Suddenly sad to be done :(

mill1020 · May 2015

Ok, I realize this is a very first-world problem, but I'm suddenly feeling down about this being our last baby.

I just turned 32 (DH is 34) and this is our 5th child. I'm a SAHM. We are not rich, but we're comfortable.

I thought I was totally reconciled to the idea of being DONE done, but now I'm not so sure. Maybe it's because it's settling in that we're having a boy and truthfully I'm still slightly longing for one more daughter. But maybe I would always feel that way no matter how many kids we have.

Can anybody relate to this?

excited2bmommy09 · May 2015

I cannot as I am a FTM with this one and still hope for two more, but I have talked to lots of women who have this issue with their last baby. Seems to be really common which is understandable because any time we do something for the last time it's bittersweet.

martruby · May 2015

I just turned 36 and this will be my 3rd and final baby. It worked out pretty good since I already have 2 girls and now am going to have a boy. I've decided it'll be my last because of my age, but it hit me the other day that it will be my last and it made me sadder than I thought it would. This pregnancy is going by way too fast so I can't help thinking that these baby kicks will be the last ones I ever feel

(

ForeverEverAfter · May 2015

This is my last planned pregnancy. This is my second, and I had always wanted at least three. We bought a big 4 bdrm farmhouse last year with the intention of a growing family.

I've had hyperemesis both times, along with various other complaints. I'm just completely uncomfortable, and realize I'd never be able to handle this with 2 kids and working. I can barely function enough to keep my job now-thank heaven for my wonderful coworkers always covering for me.

I do hope to foster kids in the future when we're more settled, and hubby is content with 2 kids, and happy to consider long term fostering as well. Half the time I think-omg, let this be over and never happen again!! The other half I see my bump, or feel the kicks, and want to cry thinking this is the last time I'll feel this amazing gift. I know I'll cry many a times more, especially as I pack/give away the newborn items for good

sarahlinde · May 2015

This is our 4th and last. I now am comfortable with the fact this is our last because we are having a girl, which is what I really wanted. My oldest is 16 and a girl and my boys are 5 and 3. I was really hoping for one more girl. I totally understand how you feel because if this baby were a boy I dont know if I would be ok with this being our last. I have also had a pretty rough pregnancy so far so that has helped also

. Everything happens for a reason and I hope you can find peace with whatever works out for you!

thefuturemrsdaniel · May 2015

I was wondering if anyone else was having these thoughts haha. This is our 2nd little boy. My husband and I are both in our 20s but we've decided this is the last one. I'm totally happy with my boys I just thought I would always have 3. Our first delivery didn't go well (NICU for little man and bleeding badly for me). We are both nervous about this delivery which is why I know my husband is done. I have days I'm happy we will be done and excited about all the things we will get to do with our two boys but also sad there will only be 2. We always wanted to adopt so I'm sure that will happen later I just think it's the realization this is it haha

Mewkie · May 2015

Aww I am not sure we are done but I can imagine i will feel the same way! It took four years to get pregnant with our first and many medical procedures. I enjoyed every last bit of that pregnancy, thinking it could be my only. Now it's the same with this surprise pregnancy. I can't help but think I could get this lucky again and have another shot!
Also, we have had some abnormal testing with this kiddo and so far signs are pointing to false positive but the worry is immense and since we declined the amnio we won't know for sure until he is born. With DS1, we had some wacky results and placenta previa and he is perfectly healthy but agaun I worried like crazy. Not sure my heart can take another pregnancy but my head certainly wants more than 2 children. I guess we shall see. @mill1020 enjoy your pregnancy!

shelbydd · May 2015

I can kind of relate. I'm a ftm but this will likely be our last as well. I had my heart set on having a girl and I don't feel like I experienced gender disappointment in a normal sense. I am overjoyed to be having a son but the idea that this is the only one I'll have and the chance of me having a daughter is pretty much out the window is kinda hard to swallow. I'm trying to just enjoy my pregnancy but that is definitely in the back of my mind.

mybabynumber2 · May 2015

Yes!!! It was something my SIL said to me the other day about when she had her last child. She said she cried after he was born as she knew she'd never feel that feeling again, feeling the first kicks etc.
Only then did it stop and make me think, wow, that's us, we don't plan to have anymore, it made me feel really sad that I won't experience this again... But on the plus side I thought, I'm very very lucky to have what I have, and then some. :-)

Try think of it that way, it made me feel better once I'd got my head round it. It has made me appreciate this pregnancy a whole lot more, when I'm loving it anyway, hope this makes sense lol.

WDDCH · May 2015

YES I can relate! And that's why I'm pregnant with my sixth lol. I totally felt that way with my fifth. I thought he was the last but I wasn't sure...

My husband scheduled a vasectomy after our fifth was born and I panicked so he canceled. I needed time. I couldn't make this life altering decision when I was postpartum and emotional.

I had just begun to reconsider canceling the vasectomy, finally felt peace that we were done, right before finding out I was pregnant this time! I'm definitely done. I think you just know when you've had all you can be blessed with lol.

mybabynumber2 · May 2015

@WDDCH I LOVE your posts, there so motherly, full of experience and knowledge. :-)

Elizabeth043086 · May 2015

I kind of know what you mean. This is my third and I know we are not done, but when I try to think of when I might be done, I don't feel like I want to be done until my body says I'm done. I don't think I can make the choice on my own. I just love my kids. I feel sad at the thought of coming to a point in my life when I'm on my last baby. I don't have any advice for you, but I can imagine how you feel.

thinkpink101 · May 2015

I'm so sad that I'll never have a girl but after four boys we will for sure be done. I just don't think dh's family makes girls. One girl born in the last 3 generations, and everyone had at least 3 boys!

lovesgummies · May 2015

This is our third and it hasn't really hit me yet. I did have a moment today when I thought about selling my girls' old clothes and thought I can never do that! So...I think it'll hit me soon

kajordan09 · May 2015

I definitely felt this way after DS #2 was born. My DH always said he only wanted just 2 but I had a hard time closing that door. I would cry at every milestone that DS#2 reached, realizing it was the last time. Lo and behold, DH had a change of heart and realized he wanted one more and I was thrilled. While I'm happy to know that this WILL be our last (this time I'm realizing it's much harder to keep going with little ones in tow!) I think what is tough for me is knowing that my body will no longer have the job it was always meant to have- producing babies. It just makes me feel so old knowing that the factory is shutting down and this part of my life will be over. I'm trying not to drown out these happy times with sadness and really appreciate every moment this time. I'm really working on hitting the future milestones with my kids and all there is to look forward to in the post baby phase

J0C0TX · May 2015

Yes. Absolutely yes. When dd2 was born by repeat section I was asked if I wanted my tubes tied and though I was happy with 2, I knew dh would like 3 at least so I said no to a tubal and am so glad I made that choice but this time I will get a tubal and knowing that part of our life is done make us both sad but we have so much to look forward to with our family of 5

nursekatie47 · May 2015

I am done done done. Pregnancy is hard on me, my body and everyone around me. I will be sad as I do all the firsts for the last time and as I give away things the baby no longer needs or outgrows, but this is right for me and my family.

magdajane · May 2015

I'm 24. I was diagnosed woth cervical cancer and have been given the ring around on my possibility of future children... I'm pregnant with number two and because I have a gut feeling (and a secret desire) that the anatomy scan at 18 weeks was wrong I'm going back for another. I too understand from a different perspective what you mean. ♡ but we've gotta love the ones we've got and not think about the ones we still want...

nika716 · May 2015

martruby said:
I just turned 36 and this will be my 3rd and final baby. It worked out pretty good since I already have 2 girls and now am going to have a boy. I've decided it'll be my last because of my age, but it hit me the other day that it will be my last and it made me sadder than I thought it would. This pregnancy is going by way too fast so I can't help thinking that these baby kicks will be the last ones I ever feel (

I'm in the same place. 36 on my 3rd and final but this is also my 3rd boy. Hoping to possibly convince SO about a 4th hoping it turns out to be a girl but my luck it will be another boy lol!!! Hubby says no 4th or else he will go back into active duty military. Lol

mill1020 · October 2015

Thanks, everyone, for the thoughts and support. I know this is an old thread but I'm definitely still feeling SUPER conflicted about being done. And this is right after having a tough third trimester.

My husband is like, "NO WAY, don't you remember how terrible you felt with this pregnancy???" And I'm like, yeah, but...UGH, I really want one more. For real this time.

I'm supposed to get the Mirena at 8 weeks postpartum but I'm dragging my feet to even make the appointment. To be honest I'm a little bit paranoid I'll have an ectopic with it in or lose an early pregnancy due to the thing shifting or something like that (apparently it happens). That would really suck.

Yes, I know; I am a terrible, greedy person but I already want him to change his mind and it's only been 4 weeks since George was born. I did not think this feeling would last.

Louj89 · October 2015

I feel the same sad that I won't have another or experience another pregnancy had my 4th 17 days ago.

jwebbbber45678 · October 2015

After labor and dealing with a newborn and sleep deprivation, I am one and done! I'm honestly surprised that the human species had proliferated despise the horrors of labor and the difficulties of raising a newborn. Good for you ladies for wanting to do it all again. I do not want another child!

tlc11934 · October 2015

I am definitely done! 3 girls for us and that's ok. I can't imagine being pregnant again, I really don't enjoy that at all. I am loving the snuggles from my almost 3 week old, but I'm wiped out from juggling 3 kids right now and I know it will only get worse when i go back to work.

LoveLee85 · October 2015

I'm 30 and just had my first...our plan all along was two children. I'm already thinking wow I want more than that now! BUT college/vacation/life expenses wise, we can give two a great life! And I'm terrified about stretching myself too thin. BUT having this little boy has been such an amazing experience!!!!!

Eslade14 · October 2015

We have three girls under 3 1/2 now and are done as well. This was a hard pregnancy and I'm glad it's over but for some reason I'm sad the whole labor and being in the hospital is over...not that I love being in the hospital but im sad the experience is over and I'll never be able to do it again. Probably just post baby hormones.

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