August 2015 Moms

Is it appropriate....

LadyAbigaleLadyAbigale member
edited April 2015 in August 2015 Moms
For your husband to buy his first childs mother a Mothers Day gift? I'm new to this...

Re: Is it appropriate....

  • Did he buy it as a gift for the child to give to his/her mother from the kid? Or did he buy it from him to her? I guess part of it also depends on what their relationship is like (are they still good friends?) and what the gift was?
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  • I mean my parents are divorced. My dad always took us to buy Mother's Day presents for our mother but they were not from him per say.
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  • In my opinion, I don't think it's appropriate. It would actually make me mad. I'm having "baby mama" issues as well. I was told to stay out of the way or wait to come home from work tonight because my husband's ex was picking up my stepdaughter. Still mad, but I'd be livid if I found out he had gotten her a gift.
  • They are not good friends and hardly talk. I guess the gift would be from my stepdadughter per say but I dont think he should be the one to deliver the gift.. I say we should send the gift home with her and let her give it to her mother herself. Also, the woman I speak of is very disrespectful towards me.. 
  • I don't think it's a big deal if the kid is too young to get a gift themself and it's supposed to be from them to their mom. My boyfriend took his daughter out to get a gift for her mom for Mother's Day and she's the one that gave it to her. Now if he got a gift from him to her that would bother me
  • I think sending it home as a gift from your step daughter would be much better! And in my experience, it's probably just a jealousy thing. That's how my stepdaughter's mother is. She's especially mean to me now that I'm pregnant.
  • My husbands parents divorced when he was 18/19... To this day, nearly 15 years later, his dad sends his mom (ex-wife) a Mother's Day gift and a Christmas gift every year.
  • I think it's fine. I mean we're not talking expensive jewelry or anything right??
  • @9513SDG ... Do you do this? Funny thing, I've given her mother's day gifts before.
  • In my opinion it's not inappropriate. I think it's great that they are on good terms and he can help his son/daughter pick out a Mother's Day present for his or her mama. When I was with my ex who had a daughter we were all on really good terms and we would both go shopping to help her pick out her Mother's Day presents, birthdays, Christmas...ect..maybe if you feel comfortable with it you can join them in looking for a present for her? I think it's great that they can get along. Good for you guys! I think that's so important for the child coming from a family that was split up.
  • Miz_Liz said:

    They are not good friends and hardly talk. I guess the gift would be from my stepdadughter per say but I dont think he should be the one to deliver the gift.. I say we should send the gift home with her and let her give it to her mother herself. Also, the woman I speak of is very disrespectful towards me.. 




    I agree it is not appropriate for him to deliver it, his daughter should; however if he got it as a gift from his daughter to her mother, then I think that is perfectly appropriate (I am guessing his daughter is not old enough to go shopping and buy something herself). It is still his daughter's mother and she (the daughter) deserves to be able to do something for her mother on mother's day just like every other kid.
    ^^^^^^ I agree with what @Miz_Liz said about this situation
  • I think it's fine if it's coming from his daughter. I think it's a great message for your husband to send to his daughter too. He is still supportive of her having a good relationship with her mom and he respects her enough to help her be acknowledged on that day. Good for him, seems like a great dad.
  • I think it's great! No need for bad relationships just bc she's a past love. I'd actually recommend it as long as it's not too personal or intimate. She still had his child. I think
    That's awesome
  • If my ex gave me a mother's day gift I would be shocked but also would feel appreciative (he's never given me anything in the 9 years we were together). I don't know how his girlfriend would feel though. I think it's nice he is wanting to do something for her. She is after all mother to his child. My only issue would be if this is something new he's doing or if it's something super fancy intimate or expensive.
  • My sons dad has done this since we split up 5 years ago. I also let my son pick out gifts for him on fathers day birthday and christmas. It makes my son very happy so we will continue to do this until he is old enough to shop himself. But my son is always the one to give the gift never myself or my ex. I
  • My dad always took me out to buy gifts for my mom for mothers day. I wouldnt get upset unless its from him.

    Baby #2 is due

    August 26, 2015


  • They are not good friends and hardly talk. I guess the gift would be from my stepdadughter per say but I dont think he should be the one to deliver the gift.. I say we should send the gift home with her and let her give it to her mother herself. Also, the woman I speak of is very disrespectful towards me.. 

    See my response is totally based on the key information your not answering. Is the gift from your husband or from your stepdaughter?

    If it's from your stepdaughter then tough noogies. I am sorry she is disrespectful towards you but you can't change her behavior only your own. Kill her with kindness, don't punish the child and she will respect you for it later.

    If it's from your husband then I can see it being a bit weird. If it was a card and flowers I would let it go. Anything more I might be a bit perturbed.
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  • In my opinion, it is not inappropriate.  My ex and I are no longer together - and as a FTM I think it would be nice for him to celebrate me as the mother of his first child.  However, he now has a new girlfriend who is incredibly insecure - so my guess is that I will never see a gift from him.  Which is fine too.  Luckily, I have a lot of people in my life to celebrate my role as a mother.  Alas, I think that if your ex wants to do this for himself or for his child - that is okay.  In the end, all that matters is that everyone gets along for the kids.
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