Trying to Get Pregnant

Anyone not temping? + Intro

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Re: Anyone not temping? + Intro

  • Dastew44 said:

    antoto said:

    Dastew44 said:


    Dastew44 said:

    I can see the difference. Just a little devils advocate, though: it seems like stress can affect your cycle, and despite all of the personal stories here, some people do actually have very regular cycles. What's working for someone shouldn't be so offensive to everyone else. Me having additional stress in my life only makes my patience strained and adds strife to my marriage. Additionally, I don't have a schedule that would allow for temping even if I had a personality that would work for it. I've only been lurking about a week but I've seen a lot of stuff that makes this board seem super unwelcoming. I thought it would be something like talking to a best friend, but I've yet to see any post actually related to the process of TTC be welcomed with open arms and without judgement.

    I'm going to be as nice about this as possible - can you give examples of someone being unwelcoming? I'm relatively certain that the only people we've asked to leave are those who have been incredibly rude (i.e. name calling). There's been no flaming, no name-calling, no insults. Referring someone to the guidelines for the community and suggesting that they read through some of the threads from the last day or so to find an answer to a very VERY common question isn't rude or unwelcoming, it's doing our best to help you fit in with an established community that operates a certain way.

    I expect my best friend to tell me when I'm acting the fool. I expect her to judge me for my stupidity. That's what a best friend is for. This community does have open arms - but we're not going to blow glitter around and squee with every single person who shows up thinking they might be pregnant but wont take a test (or has taken a test but refuses to believe it's true). We deal in straight forward facts and science.

    Some people don't want that. And that's cool. But why should we have to change for new people, when we like things the way they are?
    I totally understand being straightforward. This thread is a great example though -- if everything is so straight forward (the collective voice seems to be anyone not temping is holding themselves back) and all the information can be googled or look back on previous threads then what exactly is the point of the board?

    I'll also explain why I came here. I'm TTC, and I honestly believed that it would be fast and simple. It didn't happen the first month and I was heartbroken. I had no idea I would feel that way, but I honestly believed I was pregnant. My friends aren't at the TTC stage and my mom conceived me basically as soon as they started trying. I wanted to come here and ask people how they deal, what they suggest, etc. The first post I saw was one about things you wish people know coming on the board and it basically just flamed up my experience like I was an idiot for having phantom symptoms or being hurt after a month. That's not welcoming.

    The only things I've seen that haven't just directed people elsewhere or given those "straightforward" answers is people posting pictures of their pets, and equally unrelated stuff.

    Also, just because you read it on the Internet doesn't make it true. People should engage in these questions and determine what's best on them both by scientific evidence and by anecdote. Fertility isn't the most well developed of sciences and still has a way to go. I'm not here for scientific information cause y'all aren't doctors. I'm here to hear about what others are going through.
    Then you're probably not going to fit in well with this board. Not trying to be rude, but each board has their own personality. Here we like science, don't symptom spot, and expect people to have some amount of patience because it can be rude to those who are struggling. There are lots of boards, however, that enjoy symptom spotting and will encourage false beliefs that you're pregnant or whatever. They won't spout science. Feel free to locate one of those.
    I feel like this is a good point.  Not every single human being on Earth will be happy in every single online discussion board.  And that's okay!  Just find whatever is most helpful to you.  It's a gigantic waste of your time to try to change the personality of an established community.  If this isn't helpful to you then don't waste your time!  If you find it is helpful then stay :)
    Just to clarify.... you don't find the PP to be rude or insulting to anyone and you think that it's an appropriate way to respond to someone? Good luck to yall. If the science was so simple, you wouldn't being wearing your months of TTC/Temping as a badge of honor.
     We're just trying to say that sometimes, something just isn't a good fit, and it makes more sense to find something that fits better than to force the thing that doesn't fit to change. You yourself stated that you weren't looking for what we've got here, you're looking for something else. Cool. You do you, we'll do us.

    I don't find any of the posts in this conversation rude up until your last post there ^. We're not wearing them as a badge of honor. And no one said science was simple, just that there are some basic things that are true, no matter how many anecdotes you want to hear. Please do not continue to make light of others struggles to conceive, it's a good way to get yourself reported.
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  • kmcc14kmcc14 member
    edited May 2015
    Dastew44 said:

    Dastew44 said:

    Just to clarify.... you don't find the PP to be rude or insulting to anyone and you think that it's an appropriate way to respond to someone? Good luck to yall. If the science was so simple, you wouldn't being wearing your months of TTC/Temping as a badge of honor.

    Well that was just mean.

    Edit because quote box craziness.
    Me: 30 DH: 35 
    TTC #1 - Jan 2015
    BFP on 5/13/15
    DD born 1/24/16
    TTC #2 - Jun 2017
    BFP on 8/24/17
    Anniversary 
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker


  • Dastew44 said:

    antoto said:

    Dastew44 said:


    Dastew44 said:

    I can see the difference. Just a little devils advocate, though: it seems like stress can affect your cycle, and despite all of the personal stories here, some people do actually have very regular cycles. What's working for someone shouldn't be so offensive to everyone else. Me having additional stress in my life only makes my patience strained and adds strife to my marriage. Additionally, I don't have a schedule that would allow for temping even if I had a personality that would work for it. I've only been lurking about a week but I've seen a lot of stuff that makes this board seem super unwelcoming. I thought it would be something like talking to a best friend, but I've yet to see any post actually related to the process of TTC be welcomed with open arms and without judgement.

    I'm going to be as nice about this as possible - can you give examples of someone being unwelcoming? I'm relatively certain that the only people we've asked to leave are those who have been incredibly rude (i.e. name calling). There's been no flaming, no name-calling, no insults. Referring someone to the guidelines for the community and suggesting that they read through some of the threads from the last day or so to find an answer to a very VERY common question isn't rude or unwelcoming, it's doing our best to help you fit in with an established community that operates a certain way.

    I expect my best friend to tell me when I'm acting the fool. I expect her to judge me for my stupidity. That's what a best friend is for. This community does have open arms - but we're not going to blow glitter around and squee with every single person who shows up thinking they might be pregnant but wont take a test (or has taken a test but refuses to believe it's true). We deal in straight forward facts and science.

    Some people don't want that. And that's cool. But why should we have to change for new people, when we like things the way they are?
    I totally understand being straightforward. This thread is a great example though -- if everything is so straight forward (the collective voice seems to be anyone not temping is holding themselves back) and all the information can be googled or look back on previous threads then what exactly is the point of the board?

    I'll also explain why I came here. I'm TTC, and I honestly believed that it would be fast and simple. It didn't happen the first month and I was heartbroken. I had no idea I would feel that way, but I honestly believed I was pregnant. My friends aren't at the TTC stage and my mom conceived me basically as soon as they started trying. I wanted to come here and ask people how they deal, what they suggest, etc. The first post I saw was one about things you wish people know coming on the board and it basically just flamed up my experience like I was an idiot for having phantom symptoms or being hurt after a month. That's not welcoming.

    The only things I've seen that haven't just directed people elsewhere or given those "straightforward" answers is people posting pictures of their pets, and equally unrelated stuff.

    Also, just because you read it on the Internet doesn't make it true. People should engage in these questions and determine what's best on them both by scientific evidence and by anecdote. Fertility isn't the most well developed of sciences and still has a way to go. I'm not here for scientific information cause y'all aren't doctors. I'm here to hear about what others are going through.
    Then you're probably not going to fit in well with this board. Not trying to be rude, but each board has their own personality. Here we like science, don't symptom spot, and expect people to have some amount of patience because it can be rude to those who are struggling. There are lots of boards, however, that enjoy symptom spotting and will encourage false beliefs that you're pregnant or whatever. They won't spout science. Feel free to locate one of those.
    I feel like this is a good point.  Not every single human being on Earth will be happy in every single online discussion board.  And that's okay!  Just find whatever is most helpful to you.  It's a gigantic waste of your time to try to change the personality of an established community.  If this isn't helpful to you then don't waste your time!  If you find it is helpful then stay :)
    Just to clarify.... you don't find the PP to be rude or insulting to anyone and you think that it's an appropriate way to respond to someone? Good luck to yall. If the science was so simple, you wouldn't being wearing your months of TTC/Temping as a badge of honor.
    Wow... I was trying to give you legit advice because no one here is changing and this board isn't what you want. What you said is over the line and cruel. But you're right, I'm rude...
    Me: 28, DH: 28
    Diagnosed with PCOS: Summer 2007
    Married: July 2013
    Began TTC: June 2015

    http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/58d258

  • nicosh8nicosh8 member
    Dastew44 said:

    antoto said:

    Dastew44 said:


    Dastew44 said:

    I can see the difference. Just a little devils advocate, though: it seems like stress can affect your cycle, and despite all of the personal stories here, some people do actually have very regular cycles. What's working for someone shouldn't be so offensive to everyone else. Me having additional stress in my life only makes my patience strained and adds strife to my marriage. Additionally, I don't have a schedule that would allow for temping even if I had a personality that would work for it. I've only been lurking about a week but I've seen a lot of stuff that makes this board seem super unwelcoming. I thought it would be something like talking to a best friend, but I've yet to see any post actually related to the process of TTC be welcomed with open arms and without judgement.

    I'm going to be as nice about this as possible - can you give examples of someone being unwelcoming? I'm relatively certain that the only people we've asked to leave are those who have been incredibly rude (i.e. name calling). There's been no flaming, no name-calling, no insults. Referring someone to the guidelines for the community and suggesting that they read through some of the threads from the last day or so to find an answer to a very VERY common question isn't rude or unwelcoming, it's doing our best to help you fit in with an established community that operates a certain way.

    I expect my best friend to tell me when I'm acting the fool. I expect her to judge me for my stupidity. That's what a best friend is for. This community does have open arms - but we're not going to blow glitter around and squee with every single person who shows up thinking they might be pregnant but wont take a test (or has taken a test but refuses to believe it's true). We deal in straight forward facts and science.

    Some people don't want that. And that's cool. But why should we have to change for new people, when we like things the way they are?
    I totally understand being straightforward. This thread is a great example though -- if everything is so straight forward (the collective voice seems to be anyone not temping is holding themselves back) and all the information can be googled or look back on previous threads then what exactly is the point of the board?

    I'll also explain why I came here. I'm TTC, and I honestly believed that it would be fast and simple. It didn't happen the first month and I was heartbroken. I had no idea I would feel that way, but I honestly believed I was pregnant. My friends aren't at the TTC stage and my mom conceived me basically as soon as they started trying. I wanted to come here and ask people how they deal, what they suggest, etc. The first post I saw was one about things you wish people know coming on the board and it basically just flamed up my experience like I was an idiot for having phantom symptoms or being hurt after a month. That's not welcoming.

    The only things I've seen that haven't just directed people elsewhere or given those "straightforward" answers is people posting pictures of their pets, and equally unrelated stuff.

    Also, just because you read it on the Internet doesn't make it true. People should engage in these questions and determine what's best on them both by scientific evidence and by anecdote. Fertility isn't the most well developed of sciences and still has a way to go. I'm not here for scientific information cause y'all aren't doctors. I'm here to hear about what others are going through.
    Then you're probably not going to fit in well with this board. Not trying to be rude, but each board has their own personality. Here we like science, don't symptom spot, and expect people to have some amount of patience because it can be rude to those who are struggling. There are lots of boards, however, that enjoy symptom spotting and will encourage false beliefs that you're pregnant or whatever. They won't spout science. Feel free to locate one of those.
    I feel like this is a good point.  Not every single human being on Earth will be happy in every single online discussion board.  And that's okay!  Just find whatever is most helpful to you.  It's a gigantic waste of your time to try to change the personality of an established community.  If this isn't helpful to you then don't waste your time!  If you find it is helpful then stay :)
    Just to clarify.... you don't find the PP to be rude or insulting to anyone and you think that it's an appropriate way to respond to someone? Good luck to yall. If the science was so simple, you wouldn't being wearing your months of TTC/Temping as a badge of honor.
    This is absolutely disgusting. Get out of here with this shit.
    Me:27 DH:27
    Married: May 2013
    TTC#1 since Nov 2014
    MC June 2015
    MC January 2016
    Compound Hetero MTHFR Gene Mutation
  • Oh what, you're just going to insult all of us and run off @Dastew44 ??

    Classy.
    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
    TTC #1 - Nov '14
    BFP 2/3/16  EDD 10/16/16
    DS born 10/18

    LFAF: Frankly Disturbing
  • @Dastew44

    Umm I've been NPNT since June, you know going with the flow and seeing what will happen
     and no luck...
    will be temping from now on

    And WILL be wearing it as badge of knowledge and not being ignorant of how my own body works 

    image
    Age 24 DH 24 TTC#1!
    NTNP since June '14
    TTC since February '15
    Anniversary

    photo mrsespigreen_3_Autocorrect Fail Bumpie-2_zps0y7kauvn.jpg
  • Oh what, you're just going to insult all of us and run off @Dastew44 ??

    Classy.


    I didn't run off. I'm sorry that people were offended by my flippant tone. I can see how it would come across that way. I would never purposely imply that infertility is some sort of joke or that it's something that is anyone's personal thought. I didn't mean the good luck sarcastically either. I wish everyone luck. But it's not simple. If it was simple it would just work. And it doesn't just happen like that, like you're told for years it will, and for someone first starting out that's confusing and stressful. So saying that someone else doesn't deserve simpathy for feeling confused and guidance when lost because you've been trying longer sounds to me a lot like holding a superior attitude.

    I'm definitely sorry if if sounded like I was trying to be rude. I should have expounded my thoughts. Implying that I somehow was lacking any knowledge because I don't temp really hit me as mean spirited, and that may be out of pure exhaustion (I work 6 days on a day, day, swing, swing, mid, mid schedule and that is also why I can't temp).

    I understand why I was reported and that's fine. I've avoided posting on the threads where I didn't feel I could add or contribute, and honestly only posted on this one to support the OP, and ask a question where I was confused where people were getting info from. I won't be posting on this boards threads like this whatever the outcome of being reported is.

    I apologize again for anyone who took it with a cruel intention. I hope explaining it helped.
  • @Dastew44 you have no idea what it's like to struggle with TTC. I'm very sorry that you were so heartbroken after one cycle. Unfortunately all that does is tell us that you don't have a true understanding of the TTC process. If you aren't here for science and fact then you are CLEARLY on the wrong board and you would know that if you had lurked and gotten familiar with the community. Not a single person here wears their struggles as a badge of honor as you so flippantly put it. They struggle, they educate themselves and each other, and they do their best to give themselves the most favorable odds by using knowledge and understanding. They welcome new people (who don't come in here disrespecting the community by blatantly ignoring the rules) and congratulate the lucky ones who have success. They post silly threads like the one about their pets because life can't be all about TTC and they have to continue to live their lives despite whatever troubles they face with TTC. They build relationships and try to keep sane because that is what needs to be done. No one here is going to change and start sugar coating things and blasting glitter up your butt just because a few new people failed to respect the existing culture.

    You wouldn't go to a foreign country and shit all over their way of life and expect them to change their culture to suit your preferences. Don't do it here.

    I apologized for offending anyone, and explained my intent. It's fine that you have a culture, and that you're uninterested in changing it, but that also doesn't mean that you can't allow more than one type of person or communication to happen here. I read the bump guidelines, too. You don't have to comment on every post. I looked at another post where people weren't saying "oh this would be better on X board" or "get this is the science" or even just flat out ignoring it but instead posted MEME after MEME making fun of the woman. By the way, this is also against the guidelines. There's all sorts of stuff going on here, thats true, but this is the board that's automatically given to you when you sign up.
  • Dastew44 said:

    Oh what, you're just going to insult all of us and run off @Dastew44 ??

    Classy.


    I didn't run off. I'm sorry that people were offended by my flippant tone. I can see how it would come across that way. I would never purposely imply that infertility is some sort of joke or that it's something that is anyone's personal thought. I didn't mean the good luck sarcastically either. I wish everyone luck. But it's not simple. If it was simple it would just work. And it doesn't just happen like that, like you're told for years it will, and for someone first starting out that's confusing and stressful. So saying that someone else doesn't deserve simpathy for feeling confused and guidance when lost because you've been trying longer sounds to me a lot like holding a superior attitude.

    I'm definitely sorry if if sounded like I was trying to be rude. I should have expounded my thoughts. Implying that I somehow was lacking any knowledge because I don't temp really hit me as mean spirited, and that may be out of pure exhaustion (I work 6 days on a day, day, swing, swing, mid, mid schedule and that is also why I can't temp).

    I understand why I was reported and that's fine. I've avoided posting on the threads where I didn't feel I could add or contribute, and honestly only posted on this one to support the OP, and ask a question where I was confused where people were getting info from. I won't be posting on this boards threads like this whatever the outcome of being reported is.

    I apologize again for anyone who took it with a cruel intention. I hope explaining it helped.
    No one said that someone didn't deserve sympathy. Just that it can be a little difficult to feel it sometimes when you've been trying for a year or more and that person is upset that they've been trying for 2 months. I also don't think anyone implied that people who didn't temp had less knowledge, just that those of us who do prefer to temp tend to do so because it provides us with a window into what's going on at that exact moment.

    And I agree, just getting started with this can be confusing. That's why we constantly recommend reading through TCOYF or the tutorials on Fertility Friend. Understanding the science behind the whole process can make it less confusing.
  • Dastew44 said:

    @Dastew44 you have no idea what it's like to struggle with TTC. I'm very sorry that you were so heartbroken after one cycle. Unfortunately all that does is tell us that you don't have a true understanding of the TTC process. If you aren't here for science and fact then you are CLEARLY on the wrong board and you would know that if you had lurked and gotten familiar with the community. Not a single person here wears their struggles as a badge of honor as you so flippantly put it. They struggle, they educate themselves and each other, and they do their best to give themselves the most favorable odds by using knowledge and understanding. They welcome new people (who don't come in here disrespecting the community by blatantly ignoring the rules) and congratulate the lucky ones who have success. They post silly threads like the one about their pets because life can't be all about TTC and they have to continue to live their lives despite whatever troubles they face with TTC. They build relationships and try to keep sane because that is what needs to be done. No one here is going to change and start sugar coating things and blasting glitter up your butt just because a few new people failed to respect the existing culture.

    You wouldn't go to a foreign country and shit all over their way of life and expect them to change their culture to suit your preferences. Don't do it here.

    I apologized for offending anyone, and explained my intent. It's fine that you have a culture, and that you're uninterested in changing it, but that also doesn't mean that you can't allow more than one type of person or communication to happen here. I read the bump guidelines, too. You don't have to comment on every post. I looked at another post where people weren't saying "oh this would be better on X board" or "get this is the science" or even just flat out ignoring it but instead posted MEME after MEME making fun of the woman. By the way, this is also against the guidelines. There's all sorts of stuff going on here, thats true, but this is the board that's automatically given to you when you sign up.
    Sometimes, when we get exasperated with the same question being asked for the second, third, fourth, 100th time in a short period of time, we amuse ourselves by posting funny gifs (like people rolling their eyes). It happens.

    But again, I feel like this is fixating on the one or two times that people aren't the nicest, most supportive people they can be and ignoring all the other times that we've been supportive or given a ton of help. Sometimes, you have to take the good with the bad. Or decide that you can't do that, and go somewhere else. It's not like every single post/question/comment gets some rude response. The vast majority of what goes on here is support, in one way or another.



  • Sometimes, when we get exasperated with the same question being asked for the second, third, fourth, 100th time in a short period of time, we amuse ourselves by posting funny gifs (like people rolling their eyes). It happens.

    But again, I feel like this is fixating on the one or two times that people aren't the nicest, most supportive people they can be and ignoring all the other times that we've been supportive or given a ton of help. Sometimes, you have to take the good with the bad. Or decide that you can't do that, and go somewhere else. It's not like every single post/question/comment gets some rude response. The vast majority of what goes on here is support, in one way or another.

    @janeyintrouble
    I appreciate your response. I spent a couple days lurking (and searching for answers to questions I had) without posting, but didn't go back very far. Maybe what I saw wasn't representative of the board as a whole, and I jumped to conclusions based on a couple threads. It was unfair to mentally label y'all mean girls. I hope that your heartfelt response really is more indicative of what happens here.
  • @Everycol0r

    I can't imagine how difficult it is to continue after so long. I'm glad that you've found something that will help you on your journey.
  • Dastew44 said:

    antoto said:

    Dastew44 said:


    Dastew44 said:

    I can see the difference. Just a little devils advocate, though: it seems like stress can affect your cycle, and despite all of the personal stories here, some people do actually have very regular cycles. What's working for someone shouldn't be so offensive to everyone else. Me having additional stress in my life only makes my patience strained and adds strife to my marriage. Additionally, I don't have a schedule that would allow for temping even if I had a personality that would work for it. I've only been lurking about a week but I've seen a lot of stuff that makes this board seem super unwelcoming. I thought it would be something like talking to a best friend, but I've yet to see any post actually related to the process of TTC be welcomed with open arms and without judgement.

    I'm going to be as nice about this as possible - can you give examples of someone being unwelcoming? I'm relatively certain that the only people we've asked to leave are those who have been incredibly rude (i.e. name calling). There's been no flaming, no name-calling, no insults. Referring someone to the guidelines for the community and suggesting that they read through some of the threads from the last day or so to find an answer to a very VERY common question isn't rude or unwelcoming, it's doing our best to help you fit in with an established community that operates a certain way.

    I expect my best friend to tell me when I'm acting the fool. I expect her to judge me for my stupidity. That's what a best friend is for. This community does have open arms - but we're not going to blow glitter around and squee with every single person who shows up thinking they might be pregnant but wont take a test (or has taken a test but refuses to believe it's true). We deal in straight forward facts and science.

    Some people don't want that. And that's cool. But why should we have to change for new people, when we like things the way they are?
    I totally understand being straightforward. This thread is a great example though -- if everything is so straight forward (the collective voice seems to be anyone not temping is holding themselves back) and all the information can be googled or look back on previous threads then what exactly is the point of the board?

    I'll also explain why I came here. I'm TTC, and I honestly believed that it would be fast and simple. It didn't happen the first month and I was heartbroken. I had no idea I would feel that way, but I honestly believed I was pregnant. My friends aren't at the TTC stage and my mom conceived me basically as soon as they started trying. I wanted to come here and ask people how they deal, what they suggest, etc. The first post I saw was one about things you wish people know coming on the board and it basically just flamed up my experience like I was an idiot for having phantom symptoms or being hurt after a month. That's not welcoming.

    The only things I've seen that haven't just directed people elsewhere or given those "straightforward" answers is people posting pictures of their pets, and equally unrelated stuff.

    Also, just because you read it on the Internet doesn't make it true. People should engage in these questions and determine what's best on them both by scientific evidence and by anecdote. Fertility isn't the most well developed of sciences and still has a way to go. I'm not here for scientific information cause y'all aren't doctors. I'm here to hear about what others are going through.
    Then you're probably not going to fit in well with this board. Not trying to be rude, but each board has their own personality. Here we like science, don't symptom spot, and expect people to have some amount of patience because it can be rude to those who are struggling. There are lots of boards, however, that enjoy symptom spotting and will encourage false beliefs that you're pregnant or whatever. They won't spout science. Feel free to locate one of those.
    I feel like this is a good point.  Not every single human being on Earth will be happy in every single online discussion board.  And that's okay!  Just find whatever is most helpful to you.  It's a gigantic waste of your time to try to change the personality of an established community.  If this isn't helpful to you then don't waste your time!  If you find it is helpful then stay :)
    Just to clarify.... you don't find the PP to be rude or insulting to anyone and you think that it's an appropriate way to respond to someone? Good luck to yall. If the science was so simple, you wouldn't being wearing your months of TTC/Temping as a badge of honor.
    NOT COOL AT ALL.
  • Dastew44 said:


    Sometimes, when we get exasperated with the same question being asked for the second, third, fourth, 100th time in a short period of time, we amuse ourselves by posting funny gifs (like people rolling their eyes). It happens.

    But again, I feel like this is fixating on the one or two times that people aren't the nicest, most supportive people they can be and ignoring all the other times that we've been supportive or given a ton of help. Sometimes, you have to take the good with the bad. Or decide that you can't do that, and go somewhere else. It's not like every single post/question/comment gets some rude response. The vast majority of what goes on here is support, in one way or another.

    @janeyintrouble
    I appreciate your response. I spent a couple days lurking (and searching for answers to questions I had) without posting, but didn't go back very far. Maybe what I saw wasn't representative of the board as a whole, and I jumped to conclusions based on a couple threads. It was unfair to mentally label y'all mean girls. I hope that your heartfelt response really is more indicative of what happens here.

    I think if you spend time everyday lurking, you will realize we're not a bunch of meanies. I have been supported many times by the ladies on this thread and I try to offer the same level support. If you follow the board each day, you'll see that.
    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
    TTC #1 - Nov '14
    BFP 2/3/16  EDD 10/16/16
    DS born 10/18

    LFAF: Frankly Disturbing
  • lisabarrosolisabarroso member
    edited May 2015
  • I don't temp because I feel like I would overanalyze and we are just starting TTC again after a long period of not. My cycles have been weird lately though, so it is something I may consider later on.
    M & B
    miscarriage - September 2012 @ 9 weeks
    blighted ovum - November 2012
    BFP!!! - July 2015
    Amelia, my sweet little rainbow baby born March 4, 2016
  • I temp to know my cycle, and so that if I ever reach a point where I need to have my charts, I don't waste time establishing a baseline.

    BFP#1 "Watermelon" born 3/2011
    BFP#2 "Pumpkin" 7/14/12 ~ EDD 3/23/13 ~ Natural M/C 8/3/12 @ 7 weeks
    BFP#3 "Pineapple"  born 4/2013
    BFP#4 "Grapefruit" EDD 3/29/16
  • I haven't started temping yet. We just started TTC so it's all still new and fun. So for now, I'm waiting, but planning to invest soon. I love me some charts. Im still researching it all too.
  • FiancBFiancB member
    edited May 2015
    Dastew44 said:

    antoto said:

    Dastew44 said:


    Dastew44 said:

    I can see the difference. Just a little devils advocate, though: it seems like stress can affect your cycle, and despite all of the personal stories here, some people do actually have very regular cycles. What's working for someone shouldn't be so offensive to everyone else. Me having additional stress in my life only makes my patience strained and adds strife to my marriage. Additionally, I don't have a schedule that would allow for temping even if I had a personality that would work for it. I've only been lurking about a week but I've seen a lot of stuff that makes this board seem super unwelcoming. I thought it would be something like talking to a best friend, but I've yet to see any post actually related to the process of TTC be welcomed with open arms and without judgement.

    I'm going to be as nice about this as possible - can you give examples of someone being unwelcoming? I'm relatively certain that the only people we've asked to leave are those who have been incredibly rude (i.e. name calling). There's been no flaming, no name-calling, no insults. Referring someone to the guidelines for the community and suggesting that they read through some of the threads from the last day or so to find an answer to a very VERY common question isn't rude or unwelcoming, it's doing our best to help you fit in with an established community that operates a certain way.

    I expect my best friend to tell me when I'm acting the fool. I expect her to judge me for my stupidity. That's what a best friend is for. This community does have open arms - but we're not going to blow glitter around and squee with every single person who shows up thinking they might be pregnant but wont take a test (or has taken a test but refuses to believe it's true). We deal in straight forward facts and science.

    Some people don't want that. And that's cool. But why should we have to change for new people, when we like things the way they are?
    I totally understand being straightforward. This thread is a great example though -- if everything is so straight forward (the collective voice seems to be anyone not temping is holding themselves back) and all the information can be googled or look back on previous threads then what exactly is the point of the board?

    I'll also explain why I came here. I'm TTC, and I honestly believed that it would be fast and simple. It didn't happen the first month and I was heartbroken. I had no idea I would feel that way, but I honestly believed I was pregnant. My friends aren't at the TTC stage and my mom conceived me basically as soon as they started trying. I wanted to come here and ask people how they deal, what they suggest, etc. The first post I saw was one about things you wish people know coming on the board and it basically just flamed up my experience like I was an idiot for having phantom symptoms or being hurt after a month. That's not welcoming.

    The only things I've seen that haven't just directed people elsewhere or given those "straightforward" answers is people posting pictures of their pets, and equally unrelated stuff.

    Also, just because you read it on the Internet doesn't make it true. People should engage in these questions and determine what's best on them both by scientific evidence and by anecdote. Fertility isn't the most well developed of sciences and still has a way to go. I'm not here for scientific information cause y'all aren't doctors. I'm here to hear about what others are going through.
    Then you're probably not going to fit in well with this board. Not trying to be rude, but each board has their own personality. Here we like science, don't symptom spot, and expect people to have some amount of patience because it can be rude to those who are struggling. There are lots of boards, however, that enjoy symptom spotting and will encourage false beliefs that you're pregnant or whatever. They won't spout science. Feel free to locate one of those.
    I feel like this is a good point.  Not every single human being on Earth will be happy in every single online discussion board.  And that's okay!  Just find whatever is most helpful to you.  It's a gigantic waste of your time to try to change the personality of an established community.  If this isn't helpful to you then don't waste your time!  If you find it is helpful then stay :)
    Just to clarify.... you don't find the PP to be rude or insulting to anyone and you think that it's an appropriate way to respond to someone? Good luck to yall. If the science was so simple, you wouldn't being wearing your months of TTC/Temping as a badge of honor.
    People recommend using the science so that you hopefully don't have to go through the same. 

    I don't wish trouble TTC on anyone, but if it's going to happen to someone, it would be nice if it happens to this sort of shithead. Probably also the same kind of person that goes, well sometimes people that get the flu shot still get the flu, so science sucks. 
  • I am not sure how to word this. I have PCOS, but concieved both my children under a year, with the help of charting and what not. However your remark is classless and crude @Dastew44. I don't care if others accept your apology or not, you still thought it and typed it.
    I have a very large post-it for you now. I am sure I am not the only one.

    +1

    Image result for bobs burger gifs



    httpdb88884558af2dd1308c-3341812d6775871652d58b599202ab3cr4cf1rackcdncomthebumpvanillaforumscomFileUploadeaa27518d817eb3a350c501028155427jpghttpdb88884558af2dd1308c-3341812d6775871652d58b599202ab3cr4cf1rackcdncomthebumpvanillaforumscomFileUpload6bbb16d010206d10646648f568faa060jpg

  • i don't temp personally but I have pcos and am gettin regular monitoring us for ovulation. If that wasn't happening temping would be valuable info.
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