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Support from Husband

sfleisssfleiss member
in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
I just had a second miscarriage last week. My husband and I are dealing with this differently: he is silent and stoic, while I want to cry and be reassured. I went to a baby shower yesterday, and obviously was a wreck when I came home. I snapped at him when he asked me how it was, and apologized later, but he ignored me all night and watched his stupid movies. We got into a big fight and cannot see eye to eye as to the other persons ways. Please help me with advice, I don't want our miscarriages to ruin our marriage!
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Re: Support from Husband

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    vallericvalleric member
    I'm sure your husband is just very upset at another loss and doesn't know how to express that or can't right now with you. It sounds like maybe he just wants a little space right now with his grief.
    If it were me I would tell my husband just how much I loved him and how I was feeling, but then reassure him that he can deal with this differently and just know that I was there for him.
    Luckily for me my husband cried just like me and has been wanting to spend more time with me than ever.
    I hope everything works out for you two. It is all very stressful!
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    4N6s4N6s member
    My husband has a completely different outer shell than me. Ha. I know that he really wants a baby, as do I and the miscarriage was devastating. But he also thinks everything happens for a reason and we will get pregnant again. He is much more optimistic than I and his feelings come out much more slowly. He will randomly say something like, I wish that was me and my kid on the playground, etc. as we walked past the park, and then I know, he does care and did care. He just didn't cry about it. It's also not very "real" to them because they didn't go through everything we went through. We physically felt the loss.

    Hang in there. I'm sorry for your loss and don't let this pull you away from him.
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