Anyone using a midwife?

SarahEmmons330 · May 2015

i am (like many of you) 21 weeks into my pregnancy. I am a FTM and have been going to an ob/gyn group that a friend recommend to me. I am very torn and I think I want to switch to a midwifery group that is associated with the same hospital/system… I am tired of having a clinical pregnancy and want something and someone who is more interested in me and my son as a whole and not as just another body walking through the door.

Do any of you ladies have any experience switching to a midwife halfway through or have a preference one way or another?

ercoughlin91 · May 2015

No experience, FTM, but I am in the same boat as you. Unfortunately where I live midwives only really do home births which I don't think I'm ready for (don't really have a home to birth in??). But definitely trust your gut and go ahead and switch! I'm looking in to switching hospitals just from some advice I've heard from other moms. People have told me that if you don't feel 100% comfortable with your doctor/whoever make the switch! It will be fast less stressful for you when the time comes.

Yiggle09 · May 2015

My Ob/gyn office employs a midwife and that is the woman I have always used for my annuals and during this pregnancy. The only thing is she takes call just like everyone else in the office and I very well may not get her for the delivery but I'm ok with that. Its a small group only 6 or 7 drs/ midwife so I have met most of them anyway. I feel well paid attention to when I am in the room with her as opposed to the dr who helped us with our infertility was so businesslike. GL with your decision. Make sure you feel comfortable!

capricelili · May 2015

I'm also debating whether to switch from my OB to the midwife clinic at my hospital. I've got an appointment with my OB for my 20 week and I will be asking some specific questions about the way I want to see my birth plan, to see if I can feel comfortable staying with this OB group. I feel like I need to give her the benefit of the doubt before switching, but at the same time I really don't want a male OB attending my birth, I know it's silly, but there is one male OB in the practice and they rotate on call, so it wouldn't be my choice, where as the midwife clinic is all women midwives and they rotate spring appointments so I get to meet all of them. It's a hard choice but we have to do what's best for us and our babies!

ForeverEverAfter · May 2015

I got on the midwives' wait list at 5 weeks preg and didn't get it. If I had the chance to switch at any point I would jump at it. Especially if you're low risk, there's no need for most interventions that OBs routinely use.

KH7337 · May 2015

I switched to a midwife at 16 weeks with my son. I had to reintroduce myself to my doctor every time that she came in and she couldn't remember my name or anything about what happened with my last visit. I understand this is completely normal because they have so many patients but I was looking for a more personal experience; as I am guessing you are looking for the same thing. I just called my insurance, requested to be transferred to a hospital that I had researched and where they had a midwife group and the next thing I knew it was all done. It was such a great experience and relationship that my husband and I found that that we are planning on traveling 120 miles to have our second son up there this September. It's tough for a few months but towards the end when you are seeing them all the time it's really nice to sit and talk to him/her as long as you need to. I hope you can find someone that fits your needs and what you want out of your delivery!

asdf2015 · May 2015

I am. It's a big practice in a large hospital but my regular visits are w a midwife and I speak to midwives w any routine questions. I switched from my pre-preg doctor after my 8-week visit but if there are any issues (at all) w pregnancy or delivery I'll be seen by a doctor. In this practice there's not a huge difference btw the doctors and midwives for routine care and in delivery you see either a midwife or a resident until/unless there's an issue. Ftm, so I have nothing to compare but so far it seems like a good balance.

KERJF · May 2015

I am! Our practice actually has two midwives on staff, so we have the choice between a midwife and OB .. i LOVED our OBs, they paid attention to every question I had, but I felt like I wanted something just a touch different since my favorite OB retired.
Love the two midwives I see - one or the other will be at the birth the entire time and I am totally cool with that. Otherwise our OBs I would have had a 1 in 6 chance of getting the 1 OB that I really liked -but honestly they are there so short that it wasnt the big deal breaker.

I really love my midwives though. Just something is different, and they always make sure my 2 girls are helping out at appts with things which is really fun for them!

sterjacks21 · May 2015

I'm in practically the same boat as you. I was seeing an OB but now that I've moved I will be switching to a midwife group and having my baby at a birthing center. I haven't had my midwife appointment with the new group yet, but at my old OB I had a really bad yeast infection (TMI), and my OB was out of town so I got to see one of the midwives that were in the group. She spent an hour with me going over ways to prevent further infections and even answered a ton of questions that my boyfriend had (since this was the only doctors visit he was able to attend with me) I know that if I would have seen my regular OB, she would have just handed me a prescription and let me leave. That one midwife visit really made me question if having an OB is right for me.

mybabynumber2 · May 2015

In the UK we only have midwives, luckily this time I get the same one :-) She's lovely and comes to my our house. Does the usual checks like she would normally, she's been this morning actually. I can pick when I want my appointments and have her mobile number which she's told me I can ring anytime if I have any problems. She's also hoping to deliver our baby :-) love it.

lhoward77 · May 2015

My practice has several ob's and midwives on staff. I have met most of them thru the 3 pregnancies. I have to say that I prefer the midwives over the ob's. I feel like the midwives I have seen are much more invested and interested in the patients. Whenever I have to see an ob I feel rushed and lime they are in a hurry to be out of the room as fast as they can.

Growingapepper · May 2015

I'm thinking about the switch too! I'm starting to get very frustrated with my OB. I picked her because she is a female, and I am 100% against having a male OBGYN. I am just not comfortable with it at all. Well I just found out last week that she is part of a rotating practice, she is one out of four other Dr's on call who are all male. I can't believe they didn't tell me this from the beginning. She never sees me at any of my appointments and she's probably not even going to deliver my baby? Uhm no thanks. I mean what does she do all day? Read charts and catch babies? She obviously doesn't care about her patients. I'm going to call today and see if I can maybe get her to agree to be on call for me since I have an issue with male doctors. I also have a lot of questions to ask her about my birth plan since I have only seen her for about 5 minutes so far. If she's not on the same page as me I'm definitely going to try and get a midwife and possibly homebirth. I hate the idea of a hospital birth but I figured I'd try since it's the least complicated route as far as insurance issues. But it's turning out to be way too stressful for me.

nursekatie47 · May 2015

I have only used midwifes and I have loved working with them. I would at least call and see if they have room to accept you and if they do go and talk to them to see if it's a good fit.

kehags · May 2015

I had a CPM last time & she was fabulous. This time, I'm going with a practice made up on CNMs. I don't like it as much, I meet someone new every time and they are definitely not as laid back (for lack of a better term) than my last one. With that said, I still prefer the CNMs over an OB.

WDDCH · May 2015

I've had midwives my last three pregnancies and this current one. I am a huge supporter of switching if you feel you need something more than what you're receiving. Birth is really important and a big part of that is who has authority that day.

I've had one midwife-attended hospital birth, one midwife-attended freestanding birth-center birth, one homebirth and planning a second homebirth.

My appointments are at my midwife's house (she'll come to my house later in pregnancy) and it's an hour long appointment. We get weight, urine, BP and baby checked out within maybe 10 minutes. The rest of the time we just talk. She wants to know what's going on in our lives and she tells me a lot about herself. She has student midwives and one of them has come over from England and I adore her. It isn't about getting me out of there as fast as possible.

They remain a professional air while still being more personable than any of the OBs I've had. I've done the hospital birth scene and the only way I'd have a hospital birth again is if something is wrong.

Mousemama · May 2015

The practice I go to has half a dozen doctors and just as many midwives. I primarily see the midwives and they're lovely, down to earth women who really take a long time with each visit. Most of the docs are also very nice, but I feel like I get more time and personal attention with the midwives. If you have the option to switch to a midwifery group that's associated with the hospital, that really sounds like the best of both worlds. You'd get more centered, personal care; but in the case that there was some sort of complication, there would still be a doctor as a backup.

mriandabusto · May 2015

I'm using a midwife, I see her for all of my visits and she's amazing. I love how good she takes care of me.

lopezroke · May 2015

Same here. I have been dealing with a different OB at each appt. I didnt meet my "real" dr until my third visit and it was awful. Same thing with the rushing out of the room and barely gives time to answer questions. This is my second and my first was a C sect so its not as easy to get a midwife. Im hoping to do vbac but dont know. I am calling tomorrow to see what i can do to switch or switch offices all together this has been an awful experiance so far with each OB ive seen and i had my 20 week appt this morning and it was terrible. Im making the switch asap. Were already half way through the pregnancy so i want to make sure the remaining half is better. Good luck ladies

WDDCH · May 2015

@lopezroke I hope you're able to get a chance at your VBAC. If you can't get in with that midwife try your local I-CAN chapter to see if they at least know of some other options available in your area. Let us know how it goes!

SarahEmmons330 · May 2015

Thank you ladies! After stressing and crying (multiple times - damn these hormones!!!) I have scheduled an appointment!!! I feel like a weight has been lifted!!! Now I'm stressing over leaving my current office, I feel like I'm dumping them hahah

jaywalk16 · May 2015

I use a midwife and shes awesome ... Its all your prefrence

Boobopgirl · May 2015

I used a large OB practice for my first birth. Using midwives for this one. This is my experience.

OB: takes blood pressure, listens to baby on doppler, furrows brow, puts doppler down and says "well I guess you're getting an ultrasound today." Throws me in room with ultrasound, looks at baby, furrows brow, puts me on NST, leaves for 20 minutes, comes back and says "Well, the baby looks great, but your blood pressure is up, so we're going to have you come in twice a week from now on and also you could die or your baby could die at any point so we really need you to call if you have any of these symptoms (lists laundry list of things) also, I need to take your blood pressure again to see if it's come down." (literally that is exactly what she said) Takes blood pressure again, furrows brow, prescribes blood pressure medication, leaves the room before I can ask any questions.

Midwife: "Ok so we see you had some issues with your blood pressure in your first pregnancy, let's work on a plan to prevent that from being an issue this time." (Long talk about exercise and nutrition and how to keep my anxiety under control without medication so that doesn't affect my blood pressure with plenty of time for me to ask my 9,000,000 questions.)

Also, I felt that OBs were always trying to prescribe me something (zofran, anxiety meds, blood pressure meds, further testing etc.) while the midwives are all about DOING something (changing diet, activity level, drink more water etc.) and that makes more sense to me.

s2moenke · May 2015

I had a obgyn for my first pregnancy and it was your typical hospital birth. The doctor was great and I loved the practice but I didn't feel like anyone was advocating for me. The hospital nurses pushed me to take the drugs early on but doctor let me make the decision which was nice but really wasn't as helpful as a midwife would've been. This time I'm doing a midwife and I couldn't be happier. I think it would be hard switching midterm but if you know what you want, go for it! Good luck!

lissyFNmay · May 2015

Ina May Gaskin, renowned midwife, makes the point in her book that you should be comfortable with your surroundings, including caregiver when birthing. I have friends who were besties with their OB and totally had great hospital births. Me? I hate hospitals. I also want to have talked to the person with me at birth. Logic being that I wouldn't have a priest marry me just because that person is a priest so why have some random person birthing with me just because she's the doctor on rotation?

Good luck on your journey!

lopezroke · May 2015

So i called today and ha e an appt for a midwife tomorrow morning and they do vbac. Im super excited. Hoping this will be the turnaround id been waiting for at the obgyn's office

amyandpeanut · May 2015

I'm in Ontario, Canada, and in my area, right at the beginning of pregnancy you choose OB-GYN or midwife, they never seem to work together in the same office. That would be so great though!

I'm a FTM but have had the same experiences as some of the pps with not being informed, treated well or feeling rushed at my OB-GYN (my first pap was a HORRIBLE experience, etc). My friends have loved their midwives and I knew that's the route I wanted to go. At first I was on a waiting list but thankfully got a spot fairly quickly. The midwives at my clinic work in pairs, you meet both of them throughout your pregnancy. They switch off being on call, and one of the two will be at my birth. I'm really happy so far, they always schedule an hour per appointment and I never feel rushed. They really take time with you, get to know you, and answer questions thoroughly. Mine even asked if there are any cultural differences I was concerned about in raising a child (my DH was born in the Philippines). I've only met one of them so far but I meet the other this month.

My options are either home or hospital birth, as birthing centres/suites are rare and there are none in my area. I feel more comfortable at the hospital in case anything goes wrong, but it's nice to know that my midwife won't push for any medical interventions that aren't necessary.

I agree with pps... Do whatever you can to make yourself comfortable with the birth process. If you feel you want to switch, and there's a way, do it. Birth is such a special and personal thing that you deserve to be as at ease as possible.

Good luck to all of you still searching! It will work out no matter how things go.

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