 girl. But, five girls? That is too many times even if it was just 1 time, each time. like @DaphneMoon1 said, I don't think the Duggars failed as parents because it happened, they failed by all the events that fell into place after they knew. For being religious people they seem to have put their fame and greed before the well being of their daughters. I find it suspicious that they reported it the year before the filming of the show began. Wouldn't that have been the year TLC started to approach and vet them for the show? I feel like maybe they "reported it" to have it out there, without really having it out there. The police force failed the girls by not reopening the case after it was found out that the original officer that took the statements and never followed up, turned out to be into child pornography. I understand there is a statute of limitations but when the justice systems fails in such away, there should be an allowance to have it properly followed through.

I feel like saying things are "none of our business" is fine, but if the family chose to put themselves on t.v. they chose to make their lives everyone's business. Maybe them being exposed is God's will? Maybe they have to learn this hard lesson for all their judgement of other people that are actually decent human beings. Also, if you like S&M, or drinking more martinis than a normal person, or you like to dress up as a Furry when you get it on, that is none of my business. You want to molest children, cover it up, and then get on your high horse about gay people being a danger to our children. That's a smidge different.

The reason I tried to avoid this thread (and maybe I am biased because of my experience) is my mother married a man when I was 11. He tried several, several times to molest me. I went to my mother every time and I was told how horrible I was, how mean I was, how I was wrong. He never ended up actually molesting me but I spent all of my child hood wearing baggy clothes, I ate myself fat hoping it would stop his stares, I tried to say the lingering hand was an accident not because he wanted to touch my butt or boob. I found out 10 years later that he molested my bother and sister. I have never been so broken in my life and to top it all off, he stood in the court and stated that he waited until I left for college to started hurting my siblings because he knew I would never let him near them while I was in the house. He waited. He waited years and years to hurt his own children. That is absolutely terrifying to me. Needless to say, my mother and I don't have a relationship either. I can't bring myself to forgive her for knowing things and making me feel guilty for what happened. These are my own demons and maybe that makes me biased but I am heartbroken for those girls and I am terrified for his own children.

I am so so sorry that this happened to you. I can't even to begin to imagine what it must feel like to go through something like that, and I wish I could say something to ease your pain. Sending you lots of love and hugs.

mollyj931 · May 2015

I agree with what many of you have said so I won't restate my opinion.

I just wanted to say I'm so sorry to those who have personally dealt with this. Sending lots of love.

willashbaby · May 2015

@lljbean I love your post because it shows how strong you are and how sick some people can be. I completely understand your decision not to have a relationship with your mother. I hope your siblings are doing well. Hugs.

ChipMonster · May 2015

@Lljbean I am so so so sorry for what you went through. Your story gave me chills.

I believe in God, in a loving and forgiving God but I think that it's an absolute cop out to say that God forgave him, so should you. So hey, let's all forgive a rapist because he said sorry to God. Yup, we're all good now! C'mon, give me a break! There are real victims in this story and they most certainly not are Josh and his parents.

What irks me the most is that they have the nerve to call The LGBT community molesters when they are hiding it themselves!! How disgusting! These people are revolting to me.

Snoopylovesbelle · May 2015

@lljbean I'm so sorry that happened to you! You are so strong to share your story. I hope you are okay.

yankeeinthesouth · May 2015

Personally, I don't really know what to think when it comes to the question of whether or not to cancel the show. In the past, TLC's tolerance for any kind of scandal has been quite low. I would expect that that will continue.

Regarding the situation as a whole, I can only say that I have the utmost sympathy for the girls involved for all that they went through then and now as everything resurfaces in such a public and presumably painful way. Josh always somewhat rubbed me the wrong way.

ChelseyBels · May 2015

@Lljbean I'm so sorry lady.

EC2016 · May 2015

Repentance means to change your ways, not to say sorry. Josh has said sorry but has he really changed? Without real treatment I doubt it and would worry about Anna and their children.

BreeAnnPG · May 2015

"Family shit happens. I have a good friend who was molested by her brother when they were children. He was 12, she was 9. The family did not cover it up or sweep it under the rug. He got legitimate help, so did she. She made the decision to move past it on her own. These things do happen. It's how you deal with them when they happen and after they happen that define you. This family presented themselves as perfect. If they would have been honest about what happened from the beginning and shared how that brought them closer as a family or to God that would have been different. They hid it and presented themselves as a wonderful family all the while raking in millions. That's what leaves a bad taste for me."

Are you kidding me? Why would they announce something like that in their show? How on Earth would that be helpful

thebeefamily · May 2015

The Duggars homophobic stance makes me absolutely sick to my stomach because they're on a national platform. Now add on their perverted son's disgusting behavior and I'm done with this entire family. Keep ALL OF THEM off the air because the parents (Jim Bob and Michelle) will continue profiting if any Duggar child married or unmarried stays on TV.

I was sick of this family when Michelle saw a fertility doctor for baby #21 after having that stillbirth some years back. UGH!

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