This is a UO but you are writing on a flame free post so hopefully we can all be nice ?!
i really dont care about people being nice to me tbh. and i wasnt actually sure which category it fit into. if its recieved that badly i can just erase what was said. doesnt matter to me. figured it was more flamable than a lot of the stuff posted here. a lot of the time this thread is just a collection of randoms (and im sure this tone comes off as rude, hard to convey things over internet)
This is a UO but you are writing on a flame free post so hopefully we can all be nice ?!
i really dont care about people being nice to me tbh. and i wasnt actually sure which category it fit into. if its recieved that badly i can just erase what was said. doesnt matter to me. figured it was more flamable than a lot of the stuff posted here. a lot of the time this thread is just a collection of randoms (and im sure this tone comes off as rude, hard to convey things over internet)
But really, orphanages? If you are in the US, that is such an outdated understanding of the system that it rather invalidates your opinion. No snark, just responding to what you wrote.
my FFFC is that i think there should be a limit on how many children people are allowed to have. especially with orphanages being full and the way the world is getting.
i also think that minimum wage where i live should be raised to $15 as most people are looking to. but i dont think it should happen in fast food places.
We have six (soon to be seven) and we are very happy and actually tried to have this one.
As someone who grew up in a big family (oldest of 6) I feel that I had the best childhood ever. My parents raised/are raising six smart, loving, independent individuals who are making/will make good contributions to society, even though some might say that because there are so many of us we're consuming more than our share of the world's resources. And who knows, maybe one of us will come up with a viable solution to the problems @JessHeppell has pointed to, which are indeed real problems, though I personally don't believe that limiting the amount of children a family should have would solve any of them. I hope that DH and I will also have a big family. I'm not opposed to adoption by any means (actually, I'd like to have lots of biological children AND adopt), but I do think that to suggest that those who want a big family should have the stereotypical 1-2 kids and adopt all the rest is naive. Adoption is EXPENSIVE, the process is often complicated, and the kids often have a really difficult time adapting, which not every parent is prepared for. Definitely a noble, wonderful choice to make (again, one that I'd like to make one day), but there are a lot of things to consider before saying "if you want a big family, just adopt."
I can't think of a more ridiculous statement then "if you want a big family then adopt"... That sounds like a crazy government plan to find ways to control my body and plans of procreation (wow I just got a little conspiracy theorist there!)..... That statement applies to pets not people!!!!
I can't think of a more ridiculous statement then "if you want a big family then adopt"... That sounds like a crazy government plan to find ways to control my body and plans of procreation (wow I just got a little conspiracy theorist there!)..... That statement applies to pets not people!!!!
Exactly. It is nobody's business how many kids I have as long as they are cared and provided for. In Canada, Japan and most of Europe the birthrate is below replacement level now. The very few of us that want large families are not going to drastically tip the balance into over population.
my FFFC is that i think there should be a limit on how many children people are allowed to have. especially with orphanages being full and the way the world is getting.
i also think that minimum wage where i live should be raised to $15 as most people are looking to. but i dont think it should happen in fast food places.
What about the 15year olds that are working their butts off to save for post secondary? Or the ones who are working to help support their family because they may be from a home with one or more under/unemployed parents? Or (gasp) even the ones who work hard and do a good job to save for something they'd like to splurge on? IMO Minimum wage should be raised for everyone.
I wish the adoption process was easier and more financially feasible to do. We have lots of friends and even family members who have adopted and it is not cheap or an easy process. It can actually be a heartbreaking process. A good friend of mine had her son taken away after 3 weeks bc the father changed their mind. That particular State had a law where even though he signed away his parental rights after the birth, he could still change his mind. Imagine having your child taken away from you? Plus, how incredibly f&cked up is it that a Caucasian baby is more expensive than an African American or bi racial baby???? A baby is a baby! DH and I had trouble getting pregnant with our twins. We had told ourselves that we would try one round of IVF (paid for by our insurance) and if it didn't work than we would start the adoption process and start saving $30,000 for adoption. To say that people should just adopt, is incredibly naive considering how complicated the whole process is!
Just as an aside, my husband is adopted. It was a situation where the birth mother knew the adoptive family and it happened at birth, so there was no situation like with a broker or anything. But it's kinda weird how it affects little surprising (or not so surprising) parts of your lives. He had known since he was old enough to know that he was adopted, and I'm sure was curious about but didn't really over care much about finding his birth mother, but it did become important to him later in his early 20s, and we spent a lot of time at the library chasing leads. We did eventually meet her and some others of her family, but we never did learn of his father (either she truly does not know or she is never ever going to tell). It does make things a little different with our own lives tho. For example - those questions they ask you at the beginning of pregnancy about family history of all these different things? His side, mostly blank. We also can't donate cord blood because of not knowing his family history, either. Of course his adoptive family is his 'family' family, they're frustrating as in laws but we love them. Obviously we are pro adoption, and would also adopt in a heartbeat. But yes, there is an adaptation process that occurs, and continues to occur long after the fact. I don't know that everybody could do it - be an adoptive family or be able to adjust easily once the child begins to be curious about where they came from. I'm sure MOST people could, but not everybody.
A great way to help children that don't have a loving family is by fostering. DH and I are foster parents and I wouldn't trade it for anything. Even though we don't get to keep the child forever we are there for them in a time in their lives where they truly need someone fighting for them. A lot of foster parents decide to adopt and using that route can be cheaper than traditional adoption. I personally think that fostering has made me a better person and prepared me for my biological children in ways nothing else ever could.
Re: FFFC - flame free Friday confessions, 5/8
if its recieved that badly i can just erase what was said. doesnt matter to me. figured it was more flamable than a lot of the stuff posted here. a lot of the time this thread is just a collection of randoms
(and im sure this tone comes off as rude, hard to convey things over internet)
No snark, just responding to what you wrote.
As someone who grew up in a big family (oldest of 6) I feel that I had the best childhood ever. My parents raised/are raising six smart, loving, independent individuals who are making/will make good contributions to society, even though some might say that because there are so many of us we're consuming more than our share of the world's resources. And who knows, maybe one of us will come up with a viable solution to the problems @JessHeppell has pointed to, which are indeed real problems, though I personally don't believe that limiting the amount of children a family should have would solve any of them. I hope that DH and I will also have a big family. I'm not opposed to adoption by any means (actually, I'd like to have lots of biological children AND adopt), but I do think that to suggest that those who want a big family should have the stereotypical 1-2 kids and adopt all the rest is naive. Adoption is EXPENSIVE, the process is often complicated, and the kids often have a really difficult time adapting, which not every parent is prepared for. Definitely a noble, wonderful choice to make (again, one that I'd like to make one day), but there are a lot of things to consider before saying "if you want a big family, just adopt."
What about the 15year olds that are working their butts off to save for post secondary? Or the ones who are working to help support their family because they may be from a home with one or more under/unemployed parents? Or (gasp) even the ones who work hard and do a good job to save for something they'd like to splurge on? IMO Minimum wage should be raised for everyone.
OP: you harsh.
Just my thoughts