Just my husband!! With our first, we drove to the hospital at 2:30 am and I didn't get an epidural until 6:30 am due to their being unable to get ahold of the anesthesiologist and some last minute blood work. Anyway, I felt weird calling ppl in the dead of night, so we didn't call until about 7. My mom n dad live 2.5 hours away so they didn't get there til 9:30. MIL and FIL figured it would be a long labor so they didn't come til a lil after 9. I started pushing at 9:15 n she was born at 9:41. Even if I HAD wanted anyone else, they wouldn't have made it! This time, we will call so they can be at the hospital but I still don't want anyone in delivery with us. It truly was a special bonding experience as we became a family. This time we will be completing our family, and I want to share that with hubs only
I plan to have my mom, MIL who's a nurse and my SIL in the room. The moms will be so caught up in the moment I want my SIL for taking photos. My Aunt is a labor and delivery nurse so if she's off work and available I want her there too. with my son my ex-husband wouldn't allow anyone else in the room and it was a very drama filled experience. With this being the last grandchild on both sides I want the Grandmas to be able to experience it with us. I'm not shy, and I know they won't be "down there" so I'm fine with it. Excited to have the added support cause hubby will probably be on the brink of fainting.
From the beginning I have just wanted my SO there with me. Now it's looking like he probably isn't going to be able to be there so I'm struggling with accepting the idea of having my mom there with me instead. I love my mom and we are very close, but I have had it in my head that this was an experience for just me and my SO together. It's looking like it may be me and my mom though. We will see...
I guess I'm a weirdo. I don't want my hubby to see our son exit my V J J. I told him if he's in The room he stays up by my head. I do want my sister and mom there and don't care if they see stuff but also prefer them to stay north of the carnage.
With DS it was DH and I with the medical staff. I wouldn't have minded someone else being there but DH feels it is best kept between us. If I could have anyone with me this time I don't know who I would pick. My mom would be nice but she just takes over so I could never have her as DH is not one to take back control in a situation already hard for him. I don't have any friends close enough to me that I would ask to be there. My in laws are not the kind of people I want to be there either.
We did allow visitors afterward and I did really enjoy that but to DH it was overwhelming. We didn't have any visitors come stay with us until DS was 3 weeks.
I am planning delivery to be the same but afterwards I am not sure. This time we are expecting twins so I may just need extra help right away. I know my mom will jump on a flight the second I say she can stay so we aren't planning anything yet. She wants to come for 2 weeks or more.
This is my 3rd baby with my other two I had my mum & of course my partner. This time round it will be my partner & probably my SIL. It's up to you who you feel comfortable with having in the labour room..
I guess I'm a weirdo. I don't want my hubby to see our son exit my V J J. I told him if he's in The room he stays up by my head. I do want my sister and mom there and don't care if they see stuff but also prefer them to stay north of the carnage.
I'm with you on that! Hubby will definitely be in the room, I don't want him to leave, but he already knows to stay above the waist. He even mentioned it first and I was like I don't care who else sees the damage but I need you to remember how it looked before! Lol
^^DH definitely stays up pretty close to my head. He doesn't want to be down there for that!! DH actually asked if my mom could come in the room with both my girls. He knew I kinda needed her there, she's quiet during the birth and a huge advocate for me. I had one of my sisters at each of the girls births taking pictures. She's in a funny place right now personally so I wanted to ask my other sister. I kinda would like only DH and I, but then I liked having them there. And I don't recall who said this above me....but I second rather dying then having in laws in the room!!
Thanks for all the input ladies! My sister in law is disabled and will never be able to have children and she mentioned (in a really non pushy way) that she thinks being in the room while a baby is born would be an experience that would be awesome. I feel open to having any close supportive female family members in the room but I just wanted to double check bc most of my friends that are pregnant feel strongly about only having their partner. Since it's my first I wasn't sure if my feelings about it were realistic or not. Glad to see there is a huge mix of opinions! Guess it really is just case by case.
I guess I'm a weirdo. I don't want my hubby to see our son exit my V J J. I told him if he's in The room he stays up by my head. I do want my sister and mom there and don't care if they see stuff but also prefer them to stay north of the carnage.
I'm with you on that! Hubby will definitely be in the room, I don't want him to leave, but he already knows to stay above the waist. He even mentioned it first and I was like I don't care who else sees the damage but I need you to remember how it looked before! Lol
My husband expressed some remorse at not actually seeing our son born. He stayed up top and didn't peek. I'm thinking of letting him have a look and maybe even catch the baby this time if I'm feeling bold. He's a quiet guy and doesn't say that much so this seems important to him.
I know that sounds super weird but whatevs! Our sex life was not affected by birth at all so I feel confident allowing him to be more involved.
My husband this time. My mom will be keeping big brother. We plan to call my MIL after he gets here. . ..maybe. .. I'm debating. I guess we will see. Yeah my husband decided he's not going to say anything this time. At my first sons birth he got to cut the cord . The Dr asked if he wanted some scrubs cause he might get blood on his pants. His reply? "That won't be the first time these pants have had blood on them" ( explanation he hunts so that's what he meant). My mom just looked at him and goes really? So yeah I think he's going to be quiet this time hahaha this is why I love him
I had my husband, my mom and my MIL. When DD was born, the nurses had to take her to the side to work on her (she swallowed fluid, her heart rate was slow, etc) so DH was with her. I was delivering the placenta/getting stitched, so my mom came and stood with me. And my MIL got so AMAZING photos of everything. So I was so glad they were all there.
My MIL won't be here this time since she'll be babysitting DD.
I just asked DH because I was curious if he regretted watching DD be born. He said it's not like you are looking at the vagina. He was looking at his baby and can't even recall seeing anything but the baby.
My husband is super squeamish and I was pretty sure he wouldn't make it beforehand since he hates blood. But he was fine and even cut the cord. Your husbands will surprise you.
So my husband and I are agreement it will be just us, unless I freak out and his mom or my aunt can come in.
He wants to take video. I wouldn't mind some pictures, waist up and of course as soon as she comes out. I'm just not sure on the video. And besides, I need him to hold my hand.
My husband and my mom. I told my husband to stay up by my head when I was in labor with my daughter but once it was time to push he was down there and saw it all. I don't think he looks at me any differently from seeing all of that and I'm sure he'll be down there again this time around. My mom was AMAZING while I was in labor. My husband was clueless and really getting on my nerves until my mom told him exactly what to do. I cannot imagine having to go through labor without her.
I've decided to have my mother, my husband and my Doula (who happens to be one of my best friends) but I'm unsure of if I want my father there. I know he really wants to be there and I can tell he's a little disappointed (but very graceful) about being denied entrance (if you will) I keep flip-flopping on the subject. Any thoughts?
@ErinMRust that's a tough one. I'm letting my dad be at the hospital but not in the room during delivery. Actually I might have him dog sit... We are close I just don't want him seeing stuff. He can come in ASAP baby's out and I'm cleaned up. Not sure if that helps at all... Just what I'm doing
I will have my mom and possibly my husband. My husband doesn't do hospitals very well or seeing people in pain. He is also not the most comforting person (nothing against my husband it's just not his thing) so we have decided he will do what he can but when I want to kick him out he's ok with it! My sister may have to step in for him!
I will have my mom and possibly my husband. My husband doesn't do hospitals very well or seeing people in pain. He is also not the most comforting person (nothing against my husband it's just not his thing) so we have decided he will do what he can but when I want to kick him out he's ok with it! My sister may have to step in for him!
Haha, you're awesome. It's great you and your hubby can both recognize this stuff and plan accordingly. I honestly want my husband there to cut the cord and hold baby first, but don't expect him to sit with me through all the hours of labor. We'll just see how it goes. Kudos to you accepting hubby's limitations and being understanding!
@mrscaterosales We have had many talks about it! He can't even be in a waiting room without turning as white as a ghost so I'm not expecting him to do well in a labor situation. I also know our hospital only allows 2 people in room while in labor and once he leaves he can not come back in so we are debating how to handle that situation. He may just leave when the pushing starts and it will probably just be my mom and me which I'm ok with.
Our plan is to just have my SO for labor and delivery. He's going to call the parents when I go into labor and then again when the baby is born. We set the expectation early so there is no surprise when it comes time. We are just very private people who want to share that special moment with only each other.
I've decided to have my mother, my husband and my Doula (who happens to be one of my best friends) but I'm unsure of if I want my father there. I know he really wants to be there and I can tell he's a little disappointed (but very graceful) about being denied entrance (if you will) I keep flip-flopping on the subject. Any thoughts?
My dad and I are really close. He raised me all by himself so I wouldn't be ashamed if he was in there. My mother and MIL are both overbearing and a bit ridiculous so I'm just fine with fiance and dad being in there. But we shall see what happens when labor and delivery come.
Re: Who are you thinking of having at the birth?
I do want my sister and mom there and don't care if they see stuff but also prefer them to stay north of the carnage.
We did allow visitors afterward and I did really enjoy that but to DH it was overwhelming. We didn't have any visitors come stay with us until DS was 3 weeks.
I am planning delivery to be the same but afterwards I am not sure. This time we are expecting twins so I may just need extra help right away. I know my mom will jump on a flight the second I say she can stay so we aren't planning anything yet. She wants to come for 2 weeks or more.
DH actually asked if my mom could come in the room with both my girls. He knew I kinda needed her there, she's quiet during the birth and a huge advocate for me. I had one of my sisters at each of the girls births taking pictures. She's in a funny place right now personally so I wanted to ask my other sister. I kinda would like only DH and I, but then I liked having them there.
And I don't recall who said this above me....but I second rather dying then having in laws in the room!!
I know that sounds super weird but whatevs! Our sex life was not affected by birth at all so I feel confident allowing him to be more involved.
My MIL won't be here this time since she'll be babysitting DD.
My husband is super squeamish and I was pretty sure he wouldn't make it beforehand since he hates blood. But he was fine and even cut the cord. Your husbands will surprise you.
He wants to take video. I wouldn't mind some pictures, waist up and of course as soon as she comes out. I'm just not sure on the video. And besides, I need him to hold my hand.
Not sure if that helps at all... Just what I'm doing