Family kissing baby w/ cold sores

mpmom1518 · April 2015

Has anyone ever had to sit their family down before or after their baby was born to tell them not to kiss their baby on the lips/face? My husband and I are extremely concerned about specific family members kissing our baby on the lips and passing on the herpes virus. A lot of family members get cold sores on their lips & aren't the most educated about it. My MIL gave it to both my husband and his brother due to a lack of education on how they're spread & is my biggest worry. She thinks they are hereditary, and after many years of trying to explain otherwise I'm still not sure she believes me when I tell her the truth of the matter. I was hoping someone here might have had a similar situation when their first babies were born and might have some advice on how they approached specific/all family & friends about something which could be potentially offensive if phrased wrong but really is a health concern. I've also read that because the first herpes outbreak is usually accompanied by a fever that it can be very dangerous for a baby or young child to get. I'm not too worried about it offending people - just looking for the most polite way to phrase it to them since my husband is adamant about not passing this on any farther.

SantistevanMommie · April 2015

It's only contagious if they have a cold sore on their face. Just ask them to NOT kiss baby at all when they have one. My hubby gets them and he has already expressed to me and his family that if they have one there will be NO kisses for baby until they are gone. And if they get upset oh well because you're right it can be very dangerous for baby to get one when they are so little.

Kelsie07Ulmer · April 2015

Not sure how to address it with others. I suffer from occasional cold cores and know not to kiss, or share drinks with my son when I can feel one coming on. If you notice someone has one at the time just remind them kissing will spread it to the baby.

visualcircus · April 2015

My brother and I had cold sores ever since very young. Our family doesn't kiss the baby on the lips/face so I imagine it was transferred probably by sharing straws or forks. I would just ask, no kissing the baby on the lips, or it would be hard to if the pacifier was in. However, when the kid is older and staying over at the grandparents, there is no way to control everything, especially sharing utensils. Not to scare you, but it isn't the end of the world if they get cold sores. I'm going to do my best to not pass this on, but there are so many situations beyond infant stage where it can be transferred.

bpwife&mama · April 2015

Sorry, but this is one of those posts I was referring to on FFFC. Perhaps if they visibly have a cold sore you should mention not to kiss baby on the lips. I seriously can't imagine sitting my sister down (who gets cold sores frequently) and reminding her not to kiss my baby on the lips. Actually, she has kissed my three year old on the lips and he has never had a cold sore. I can't imagine actually worrying about these things. You're going to have to keep you baby in a bubble because they can get a virus or a fever from practically a thing. Maybe I'm too laid back.

J&D2007 · April 2015

I also don't think it's something you need to discuss with people ahead of time. HSV is only transferred during an active infection, so unless they have a visible cold sore, you needn't worry. That being said, more than 85% of the population has HSV in their bodies. Only a portion of those people will express it with an active lesion. So, unfortunately, it's one of those things that no matter what you do, it'd be hard to keep a virus from a child. But, I sure would hope that someone would never kiss a child with an active infection.

malamaza · April 2015

I get cold sores every time my immunity gets weak or I get a cold, and I kiss my husband and my son and neither has ever gotten one..this strain of the virus is easy to pick up so chances are your child will be in contact with it sooner or later and become a carrier but that does not mean they have to get cold sores... I don't think its nice for anyone other than parents to kiss little babies on the face especially with a cold sore so I would just go ahead and tell them

missmarissa711 · April 2015

I'm not understanding. If someone has a cold sore on their lip, I would think it would be common sense not to kiss the baby on the lips. I wouldn't think you would have to sit a bunch of people down to explain this. Let's face it, people are going to want to kiss your baby, but how often do people kiss babies on the lips? I don't know, seems a little over the top to me.

Miz_Liz · April 2015

I have never kissed (nor seen anyone kiss) a baby on the lips. Babies don't "pucker up" so if you go to kiss a newborn on the lips you are bound to get a nice open mouthed drooly surprise - and most people know this. I didn't give my DS kisses on the lips until he was much older and understood what kisses were and could pucker up. I also think most people with an active cold sore are pretty hyper sensitive to them, and probably wouldn't kiss your child with one anyway. Not something I would ever have a sit down conversation with someone about, if you feel the need to address it when they have an active sore and are around your child, go for it.

Startingagain2015 · April 2015

I'd just tell everyone please don't kiss my baby. I don't like ppl kissing on my baby.

Kelsie07Ulmer · April 2015

The kissing on the lip isn't the only issue with cold sores. My friends child gets herpes in her eye and had since she was a baby and her doctor said it was probably a result of being kissed near the eye by someone who had a cold sore. It should be common knowledge to my kiss someone if you have a cold sore but if you feel like it's an issue just say hey don't kiss my baby.

kat+1 · April 2015

I DO NOT ALLOW ANYONE TO KISS MY SON IN THE LIPS.... That right is reserved for me and daddy who do not have cold sores or any other transmittable infection. I don't even think twice about telling people no lip kissing. As my germaphobic husband says you do t know where their mouth had been so why would you let it be on our child....

Types of Diseases contagious from saliva:

Common Cold
Flu
Upper Respiratory Infection
Meningitis
Bacterial meningitis
Mononucleosis
Epstein-Barr virus
Cold sores
Cytomegalovirus
Molluscum contagiosum
Hepatitis B
Chronic Hepatitis B
Polio
And many more....

jlsweets · April 2015

kat+1 said:
I DO NOT ALLOW ANYONE TO KISS MY SON IN THE LIPS.... That right is reserved for me and daddy who do not have cold sores or any other transmittable infection. I don't even think twice about telling people no lip kissing. As my germaphobic husband says you do t know where their mouth had been so why would you let it be on our child....

Types of Diseases contagious from saliva:

Common Cold
Flu
Upper Respiratory Infection
Meningitis
Bacterial meningitis
Mononucleosis
Epstein-Barr virus
Cold sores
Cytomegalovirus
Molluscum contagiosum
Hepatitis B
Chronic Hepatitis B
Polio
And many more....

For Real??? (If I knew how to enter a laughing emjoi I would enter it here)

kat+1 · April 2015

Here's one for you

camedowncrushing · April 2015

I also do not allow anyone to kiss my babies on the lips. I think it is super germy and gross...plus I feel like kissing on the lips is a thing that is between two adults. I hadn't thought it ahead...I just assumed no one would ever try to kiss my baby on the lips...until my mother in law did. I just told her we didn't want the baby to get germs. My mom gets cold sores, and we had to tell her not to kiss the baby when she had one. She didn't understand that that was the way cold sores are spread. You would think as previous posters have said that if someone had a cold sore they would know better, but in my experience that isn't the case.

bpwife&mama · April 2015

kat+1 said:
I DO NOT ALLOW ANYONE TO KISS MY SON IN THE LIPS.... That right is reserved for me and daddy who do not have cold sores or any other transmittable infection. I don't even think twice about telling people no lip kissing. As my germaphobic husband says you do t know where their mouth had been so why would you let it be on our child....

Types of Diseases contagious from saliva:

Common Cold
Flu
Upper Respiratory Infection
Meningitis
Bacterial meningitis
Mononucleosis
Epstein-Barr virus
Cold sores
Cytomegalovirus
Molluscum contagiosum
Hepatitis B
Chronic Hepatitis B
Polio
And many more....

You need to calm down. I know I often sorry about my son catching Epstein-Barr virus on a daily basis. Sorry, not sorry.

bpwife&mama · April 2015

camedowncrushing said:
I also do not allow anyone to kiss my babies on the lips. I think it is super germy and gross...plus I feel like kissing on the lips is a thing that is between two adults. I hadn't thought it ahead...I just assumed no one would ever try to kiss my baby on the lips...until my mother in law did. I just told her we didn't want the baby to get germs. My mom gets cold sores, and we had to tell her not to kiss the baby when she had one. She didn't understand that that was the way cold sores are spread. You would think as previous posters have said that if someone had a cold sore they would know better, but in my experience that isn't the case.

My three year old understands kissing on the lips right now. That's how he kisses. Good luck explaining to your toddler that it's a "sexual thing".

morbid007 · April 2015

I feel like this is exactly what's wrong with our society today. Everyone is so worried about every little thing. Some how people have survived up till this point, and being worried and putting your child in a bubble isn't going to help them in the long run. Not pointing fingers at all of you! Just saying some people need to relax.

Saratiff · April 2015

jlsweets said:

kat+1 said:
I DO NOT ALLOW ANYONE TO KISS MY SON IN THE LIPS.... That right is reserved for me and daddy who do not have cold sores or any other transmittable infection. I don't even think twice about telling people no lip kissing. As my germaphobic husband says you do t know where their mouth had been so why would you let it be on our child....

Types of Diseases contagious from saliva:

Common Cold
Flu
Upper Respiratory Infection
Meningitis
Bacterial meningitis
Mononucleosis
Epstein-Barr virus
Cold sores
Cytomegalovirus
Molluscum contagiosum
Hepatitis B
Chronic Hepatitis B
Polio
And many more....

Oh for god sakes your in for a nerve wracking rest of your life

Lalala2326 · April 2015

I told my mom and my MIL (who both get cold cores) that cold sores can be extremely contagious and even deadly for newborns (which it can be). I just told them. I will probably put out a reminder come closer to time. My husband's aunts also get them and one of his cousins is due in July. Its probably not a bad thing for all of them to realize that and just to be extra cautious. If any of them feel one coming on, I trust that they won't be kissing on my baby. If I see that any of them have one I will probably do a reminder and push hand washing and do more babywearing. As for "how" to tell them though, for me at least its not real difficult. If its something that has to do with my kids' safety though I'm usually pretty blunt, and I think they are used to that from my daughter.

Saratiff · April 2015

kat+1 said:
I DO NOT ALLOW ANYONE TO KISS MY SON IN THE LIPS.... That right is reserved for me and daddy who do not have cold sores or any other transmittable infection. I don't even think twice about telling people no lip kissing. As my germaphobic husband says you do t know where their mouth had been so why would you let it be on our child....

Types of Diseases contagious from saliva:

Common Cold
Flu
Upper Respiratory Infection
Meningitis
Bacterial meningitis
Mononucleosis
Epstein-Barr virus
Cold sores
Cytomegalovirus
Molluscum contagiosum
Hepatitis B
Chronic Hepatitis B
Polio
And many more....

That sounds like a depressing life...how did the human race survive?

CaliforniaDream87 · April 2015

Wait, now kissing on the lips is meant for adults? I seriously can't.

bpwife&mama · April 2015

This is preciously the post I can't handle. I love how some of you have pow wows with your family members to remind them what they can and can't do around your kids, ahem, for their "safety". Like I mentioned in another post, just stay home and don't invite anyone over.

ginger8484 · April 2015

It's not contagious unless you have an out break.

LEGALLYblonde86 · April 2015

I can tell you, I work in healthcare and have had to talk with my MIL about vaccines and kissing on the face. Healthy or not, there is no reason to kiss my child on the face. We don't need your germs. My in laws do not visit us. She doesn't drive due to epilepsy and my FIL is a truck driver, so when he gets home, he doesn't want to drive anywhere. She fought me on this (because you know, obviously she knows more about babies than I do, even though this is my second, and she has admitted to me that I am a better mother than she was). I told her it but if you can not do the one thing I ask of you and keep your mouth away from my babies face, we will not be up to visit until the baby is older. I can be called a bitch and whatever else, but I am keeping my baby safe. I have seen too many sick babies that could have been avoided by people washing their hands or getting vaccinated or keeping their mouths to themselves.

irohspupil · April 2015

CaliforniaDream87 said:
Wait, now kissing on the lips is meant for adults? I seriously can't.

Am I really the only one whose parents did not ask that I kiss them on the lips? Never was I taught that. In fact, the first time I remember my grandmother suddenly asking for a kiss goodbye when I was maybe 8, I totally freaked out on her for wanting me to kiss her anywhere other than her cheek. I was upset she insisted on me kissing her on the lips. I thought just mommies and daddies or whatever did that! It didn't feel right

Maybe I'll make sure to kiss my daughter on the lips so she doesn't go through the same confusion I did. I even remember feeling pressured to kiss my older brother goodbye after that. Totally weirded me out.

SantistevanMommie · April 2015

Am I really the only one whose parents did not ask that I kiss them on the lips? Never was I taught that. In fact, the first time I remember my grandmother suddenly asking for a kiss goodbye when I was maybe 8, I totally freaked out on her for wanting me to kiss her anywhere other than her cheek. I was upset she insisted on me kissing her on the lips. I thought just mommies and daddies or whatever did that! It didn't feel right

Maybe I'll make sure to kiss my daughter on the lips so she doesn't go through the same confusion I did. I even remember feeling pressured to kiss my older brother goodbye after that. Totally weirded me out.

When I was younger I always kissed my mom, dad, grandma, aunt, uncle, and sister on the lips. Now that I'm older I don't kiss them on the lips. Sometimes my mom because well she's my mom. But I think once kids get older it kind of changes to kisses on the cheek. And my family never pushed me to kiss them on the lips.

Lalala2326 · April 2015

bpwife&mama said:
This is preciously the post I can't handle. I love how some of you have pow wows with your family members to remind them what they can and can't do around your kids, ahem, for their "safety". Like I mentioned in another post, just stay home and don't invite anyone over.

8-| Get over it or quit reading posts like this if they bother you so much. Some of us have things we feel more strongly about than others, and some of us are not fortunate enough to have families that take basic safety precautions. If it were up to my MIL she'd be wiping my daughter's face with a dirty dishrag, have her forward facing under a year with just the chest buckle clipped, and have been on solids since 2 months old. In my husband's generation (in his family) pretty much every kid ended up with cold sores in part because their parents didn't take precautions against it. Is it the end of the world? No. Can it always be prevented? No. But can I try to prevent my daughter (and next baby) from having to deal with that? Yes. You can bet I'm going to have conversations (or pow-wows as you apparently refer to them as) with my family when things come up that I don't believe are good for them or could threaten their "safety." Doesn't make me a crazy recluse. Just makes me practical and willing to stand up for what I believe is right for my daughter.

Oh and the kissing on the lips thing has always wierded me out too. Just wasn't the norm in my family except from my grandma on one side. My parents didn't kiss us on the lips either. The only time I kiss DD on the lips is when she is giving me kisses and that's where she aims. Otherwise I aim for cheeks/forehead/nose/etc... She's likely going to grow up thinking its weird when relatives try to also. Its just personal/family differences. Nothing wrong with either way. Its just what you are used to.

kedbach · April 2015

I think I only kissed anyone on the lips if there was an epic failed miss of the cheek, haha but personal choice, I suppose.

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