Anyone not temping? + Intro

stargazer801 · April 2015

Hey Everyone,

I didn't really give an intro on my first post so I'll give one here as well as my question. Feel free to skip if you want to just read my question

INTRO: I've been lurking for months but now that DH and I are serious about this TTC thing I've become more active. It's always on my mind and I don't really want to share with too many people our plans so it's nice to have an online community to turn to when I want to chat/vent/ask questions/get more info/etc. Y'all are awesome! But anyway, I'm 26 and DH is 24. We've been married for 1 year but together for 5 years. This is our first TTC. I'm currently in grad school and DH is going back for a second undergrad degree this fall so we're probably crazy to TTC but we both don't want to wait any longer! We got baby fever! If we get preggers it'll be the first grandkid for my parents so I'm really excited about that too. Anyway ...

QUESTION: I've noticed a lot of women here talk about temping and BBT tracking. I didn't realize it was a thing people did anymore. Personally, I don't feel the need to temp. One, DH and I haven't been trying very long (only 2 cycles now) and two, my cycles are VERY regular, basically like clockwork. Is anyone else here NOT temping or am I in the minority with this one?

Thanks!

27alex · April 2015

msgreen21 said:
Hey Everyone,

I didn't really give an intro on my first post so I'll give one here as well as my question. Feel free to skip if you want to just read my question

INTRO: I've been lurking for months but now that DH and I are serious about this TTC thing I've become more active. It's always on my mind and I don't really want to share with too many people our plans so it's nice to have an online community to turn to when I want to chat/vent/ask questions/get more info/etc. Y'all are awesome! But anyway, I'm 26 and DH is 24. We've been married for 1 year but together for 5 years. This is our first TTC. I'm currently in grad school and DH is going back for a second undergrad degree this fall so we're probably crazy to TTC but we both don't want to wait any longer! We got baby fever! If we get preggers it'll be the first grandkid for my parents so I'm really excited about that too. Anyway ...

QUESTION: I've noticed a lot of women here talk about temping and BBT tracking. I didn't realize it was a thing people did anymore. Personally, I don't feel the need to temp. One, DH and I haven't been trying very long (only 2 cycles now) and two, my cycles are VERY regular, basically like clockwork. Is anyone else here NOT temping or am I in the minority with this one?

Thanks!

Define regular, and when do you think you ovulate?

stargazer801 · April 2015

@27alex, I say regular in that AF comes every 29 days every time. I use an app that predicts my next start day based on my 29 day cycle and then counts back 14 days to estimate when ovulation happens. Obvi, isn't not going to be perfect so I plus/minus one day from what the app says. Do you recommend temping?

Daybird11Six · April 2015

I have been up to six days off from what my tracker apps have predicted. Just FYI. One to two days adjustment may not cut it.

Edited to add: This is why I like and recommend temping. I've learned if/when I ovulate so I know if/when my period is actually late. It also tells me when my period is about to start, so there's no need to waste tests.

27alex · April 2015

msgreen21 said:
@27alex, I say regular in that AF comes every 29 days every time. I use an app that predicts my next start day based on my 29 day cycle and then counts back 14 days to estimate when ovulation happens. Obvi, isn't not going to be perfect so I plus/minus one day from what the app says. Do you recommend temping?

Yes. Because those apps really have no clue. You could be off by days and miss your fertile window completely.

Also, your body doesn't read a calendar...at any moment your 29 day cycle could change.

tigerfish227 · April 2015

I don't temp for anxiety/stress reasons. I was on BC since I was 16 and went off it last fall when I was 28 and even after stopping BC my cycle stayed roughly 28 days. I don't know what my cycles will do since my mc last month but I have a very active sex drive so missing my fertile window is not really a concern no matter when I ovulate. Worrying about tracking it for me will only lead to me second guessing everything and worrying over nothing because I will over analyze it all. It is a personal choice for everyone.

From what I've seen on here many of the ones who do temp do so to confirm ovulation and to know when to test and expect AF among other reasons I'm sure.

missteacherlady16 · April 2015

Can you elaborate more on what you meant when you said you've "been lurking for months"? I feel like most posts on this board accurately cover the reasons and science behind this pretty necessary strategy. Plus compared to a lot of other things people do, it's really cheap. Download a free app and buy a BBT for under $9

If you really want to know all the benefits of temping, you might want to read Taking Charge of Your Fertility - also usually recommended in almost every post...

missteacherlady16 · April 2015

msgreen21 said:
@27alex, I say regular in that AF comes every 29 days every time. I use an app that predicts my next start day based on my 29 day cycle and then counts back 14 days to estimate when ovulation happens. Obvi, isn't not going to be perfect so I plus/minus one day from what the app says. Do you recommend temping?

Of course this isn't accurate. You don't know how long your luteal phase is and the app is assuming it's 14 days...you could have a luteal phase of 10 or 16 days.

edited bc words are hard

crogers19 · April 2015

msgreen21 said:
my cycles are VERY regular, basically like clockwork.

They are, until they aren't.
Hormones fluctuate for many reasons which can cause your period to suddenly change when you don't expect it. Temping is the only clear way to see that change actually occur.
Fertility Friend and the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility are great resources explaining the science behind temping.

GetMeASandwich · April 2015

Just a little imput from some one who was "very reg." it can and more then likely will change. Take PP advice and temp. It's worth it. I just started.

DaphneMoon1 · April 2015

There have been several post lately asking "do I have to temp?" Obviously the answer is no. You don't HAVE to do anything. Plenty of women get pregnant without ever sticking a thermometer in their vag.

Obviously most women here are really proactive and want to know when/if they ovulate and when to expect their period. I had pretty regular cycles. I didn't know that I ovulate late and have a shorter luteal phase until I temped. (Ovulate around day 16-18, period 8-10 days later) like you I was assuming ovulated 14 days earlier, like day 12. So I was off by a week! It's up to you what you want to do. Temping may give you an idea what's going on and help you conceive faster.

Everycol0r · April 2015

missteacherlady16 said:
Can you elaborate more on what you meant when you said you've "been lurking for months"? I feel like most posts on this board accurately cover the reasons and science behind this pretty necessary strategy. Plus compared to a lot of other things people do, it's really cheap. Download a free app and buy a BBT for under $9

If you really want to know all the benefits of temping, you might want to read Taking Charge of Your Fertility - also usually recommended in almost every post...

This. I just bought Taking Charge of Your Fertility today and haven't been able to put it down. It's mind blowing. I've learned so much already & not just about temping. Definitely a must read. I've already recommended it to several friends & family.

All girls should be required to read it.

stargazer801 · April 2015

So ... based on the replies I feel I should clarify. I am definitely not anti-temp nor am I asking if I should temp. I already understand the concept and the reasons behind why some women choose to and I have simply chosen not to. I was only wondering if I was in the minority on this decision. Apparently I am very much in the minority. Thx.

firebaby688 · April 2015

msgreen21 said:
So ... based on the replies I feel I should clarify. I am definitely not anti-temp nor am I asking if I should temp. I already understand the concept and the reasons behind why some women choose to and I have simply chosen not to. I was only wondering if I was in the minority on this decision. Apparently I am very much in the minority. Thx.

" Do you recommend temping?"

That kinda sounds like you're asking if you should...

PugsandKisses · April 2015

I think a lot of women just start out have sex with out BC or condoms. After a few months they start being more aggressive, like OPKs or checking their CM. It is up to you though. However, we can never tell you if you are 'late' or not.

tigerfish227 · April 2015

firebaby688 said:

msgreen21 said:
So ... based on the replies I feel I should clarify. I am definitely not anti-temp nor am I asking if I should temp. I already understand the concept and the reasons behind why some women choose to and I have simply chosen not to. I was only wondering if I was in the minority on this decision. Apparently I am very much in the minority. Thx.
" Do you recommend temping?"

That kinda sounds like you're asking if you should...

Except she didn't say that in her original post. She asked if anyone else was NOT temping. It wasn't until later that she asked a specific person for the recommendation.

ETA: clarifying what I meant

stargazer801 · April 2015

@firebaby688, very true but really I was asking if that poster recommended it. I don't temp but I would still recommend it to other women. It's a subtle difference.

On a side note, I read the "zombie thread" from earlier today and I have to agree that The Bump community is rather unwelcoming today. Maybe I should have left this convo until tomorrow ...

firebaby688 · April 2015

tigerfish227 said:

firebaby688 said:

msgreen21 said:
So ... based on the replies I feel I should clarify. I am definitely not anti-temp nor am I asking if I should temp. I already understand the concept and the reasons behind why some women choose to and I have simply chosen not to. I was only wondering if I was in the minority on this decision. Apparently I am very much in the minority. Thx.
" Do you recommend temping?"

That kinda sounds like you're asking if you should...
Except she didn't say that. She asked if anyone else was NOT temping.

Initially, yes, but this was said later. I read it that way until the follow up post.

missteacherlady16 · April 2015

msgreen21 said:
@firebaby688, very true but really I was asking if that poster recommended it. I don't temp but I would still recommend it to other women. It's a subtle difference.

On a side note, I read the "zombie thread" from earlier today and I have to agree that The Bump community is rather unwelcoming today. Maybe I should have left this convo until tomorrow ...

You asked for opinions. We gave them. How is that unwelcoming?

firebaby688 · April 2015

msgreen21 said:
@firebaby688, very true but really I was asking if that poster recommended it. I don't temp but I would still recommend it to other women. It's a subtle difference.

On a side note, I read the "zombie thread" from earlier today and I have to agree that The Bump community is rather unwelcoming today. Maybe I should have left this convo until tomorrow ...

Honest question, why would you recommend to someone else something you don't do? I'm actually curious.

stargazer801 · April 2015

Just because it's something I have chosen not to do doesn't mean it's not something someone else shouldn't consider. For example, a lot of people don't drink soda. I totally understand why they don't. But I'm not one of them. I drink soda occasionally. If a friend came to me and asked "Should I stop drinking soda?" depending on her situation I may recommend it. If she were trying to lose weight, trying to cut down on calories, trying to limit sugar intake, etc I definitely would recommend avoiding soda. But at the same time I'm still going to partake myself.

Was that a good analogy?

tigerfish227 · April 2015

@firebaby688 I would recommend temping to someone else if I thought they would benefit from it. I choose not to for personal reasons but that doesn't mean I think it is wrong for anyone. Why would your doctor prescribe you medication if he/she doesn't need it personally? Because everyone is different and what is right for one isn't necessarily right for all.

paigeed · April 2015

I am not temping. I know the benefits and use FF to track CM, but I haven't done temping. If we aren't successful this cycle I will consider it, but not sure if I will start next cycle or not if that time comes.

You are not alone, but we are a minority.

MagicMikki · April 2015

I'm not temping right now. DH and I were doing fertility treatments with meds since Nov. but stopped in Feb. I didn't do a darn thing except have sex for my last two cycles, but will probably start temping again next cycle. I also didn't do anything for the first 5-6 cycles, at which time, I started to use OPKs and eventually started temping.

If you're interested in knowing exactly when you ovulate, and therefore when to expect your period, then temping would be the only way to confirm that you've ovulated. From there, your period will be due 12-16 days past ovulation. However, if you are more laid back, which most couples tend to be when they first start trying, then there is no need to start temping. Sounds like you fall into this boat. You're not alone!

Many women on this board do temp, and you may choose to do that someday, too. However, until then, best practice is to try to stay cool when you're nearing the end of your luteal phase and don't symptom spot or assume that you're "late" on day 30. I'm sure you're already aware of those things, but I figured I'd add that just in case!

Good luck! If you stick around this board, you'll notice that the ladies here are pretty awesome. Their straight-forward was is what makes this place awesome, and I know you'd learn to appreciate it, too!

27alex · April 2015

OP just make sure you understand the limitations of what you're doing. I stopped temping this cycle, have zero clue when I ovulated or when to expect my period. Sometimes even those who temp need a break, myself included, although I'm already kicking myself and will probably spend an unnecessary amount on tests this month.

mrs riva · April 2015

I'm currently not temping, but I have in the past when I was not TTC. Like you, I had pretty consistent cycles ~30 days, then suddenly had one that was 50 days. Talk about stressed! I started temping after that to understand my cycle and not have to wonder when AF should arrive.

I use an app to track my cycle and it predicts when I will ovulate, but as others have mentioned, it's not accurate. If I go by the app, I would be missing my fertile window every month.

I'm on my first month TTC and we're just seeing how things go. I'll probably start temping in a few months.

Jags8 · April 2015

@msgreen21 what if this whole time, despite being "regular" with a 29-day cycle, you're actually not ovulating until CD21. Therefore you could have an 8-day luteal phase, which seriously interferes with getting pregnant?

I can't fucking stand when people are all "oh we're just going with the flow." As opposed to the rest of us who are temping, like we are a bunch of neurotic women with baby rabies who schedule robotic sex with our partners? The only thing you're doing is being less educated about your own body.

Jags8 · April 2015

msgreen21 said:
@firebaby688, very true but really I was asking if that poster recommended it. I don't temp but I would still recommend it to other women. It's a subtle difference.

On a side note, I read the "zombie thread" from earlier today and I have to agree that The Bump community is rather unwelcoming today. Maybe I should have left this convo until tomorrow ...

Bye then :-h

stargazer801 · April 2015

@jags8, I'm pretty sure I
said I'm not anti-temp and I definitely don't think women who do temp are "a bunch of neurotic women with baby rabies who schedule
robotic sex". I was merely looking for some fellow non-temping
Bumpies since this is supposedly a place to find other people going through similar life events. I honestly had no idea temping was such a polarizing topic. I sincerely apologize if something I said upset you.

mrs riva · April 2015

Jags8 said:
@msgreen21 what if this whole time, despite being "regular" with a 29-day cycle, you're actually not ovulating until CD21. Therefore you could have an 8-day luteal phase, which seriously interferes with getting pregnant?

I can't fucking stand when people are all "oh we're just going with the flow." As opposed to the rest of us who are temping, like we are a bunch of neurotic women with baby rabies who schedule robotic sex with our partners? The only thing you're doing is being less educated about your own body.

Not sure if this was directed at me, but I'll respond.

No, I do not think women who temp are neurotic women with baby rabies who schedule robotic sex with your partners. Though it paints a funny picture.

I think you're taking control of TTC and giving yourself the best possible chance. Plus you'll know when to test, etc. Personally, with this being my first cycle and starting TTC mid-cycle, I opted not to temp. I'm guessing by cycle 3, I'll bust out the BBT.

terime · April 2015

I lasted one cycle post mc to break out the bbt. It's an awesome window into what my body's up to. That being said, I totally get both camps.

firebaby688 · April 2015

Baby rabies makes me laugh.

angelique0209 · April 2015

I was temping for about 5 months and my OB/GYN told me to stop. Due to my history of severe anxiety he said that temping would only stress me out (as it was) and that its so common that the temperature fluctuates for reasons other than ovulation. His advise was to just BD 4 days a week and track CM and MC. It already feels better just not having to worry about setting an alarm and not moving and charting it down every day.

Every body is different though. To each their own!

mbrooke2008 · April 2015

@angelique0209 I feel similarly. I've been temping but I have an obsessive personality that I am kind of fixated on that and testing my OPKs. We haven't even started officially TTC since my husband is out of town until June. I'm already wondering if I should continue or not. I know I ovulated via temping last month which is a relief to know I am definitely ovulating, and I have fairly short cycles (26/27 days). So I almost wonder if for my sanity and mental health I should just BD every other day and put it in God's hands or if the unknown may cause me to stress just as much. But setting the alarm every morning to temp is definitely stressful and I feel I don't sleep as well because I am scared I'm going to miss my alarm/chance to take my temperature. I'm a nut, I'll admit.

angelique0209 · April 2015

mbrooke2008 said:
@angelique0209 I feel similarly. I've been temping but I have an obsessive personality that I am kind of fixated on that and testing my OPKs. We haven't even started officially TTC since my husband is out of town until June. I'm already wondering if I should continue or not. I know I ovulated via temping last month which is a relief to know I am definitely ovulating, and I have fairly short cycles (26/27 days). So I almost wonder if for my sanity and mental health I should just BD every other day and put it in God's hands or if the unknown may cause me to stress just as much. But setting the alarm every morning to temp is definitely stressful and I feel I don't sleep as well because I am scared I'm going to miss my alarm/chance to take my temperature. I'm a nut, I'll admit.

I feel it also helps making the BD a lot less of a "job". (Personal feelings/opinion) My doc said that stressing over it will bring down my chances of conceiving so, at least in my case, it was better not to temp. Good luck!

mbrooke2008 · April 2015

angelique0209 said:

mbrooke2008 said:
@angelique0209 I feel similarly. I've been temping but I have an obsessive personality that I am kind of fixated on that and testing my OPKs. We haven't even started officially TTC since my husband is out of town until June. I'm already wondering if I should continue or not. I know I ovulated via temping last month which is a relief to know I am definitely ovulating, and I have fairly short cycles (26/27 days). So I almost wonder if for my sanity and mental health I should just BD every other day and put it in God's hands or if the unknown may cause me to stress just as much. But setting the alarm every morning to temp is definitely stressful and I feel I don't sleep as well because I am scared I'm going to miss my alarm/chance to take my temperature. I'm a nut, I'll admit.
I feel it also helps making the BD a lot less of a "job". (Personal feelings/opinion) My doc said that stressing over it will bring down my chances of conceiving so, at least in my case, it was better not to temp. Good luck!

I agree! I read a book ( the Impatient Woman's Guide to Getting Pregnant) and she joked about how waving a positive OPK in DH face isn't really a good mood setter, and I feel like I can get like that because I'm so type A and obsessive. We just have a small window (3 months) to conceive or we will have to wait another 6 months. So that has me so stressed! On the one hand I'm like lets just BD every other day and hope for the best but then I don't want to squander time if there is a way to better my chances. Sigh. This is why I'm a nut.

angelique0209 · April 2015

@mbrooke2008 I feel your pain! Lol I look at it as "well its doctors orders! " lol

jnnfrrose6 · April 2015

angelique0209 said:

mbrooke2008 said:
@angelique0209 I feel similarly. I've been temping but I have an obsessive personality that I am kind of fixated on that and testing my OPKs. We haven't even started officially TTC since my husband is out of town until June. I'm already wondering if I should continue or not. I know I ovulated via temping last month which is a relief to know I am definitely ovulating, and I have fairly short cycles (26/27 days). So I almost wonder if for my sanity and mental health I should just BD every other day and put it in God's hands or if the unknown may cause me to stress just as much. But setting the alarm every morning to temp is definitely stressful and I feel I don't sleep as well because I am scared I'm going to miss my alarm/chance to take my temperature. I'm a nut, I'll admit.
I feel it also helps making the BD a lot less of a "job". (Personal feelings/opinion) My doc said that stressing over it will bring down my chances of conceiving so, at least in my case, it was better not to temp. Good luck!

Your doctor sounds like a quack. Stress is not going to bring down your chances of conceiving and for him to say so is offensive. For most women who choose to temp, it's actually less stressful because you know that a) you did in fact ovulate and b) when you should expect your period. No stress over wondering if you're in the TWW, if you're actually late, or if you even ovulated. You are taking what little control you have over the situation. Temping does not mean sex becomes a job. It just means I can confirm whether or not the sex I've had has been well timed in relation to when I ovulate.

angelique0209 · April 2015

jnnfrrose6 said:

angelique0209 said:

mbrooke2008 said:
@angelique0209 I feel similarly. I've been temping but I have an obsessive personality that I am kind of fixated on that and testing my OPKs. We haven't even started officially TTC since my husband is out of town until June. I'm already wondering if I should continue or not. I know I ovulated via temping last month which is a relief to know I am definitely ovulating, and I have fairly short cycles (26/27 days). So I almost wonder if for my sanity and mental health I should just BD every other day and put it in God's hands or if the unknown may cause me to stress just as much. But setting the alarm every morning to temp is definitely stressful and I feel I don't sleep as well because I am scared I'm going to miss my alarm/chance to take my temperature. I'm a nut, I'll admit.
I feel it also helps making the BD a lot less of a "job". (Personal feelings/opinion) My doc said that stressing over it will bring down my chances of conceiving so, at least in my case, it was better not to temp. Good luck!

Your doctor sounds like a quack. Stress is not going to bring down your chances of conceiving and for him to say so is offensive. For most women who choose to temp, it's actually less stressful because you know that a) you did in fact ovulate and b) when you should expect your period. No stress over wondering if you're in the TWW, if you're actually late, or if you even ovulated. You are taking what little control you have over the situation. Temping does not mean sex becomes a job. It just means I can confirm whether or not the sex I've had has been well timed in relation to when I ovulate.

As I stated previously; the BD becoming a job was a PERSONAL FEELING AND OPINION. Also stated before, I have a long history of severe anxiety therefore the stress of temping was too much for me. Im sorry you feel offended but please don't insult my physician as I quite like him a lot. Temping doesnt HAVE to be for everyone.

firebaby688 · April 2015

angelique0209 said:

jnnfrrose6 said:

angelique0209 said:

mbrooke2008 said:
@angelique0209 I feel similarly. I've been temping but I have an obsessive personality that I am kind of fixated on that and testing my OPKs. We haven't even started officially TTC since my husband is out of town until June. I'm already wondering if I should continue or not. I know I ovulated via temping last month which is a relief to know I am definitely ovulating, and I have fairly short cycles (26/27 days). So I almost wonder if for my sanity and mental health I should just BD every other day and put it in God's hands or if the unknown may cause me to stress just as much. But setting the alarm every morning to temp is definitely stressful and I feel I don't sleep as well because I am scared I'm going to miss my alarm/chance to take my temperature. I'm a nut, I'll admit.
I feel it also helps making the BD a lot less of a "job". (Personal feelings/opinion) My doc said that stressing over it will bring down my chances of conceiving so, at least in my case, it was better not to temp. Good luck!

Your doctor sounds like a quack. Stress is not going to bring down your chances of conceiving and for him to say so is offensive. For most women who choose to temp, it's actually less stressful because you know that a) you did in fact ovulate and b) when you should expect your period. No stress over wondering if you're in the TWW, if you're actually late, or if you even ovulated. You are taking what little control you have over the situation. Temping does not mean sex becomes a job. It just means I can confirm whether or not the sex I've had has been well timed in relation to when I ovulate.
As I stated previously; the BD becoming a job was a PERSONAL FEELING AND OPINION. Also stated before, I have a long history of severe anxiety therefore the stress of temping was too much for me. Im sorry you feel offended but please don't insult my physician as I quite like him a lot. Temping doesnt HAVE to be for everyone.

She wasn't referencing temping. She was meaning the idea that stress causes infertility is incorrect and places blame on infertile women, therefore being offensive. I question any doctor that thinks stress causes infertility for this reason.

TheBorg7of9 · April 2015

Stress does not cause infertility.

I have a couple tips for temping for the anxious. After you've been temping a few cycles, if you see that you never ovulate before day 12 (for example), you can start temping on cycle day 10 and then only temp until you get 3 higher temps to confirm ovulation. If you scroll through my charts, you can see several charts like that.

Another thing you can do is to write down your temps instead of putting them on the chart. Then put them on the chart after you think you have already ovulated. That way you don't obsess over your chart.

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