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Gender anxiety

booksunshinebooksunshine member
in October 2015 Moms
Yes, I Am Very Lucky To Be Pregnant And Have A Healthy Baby So Far. But I Want A Girl. I Would Be A Big Fat Liar If I Said IWouldn't Be Disappointed And Upset If I'm Having A Boy. I Keep Telling Myself It'll Be Okay If I Have A Boy. But The Date Is Coming Up Quick (June 2) And I Just Want To Know Already So I Can Get Everything Out If It's Not What I Want Or Expect (My Husband Wants A Girl Too). I Know It's Selfish But I Can't Be The Only One!!
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Re: Gender anxiety

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    jennifercurry1jennifercurry1 member
    edited May 2015
    My husband and I really want a boy, I am going to be excited either way but I know he will be disappointed a little if it's a girl which will make me sad...we find out May 14th
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    booksunshinebooksunshine member
    NDimanov said:

    Knottie70898881 said:

    Yes, I Am Very Lucky To Be Pregnant And Have A Healthy Baby So Far. But I Want A Girl. I Would Be A Big Fat Liar If I Said IWouldn't Be Disappointed And Upset If I'm Having A Boy. I Keep Telling Myself It'll Be Okay If I Have A Boy. But The Date Is Coming Up Quick (June 2) And I Just Want To Know Already So I Can Get Everything Out If It's Not What I Want Or Expect (My Husband Wants A Girl Too). I Know It's Selfish But I Can't Be The Only One!!

    What do you mean get everything out if it's not what you want?
    As In The Disappointment And Crying And Move On And Accept The Fact That I Will Have A Little Boy That I Will LoveMore Than I Could Ever Imagine.
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    audreyb12audreyb12 member
    I think I'll be disappointed if I have a girl. My sister in law is just a few days ahead of me in her pregnancy and she found out she's having a boy. If I'm having a girl I'll probably be really jealous that she's getting a boy. I find out Monday and I'm kinda nervous about it. I want to know but then again I don't :/. I'm just glad I have 4 days after I find out until the gender reveal party just in case I need to pull myself together emotionally.
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    mrs.plummer2bemrs.plummer2be member
    moonseeds92 said:

    I feel the same way except I'll be disappointed if I'm not having a boy. I feel guilty about it but little girls are difficult! And I hate pink. I know if I find out it's a girl I'll have a hard time accepting a shit ton of pink foo foo glitter crap from family. Eww.

    This.

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    amberrmariee20amberrmariee20 member
    edited May 2015
    @Rikdoll if we find out we are having a girl I'll probably pass out from instant excitement !! If we find out it's another boy I know I'll love him just the same as my first son, but I would love to but little dresses :p !!
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    MrsHark122MrsHark122 member
    I was also coming to ask why you type like that?
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    MirandaC1984MirandaC1984 member
    Knottie70898881 said:

    Yes, I Am Very Lucky To Be Pregnant And Have A Healthy Baby So Far. But I Want A Girl. I Would Be A Big Fat Liar If I Said IWouldn't Be Disappointed And Upset If I'm Having A Boy. I Keep Telling Myself It'll Be Okay If I Have A Boy. But The Date Is Coming Up Quick (June 2) And I Just Want To Know Already So I Can Get Everything Out If It's Not What I Want Or Expect (My Husband Wants A Girl Too). I Know It's Selfish But I Can't Be The Only One!!

    Just out of curiosity, why is every word you've written capitalized? I've noticed this on several threads just wondering if there is a reason?
    image
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    Natcat509Natcat509 member
    As long as the baby is healthy, you'll happy. :) Having a baby is such a blessing.
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    MamaOwl15MamaOwl15 member
    I can relate to the anxiety.

    I've always wanted a little girl and I have a boy! I love him more than I could ever imagine, but I'm still hoping for a girl this time around.

    One reason for this is that DH and I have a girl name picked out that we love, but we can't think of a boy name that we can say, without reservation, "this is our baby's name!"

    I'd be lying if I said that I won't be the slightest bit disappointed if, on the 22nd when we go for our ultrasound, we find out we're having another boy.

    But . . . I know that feeling will pass. I can't imagine my son being anyone but who he is.

    FTM's who have your heart set on one sex vs the other, I think it's normal to feel a twinge of disappointment when your hopes aren't met, but once your baby arrives and you see his or her personality develop, your fears and disappointment will subside.



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    booksunshinebooksunshine member
    MirandaC1984 said:

    Knottie70898881 said:

    Yes, I Am Very Lucky To Be Pregnant And Have A Healthy Baby So Far. But I Want A Girl. I Would Be A Big Fat Liar If I Said IWouldn't Be Disappointed And Upset If I'm Having A Boy. I Keep Telling Myself It'll Be Okay If I Have A Boy. But The Date Is Coming Up Quick (June 2) And I Just Want To Know Already So I Can Get Everything Out If It's Not What I Want Or Expect (My Husband Wants A Girl Too). I Know It's Selfish But I Can't Be The Only One!!

    Just out of curiosity, why is every word you've written capitalized? I've noticed this on several threads just wondering if there is a reason?
    My Phone Automatically Does It. I Promise ItAnnoysMe More Than Anyone. I've Tried Everything To Fix It.
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    moonseeds92moonseeds92 member
    missteacherlady16 said:

    moonseeds92 said:

    I feel the same way except I'll be disappointed if I'm not having a boy. I feel guilty about it but little girls are difficult! And I hate pink. I know if I find out it's a girl I'll have a hard time accepting a shit ton of pink foo foo glitter crap from family. Eww.

    Is there a baby handbook that says all little girls only get pink and all little boys get blue? Because I must have missed that somewhere
    No there's not but that's the society we live in. I've been pushing for gender neutral colors (and that's all that's on my registry) but a lot of my family has said that they are waiting until the gender reveal to buy baby a gift. I don't mean to sound ungrateful but to me that's very rude. It won't be as bad if I'm having a boy but if it's a girl my aunt has already said she's making me a newborn sized onesie with a pink glitter tutu sewn to it.
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    dchiapelladchiapella member
    You're not alone in feeling anxious. I think everyone gets images in their head when they find out they're expecting and it's hard to get rid of them. Just try and force yourself to think of scenarios including a little boy. My husband and I both REALLY wanted a boy. We're both nerdy and don't tolerate whining or drama which most girls go through, MOST being the key word here, not all. That was one of the scariest things for my husband to imagine, having a girl. The thought terrified him (he's an only child who was raised by some very peculiar women and therefore lots of bad memories) and I grew up with 3 brothers and primarily boys as friends growing up so girls just kind of make me nervous. 

    But the closer we get to finding out, the less we find we actually care! Boys and girls each have their hardships, both girls and boys are so much fun. And we are at this point completely uncaring as to which we end up having so long as he/ she is healthy. It took us a while to get there though. You mentioned you're finding out June 2nd, so perhaps as you draw closer to that appointment you'll find yourself caring less and less and simply want to know. In the meantime, REALLY open yourself up to the idea of having a boy. Start assuming you'll have a boy and you'll be shocked how quickly you get adjusted. That way you have things to look forward to either way. Plus... baby boy clothes are soooooo cute! Corduroy overalls? Are you kidding? They're lethal they're so adorable! 
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    MirandaC1984MirandaC1984 member
    Knottie70898881 said:

    MirandaC1984 said:

    Knottie70898881 said:

    Yes, I Am Very Lucky To Be Pregnant And Have A Healthy Baby So Far. But I Want A Girl. I Would Be A Big Fat Liar If I Said IWouldn't Be Disappointed And Upset If I'm Having A Boy. I Keep Telling Myself It'll Be Okay If I Have A Boy. But The Date Is Coming Up Quick (June 2) And I Just Want To Know Already So I Can Get Everything Out If It's Not What I Want Or Expect (My Husband Wants A Girl Too). I Know It's Selfish But I Can't Be The Only One!!

    Just out of curiosity, why is every word you've written capitalized? I've noticed this on several threads just wondering if there is a reason?
    My Phone Automatically Does It. I Promise ItAnnoysMe More Than Anyone. I've Tried Everything To Fix It.
    Knottie70898881 said:

    LOL! Well that makes sense. Thanks.

    image
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    KbhunterKbhunter member
    Knottie70898881 said:

    MirandaC1984 said:

    Knottie70898881 said:

    Yes, I Am Very Lucky To Be Pregnant And Have A Healthy Baby So Far. But I Want A Girl. I Would Be A Big Fat Liar If I Said IWouldn't Be Disappointed And Upset If I'm Having A Boy. I Keep Telling Myself It'll Be Okay If I Have A Boy. But The Date Is Coming Up Quick (June 2) And I Just Want To Know Already So I Can Get Everything Out If It's Not What I Want Or Expect (My Husband Wants A Girl Too). I Know It's Selfish But I Can't Be The Only One!!

    Just out of curiosity, why is every word you've written capitalized? I've noticed this on several threads just wondering if there is a reason?
    My Phone Automatically Does It. I Promise ItAnnoysMe More Than Anyone. I've Tried Everything To Fix It.
    Thank god you're not doing it on purpose. Thanks for letting us know! ;)
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    Everycol0rEverycol0r member
    moonseeds92 said:

    missteacherlady16 said:

    moonseeds92 said:

    I feel the same way except I'll be disappointed if I'm not having a boy. I feel guilty about it but little girls are difficult! And I hate pink. I know if I find out it's a girl I'll have a hard time accepting a shit ton of pink foo foo glitter crap from family. Eww.

    Is there a baby handbook that says all little girls only get pink and all little boys get blue? Because I must have missed that somewhere
    No there's not but that's the society we live in. I've been pushing for gender neutral colors (and that's all that's on my registry) but a lot of my family has said that they are waiting until the gender reveal to buy baby a gift. I don't mean to sound ungrateful but to me that's very rude. It won't be as bad if I'm having a boy but if it's a girl my aunt has already said she's making me a newborn sized onesie with a pink glitter tutu sewn to it.
    It's rude for others to want to buy you a gift? Just because they want to wait until they find out the sex doesn't make it rude. There are plenty of female clothes that are not pink, and they are trying to help you.

    If you don't like what you get, don't put it on your LO. Also, if you just want gender neutral clothing, don't tell anyone the sex of the baby.
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    soberrysweetsoberrysweet member
    csy2947 said:

    soberrysweet said:

    csy2947 said:

    @soberrysweet I have a question ? How come you never comment or click the love button on supportive issues, or positive stuff. But you always seem to click the love on something someone said that seems to be not what the poster wanted or what goes against the poster. You always comment on the way people put things and blow it out of proportion. I'm just curious, and I'm not the only only who noticed this. I guess I'm just an optimist and your a pessimist.

    @amberrmariee20 she's a pot stirrer. She posts on like every BMB. Having a similar argument over in Sept 15 right now. @preggersinparis @mybabynumber2 can attest. I would just ignore...I feel like there's some huge chip on their shoulder that all the old time bumpers seem to have. Anyone acting excited or scared or happy or confused or questioning about anything not deemed 'appropriate' sends them spinning.

    OP will obviously love her baby, but sometimes we have our hearts set on something and it takes a second to swallow the disappointment and deal. I went through some infertility troubles and a loss and still had my heart set on a girl (which i'm having woot!). I would have had a couple moments of disappointment before I rallied and went on to love a baby boy with all my heart. GL OP

    If you took the time (which you won't) to go over my post history you would see how wrong you are. But go ahead with your assumptions about me. IDGA flying F.

    I have an opinion about these types of posts. I think it's ridiculous to be upset and actually cry about a healthy baby because it's the "wrong" sex. I think it's a sad indication of the society we live in. Entitled, spoiled, etc.
    This is my personal opinion having seen your posts as I have encountered them on boards relevant to my pregnancy. I only looked because I saw you posting here but hadn't seen you in Oct 15 much, just in 2nd tri. The very first post I came to in your history was basically Sept 15 calling you out for the same thing (big coincidence!). If you're getting this much consistent feedback maybe we all have a point.

    You can post and say whatever you want and we can say that we feel like you come off as overly negative. It's a free Internet!

    I've been a member of TB for four years, the regular posters who have survived the changes or bothered to stick around, are always accused of the same thing. It really means nothing to me that as an adult you can't handle honesty and need everyone to agree with you or sugarcoat their response when they don't.
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    27alex27alex member
    michellelynn6 said:

    I'm a writer and I recently posted a blog post about finding out the gender of my baby. I'm having a boy, but I was 100% sure it was a girl -- and I wanted a girl REALLY BAD. When I found out I was having a boy, I did cry --and I felt very guilty about it. I think it's a natural human emotion to feel disappointed, because you had a certain expectation and things didn't work out. That's normal. That's natural. Just because I wanted a little girl doesn't mean I won't love my little boy. As it is, I'm already planning all the fun things I can do with him. Like, I took my nephews to Disneyland in December and they LOVED Cars Land and the idea of being able to take my nephews AND my own little boy in the next few years is exciting. 


    I don't think anyone should feel guilty about being somewhat disappointed about finding out the gender. We all know we will love our babies. That's why we're here, right? But it's very human and very natural to have an expectation and when it's not met, to feel a little put out. We're in an emotional, hormonal part of our lives. I mean, I cried at a car commercial today. Don't judge for crying about ender haha :) 
    But why even get your hopes up its one sex over the other when you know it's 50/50? And that you have no control over what you're getting. The whole thing is ridiculous to me.
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