Too old?! Ridiculous comment...

crbpjb · April 2015

The other day a woman at work who I don't interact with too much came up and congratulated me saying she must be the last to know. It came up that my husband and I will have been married almost four years when baby arrives and that peoe were constantly asking what was taking us so long to reproduce. She responded that we did need to get started soon due to age. I was a little taken aback and explained that my doctor told us we were considered young (we both just turned 28). She said no you are definitely on the older side for having kids, especially for your first.
Ugh!!
I completely disagree with her (especially in my social circles and in my area), and although I do not take what she has said seriously it's still RIDICULOUS to say that to a pregnant woman. What it I was sensitive about it? What if we had been trying for years? People say to forgive her because of her generation, but she is around the same age as my husband and my parents. My mom was 30 when I was born (dad was 43) and husband's mom was 31, and he is the oldest! She had her last at 36.

Thanks for listening to my vent :-)

Krysta6 · April 2015

How rude! I'm 30 and having my first so I'm clearly ancient - LOL. I had people tell me that once I hit 30 the odds of having a baby with illnesses would increase, this was a couple of years ago so they encouraged me to start soon. All that did was make me want to slap them. My parents were 36 when I was born so I definitely don't feel old. I like to respond to people like that by pointing out their rudeness! Clearly no one has ever taught them properly!

naka92 · April 2015

People should mind their own beeswax. Dont let some stupid woman bring you down. 28 is in no way too old.
Personally, i dont think I'll want more kids past 30, but thats my decision based on what i feel is right for my life. Someone else doesnt get to make that choice for you, simple as that. Heck if you go on to have 10 more kids whats it of hers? You just do you, she had no right to say such a thing.
28 too old.. The idea alone, pff.

gabrielafrnqyepez · April 2015

People have no sensitivity when they say things ...my father lol said the same to me tho !!!! He says I'm glad ur having this baby ..(Mind you this is my 2nd child) ...he says by 28 a woman's body starts to deteriorate!!!!! :-O ..... And...your looks aren't the same :-O :-O .... He says don't get me wrong ur a beautiful woman ! But you did good !!! Next to us was his fiancee/gf at the time ( yes g/f my father is turning 50! Ladies and gents 50 and he has 2 kids age 2 and 6month old, aside from my sister 22 and me 28) her face went pale ! She looks at him and wanted to kill him told him to shut the f up because he sounded like a fing morron!!!!! I just had to laugh because I would have sounded off on him !!

amberrmariee20 · April 2015

My mom had me at 33 !

BBaires · April 2015

Ridiculous! I'm 30-- this is our first-- and we've been married 6 yrs. kids, while part of our plan, weren't the only thing we wanted to do as a couple. Education, travel and careers were all important too.
This woman sounds like someone to ignore and avoid. Nobody else should set your timeline.

aah1013 · April 2015

Hahahaha! You are such an old fart! 28 and having children?! Did you have to dust off the cobwebs?

I can't believe some people! Well, I'm 32 and I'm basically going to be the equivalent to this child's grandmother apparently!

beanie1977 · April 2015

My mom had me at 28 and always said it was the perfect age. I always thought I'd have my first at 28 but here I am, 37 and a FTM! My mom was 36 with her second.

You're totally young!

millereliz13 · April 2015

I'm 32 and have been married 8 years. According to her logic, I must be way too old. Ignore her and her ill guided logic. You're awesome and at a perfect age.

Gingerella8 · April 2015

DH and I have been married for 6 years , I'm 35, and a FTM. The comments over the past few years have been excruciating !I have been constantly asked things like "what are you waiting for" , and no one knew what was really going on(illness, infertility ).
I think there is nothing ruder then saying things like this to someone!

vamomtobe · April 2015

If she started off by saying she must be the last to know, maybe she was annoyed by that and that was her way of getting a dig in. I agree, it was really rude of her to say that to you. Venting justified! People really say the craziest things to pregnant women.

rylee murray · April 2015

That's ridiculous. I had my first at 30, and my dr told me these days the average age for a first pregnancy is 28. So you're average! I'm due with my second 2 weeks before I turn 34. I can imagine what she would say to me!

LLynde5 · April 2015

I will be married for 4 years and having my first baby at 34!! We did try for almost two years but everything was planned and I honestly believe everything happens on God's time not ours. I don't feel old and lots of the people I know choice to start having families later. Don't harbor resentment towards her, most people in that generation need filters and know not what they say! Start treating her like a senior citizen if she is that out of reality with the times;)

jham201 · April 2015

I completely agree. She is making a lot of inappropriate assumptions in her statement. I am 31 and pregnant with my first and I also got my share of people asking after my husband and I were married and saying we "needed to get started." Finally I started telling people the truth....that I wasn't healthy enough to have a baby. That certainly shut people up, although I think that some people thought somehow I was the one being rude even though they were the ones intruding in my personal life. Now I am 31 and doing well and excited for my little blessing to come. Everyone is different and moves at their own pace for any number of reasons!

angela_angel · April 2015

Well if she thinks you're old, I must be ancient! Lol. I'm 36. (But I'm having my third).

Kbhunter · April 2015

Wow. I didn't get married until I was 31(almost 32) and had my first at 33. Now I will be 35 when this one is born. It's not how I thought things would happen, I guess everyone figures they will get married and have babies in their twentys. It took me a while to find the right guy and I think that was worth the wait.
It's scary because as we age more can go wrong with pregnancies. Especially since I may be trying again after this one ( if it's a girl again

Kbhunter · April 2015

Wow. I didn't get married until I was 31(almost 32) and had my first at 33. Now I will be 35 when this one is born. It's not how I thought things would happen, I guess everyone figures they will get married and have babies in their twentys. It took me a while to find the right guy and I think that was worth the wait.
It's scary because as we age more can go wrong with pregnancies. Especially since I may be trying again after this one ( if it's a girl again)
Older people definitely don't understand how our generations are waiting longer to have babies. It's about being ready with the right person and financially too.

rue:D · April 2015

Rude! My husband and I have been married for 7 years, he's 30 and I'm 29, and we're just now having our first! Most of the people I'm friends with that are around my age still don't have kids or have only recently had their first. Sounds like this lady doesn't understand people are putting it off longer now, which is a known fact...

Rikki_5 · April 2015

wow, that was quite rude. Just goes to show you how times have changed. I'm 37 and will be 38 when baby is born and FTM. I don't regret having waited, because I'm finally in the right place and relationship to start a family.

JennKempen · April 2015

What a bitch. That's all I would have said to her as I walked away.

leighann1 · April 2015

I would assume that she was having a moment of mental instability or early onset dementia, because that is an asinine comment. This is not 1965.

28 is YOUNG (says this 32-year-old FTM, and I consider myself on the young side, thank you very much)!!!

People are idiots.

lucky10liz · April 2015

That lady is crazy! I'm 28 and this is our first. We've been married for 4 years, and we have been hearing the same type of comments... I would have loved to have children earlier than this, but we had trouble conceiving.. I don't like blurting that out to everyone so it makes it difficult to just smile at these types of people. SO RUDE!

Amazing450 · April 2015

I feel like most people start around that age. This generation is different they put education and careers before starting a family.

crbpjb · April 2015

The funny part is we had always planned to wait longer! I will be getting my doctorate next April, so waiting made the most sense for our finances, education, and careers, but we had always talked about 30 being the ideal age for us (before that). I know people all have babies at different ages for different reasons and that is great! The strangest part was just how inaccurate her comment seemed. Thank you all ladies for your support and helping me know I had the right to think it was rude.

millette2015 · April 2015

People are nuts. I once had someone tell me my eggs were going to start drying up and falling out soon. I was 27 at the time. Everyone has too many opinions (and inaccurate information!)
If it makes you feel any better, I'm 30 and my husband is 40 and this is our first. All the best to you and your "ancient" body with your pregnancy

CaitLewis15 · April 2015

That's the most ridiculous thing ever. You are currently in the 'sweet spot' of fertility (high fertility, lowest risks due to age). Your coworker is cray

pinkj4182 · April 2015

I get this a lot! Most of my graduating class has 2 kids already...I'm 26 having my first kid. So for my friends, this is old. I just tell them this, I've had more time to travel, spend with my hubby, drink, relax, and be selfish. I refuse to be a parent that has the TV babysit! Unfortunately most of my friends are those parents. They started young and are now feeling like they didn't get to live their youth, sadly, the kids are suffering. So next time someone says your too old, tell them to sit on it and that you enjoyed your youth.

amberrmariee20 · April 2015

If all you ladies are "old" I must be a baby still, I'm 22 having my second baby ! Had my first at 18 ! I don't believe there's a right and wrong age to have babies, everyone is different ! Our children are going to love us and we are going to love them no matter what our age is or what we look like (: ! Age is only a number anyways !

Dreamingmommy4 · April 2015

That's ridiculous! I'm definitely on the young side to be on the verge of having two kids, but in no way is 28 old!! I know several woman in my life who had their first in their mid to late 30s. And actually I have a friend who just had her second when she was 41! People just need to keep their opinions too themselves. Why do people feel the need to guilt pregnant women about everything they do? There is currently a thread on some of us young/young looking moms getting judged for being young moms. Really what people say has no control over our lives. We are moms and we are awesome no matter what our age.

wildbutterfli2001 · April 2015

Totally rude! people say the stupidest things to pregnant women. I was 30 when we had our son and I'll be 32 when this baby is born. My husband is 35. You are not too old.

baconlady · April 2015

ridiculous bia! someone should slap her. lol people really should keep their bogus opinions to themselves. 8-|

lilmagic00 · April 2015

Well I be damned 28 is old well how OLD is 37???? Have several seats lady!!!!! :-w

devonsd315 · April 2015

I'm 31, will be 32 when this baby is born, have been married for five years and am a FTM. What she said is completely ridiculous. My mom had her last baby (my little sister) at 42! I agree, it's completely rude for her to say and nobody's business.

jenboston22 · April 2015

I think you started at the perfect time -- I feel that 28 to 34 is really the sweet spot for starting to have kids (especially if you want to have more than one). It gives you a good amount of time to grow up, get an education, find a responsible life partner, and start out on a stable career path (for one or both of you, depending on whether or not one of you wants to stay at home with the kids, etc.). After this age it can start to get more difficult to have kids, but of course it's still possible (my aunt started having kids at 39, as she met her husband in her late 30s). I met my DH at 23, got married at 29, and we'll be having our first baby at 30 (we started trying not long after we got married).

jenboston22 · April 2015

@JessicaHam201 I'm glad you're doing better now! I'm also not in the best of health, but I'm lucky that my illness doesn't affect my pregnancy too much. But I do like to tell DH that I wish he could carry the baby for a while

MamaOwl15 · April 2015

Since when is 28 old? I was 31 when DS was born, and I'll be 34 when this baby arrives (unless he/she arrives really early).

Jayzcee · April 2015

That's ridiculous. I'm 32 and on my first after being married 7 years... And when I went to the clinic to investigate fertility, they consider me young, so no need to worry yet! 36+ they consider on the older side apparently...

McRad · April 2015

How rude. For real. I think I would have told her to eff off. Lost filter on their end means lost filter on mine. Haha. But really.
I went to the dry cleaner today and got asked if I knew how to prevent having "that" happen-- meaning the pregnancy bump. Wtf. And then she proceeded to ask if I was pregnant for my wedding day since I was picking up my preserved dress. Uhhh, no. I'm just late getting it cleaned and taken care of. And that's none of your business, by the way. :-/
Some people.

Sweetpea192 · April 2015

I was 24 when I had my first 27 when I had my second & I'm 31 with third. I don't think you are to old to be starting your family now. Just ignore the comment & enjoy your pregnancy. Sometimes people talk without thinking & not realise that actually that could be hurtful to the person your talking to..