My parents live 2000 miles away, and recently came to visit. During their stay, we decided to tell them our selected baby name. The name has great significance to us in a variety of ways. One significance is my great uncle. Upon hearing the name, we could tell they hated it, and they quickly changed the subject and we moved on. My husband and I just laughed and brushed it off--it's our kid and our name.
Once my parents returned home, my mom sent me a long text message, telling me that she hoped I wasn't solely naming the baby after my great uncle, because they were just stunned that I would do such a thing, and brought up a business tiff my dad and great uncle had 30 years ago. But... over the past 30 years my family has continued to have a very close relationship with this man!
I am shocked at the disconnect between the relationship I have seen and the reaction my parents had to the name. I am also incredibly angry that my mother felt she had a right to tell me our name was not a good idea because of some stupid business thing three decades ago that had absolutely nothing to do with me or my relationship with my great uncle.
I got VERY mad at my parents, and have not been speaking to them. Of course, now, my mom regrets telling me and is completely heartbroken that I won't speak to her.
Unfortunately I have a history of my mom interjecting inappropriate and unnecessary opinions into things. I only have a few weeks left in my pregnancy and don't want anything else to be ruined or to risk my health and happiness by getting upset.
I just feel like the wind has been let out of my sails. We don't want to change the name, but I have absolutely no excitement at all for sharing it with our family and friends.
Any advice on dealing with this? Or how to move on an regain some of the happiness that has been stolen from my pregnancy?
Re: Devastated by parents reaction to baby name
Sure, it sucks that your parents aren't supportive of your name. However, I really hope this doesn't break relationship between you and your parents. Obviously, I don't know the history but in a couple years you will look back at this and see just how minor it is. Just my opinion.
When I was pregnant with our first child, a girl, I told my dad her name. Addison Shane. Her middle name is after my brother that passed away so I thought he'd like the tribute. He hated the fact that I was naming a girl a boys name and was sour about it for months saying I should save my brothers name in case we had a boy later. Two years later I was pregnant with a boy and again I was excited to share his name. Liam Michael. Michael is my dad's name so I thought he'd love it. His reaction ... "I like the middle name but Liam, is that even a name?" So I can relate to a parent totally stealing your joy about something you love and are excited to share.
My disappointment passed in time and both kids were given the names we chose and fit them perfectly. I would say to let them adjust and hopefully they'll come around to it. If the name means something to you and you love it, focus on that and have happy feelings about Baby waking around with a name that you love to say and hear. Give it a little time before you tell other people so you can heal over and get back to happy about it!
Parents are people too and think they have he right to say whatever they want and don't realize how much their lack of fact hurts our feelings. They make mistakes. Try to forgive, for your own sanity and happiness, because not much is worth losing one minute of enjoyment of your pregnancy because of someone else's opinion.
Good luck!
I love her, but she is super upsetting.
She asked me the other day if we were still looking for baby names because she doesn't like Ayla Claire. I just said 'nope!' and ignored the face she made. I had been told that she was praying that we would change it because she really doesn't like it.
You're going to get mixed reactions from people - some will love it, some are indifferent, and some will try and change your mind. Some people also have more tact than others. I know once my mother has to start using the name and gets used to it she'll get over it and I'm sure yours will too.
Hopefully, it will be the same with your parents and they will fall in love with your little one, regardless of the name. Your babe is a whole new person! Plus, your kid your choice!
I have a mom with strong opinions too, and you gotta just stick to your guns when you believe something strongly! All the best to you!