I agree with many of the girls here and think you shouldn't pressure yourself to decide one way or the other right now. Give it a shot and see how it works.
With my first I made it 3 weeks. He was a super pig (talking 50 oz a day from the jump) and my supply couldn't keep up. This lead to him being miserable and me being miserable because he was crying and hungry all the time. It got to the point where i was edging towards depression and unnecessary stress. So one night i just told my husband to go get formula and called it quits. I felt alot of pressure because there is so much pressure on "breast is best" and so much judgement on formula feeding. But my son is 3 and completely healthy and I was able to keep my sanity, so once I got over the judgement I was ok with my decision.
This time around I'll try and breast feed while on maternity leave, but doubt i'll be able to maintain once I go to work. As a teacher (and seeing what my schedule looks like next year) I just dont know how/when I'll be able to pump.
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The benefits of breastfeeding definitely outweigh the cons, but I know that it can be difficult for some people, and you won't know how you will do with it until you try. I say, give it a fair shot. Stick it out for a month, and from what I've heard, it only gets easier and more second-nature with time.
I know all the reasons I should breast feed, and I do want to try. I have the pump on order through my insurance.
But, I also have done a ton of research into formula and have a back up in case breast feeding doesn't work. None of the women in my family have been successful with breast feeding (I haven't grilled them with the ins and outs of why), so I am just being prepared in case.
I am not comfortable with the thought of breast feeding in public, or even in front of family members. So, we'll give it a go and see what happens.
Whatever you decide to do will be the right thing for you and the baby.
@AshleyM0125 I don't know what being in the 12 percentile has to do with breastfeeding? Not all babies can be in the 90th percentile- some are bigger and some are smaller. My son fluctuated between the 5-10th percentile until he turned 1 and now he's up in to the 20th. As long as he was gaining steadily and meeting developmental milestones, our pediatrician wasn't worried.
She was born at an average weight. My concern (confirmed by the doctor) is that she had not gotten enough nutrients from my milk. That is why she ended up being on the small side and still is. If she had been switched to formula sooner, she would be closer to an average size now. She is healthy and that is 100% the most important thing. I'm perfectly ok with her being small as long is she is healthy.
I agree that you don't need to decide right now. I had always planned on breastfeeding, but it was a HUGE struggle at the beginning. DS had a super strong latch, and it was incredibly painful at first. It took me quite a while to get used to it, but I ended up sticking with it for 2 whole years! Since DS wasn't latching well at the beginning, the nurses suggested that we supplement with formula, so we did. We had an amazing lactation consultant who was very reassuring and supportive. She told us that everyone thinks breastfeeding is a black and white thing. You either do it or you don't. But the truth is that you do whatever works for you and your baby. If that means you use formula as well, then that's fine. We were lucky that DS never had any nipple confusion, so he could go back and forth from breast to bottle with no issues whatsoever.
A few things.... First, breastfeeding is WAY easier than bottle-feeding, in my opinion. I never had to mix formula in the middle of the night and wee hours of the morning. Whenever we went anywhere, I didn't have to worry about bringing a bunch of bottles, water, and formula with us. I bought a nursing cover and never worried about breastfeeding in public (I'm not comfortable with it when not covered.) I did have a couple bottles of pre-mixed formula that I would leave in the diaper bag just in case.
Second, breastfeeding is one of the most amazing things I have ever experienced. The bond is just indescribable. I was sad when it was time to stop! (It all of a sudden became painful again, so I had no choice but to stop just before DS turned 2.) Even with the pain at the beginning, I wouldn't trade it for anything, and I am sooooo looking forward to breastfeeding this baby!
Third, my husband was very involved with everything. Whenever DS did need a bottle (either formula or pumped milk), DH would do it. Plus, he would take over in other areas, such as changing diapers more often or getting him dressed or giving him a bath. The fact that I was mostly breastfeeding really didn't change the amount that DH was involved.
I know this is super long.... sorry! But I also want to mention that I was on maternity leave for about 12 weeks and had to pump during the day after that. I really didn't see this as a burden. It was a nice break, actually. I would usually read a book while pumping.
@AshleyM0125 I don't know what being in the 12 percentile has to do with breastfeeding? Not all babies can be in the 90th percentile- some are bigger and some are smaller. My son fluctuated between the 5-10th percentile until he turned 1 and now he's up in to the 20th. As long as he was gaining steadily and meeting developmental milestones, our pediatrician wasn't worried.
She was born at an average weight. My concern (confirmed by the doctor) is that she had not gotten enough nutrients from my milk. That is why she ended up being on the small side and still is. If she had been switched to formula sooner, she would be closer to an average size now. She is healthy and that is 100% the most important thing. I'm perfectly ok with her being small as long is she is healthy.
Pediatricians can know a lot about BFing or know very little, so I wouldn't take what your pedi is saying as the absolute truth in the matter. My SIL is a pedi and she was taught next to nothing about BFing and the wealth of knowledge she has gained now comes from having BF her 3 sons....not medical school.
It seems to me that your daughter is in the 12th percentile because that's exactly where she belongs. If you had made the switch to formula and she had suddenly jumped to the 50th percentile then I could perhaps see your point. The fact that formula did nothing to change her position on the charts suggests that this is the size she is supposed to be. DD was born at an average weight as well 7lb15oz she has always hovered at the lower end of the chart and still does at 4 1/2. DS on the other hand was born bigger though still average at 8lb12oz and has always been at the top of the charts, I'm talking 90th percentile. I BF both of them well into their second year of life, they have always had good appetites for regular food and obviously eat the same things. I think the only thing that can account for the differences in build between the two is their genes.
It's a shame that there are doctors out there making women feel bad.
@AshleyM0125 I don't know what being in the 12 percentile has to do with breastfeeding? Not all babies can be in the 90th percentile- some are bigger and some are smaller. My son fluctuated between the 5-10th percentile until he turned 1 and now he's up in to the 20th. As long as he was gaining steadily and meeting developmental milestones, our pediatrician wasn't worried.
She was born at an average weight. My concern (confirmed by the doctor) is that she had not gotten enough nutrients from my milk. That is why she ended up being on the small side and still is. If she had been switched to formula sooner, she would be closer to an average size now. She is healthy and that is 100% the most important thing. I'm perfectly ok with her being small as long is she is healthy.
My DD1 was born a perfect 50th percentile, was EBF'ed for 6 weeks until I went septic, and then was FF'ed from there on out- she has received no percentile (meaning out of 100 children she's smaller than ALL of them) since about a year and is currently 2.5. Formula feeding in NO way insures your child is going to be a "good" weight for the medical community. My EBF'ed for a year DD2 is nearly bigger than her older sister.
@AshleyM0125 I don't know what being in the 12 percentile has to do with breastfeeding? Not all babies can be in the 90th percentile- some are bigger and some are smaller. My son fluctuated between the 5-10th percentile until he turned 1 and now he's up in to the 20th. As long as he was gaining steadily and meeting developmental milestones, our pediatrician wasn't worried.
She was born at an average weight. My concern (confirmed by the doctor) is that she had not gotten enough nutrients from my milk. That is why she ended up being on the small side and still is. If she had been switched to formula sooner, she would be closer to an average size now. She is healthy and that is 100% the most important thing. I'm perfectly ok with her being small as long is she is healthy.
Pediatricians can know a lot about BFing or know very little, so I wouldn't take what your pedi is saying as the absolute truth in the matter. My SIL is a pedi and she was taught next to nothing about BFing and the wealth of knowledge she has gained now comes from having BF her 3 sons....not medical school.
It seems to me that your daughter is in the 12th percentile because that's exactly where she belongs. If you had made the switch to formula and she had suddenly jumped to the 50th percentile then I could perhaps see your point. The fact that formula did nothing to change her position on the charts suggests that this is the size she is supposed to be. DD was born at an average weight as well 7lb15oz she has always hovered at the lower end of the chart and still does at 4 1/2. DS on the other hand was born bigger though still average at 8lb12oz and has always been at the top of the charts, I'm talking 90th percentile. I BF both of them well into their second year of life, they have always had good appetites for regular food and obviously eat the same things. I think the only thing that can account for the differences in build between the two is their genes.
It's a shame that there are doctors out there making women feel bad.
This exactly. I'm big on BFing but if your daughter had been malnourished formula would have fixed that very quickly. Some children are just petite.
@AshleyM0125 I don't know what being in the 12 percentile has to do with breastfeeding? Not all babies can be in the 90th percentile- some are bigger and some are smaller. My son fluctuated between the 5-10th percentile until he turned 1 and now he's up in to the 20th. As long as he was gaining steadily and meeting developmental milestones, our pediatrician wasn't worried.
She was born at an average weight. My concern (confirmed by the doctor) is that she had not gotten enough nutrients from my milk. That is why she ended up being on the small side and still is. If she had been switched to formula sooner, she would be closer to an average size now. She is healthy and that is 100% the most important thing. I'm perfectly ok with her being small as long is she is healthy.
Pediatricians can know a lot about BFing or know very little, so I wouldn't take what your pedi is saying as the absolute truth in the matter. My SIL is a pedi and she was taught next to nothing about BFing and the wealth of knowledge she has gained now comes from having BF her 3 sons....not medical school.
It seems to me that your daughter is in the 12th percentile because that's exactly where she belongs. If you had made the switch to formula and she had suddenly jumped to the 50th percentile then I could perhaps see your point. The fact that formula did nothing to change her position on the charts suggests that this is the size she is supposed to be. DD was born at an average weight as well 7lb15oz she has always hovered at the lower end of the chart and still does at 4 1/2. DS on the other hand was born bigger though still average at 8lb12oz and has always been at the top of the charts, I'm talking 90th percentile. I BF both of them well into their second year of life, they have always had good appetites for regular food and obviously eat the same things. I think the only thing that can account for the differences in build between the two is their genes.
It's a shame that there are doctors out there making women feel bad.
Yup... I have to agree as well. The Birthing Suite at my hospital has won numerous local and national awards for their knowledge of breastfeeding. Every single nurse and doctor is highly educated in this area, and they are always learning more. I have never heard of breastfeeding having an impact on the size of the child.
When my boys were in special care at the nursery, they took my breastmilk and measured the calories to make sure it was rich enough. It was dead on with formula (which is how they design formula to be like breast milk). It's really rare to have breastmilk under calories, more common to be the same or higher. They were hoping mine was higher because the smaller twin was struggling with feeds and eventually had to have a feeding tube but all is well now
@AshleyM0125 I don't know what being in the 12 percentile has to do with breastfeeding? Not all babies can be in the 90th percentile- some are bigger and some are smaller. My son fluctuated between the 5-10th percentile until he turned 1 and now he's up in to the 20th. As long as he was gaining steadily and meeting developmental milestones, our pediatrician wasn't worried.
She was born at an average weight. My concern (confirmed by the doctor) is that she had not gotten enough nutrients from my milk. That is why she ended up being on the small side and still is. If she had been switched to formula sooner, she would be closer to an average size now. She is healthy and that is 100% the most important thing. I'm perfectly ok with her being small as long is she is healthy.
Seems she'd have been underweight if she hadnt gotten enough nutrients. Someone's gotta be in the 12th percentile. Small babies and people aren't necessarily unhealthy, they're just small. All doctors aren't as informed about breastfed babies. Anyhow, I'm glad your daughter's healthy.
To the OP, I enjoyed breastfeeding my first and intend to breastfeed this time around. You have nothing to lose by giving it a try. The choice is yours. I would add, from experience, it does require a good honest try. If you decide to go for it, set mini goals and work from there.
You can part-time breastfeed instead of full-time. Your body should adjust to the amount of feeding that you are doing as long as you are consistent.
My recommendation is to try it out for a couple of weeks and see what works for you! Colostrum is super important for babies and that comes in the first 3-4 days. Around the end of day 2 or 3 if your milk isn't in yet your baby may get extra hungry and fussy so then you can do one last feeding, go to bed, and have your partner offer the baby a bottle of formula while you are sleeping (this gives you that much needed 4-hour stretch of sleep or more!). Then you can nurse again when you wake up. If your partner wants to help with feeding you can pump OR formula feed during those times he feeds her, but you need to spread them out evenly. For example, your partner bottle feeds at noon and midnight each day. You nurse the rest of the time.
Don't buy a ton of formula right away even if you end up formula feeding full time! Go to Enfamil and Simulac online and sign up for their programs... Simulac already sent me a ton of free formula! And coupons.
I actually hate the way you get judge for deciding not to breastfeed for the simple reason yor partner wants to be involved! Yes breast milk is great for the baby but it's actually the colostrum that is the best part for your baby which is only for 2 days with my first daughter the nurses at the hospital exspressed my colostrum and feed that to my daughter then I formula feed, I personally think you have to be 100% commited to it if you do do it and have to feel comfortable to be able to do it anywhere at any time which I am not. I don't believe it makes you a bad mother just because you decide to bottle feed so your partner can help or even do a night feed if your exhausted and it's fine and well to say to exspress but it does take a lot of time.
Just curious if there were any moms out there who have decided that they are not going to breastfeed? What are your reasons for not doing so? I'm a FTM and am really struggling to decide. I feel like I know all the pros and cons. I am even going to take a breastfeeding class to educate myself more. Anyone else undecided like me? Never imagined it would be this hard of a decision for me...
It could be extremely easy! It was for me. You owe it to your baby and your body to at least try. If it doesn't work, no judgement. But I think to "choose" not to try to give your baby the best would be sad.
Wow. Thank you everyone! I value all your opinions and got great feedback from posting this form. I'm so happy to hear what everyone had/has to say. Definitely helps me make the decision that is best for me.
Re: Any moms who have decided not to breastfeed?
A few things....
First, breastfeeding is WAY easier than bottle-feeding, in my opinion. I never had to mix formula in the middle of the night and wee hours of the morning. Whenever we went anywhere, I didn't have to worry about bringing a bunch of bottles, water, and formula with us. I bought a nursing cover and never worried about breastfeeding in public (I'm not comfortable with it when not covered.) I did have a couple bottles of pre-mixed formula that I would leave in the diaper bag just in case.
Second, breastfeeding is one of the most amazing things I have ever experienced. The bond is just indescribable. I was sad when it was time to stop! (It all of a sudden became painful again, so I had no choice but to stop just before DS turned 2.) Even with the pain at the beginning, I wouldn't trade it for anything, and I am sooooo looking forward to breastfeeding this baby!
Third, my husband was very involved with everything. Whenever DS did need a bottle (either formula or pumped milk), DH would do it. Plus, he would take over in other areas, such as changing diapers more often or getting him dressed or giving him a bath. The fact that I was mostly breastfeeding really didn't change the amount that DH was involved.
I know this is super long.... sorry! But I also want to mention that I was on maternity leave for about 12 weeks and had to pump during the day after that. I really didn't see this as a burden. It was a nice break, actually. I would usually read a book while pumping.
It seems to me that your daughter is in the 12th percentile because that's exactly where she belongs. If you had made the switch to formula and she had suddenly jumped to the 50th percentile then I could perhaps see your point. The fact that formula did nothing to change her position on the charts suggests that this is the size she is supposed to be. DD was born at an average weight as well 7lb15oz she has always hovered at the lower end of the chart and still does at 4 1/2. DS on the other hand was born bigger though still average at 8lb12oz and has always been at the top of the charts, I'm talking 90th percentile. I BF both of them well into their second year of life, they have always had good appetites for regular food and obviously eat the same things. I think the only thing that can account for the differences in build between the two is their genes.
It's a shame that there are doctors out there making women feel bad.
My DD1 was born a perfect 50th percentile, was EBF'ed for 6 weeks until I went septic, and then was FF'ed from there on out- she has received no percentile (meaning out of 100 children she's smaller than ALL of them) since about a year and is currently 2.5. Formula feeding in NO way insures your child is going to be a "good" weight for the medical community. My EBF'ed for a year DD2 is nearly bigger than her older sister.To the OP, I enjoyed breastfeeding my first and intend to breastfeed this time around. You have nothing to lose by giving it a try. The choice is yours. I would add, from experience, it does require a good honest try. If you decide to go for it, set mini goals and work from there.
My recommendation is to try it out for a couple of weeks and see what works for you! Colostrum is super important for babies and that comes in the first 3-4 days. Around the end of day 2 or 3 if your milk isn't in yet your baby may get extra hungry and fussy so then you can do one last feeding, go to bed, and have your partner offer the baby a bottle of formula while you are sleeping (this gives you that much needed 4-hour stretch of sleep or more!). Then you can nurse again when you wake up. If your partner wants to help with feeding you can pump OR formula feed during those times he feeds her, but you need to spread them out evenly. For example, your partner bottle feeds at noon and midnight each day. You nurse the rest of the time.
Don't buy a ton of formula right away even if you end up formula feeding full time! Go to Enfamil and Simulac online and sign up for their programs... Simulac already sent me a ton of free formula! And coupons.